chapter seven

Junjin liked to think that he possessed the temper of a saint. He was a soul with a magnificent sense of humor and an open heart to match. Everything could be viewed in a positive light if one just put in enough effort.

Yet something - something that he could not put his finger on - was getting on his last nerve today.

He was in the Liveworks' company café, gnawing so thoroughly on a piece of his baguette that he may as well have ordered it broken down in the blender - it would have saved him a good portion of his energy, which he then could have spent determining what on Earth was causing the scowl contorting his features.

The one thing he was sure of was that somehow, it was related to the events of that morning. That morning, when the door to Hyesung's apartment opened, and standing there before him was not Hyesung at all, but a man of disturbing unfamiliarity. Junjin recalled feeling mildly confused. He thought, perhaps he had gotten the wrong apartment number. But after a brief glance at the shining silver figures on the panel beside the doorway, he knew that he was in the right place. 

The stranger, he would soon learn, was called Eric. He was Hyesung's acquaintance. Yes, just an acquaintance. Nothing more; not even a friend. Such was how Junjin attempted to delude himself, which only inflamed his frustration. 

Junjin broke off another piece of baguette and crammed it into his mouth. Why was he bothered? He knew nothing about that guy. For all he knew, Eric could have been someone most worthy of being adored by all; that guy could have been a philanthropist, a monk, the reincarnation of the Buddha himself. Yet Junjin knew that none of that mattered. Simply put, he disliked Eric, and none of the reasons in the world could shift his view.

But what was it about him that was so unlikeable? Junjin narrowed his eyes, his upper lip twitching. Was it because he expected to complete Hyesung's album work with the singer, yet Hyesung handed in his final decisions after having made them with that Eric person instead? 

The bread gave way under his teeth. That was it. He wanted to have the most input in that album (aside from Hyesung himself, of course), especially since it would be one of the biggest comeback projects he was involved in. It annoyed him that someone else had intruded on that position.

That had to be it. He swallowed before shutting his eyes, inhaling through his nostrils until his lungs burned and strained against his ribcage.

That was it.

Right?

--

The benefit to working in a cubicle was the terrifying amount of privacy that one received. Unless one's boss marched on by, there was no stopping an employee from misbehaving. As such, Eric received the call on his cell phone without hesitation or paying mind to the fact that he was supposed to be filling out a "very important" report.

"Yurin?" he greeted, his voice slightly panicked. He knew why his sister was calling; he had not returned home the night before despite his promise, and did not have the opportunity to contact her that morning in fear of interrupting her classes. "Look, I'm sorry. I was -"

"-having a good ol' sleepover," Yurin said leisurely. Eric could hear her chewing - it was her lunchtime. He would have nagged her about the stomach-lurching sounds had he not been just about groveling for forgiveness. "No problem. Although I, too, find it very strange that my overprotective brother didn't even bother texting later to ensure his safety, I will be gracious and forgive him. You are forgiven."

Eric tapped his index finger on his mousepad, trying to flood out his guilt and anxiety through that one repetitive motion. "I'm sor-"

"Bro. Relax." The gentle chime of her laugh vibrated through the speaker. "I'm serious. For once, you went out and had fun of your own. It's about time. And it's not like I'm a toddler; I can take care of myself just fine."

"Says the girl who jaywalked and almost got hit by a car," Eric mumbled.

"Hey!"

"Anyways," Eric said, refraining from chuckling at the indignance in her voice. "I'll be back tonight. That's a promise."

Yurin did not immediately respond, evidently irked at his making fun of her. Eric could almost physically sense her irritation as it radiated from his phone. He smirked.

"You know what?" she said regally. "I won't pick a bone with you or anything. I've already decided that I'm going to be gracious today, and I'm going to keep my word. Not to mention, I would hate to be the type of sibling that doesn't support her brother when he's so madly in love that he -"

"Hey!" The tables had rapidly turned, wiping clean the triumph from his face and replacing it with a wide blush. 

"-gets his beloved drunk in order to have a sleepover," Yurin casually drove on. "After all, in this world, there's nothing more symbolic of where a relationship is going than spending the night at one another's places. Congratulations, Eric. You have, somehow, delved deep into the heart of your idol and found a space for yourself there. Hopefully that has less to do with him having a horrible alcohol tolerance and more with actual emotions. But alas, words cannot explain how happy I am for you. Oh, class's starting. Bye."

The line went dead before Eric could sputter back a retort. He gritted his teeth, uttering a string of profanity under his breath as he plunked his phone facedown on his desk and resumed tapping his finger. His neck felt warm and his ears felt as if they would detach from his head, they burned so much.

