The alcohol swam in Baekhyun's eyes and Chanyeol couldn't help the loud laugh, pushing at the other's head with a finger.  It rolled away before bouncing back into its original spot.  Sehun threw a pillow at Baekhyun and he just took it, curling up around it.  Sehun fell off the couch laughing, dragging Minseok down with him.  Luhan was blinking down at them, probably wondering which one to save first or if he should go down to the floor too.  Chanyeol turned his head back towards Baekhyun whose head was rolling down and lurching dangerously.  A push at his shoulders and Baekhyun collapsed sideways on the couch with a hiccup.  "You're all so drunk.  I'll get you some water because I'm nice, super duper nice and get to be first in your will."  He presumed Baekhyun's grunt was agreement.

With a sigh, Chanyeol headed towards the kitchen.  He had a press conference for Laws of the Jungle tomorrow so he was a no go to the sudden drinking party some of the members had decided upon since they only had practice tomorrow.  He'd decided to stay up and be a part of the fun too, though limiting himself to only half a bottle of soju.  Stumbling over the kitchen threshold, Chanyeol wondered if that had been too much or if this was just his legs being naturally unable to step in the right order.  Chanyeol laughed yet again as he found Jongin, engrossed in reaching up on his tip toes, swerving dangerously to look over at Chanyeol, hand flailing wildly upwards towards the dishes.  

"You'll break something, let me get it!"  Reaching over Jongin's head, Chanyeol brought down the last glass on the shelf and held it out for Jongin.  Realization immediately struck -- he'd have to reach into the sink and clean up a glass for Baekhyun now.  Yuck!  It's been a while since the cleaner had come.

"Stop doing this."  

Looking down as he shut the cabinet door, Chanyeol realized he'd cornered Jongin against the kitchen counter, and Jongin had fixated his gaze intently upon him.  "Doing wha--?"

Words muffled and stayed in his throat as Jongin pressed soft desperate lips to his, and a mix of instinct and want took over and Chanyeol was kissing back, hand running through soft strands of hair, glass that was thankfully plastic clattering onto the counter.  He'd known maybe -somewhat- that he'd wanted this from Jongin, but not how much until he was whining as Jongin moved away, trying to follow flushed lips.  

"Making me like you.  So much."

Chanyeol stilled at the confession, then continued running his hand through Jongin's hair like a puppy.  His heart was beating so loud, and he wished he could do something about the frustrated folds of Jongin's brow.  "It's okay."

Jongin swallowed, lips parting and Chanyeol looked down at him.  "I feel sick."

"Ehhhh, don't throw up on me!"

---

The next day, way later after Jongin had thankfully passed out instead of throwing up and Chanyeol had to stuff him into bed, after a conference and half a day, Chanyeol tried to catch Jongin.  He reached out, yanking at Jongin's sleeve as they were the last to leave the practice room.  But Jongin just stared at him blankly and Chanyeol's smile couldn't help but wither away.  

He let Jongin go then, shaking his head, unsure how to proceed with telling Jongin 'it's okay if you like me, well it's not okay because we're guys and it's not acceptable and all that, but I like you too and we'll figure this out together'.  He had to think over things before he tried again. 

---

A photoshoot the next day, and Chanyeol didn't let the opportunity up to praise Jongin again.  He didn't miss the tightening around Jongin's eyes and the same frustrated press of lips, shying away and becoming quieter.  Chanyeol sighed, a dead weight settling into the pits of his stomach.  He'd originally meant to give Jongin courage and maybe make him notice him more, but not prove to be a hindrance.  What a shy kid that couldn't even be appreciated properly.  

He tried to catch Jongin's eyes afterwards, tell him without words that I won't be the one pressuring you anymore, don't worry, I'll wait til you come to me again instead.  The expression on Jongin's face stopped him cold in his tracks, too blank and not a speck of amusement on him.  

Was he making a mistake about everything?

---

Maybe Jongin needed more space.  For every inch he tried to move closer, Jongin was two inches away.  For every conversation they had, he felt himself trying to recreate what was effortless before.  The little things he didn't care about before suddenly became important.  The rejections that were jokes before began to sting now.  Chanyeol felt like he had ed something up.  I promise I won't feel that way about you anymore, I'll press it all down until it goes away, so stop being like this.

He decided to start with undoing the beginning.  Press up the smile, and pull away in front of the cameras, make it easier for Jongin.  And he was concentrating too much on smiling, he wasn't even sure what he was saying until the second question came, asking Lay what he liked most about Chanyeol.  It was pure relief when Lay just stepped up like the pro he was, soaking in the fanservice for what it was and keeping it up subtly on even afterwards.  Jongin should take a few lessons, he'd thought bitterly at some point.

It got easier as they went along, but it got just as painful.  He could undo almost everything he'd built up in public, but he couldn't seem to melt Jongin's defenses in private.  It got unbearable enough, and Yixing, too blank and sleepy to really pay attention to most of the group's dynamics most of the time, somehow seemed to get whatever Chanyeol couldn't get.  He had made Sehun switch rooms with Chanyeol once, twice, on the pretense of practice when they just played games or read manga quietly or Lay caught up on sleep.  He didn't ask questions Chanyeol couldn't answer, on how their resident happy virus could somehow stay quiet for so long nowadays.  Chanyeol put a label on it after a few weeks: heartbreak.  It seemed easier to make this a more permanent arrangement than deal with Jongin's weirdly hurt looks, and his own longing pangs each time he had to switch back.

---

A/N: I did start writing this the day I posted the previous chapter but I hadn't finished it then.  I haven't figured out yet if this is the ending or if there ought to be something to tie it up.  I'll keep thinking on it!