He cleaned the tears from his face and look at his hands which were lying on the table. “Shimhye…you- you can’t marry Jongin”

I sighed in annoyance, he’s drunk and I bet all these is because of how young I am to get married “Dad, I already told you I’m old enough to get ma-“ he cut me off.

“That’s not the reason baby” he looked at me with a hard expression all over his face.

I furrowed my eyebrows “Then…wh- why?” he made me nervous “Wait, that’s why you were fighting with Jongin’s mom, right?”

He closed his eyes and nodded, another tear scaped from his eyes as his hands started to tremble “J- Jongin…he, he is your b- brother” he started to sob really hard again.

“What the hell?!” I yelled really mad “Damn it dad! You make me this worried just to come up with this just because you’re too drunk and don’t want me to get married!! I didn’t think you were capable of telling such a big lie just because you’re too selfish to let me get married!”

He shook his head “N- no Shimhye, it- it’s not like that…I wish this was a lie but it- it isn’t” he covered his face with his hands and when he took them off he looked at me straight in the eye. “I might be drunk, but I’m pretty sure of what I’m saying…look, before your mom and I had you I used to travel a lot for work and…and in Busan, there I met this beautiful young woman, she was the girlfriend of  an important businessman from there, she was the sister of a close friend of mine and we used to hang out since she had to show me around busan and…and we just- we didn’t know what we were doing, we got drunk and ended up in a hotel room…”

I closed my eyes, I just listened since I couldn’t speak a word.

“Months later I received a call from her telling me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine…I- I didn’t be- believed it at first but then she told me she hadn’t slept with nobody else but me, I- I got scared and never contacted her again” he laid his head on the table “I’m so sorry…I’m a coward, I know but…”

I closed my eyes again to let tears fall from my eyes, my hands were trembling, I still couldn’t speak. I just couldn’t believe what I just heard.

“I’m sorry for not saying it before…but not even your mom knows about this…Shimhye, you have to break your engagement” he lastly said and went to take another bottle of alcohol.

I stood up and made my way out of the house, I just walked, my mind was blank, I couldn’t think. I walked for about two hours straight and stopped when I saw a lake and sat on the grass watching the green looking water. Right there I broke down, my father’s words repeating inside of my head; how in the world could that be possible? Of all guys, it had to be Jongin. I heard my own cries since the place was away from any human being so there was no other sound than my cries.

My chest was hurting a lot, so much that I put my hands there instinctively, It was so much to handle, the man I loved, my one and only love, he was my brother, it didn’t make any sense in my head, but in my heart it was so painful, I sobbed so much that my throat was hurting too, I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like my heart was going to kill me for so much pain.

After a lot of crying I calmed down a little, my heart was still hurting and there were tears still falling but I was quiet; I looked around the still dark place and realized that I was at the lake where my grandfather used to take me when I was a child, we used to go thee every weekend and he would make me stories while I listened very carefully each one of them and sometimes he used to talk to me about Korean beliefs.

I remembered that in a December cold afternoon he took me there and talked about a Korean belief. It was about a Princess who fell in love with a Prince from their enemy kingdom, they used to meet every night in secret, until one night, when her father accidentally read in her diary and found out about her secret lover. Her father ordered the guards to catch the Prince when he and his daughter met that night, the guards caught the Prince and the Princess and did as ordered, both of them were taken towards the King where he ordered to kill the Prince; the Princess begged the King to forgive the Prince and let him go but he didn’t listen to her and took his own sword instead, and there he stabbed the Prince right in front of his daughter. The Princess believed in miracles, but she believed that miracles were only possible in December, so every December she used to wish for a different miracle, that December after several months of the death of her beloved Prince she wished for a miracle, to have her Prince back to life, then, right in front of her eyes her so desired wish came true, her Prince came back to life. Since then, they say that you can ask for a miracle every December and it will come true if you desire it with all your heart.

I chuckled at the memory of my grandpa telling me that story; it was my favorite so I used to ask him to repeat it many times and sometimes I used to ask for miracles in December that never came true, but I still believed in them.

I looked up to the sky and sighed, the sun had already raised. I didn’t want to go home and face reality so I just stayed there.