He did not need Yurin to remind him the implications of his stay. Even if nothing had happened in reality, it had been a rough night for Eric as he lay stiffly on Hyesung's couch, waiting for sleep that would come and go in undulating waves. He had spent hours on end awake, unsure of how to deal with having Hyesung sleeping right in the next room. It was not just some random person, but Hyesung. There was not anything that Eric could really do but lay there, brooding over the situation like a young girl -

He cleared his throat and jolted his head back and forth before training his focus back on the computer screen. Work. Work was an important thing, was it not?

Without consciously realizing it, his eyes drifted back toward his phone. He wondered if Hyesung was still hungover. It was around noon, so maybe he had recovered. But he had practically become composed of alcohol last night.

No. Hyesung was a grown man. He could take care of himself. Eric glanced back at the spreadsheet on his computer.

Within seconds, he was staring at his phone again. Should he text Hyesung and explain some more about why he had slept over? He was only able to give the briefest of explanations due to the arrival of that Junjin.

His fingers clenched around the edges of his phone. He liked nothing about that man and the animalistic hostility and possessiveness in his posture as he stepped into Hyesung's apartment. He and Hyesung were coworkers and obviously friendly with one another, so he could not have been a bad person.

But to Eric, he was a very bad person.

Eric sighed. He shoved his phone aside in order to better focus on actually earning his paycheck, but he knew that there would be no reports getting filled out today.

--

An unproductive several hours had passed when Eric finally left his workplace, his portfolio bag swung over his shoulder. Although he had done no impressive work, he was impressed with his ability to refrain from contacting Hyesung. Perhaps he was not as crazily obsessed with the singer as he had thought.

He had taken a single step out into the chill of the evening when the device in his coat pocket vibrated against his thigh. He fumbled his gloved hand into his pocket, removing his phone. The screen lit up a happy blue as it displayed Shin Hyesung across itself.

Eric frantically swiped at the green button until the call went through, blushing again. It's the cold, he told himself.

"Hello?" he breathed upon lifting the phone to his ear.

There was a brief pause on the other end, just long enough for Eric to doubt that Hyesung actually meant to call him. Then: "Eric. Hi."

Beside himself with unbridled glee, Eric stepped aside from the doorway. This was not the first time that Hyesung called him instead of the other way around, but the feathery sensation within his heart would have alerted anyone otherwise. "Hi. Are you...how are you?"

"Oh. I'm okay." Another pause. "Uh, I handed in the song list. Thanks for your help."

Eric kicked his foot along the pavement, the ridges in the cement clinging to the sole of his shoe. "No problem. It was fun. I got a sneak peek; what's not to like?"

The silence between them dragged out until Eric coughed, the dry air tickling his throat. "Well, what are you up to?" he remedied.

"Now? Nothing, really."

Hyesung was curt with his words, as usual. It did not necessarily bother Eric, since any conversation with Hyesung turned out to be a fruitful one, but today he had been...expecting more? Was he getting greedy?

Hyesung sighed. "Actually, I called to thank you."

"You did already. No -"

"No. Not for the album. Well, yes, for the album; but not just that." Silence. "You didn't have to stay last night to...to comfort me. I didn't mean to rely on you or anything. Not that you didn't make me feel better; you did, but I just feel bad for making you stay behind. And for watching over me when I got blackout drunk. I'm not usually -"

"Hyesung," Eric interrupted, his cheeks aching from the grin that had embraced him. "It's fine. I did it because I wanted to."

"Oh." Hyesung cleared his throat. "Thanks. Thanks anyway. I guess - I dunno - I guess I felt like I had to call. We didn't really have time to talk this morning, so..."

Eric exhaled, his breath becoming a drifting puff of white that dissipated as he watched. He wondered what kind of expression Hyesung was wearing right now. How he wondered.

"If you want to make it up to me, I have something in mind," he found himself saying.

"What's that?"

"Join my sister and I for dinner tonight."

"Huh?"

"Yurin was pretty surpr - no, she was shocked that I didn't go home last night," Eric stated. He itched the tip of his nose as it began to numb in the face of the wind. "I think it would help her understand if you came in person to explain to her that I wasn't doing anything suspicious. You know?"

"I see...okay."

Eric blinked. "Okay? Really?" Part of him still expected Hyesung to be too busy for spontaneous meals.

"Um, yeah. Sure."

Eric could not distinguish any special emotion from those short syllables, but they nevertheless made his muscles tense in anticipation. "Alright! Come over whenever!"

