“Let’s break up.”

Those three heartless left his mouth. Kai’s eyes widen when he realized what he just said.

“Wait… No. ..Min… I didn’t mean that-”

Too late.

Min looked at him. Pain and hurt was shown in her eyes. Min did not see this coming although Kai had been weird these few days. She thought they could still get back together. Min thought that if she apologize, he won’t be mad. Min wanted to believe that he didn’t mean it. But again, if you didn’t thought of it, it wouldn’t spill out.

Kai had been thinking of breaking up. She knows it.

“If- if that’s what you want, oppa... I hate you.”

Min said the last three words softly with hatred before leaving the room. But it was loud enough for him to hear. Without any last glance at the boy she used to love, the door slammed shut and footsteps faded away.

 “N-no. M-mina. Lis-ten to m-e. Don’t lea-ve.”

That moment is like the world just split into two, just like how his heart is doing. His knees weaken and Kai dropped to the floor.

It’s too late, Jongin-ah. There’s no turning back now. You said the magic words~

The devil’s voice rang in his head. Kai holds onto his head which was aching and groaned in pain.

“Don’t. Please don’t.”

Kai stumbled as tears rolled down his cheeks. He stayed on the floor for god knows how long. Never in his life time had he felt this depressed. It’s just one mistake and yet it took everything that he once owned away.

His girlfriend.

His love ones.

And…

His happiness.

One mistake. One night. One sentence changed everything.

“No. Don’t.”

Kai mumbled softly, slowly drifting off to sleep. On the cold solid floor of misery.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “I hate you.”

“I hate you.”

No. Min-ah! Don’t!

Kai woke up as sweat drips down his forehead to his chin. His breathing was heavy. He was panting hard. The cold wind from the opened window made it worst. He shivered and sighed knowing that it’s all a dream. A dream after the reality.

Why?

It’s been a year since the day they broke up. Kai still couldn’t let her go. He dreams about her every night, every day, and every second. The last word of hers still lingers in his head now and then.

“Get over it. Will ya?”

Kai was constant reminded by his friends. They hated to see him lifeless, restless and worst soulless. But did he listen? Technically no. It’s not that he didn’t want to. His heart is just too weak to accept it. Kai wanted to believe that there’s miracle. There’s still a chance for them to be together. There must be a way.

Kai sat on his bed, staring at the full moon shining brightly in the middle of dark sky, alone. He used to say that he’s the moon and Min’s the star. The bright shining stars who Jongin believes were smiling down at him. It’s beautiful. Just like Min.

“Oppa. Isn’t the stars pretty?”

Kai and Min were stargazing in an open field at night. Today is their first year anniversary and Kai planned on making it memorable. Knowing that his girlfriend loves the stars, he planned this event to make her happy.

Kai had his arms tightly wrapped around Min and his head resting on her shoulder. Instead of looking at the stars like how Min was doing, Kai was staring at something even prettier.  

Kai had his eyes on Min throughout the whole time and it’s weird that Min didn’t realize that. He had probably drilled holes into the innocent girl’s skull if he continued.  His eyes showed affection, and love. All Kai could see is Min, Min and only Min. It’s like the whole world only rotates around the two of them. And only the two of them.

“You’re prettier.”

Kai accidentally blurted out without realizing. Min looks at the boy beside her and was somehow startled that he had his eyes on her instead of the stars. She gave him a look but smiled. Kai smiled his goofy grin before slowly tilting his head to his left a little to kiss Min’s neck.

“You know, you’re cheesier nowadays. Spent too much time with Xiumin, huh?”

Kai gave her a smirk and laid his back on the grass, before gently tugging Min’s hand to his side. Min smiled at him and lay next to him, with Kai’s arms around her petite frame. Min had her eyes on the stars once again, waiting for Kai’s answer.

“Maybe…”

“Don’t get to close with that brother of mine. I don’t want another Minseok in my life.”

Min said playfully, mentally predicting the look her brother would have if he heard what she said. Kai chuckled and shook his head, amused. While he did that, Min could feel the ticklish light vibration, sending shivers down her neck. The two of them stayed that way until Min spoke up pointing at a particular star next to the moon.

“Oppa, see the star there?”

“The star will be me, and you would be the moon. I would always be the star next to your moon, okay?”

“Who’s the one getting cheesy now, huh?”

Kai , earning himself a slap on his arm. He tickles Min as a revenge which the girl squealed at the contact. Kai stopped and whispered into Min before breaking into a smile.

“Promise me that you won’t leave me because the moon would be nothing without the stars.”

“Promise.”

The two of them stared into each other’s eyes and sealed their promise with a passionate kiss.

“Why? Why me? Why us?”

Unknowingly, a tear rolled down his cheeks, wetting the item he held tightly in his palm, not letting go. He had it with him when he sleeps, to remind him of her. The only thing that she left behind for him. The only thing that had been keeping him alive until now. It’s not like he’s going to commit suicide or something but with a shattered heart, he couldn’t focus or think straight. You can call him a living corpse if you want.

