Story Link | Reviewed by boogerbrain95

TITLE (4/5)

I really enjoyed the story title since it was simple and straight to the point. Although some may find it cliché and a tad boring I felt it fit perfectly with the story idea. I wouldn't necessarily click on it but the title was very nice. Good job!

FORWARD/DESCRIPTION (5/10)

The forward was too simple and a bit boring. There was nothing that caught my attention. You didn't give away the story but the small teaser didn't really help at all. Just put a bit more details about the story (no spoilers though) and you should be fine. 

PLOT (11/20)

The plot wasn't at all original since it's a typical Romeo and Juliet kind of story. The POV of each characters weren't clear enough and the ending was extremely predictable. To be honest, Soo Young's character wasn't necessary at all. A few more details and twists could have made it much better.

CHARACTERIZATION (5/15)

There wasn't much character depth to Jessica, Taeyeon and Soo Young. They weren't that believable at all. Since the story was a bit rushed, the characters lost their personality. I would recommend to show changes to each character as a way to improve your story.

GRAMMER (7/15)

 There were mistakes throughout the story that I managed to find. You ended up using the wrong kind of tenses (past and present) so it made it a bit difficult to understand whether the characters were talking about the past or present. It would be better for you to use more adjectives to better detail what was going on and allow the reader to create an image in their heads. The sentences were too abrupt and didn't sound well at all. Also, you didn't spell out several words. You didn't capitalize words that needed to be and you didn't space out words as well. 

Example:

"Hey sweetheart,why are u here today?," said Taeyeon who is smiled abit towards Jessica.

Rewritten:

"Hey sweetheart. Why are you here today?" Taeyeon said as she smiled at Jessica.

FLOW (8/15)

The story was too rushed and the ending felt too sudden. It didn't have enough detailed sentences that flowed together. More descriptions would have been better. I would suggest rewriting the story and showing how Jessica and Taeyeon met so their relationship would seem more believable.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (5/15)

The story was good considering the mistakes that I found. I wouldn't read it again if I came across it but nonetheless it was good. I would recommend to reread over your sentences and provide more details. 

APPEARANCE (5/5)

I love the poster! It definitely gave off the angsty feel and contributed to the atmosphere. I liked how the designer included clouds to create a sort of heavenly appearance. The use of doves/birds also allowed the reader to picture what Jessica and Taeyeon's heaven looked like.

Total Score:

(50/100)

Additional Comments:

Thank you for picking our shop to do your review. Don't forget to credit us as well. Also, my review is not intended to ridicule you or poke fun at all. It is just an honest review from my point of view. So please do not be affected by the review at all. Fighting!