“I haven’t wished for a miracle this December” I said to myself still looking at the blue sky. I sighed and laid on the grass breathing in the cold air “I know it’s impossible…but I wish-“

“Shimhye!!!” I heard voices yell in the distance, I stood up and saw a human shape on the sky, it was Kris, they were probably looking for me everywhere but I wasn’t ready to go back home just yet so I walked towards a tree but it was too late, he saw me.

“Shinhye!” he yelled and landed right in front of me looking up and down on me looking for scars or something then he looked straight into my eyes “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked with widened eyes.

I just sighed and shook my head, I didn’t have any physical injures but my heart was shattered into pieces and it hurt.

Once we got home everyone came to me but I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room, I didn’t want to talk to anybody because I was afraid. I don’t even know what I was afraid of, I guess afraid of reality, I don’t really know.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Jongin say as he sat beside me. I had forgotten about his power and he’s the last person I needed to see in that moment. I didn’t answer.

“Babe, please tell me…did somebody do something to you?” he asked again and I just shook my head as an answer, my tears were threatening to fall. I stood up and made my way out but he grabbed my arm before I could go any further.

“You’re not getting out of here before you tell me what’s happening” he pulled me close to him and cupped my face looking straight into my eyes.

I gulped and forced some words out of my mouth “I- I want to break up” I said looking at his eyes, still holding my tears.

“You’re not serious, are you?” he asked biting his bottom lip. I didn’t answer, if I did I would broke down right there and he wouldn’t leave.

“You are” he said taking his hands off my face “Can’t you at least give me an explanation?” he asked, I could see his eyes getting teary.

I sighed and looked down closing my eyes “I- I don’t want to m- marry you” those were the most painful words I had ever said to somebody and also the biggest lie. In that moment I hated myself and kept fighting the tears. I lied because I didn’t want him to know something so horrible like we were siblings and I know it was selfish from me but I believed it was for the best.

He sighed “Then let’s not! I can wait until you’re ready”

I shook my head “Please, leave”

“Shimhye, you can’t do this to me, not after all these years” a tear rolled down his cheeks, it stabbed me and made me hate myself even more.

I grabbed strength from I don’t know where and looked straight into his eyes with a hard expression “Jongin, leave, now” but he didn’t move an inch “Don’t you understand?!! Leave!! NOW!” I yelled.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Jongin asked, his face expression was stiff. I nodded afraid if I spoke the tears I had been holding fell down.

 "Okay then...I guess this is it" he said and turned around.

 He disappeared; he went back where he belonged, where I never should've taken him away from.

 "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry" I sobbed as I saw him disappear "I love you but we can't be together...I'm so selfish"

I guess Jongin told everyone since after he left they all came knocking my door. I was tired, depressed, I hated myself, without Jongin by my side I was nothing. I wanted to get out of there but I couldn’t get out by the door since everyone was there so I decided to escape by the window, after that I took a van and drove off. It was dark at night when I decided to stop in front of a dancing studio. I needed to dance to take out of me all the pain.

Hours later I went to a park that was close to the studio and sat there to take a breath, breath that I lost once I started sobbing calling his name. How could I feel better when it was Jongin the only one who could make me feel that way?

Then, I remembered that it was Christmas Eve, we had planned to give our presents that night as my family traditionally did every year in the church but it was all ruined, I looked up to the sky still shedding tears uncontrollably “Why? God…why us?” I sobbed so hard that I was suffocating “Please, give me a miracle” there, I remembered that I was about to ask for my wish when Kris found me.

“I wish he c- could return to m- my side, I want that miracle this December” I held my hands on my chest as I was gasping for air “P- please God! I beg you!! Wh- who am I without him? I’m nothing!” I cried.

Suddenly I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket, it was mom and I decided to pick up since I didn’t want her to worry about me.

“Hey mom!” I said while cleaning the tears from my face, I hadn’t realized how much my head hurt until that moment.

“Shimhye! Darling! Where are you?”  she asked.

“I’m okay mom, don’t worry” I said.

I heard her sigh “We have to talk, your father told me everything and this is misunderstanding honey, come back so we can talk”

Could it be possible? Suddenly hope rose inside of me, if all these were a misunderstanding as she said then it meant I could be back with Jongin. I drove off and went back home. When I entered I found mom and dad sitting in the living room, the other van wasn’t outside so I guessed the guys were going back to Busan too.