The necklace.

“Oppa… Like at that!”

Min said pointing at the necklace hanging around a mannequin at the display section. Min had an ice cream in hand when she pointed at the necklace as she watched in awe. It’s an infinity shaped pendant necklace with a star diamond in the middle.

If it’s anybody else, they would have thought it’s simple but to Min, an infinity sign meant forever, eternity love and the star represents her. Min loves stars more than anything in the world, well, including Kai of course.  If there’s a moon, it would be so much better.

 “Oppa?”

Min turns around but she no longer see Kai. But instead, she caught him walking into the shop. Min followed suit into the shop and saw him talking to the owner of the shop. He pointed at the necklace at the display glass and they exchanged a few words that Min couldn’t quite hear. Min gave him a questioning look which the latter sheepishly smiled.

 “…Oppa?”

Min saw the girl walking back to them, holding a small tray before setting it down on the table. She hands the necklace Kai was asking for and turns to Min who stares at the necklace, doubtfully. Kai gave her an assuring smile before gently clasping it around her neck. He spins her around playfully and had a good look at her before nodding.

“We’re taking this.”

 “Thank you. Please make your purchase at the counter over there.”

The girl smiled at the two of them before leaving them.

“Kai? Are you sure about this?”

“Why not?”

“It’s too valuable. ”

“It’s nothing as long as it’s for you.”

Kai said tapping the tip of Min’s nose playfully. Min had the happiest grin on when she embraced him in a hug, before leaning in for a peck on his cheeks which caused Kai to blush in a cute way.

“Thank you. Thank you so much!”

The necklace. The gift that Kai bought for Min two years ago. The necklace that Min had on every day, not going anywhere without it. Min loved Kai. She really did. It hurts her more when Kai asked for a break up after snapping at her without a reason.

Although it had been a year, Kai never stop wondering how life would be if he didn’t say those words. Would the two of them be married, having their own mini versions? Would they?

Those questions would always remain unanswered. Time machine does not exist. There’s no way he could still fix things right. There’s just no way.

Is this how it feels when your loves one leave?

Is this how a guy should feel after a breakup?

Is it normal for the guy to still love the girl even after he asked for a breakup?

Is it?

Kai didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

“Kai, enough.”

“I say ENOUGH!”

Kyungsoo shouted prying the soju out of Kai’s hand. He glanced at the now drunk boy, still gulping down the bottle of soju as if it’s water. He sighed at the younger one.

“Wake up! She’s not coming back! Kai!”

The said boy gave his hyung a look before ignoring him again. Kyungsoo knows that the truth hurts a lot but he rather him to know the truth than to bury himself in lies and fantasy. It hurts the older one to see him like this. It’s so unlike Kai.

The boy who used to jokes and fools around in the group is now nothing like he used to. The now Kai only drinks, drinks and drinks. It hurts Kyungsoo a lot, being Kai’s friend.

It’s been a year. Why couldn’t the boy just get over it? Kyungsoo knows that Kai knows better that Min wouldn’t come back. She left. She even left Minseok alone.

In this situation, he didn’t know who’s right or wrong. He didn’t understand and he isn’t in a position to ask for more. Why would Kai be hurting like this if he was the one asking for a break up? Why did he even let those words spill? Why? Kyungsoo wanted to know why.

“Kyungsoo hyung! Let’s drink together.”

Kai’s face is now red and he could barely stand. His vision is a blur. To him, it’s like the world is spinning in circles. The next thing he knows, he throws up. Kyungsoo sighed and patted the boy’s back soothing him.

“You’re going to suffer a major hangover tomorrow.”

He sat back up wobbly, holding onto the table for support and stares at the ceiling before asking Kyungsoo.

“W-hy did s-he leave? I- I cou-ld have ex-plain.”

Kai mumbled punching the couch. The other boy stood up and went to the kitchen, bringing back a towel and a bucket of water. After laying the latter down on the couch, he puts the towel over his forehead, taking the seat next to the drunken boy. He sighed and pats Kai’s shoulder.

“What’s the past will remain the past. Kai, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“No. Why? Of so many people out there, why did she choose him?”

“Because she knows that he would love her more than she loved him.”

Okay, before any of you says you felt hanging because you couldn't understand or what not, I'm telling you that, I thought so too. :P

To readers that subsrcibed, I'm sorry if this disappoints you. i've may up a point that my writing skills is bad. Like bad bad. .-.

I wrote this three times and the first two times failed because my computer commited suicide when I'm almost done with it. The story was gone and the plot slightly changed. You will never know how I feel. It's like I want to split the world into two of something. Sighhhhs.

But, I did enjoy writing the stargazing part. :D

Epilogue, anyone? [I can't promise it's good either because I'm under depression .-.]