"Are you really going out there with such low degrees outside?" Key heard SHINee's leader inform him in which he nodded with his own attitude.

"Yeah, I need some fresh air." Was his only response since he had already runned out of excuses for the last six days.

"You don't need to lie to me. I know the real reason, Kibum. Why don't you just admit it? You miss her." He turned and watched the small smile displayed on the clumsy leader and only shook his head.

"I never said I didn't." 

"You miss her as more than a 'close friend'." 

That was the end of the conversation with the diva shaking his head in idiocy and snapping the door open with no response whatsoever, and closing it with a loud thud. Who was he to think something so idiotic? Yeah, he was his leader and one of the closest friends he had ever had. Still, he was in no position to try and name his mixed emotions at the moment.

And to finish it off, his eyes did not wished to have witnessed the two lovebirds making out madly outside of his dorm and interrupting them with loud gasps. He chuckled bitterly and somehow, felt envious over them. Why were they so happily inlove with each other, yet his heart seemed to clench tighter by the day? "Really, Sulli? Why here?" He teased the panting girl being held by the waist by SHINee's own flaming charisma, Minho.

"He wouldn't let me go back to my Unnies until I dropped him off." She giggled and looked deep into her boyfriend's eyes. "Shouldn't it be the opposite, Oppa?"

Key scrunched his nose in a teasing sign of disgust at Minho's response of iniatiating another deep kiss in which she only responded with her own passion. He shook his head and turned away from the couple. "Too much PDA with those two these days." He mumbled with a peek of the corner of his eye.

"Hyung, it's past midnight. If you don't get some sleep, your going to be a mess for tomorrow's schedule." He looked away from Seoul's elite view and towards SHINee's one and only maknae, Taemin.

"Araso, I'll go back in a few minutes." Was his only response and he heard the door open and close suggesting he had left back to the dorms.

He looked down from SM's dorms' roof and smiled back to the past when her and himself were younger and a full ball of chaos when they were together. He remembered so clearly the day she had suggested to throw water balloons from the roof onto each and every single idol that walked out of the building. They were in trouble afterwards, in which they both expected but had taken the risks. But his heart pounded when she had defended him throughout the whole discussion of scolding with her own excuses.

His foot slightly stomped on the spot they were exactly in and he sighed to nothing in particular. He looked out to the stars of Seoul and showed his eyes that were currently missing the glittering spark of happiness. The only thing they showed was the glinting gloom in them.

He silently looked out to the sky and exhaled a deep breath. "Amber...Can you come back?" 

He waited for a response, but all he got back was the silent cold breeze brushing his pale face. His shoulders slumped and he turned away from the dark sky above him and headed to the roof's door into the building's dorms.

His heart clenched tighter at the faith.

He was SHINee's diva. SHINee's almighty Key. The person who was highly shipped alongside with his closest member, Jonghyun. The naggy member known as 'SHINee's Omma.' The key to the right answers. The member with the talent of learning languages in a mere of weeks and months. Taemin's personal mother figure when he was attending school. Minho's naggy friend. Jonghyun's one and only 'Yeobo.' And Onew's diva-ish dongsaeng. Key was part of SHINee, and a big part of it.

Anyhow, it was as if SHINee was missing a member, and that was him. His body and appearance was there, but his heart was just no longer in it. His heart was somehow clouded with only feelings for the missing tomboy he was closest to. 

It all began with that harsh day she had confessed to him about the news. He believed she was joking at first with her playful attitude. But he learned afterwards that she wasn't when he visited f(x)'s dorm to only find her packing. His world spinned in confusion and an odd sensation he had never experienced swirled in his blood.

His mind could still hear her chuckle at his idiocy of believing she was joking and her explanation. 

She left for a good reason.  He couldn't deny it no matter how much he wanted to. Her older sister, Jackie was diagnosed with a severe issue functioning inside her body and was immediately reported to the hospital. Being close as ever to her older sister, Amber was in an extreme hurry to go back to the states with a request of having at least a two month break.

