The first time Chanyeol had faced him, eyes too bright and devotion written all over it, Jongin had seriously thought he might puke.  His stomach had lurched, and he'd felt sick, something pounding in his chest.  It felt like indigestion, all that fried chicken taking its toll decades too early.  He'd classified it as weird--Chanyeol-pulled.  It wasn't the last time it happened.  After he got to hear a rap song on himself, he figured it was their new thing.  

 

It got a bit routine to hear Chanyeol praise him after that.  But it never got old.  Each time Chanyeol said it, it became a running joke that Jongin shot down his advances.  Chanyeol gave him a confession, Jongin abandons him when he has his back turned.  He gives him a shared birthday present from 7-11, Chanyeol buys him a sweet gift on his own birthday.  They played it up on screen, sometimes in private too with the gentle accompaniment of their members' ribibng and things stayed the same, more or less.  Chanyeol still ruffled his hair with the same care, Jongin still latched onto Chanyeol when sleep clung to his eyes.  Nothing suggested he'd done anything wrong even if Chanyeol's eyes lingered heavy and expectant on him, even if he took two steps back for every step forward, even if he refused to remember the soft press of lips against his that one drunken night, if he was supposed to have done anything differently. 

 

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

 

"Who in EXO are you a fan of?"

 

The MC asks the question with a quirk in her lips.  Everyone knows the answer to this now.  Jongin even feels the flush of heat crawling up his cheeks before Chanyeol even moves his mouth.  Even he expects it to be him.  A testament to how much and how long Chanyeol had drilled that message in.  

 

Only know you love her when you let her go

 

"Lay hyung!"  And Lay blinks slowly, confusion causing lines to form on his forehead.  There's a drop dead moment of stillness as everyone held their breaths.  Jongin stares at Chanyeol at his right.  And Chanyeol doesn't look at him, face turned towards the side, facing the MC and Lay.  Jongin just catches the tail end of the cuve of those lips.  

 

"Hyung works so hard, and he's really skilled.  He can pull off impressions, dances so well, plays the piano, sings, plays basketball, there's really too much to list.  He's also naturally cute."  His voice is excited, like nothing is off.  And Jongin's breath is coming out short.  Lay lets out a laugh, chuckling cutely as he bats slow eyes at Chanyeol.  And Jongin joins in on the laughter that slowly spreads, keeping up the image for the cameras.  

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

 

The tide quickly turns after that.  The cameras no longer pan in on him and Chanyeol, but on Lay and Chanyeol's high fives before Two Moons begins.  They're casted on shows together more and Jongin realizes he's being shifted aside quietly in public.  Now he has to join in on the general jokes about Chanyeol and Lay, act like Chanyeol was fickle to abandon him when in reality it hurts like a brand and praise Lay because everything Chanyeol's saying about him is true and goddamnit Lay deserves the limelight for sure but Jongin wants to yank him away, away, away from Chanyeol.

 

The public creeps into the private when Chanyeol switches rooms to stay with Lay.  Because they get a song together, Chanyeol's deep voice dancing with Lay's airy melody and need to practice it more.  Jongin doesn't say anything, gets more accustomed to Sehun in his space instead.  And he wonders if he got caught up in a delusion of his own making, or if karma had come knocking.  

 

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go