"Indifferent"

Story Link | Reviewed by boogerbrain95

TITLE (4/5)

I really enjoyed the story title since it was simple and straight to the point. It made me curious as to who or what was indifferent. Good job!

FORWARD/DESCRIPTION (8/10)

The forward was simple but it definitely caught my attention. It was enough of a teaser to make me wonder what was going to happen and what the final result would be. It made me stand on the edge of my seat.

PLOT (12/20)

The plot wasn't at all original since it's been done countless times. Since it was Baekyeol (Chanbaek) the storyline was something that I've seen and read a lot of times. It doesn't have much originality but I liked the fact that there was actually a villian in the story. You don't know how much I huffed and puffed as I read it.

CHARACTERIZATION (10/15)

There was quite a bit of depth to Baekhyun seeing how he changed throughout the story. It helped to see the way he felt and what he was thinking since it added much to his character. Chanyeol of course was the biggest surprise. I won't spoil it but I have never felt so angry with our Happy Virus. I would have liked to know more about Chanyeol's reasoning so that I could see his side of the story. There wasn't much to him except for being the school playboy.

GRAMMER (13/15)

 There were very few mistakes but I managed to find some along the way. You tend to switch tenses a lot so it was a bit difficult to know whether it was present or past. Other than that, you managed to make few spelling and grammar mistakes. Kudos to you!

FLOW (12/15)

The story wasn't too rushed and wasn't too slow either. It flowed along very nicely but I would have liked to have seen how Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship began and why Chanyeol did the things he did. It would have made the story even better.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (14/15)

The story was good considering the lack of orginality. It definitely kept my attention as I read it. I lack the attention span but your story made me feel happy, angry and then sad. That's very hard to do for a oneshot. 

APPEARANCE (0/5)

There wasn't anything special with the appearance so I recommend getting a main image to spice your story up a bit. Other than that it looks perfectly fine.

Total Score:

(73/100)

Additional Comments:

I am so sorry for taking so long to do the review. My computer was acting up and I barely managed to have access to any computer today. Also, it's Baekyeol so how could you go wrong?? Lol. Thank you for picking our shop to do your review. Don't forget to credit us as well. Also, my review is not intended to ridicule you or poke fun at all. It is just an honest review from my point of view. So please do not be affected by the review at all. Fighting!