The cold was suddenly not so bothersome as Eric made his way to the subway station. In fact, warmth emanated from each of his pores until he felt like he was just about to burst.

--

"And here we have the night's main dish..."

Yurin carefully placed the pot down on the coffee table, placing her thin fingers on the lid's handle. She glanced back and forth between Hyesung and her brother, contently allowing their inquisitive gazes sink in as they sat crosslegged beside one another on the floor. After several seconds of unnecessary suspense, Eric's patience snapped and he tsked at her.

"What was that?" Yurin demanded, jabbing a finger at him. "Did you just give me attitude? Even after I took all this care to cook you two dinner?"

"You say dinner," Eric said carefully, "but this is the only thing you made. And knowing you, it's probably just a pot of ram-"

"Ta-da!" Yurin exclaimed, lifting the lid with a magnificent flourish of a motion. Her teeth glistened under the light as she grinned proudly. "Mun Yurin's Special House Noodles!"

The steam cleared and the two men leaned forward to gaze into the contents. Identifying what was within the vessel, Hyesung managed to maintain his composure while Eric snapped, "It's just a pot of ramen!"

Yurin chortled before saying, "Someone didn't come home because he was on a dat-"

"It looks great!" Eric hollered. Before Hyesung could even begin to wonder what Yurin was about to say, Eric had begun distributing the portions into the three bowls. Satisfied with gaining the upper hand, Yurin dropped into a sitting position on the other side of the table. Eric handed her and Hyesung their bowls before starting to stuff his face - a panic response.

"So, how was your night?" Yurin asked anyway, the question directed at Hyesung. Eric visibly shot her a warning glare as noodles dangled between his lips. She pretended she did not see it as she stirred her ramen in a dizzying spiral, less interested in the quality of her food than the chaos she was planning on wreaking.

"It was fine," Hyesung answered, drawing some noodles out of his bowl with his chopsticks. "I didn't do much today, so I kind of just chilled at home."

Yurin nodded in understanding. "That's nice. It's always good to have a break. But I meant last night."

Hyesung flinched - not in response to her clarification, but to the wheezing and hacking that befell Eric in that moment. Yurin's completion of her sentence had apparently posed a choking hazard to her poor brother. Hyesung instinctively moved his hands to help, but they ended up awkwardly hovering around Eric's shoulder since he did not actually know how to help.

"Are you okay?" Hyesung asked, concerned.

Eric held up a hand toward him that said hold on. He gave one, final, phlegmy cough before raising his head. The corners of his eyes were almost overflowing with moisture. "Yes," he answered hoarsely.

Once recovered, his pupils honed sharply onto his sister, who was busying herself with eating in order to contain her giggles. Hyesung observed the wordless but meaningful exchange between the siblings with nervous amusement.

"Last night," Hyesung stated in an attempt to revive the conversation. Both Eric and Yurin gazed up at him with matching, doe-eyed expressions. He suddenly felt that whatever he said next would be very important. The pressure loomed over him and he wondered whether he should continue.

"Uh. Last night was...interesting?"

His eyes flickered over to Eric. Had he said the correct thing? Nothing about the other man's visage gave anything away.

"Interesting," Yurin repeated. She adjusted her chopsticks between her fingers before leaning forward once more. "Alright, but I have to ask this. It's just weird to think about in the context of my brother, you know? Did he actually get you drunk?"

"What?" Hyesung uttered, alarmed.

"What," Eric hissed, offended and bristling.

"What?" Yurin responded to both of them, innocently blinking.

The trio let the quiet creep amongst them, each waiting for someone else to shoo it away. Hyesung could not bring himself to look at Eric in the duration of the absolute silence due to...was it embarrassment? 

"Alright," Yurin relented, relaxing her posture. She slurped a single noodle before saying, "I'm teasing. Sorry. It's a habit I picked up from Eric."

"Don't drag me into this, you brat," Eric protested, his eyes widening in disbelief. "I taught you none of that!"

"I had to learn it from somewhere," she muttered.

Hyesung watched the banter continue as he chowed down. There was something oddly pleasing about seeing this loudmouthed, no-filter side of Eric - he was always a jokester, but that aspect of him seemed to peak under the influence of his equally mischievous sister. Unbeknownst to himself, a smile began to glimmer in his own eyes.

"I made sure that he didn't crack his head open after drinking!" Eric was saying in aggravation. "Just ask him. Hyesung, didn't I -"

Upon turning his attention to Hyesung, his words faded on his tongue. The serene curvature of Hyesung's lips was entrancing in that singular moment, encircling Eric's wits and lulling them to sleep.