Key couldn't do anything about it. No matter how much he wanted to. It was her sibbling, her family. They needed her, and he couldn't be selfish and greedy to keep her away from them. No matter how much of an immense close friend Amber meant to him, he needed to let her go for a while. Her scent and sense of her arms around him in a farewell still lingered in his flesh, and he would find his eyes looking down to the spot where she had cuddled her head deep into his manly chest in affection with words of how much she would miss him. He had waved her off then...But now, how much he wanted to have her in his arms was something hard to explain.

"Hyung." He heard the silent whisper go through his ears and he turned to the maknae who seemed tense. That was when he noticed the location he was in...A live Interview.

His eyes slightly widened, and he bowed in apology. "Mianhe, I drifted off for a moment there. What were you asking?"

"We asked you a question before you drifted off...I guess the subject is meaningful to you, huh?" He looked in confusion at the laughing interviewers teasing him. 

"Sorry, but what was the question again?" He utterly forgot the question with the puddle of thoughts concerning of a certain female.

He smirked teasingly at the shake of the interviewers head. "We heard that f(x)'s Amber and you are very close friends considering the many selcas you both have in each other's media accounts and the many times fans have caughten you two together, yes?"

He only nodded in response and he knew why he drifted to those kind of thoughts. The question concerned of Amber.

He viewed the MC smirk with a nod of his head. "Then, I believe you know a little bit more about the big rumor going around the media." Key cocked his head to the side and motioned for him to speak. "What do you think about the rumors of F(x)'s Amber secretly dating EXO's Kris? Those rumors are soon going to kill me if nobody gets me a closer peak to the greatly rumored couple." 

The question made his forehead crease and his blood boil oddly. Was he jealous? Angry? Impatient? Why was he even feeling this way? His hand mindlessly clenched behind the cameras and he only shook his head with no smile whatsoever. "Of course the rumor is fake, how can you even believe that kind of stupid rumor? I mean, Amber is the famous tomboy. I can't even imagine that rumor with that Llama placed as the female." Was his blunt response that owned him some scolds from Jonghyun besides him. Sometimes, Key could be way too blunt for his own good.

He smiled at the change of the subject, but still felt his blood heating up at the mere thought of the rumored couple. He looked towards his manager and mouthed secretly a statement. When he got a nod of agreement, he turned towards the speaking interviewer. "Sorry for interrupting but may you please excuse me? I need to use the restroom." He smiled one last time to the live camera and quickly shuffled out the area with his heart pounding furiously at the tense session. 

But not before noticing the disappointed signs 's showed and the crossed arms of his group's manager.

He disappointed them again, but he could care less. It was their fault for bringing her up, again.

"She updated." His voice ringed of sudden excitement at the sight of the updated Instagram of hers. Even if he only followed Woohyun from Infinite to keep his reputation, he still researched her profile daily for a hope of news. After two months of not updating, he noticed the updated fifteen second video and his index finger mindlessly clicked for it to play. 

"I just want to apologize to all of you amazing people out there that have been messaging and giving me amazing words of wisdom for myself and my family. We are all so thankful for that, and I just hate myself for saying this. But even though I promised two months of having a break from my idol life, I honestly need more time for this issue to recover. I hope you can all understand. Thank you, and I love you all. Fighting!" His eyes darted to the date of the video's update in alarm and he felt the urge to throw the phone against the wall. 

Why more time? Why? Wasn't two months enough? His mind spinned around in dizziness and he found his body falling miserably at the sudden feeling of being dizzy. He gripped his head in pain and groaned outloud as he gripped the wall behind him. He was weakening by the day, he just knew it.

"Lord, Kibum. What is hapenning to you?" He looked up from the floor and noticed his grandmother walking in from the kitchen's door. Yes, after much disappointment and worries from the industry, Key was given a break from work and a chance to get himself together. Not that it was working, it only left him more time to think and nag at the tomboy's disappearance. 

He jerked at the sudden feeling of someone sitting besides him and only found his elder grandmother he much loved with his heart sitting besides him. He helped her fragile body sit correctly at the sight of viewing her struggling and gripped his panging head with his free hand. 