I sat in front of both of my parents and waited for them to speak, their heads were hanging low until mom started speaking “Jongin is not your brother” mom said; yeah, that’s how straight forward she was. She held both of my hands “Shimhye, th- this is not your biological father” if possible, my heart sunk when I heard that but didn’t say anything.

“I knew about what your father did in Busan but I never told him about it, instead I cheated on him like he did to me…I know it was wrong but I had to make him feel  the way he made me feel. But then I got pregnant but didn’t tell him either because I was ashamed of what I had done…” I could see pain spread all over her face and my father just kept looking down.

“We’re sorry our mistakes have come to ruin your beautiful relationship with Jongin and we’re sorry we didn’t tell you about this before…” my father stated.

Once I had understood everything I decided to speak “Jongin has to know about this…and, mom, this man is my one and only father, I don’t need any other. I just wish Jongin would understand this like me, trust me, I reacted this way because I can’t think about anything else than getting Jongin back, I don’t care about anything else, I can ignore all this if that would bring him back to me-” mom cut me off.

“He already knows” she chuckled pitifully “And he reacted just like you…he’s been looking for you everywhere, as you, for him his only father is Mr. Kim who’s resting in peace” she said.

“Wait, he didn’t go back to Busan?” I asked surprised.

“He said he was about to leave when we called him” said mom but I was sure he had gone right to Busan after what I told him, his power is such an advantage for him.

Dad grabbed my hands from mom’s “We told him to wait for you in the church with the guys for the presents giving, we knew we were going to find you, so now go and get pretty, we’re going there now” he smiled.

I stood up and before going I turned back to them“Mom, dad…I forgive you for all these things, if you’re still together after that is because you truly love each other and that’s all that matters to me, I don’t care about the past anymore” I kissed both of their cheeks and headed to my room.

A grin appeared on my face when I looked at myself in the mirror, I did my best with my makeup and hair, I wore a dress Jongin had given me on my birthday under my black coat, I also wore a black hat and black hose with my back heels. I looked pretty, I was sure he was going to like how I looked.

Mom and dad took me to the church; when they parked I got out of the car and saw 12 figures in front of the church holding different gift bags on their hands.  One of the 12 figures was sitting on a bench wearing a red coat, I could recognize him even with my eyes closed.

I ran towards him and as soon as he saw me he stood up and we hugged. I cried on his shoulder with my arms around his neck and I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

“I’m so sorry for being so selfish! I should’ve told you” I said with my face buried in his chest.

“Shh…don’t be silly baby, we’re together now, that’s all that matters” I felt one of his hands caressing my hair.

I sighed and pulled a bit away from the hug to kiss his lips, this kiss was different from others, and it was so warm and soft, gentle... When we kissed I felt like I was back where I belonged, with my one and only love, Kim Jongin. We pulled away from the kiss and stared at each other’s eyes, then he grabbed the gift box that was lying on the bench, it had small holes on the sides and I opened it to find the cutest puppy I had ever seen, I grabbed it in my hands and held it under my coat so it didn’t get cold. I looked up to Jongin and he leaned down to kiss me again, when our lips brushed I started to feel the snowflakes falling all over us and we pulled away to stare at the snowy sky.

“You’re welcome!” We heard Xiumin yell from our back just to let us know he was the responsible of the snow.

We laughed and everyone came close to us and celebrate. After the celebration, Jongin and I went out of the church with our little Kai (it’s how I called the puppy) still being held in my coat.

“This is a miracle” I said while looking at the still snowy sky.

“A miracle?” Jongin asked looking at me “I thought you didn’t believe in that anymore”

I nodded “I wished for a miracle this December that came true, I just had to wish with all the strength of my heart”

“What did you wish for?” he was curious since any miracle I asked for came true the years before this one.

“For you to come back to me” I looked at him “You’re my miracle this December” I smiled.

He pecked my lips and smiled “I love you”

“I love you too” I said and we shared another loving kiss.

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I'm not sure if this is a good one hehe, so leave a comment and let me know what you think, please don't be hard on me since I'm still a beginner in this.