A couple of seconds passed before Hyesung realized that all eyes were on him. He jolted slightly as he returned to reality, his line of vision only briefly meeting Eric's before he hurriedly looked back down at his bowl.

"It's not Eric's fault," Hyesung babbled, his mouth abruptly burning from the spice of the meal. "I was going to drink no matter what. With him, I at least...I had a chaperone!"

Withdrawing from his temporary stupor, Eric triumphantly turned his chin up at Yurin. "From the man himself."

Yurin mockingly grimaced. "You sound so proud of being considered a chaperone," she told him pitifully, shaking her head.

Eric ignored her, for he was satisfied with Hyesung's answer. He dug into his ramen, which had been abandoned for so long during his debate with his sister that the noodles were swollen beyond recognition.

Hyesung observed Eric eat for a few seconds before fiddling with the ends of his chopsticks. In the morning, Hyesung's face would be puffed up from the unnatural substances in this cheap food. Taehak would surely lecture him for eating it, but not even an army of angry managers would have been able to stop him from spending time in this warm place.

--

"Thanks for coming," Eric said as Hyesung slid into his shoes, prepared to leave for the night. "Sorry that we only had ramen. And that I mostly just argued with my sister. And -"

"Eric, it's fine," Hyesung interrupted joyfully. "I...I had a good time."

After he tied his sneakers, Hyesung stood and looked up at Eric, who steadily stared at him. Unable to bear the straightforwardness of the gaze, Hyesung dropped his eyes to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck.

"If you need anything, call," Eric told him. The seriousness in his tone pricked at every memory Hyesung had of the night before - the camera, full of her pictures; how he had bared his heart again in front of Eric. It was not right in any manner - how much he had needed Eric.

"Seriously," Eric emphaiszed, seeing that Hyesung was not exactly responding. "I know I've said it before, but you celebrities have it rough. If you ever need to vent..."

Before Hyesung could think about it further, Eric reached into his own pocket and took out his wallet. He jammed his fingers into one of the crevices, withdrawing a worn business card that appeared to have never seen the light of day after leaving its printer.

"You can even visit me at work," he offered, extending his hand. The card was held firmly between his index and middle fingers; plain, white, and unassumingly benevolent. "I honestly don't do much at my job. You could disguise yourself and pay me a visit. And we could play hooky!" He beamed. "I've always wanted to play hooky."

Hyesung hesitated before reaching out and taking the card. It was one of the worst-designed things he had ever seen, with its bulky logo and Eric's name printed as if merely slapped onto it. The artist side of him was about to have an aneurysm just looking at it. But he carefully pocketed it anyway, his fingers curling around its edges as if to protect it.

Hyesung said, "I doubt I'll ever make you skip work, but..."

"You never know," Eric replied lightly, accompanying the words with a brief shrug.

Hyesung directed a smile downward before nodding and turning to the door. He opened it and stepped out into the cold. He did not budge for a moment before turning over his shoulder. "Bye," he said.

Eric waved. "See you later."

As the door closed, Hyesung remained right outside. He leaned against it, as if the heartiness from inside could transmit to his body in this way. The fall of the night meant that it was too frigid to him to be so carelessly not returning home.

He sighed before pushing himself away from the door, trudging back to his apartment under the guise of the darkness.

You never know.

-------author's notes

Wow guys. It has been...forever. LOL give me some life down in the comments if you're here!

I don't know what prompted me to write this. I haven't been very into fanfiction at all in the last few years. I happened to skim some of my old stuff for the heck of it (including this fic) and honestly, some of the writing made me cringe so hard that I just wanted to bury everything. 

But I guess with Shinhwa's 20th anniversary and whatnot, my desire to write came back in full glory. I always loved the concept of this story (and Letters to a Recruit), and I think it's the closest that I've come to my current writing style. And surprise! I was able to dig up my chapter plans for this baby. So guess where this chapter came from? Yeah, definitely not from memory ahahaha

I can't guarantee consistent updates, to be honest. I'm a college student and I'm trying to take off in my design career, which means I'm very busy. I do remember that fanfiction helped me destress; my favorite activity, writing, with little burden, so hopefully you'll see me around.

Oh. And sorry if you have to reread everything to remember what's going on LOL years of no updates. Sorry about that. I might be going back soon, just to make sure I don't make any plot holes by accident, and also fix up the HTML layout (and the poster tbh). But I hope you enjoyed <3