His eyes looked puzzled at the shake of her head and cocked his head in question. "Tell me." Was her question. He looked away from his grandmother and out to the antique setting of her home. He made up an excuse to get rid of the subject and looked out to the distance. "I haven't been sleeping well these days. It's as if the desire to sleep is not in my body. I can't sleep a single second for the past few days." He didn't lie on that. It was true. No matter how much he wanted to sleep and dream, he just couldn't. As much sleeping pills he drowned himself in, the nagging thoughts of her had him layed on the bed with eyes wide open. Her scent, her body, her attitude, her love, her tomboy figure, her active mind, everything about her had him smiling idiotically throughout the dark night with eyes being clouded with the invisible sight of her. 

"And why is that?" 

Key turned away from her and only shook his head. "It's nothing." 

However, he was already caught by the tail and his smart grandmother caught him. "Nothing as in a female?" He turned towards the elder lady and noticed the small smirk displayed in response to his shocked expression. His shoulders slumped and nodded. 

"And is that lady the manly girl your always shown with on the television?"

Key turned in aghast and gasped. "How do you know?"

His ears heard the loud laugh and the pat of her hand on his shoulder. "I may be old, but I still watch over you, Love." 

His response was a light chuckle and a nod of his head. "I can never deny you that, Halmoni." 

"I would've never thought my odd grandson would fall in love with that kind of female. Not that I'm complaing about it. She seems to be such a darling and a sweetheart by the looks of her spectacular attitude. Around here, everyone talks about her. Amber, right?"

Anyhow, he was sent to the outside world at her assumptions and quickly shook his head. "She's just a close friend, I don't like her."

He turned at the sound of the click of her tongue in a downcasting manner and crossed his arms. "Bwo?"

"Just look at yourself, Kibum. I have never seen you this big of a mess over a girl. It's as if you were fired from your job. You're out of the world right now."

"That's because she's one of my best friends."

"That's what you keep believing. I bet that if another boy out there tries to make a move with her, your face would be of one of total anger considering your attitude, sweetie. I wouldn't be surprised if you would quickly jump in and remove any kind of interaction of the boy with her." The grandmother stopped his sudden snap and brought a hand up. "I know that you may think that I don't know anything about you two, but just by the way you look at her in television makes me sure you like this girl in some way. I mean, I've grown you since a baby boy, Kibum. No matter how much you might of hated me when you were younger, I still know every single thing from your personality and looks, sweetie."

Key only shook her off with a sarcastic chuckle. "You have it all wrong, Halmoni. Amber is just a close friend. That's all."

"Or are you in denial?" That question caught him off guard and he was left speechless.

Was he really in denial?

Sometimes, every idol in the SM industry doubted Key's sanity. How many times had they all found Key voicing Amber's name in hopes of talking to her but then finding himself learning that she had left? It seemed too many to be considered as a hallucinator around all idols.

How many times had Key knocked at f(x)'s dorm with Comme Des and Garcons tucked under his arms, waiting for the daily walks he would take them alongside Amber's pets, Jack Jack and Princess each sunday but too only be thrown into reality that Amber was away? Too many for his own good, that even the rest of the f(x) members would view him with pity.

"Oppa...Amber is in L.A., remember?" His eyes jerked at reality and he nodded dumbly.

"Can I just come in?" He noticed the puzzled face of f(x)'s visual and sighed. "I just want Comme Des and Garcons to spend a little time with their friends, you know?" He viewed the puppies tucked under his arm and noticed their indifferent expressions with agony.

He entered mindlessly when Sulli opened the door fully with a smile on her face and a sudden giggle. "Araso, but other than me, nobody's here. They all went away for their two-day break. I'm about to head out somewhere." 

He noticed the blush on her cheeks and he rolled his eyes playfully. "Minho?" He viewed her response of a shy nod and he chuckled. "Araso, I'll lock the door when I leave."

"Comawo, Oppa." She viewed his attitude that seemed to be downer by the day that passed and she sighed. Sulli took brave steps and drew him in for an embrace. "Your not the only one suffering, Oppa...We all miss her." And with that said, he only won himself a pitiful stare before the girl left with quite a hurry out the door.

His mindless steps took him to the ordinary location he would walk up in early mornings secretly with the consent of the rest of the f(x) members to wake up the sleepy tomboy. He remembered he would earn himself surpr