MISTAKE

Who’d have thought that I, Choi Minho am soon going to be a husband and God! also to be a dad in this freaking young age of 18 years old. You must be wondering who is my lovely bride, right? Yes talking about her, I myself don’t know why but my facial expression suddenly indicating pleasure of amusement place all over around corner on my face. She’s such a very innocent baby girl, sweet, cute, white milky skin, splendid in appearance. Her advantages and almost there’s no disadvantages, all of those I've marked them as her fascinating charm that have power of its ability to grab my attention and soul without I realize it. She is very lovely angel who makes me so crazy about her. She is so flawless in my eyes.

Her name is Choi Jinri and prefers to be calling Sulli, she’s only 17 years old and poor my girl, I got her pregnant with my baby in this pure young age. But I couldn’t deny that these 3 years, being having her as my girlfriend, there's have no days that I forget about her sweet scent along with her beautiful voice which come out from her sinful and kissable pinky lips. And I swear I’ll never ever get tedious of her, of course absolutely won’t in my eternity.

Finally we had been upgraded our relationship into a root of a family. Since we have got married, never ever have a day that we don’t stay beside each other’s company, I everyday cuddling her in my arm even in days and nights. I really like to hug her closer in my body and love the way she always buried herself in my embrace. Even sometimes we were struggling with our baby inside her womb but still I will find a way to embrace them both in my long arm as always.

“Oppa!!!” There’s again she called me, I really admitted that my heartbeat was beating like crazy against my chest whenever I heard her sweet voice calling me like that.

“Hmm.” Without saying anything, I knew, she knew that what we actually wanted. She needed my warm embrace; I quickly placed my body beside her and enveloped her in my arm again.

“I love you.” There she said. Every time we adjusted our position like that she’ll murmured this sweetest word to me before she drove herself to her own dream land but before that I also replied her back with the same word along with my sweet kiss on her forehead.

“I love you too, babe and so much.” She then tightened her hug around my waist, I swear there has no other moments that I feel so much content like this to being having my wife in my embrace.

After 5 months since we got married, my baby boy Yoogeun finally was born, he's now can find his own ways to see this world with his parent. For me I still couldn’t believe myself that I and Sulli finally become a parent in this young ages. He’s really gorgeous, I’m so much happy that his existence from now on is going to stay beside us as our son forever. But at the same time in our family there’s increase one more person, my responsibility over them is very necessary and it also became heavier. So in charge of the breadwinner, I’m the one who need to work outside as my wife she needs to take care of Yoogeun and of course to be a housewife at the same time.

Everything at first was so perfect and fine after many years of Yoogeun was born. But who’d have thought that the trouble little by little started to show up in my family.

I couldn’t find the reason why and when I felt that, Sulli and I started to have a distance between us. Less talking, less our intimacy especially the feeling of romantic like I used to have, it slowly faded from times to times till I no longer felt that anymore.

As days by days I started to feel so boring and weary of whenever I stepped my foot inside the house. Even if my wife smiled so widely at me or sometime she hugged me when I came back from work. But I really felt that I no longer got so addicted in those gestures or those touch anymore.

One day a group of my co-workers invited me for the drink at the pub, I agreed with them. I remembered that night it was the first night that I got home so late. I even knew that Sulli tried to contact me many many times but when I saw her ID name popped up on my phone screen, my mind quickly got so annoying. But to me surprise, Yuri in the name as my co-worker witness that scene so she immediately smirked at me and before I knew it she quickly grabbed my phone and turned it off in front of my eyes. I didn’t know why but I found that flirty attitude of her was so attractive even she’s older than me, but I found that’s not a matter for me at all. I was even aware that most of times at the company she tried to seduce me in every ways even she was learning that I’m a married man already. And before I knew it I was already fell into her charm without I, myself could react and stop it.

Since that day we really became closer and closer as that time I finally found myself and realized it that I had no more leftover feeling for Sulli anymore. I didn’t know since when did it happened but still I admitted that I really out of love with her already. Only Yuri who is I had a feeling for.

Ever since I and Yuri got in the secret relationship; she many times forced me to divorce my wife as soon as possible. At first I was hesitating but when I got myself falling deeper and deeper in love with Yuri, eventually I agreed with her with all my heavy heart.

From the day when I decided it, whenever I arrived home, the guilt secretly wrapped around my body when I saw my wife and my innocent Yoogeun. More or less I could feel that she actually sensed about my changing already but she didn't speak it out. Most of the night I heard she was weeping, it made me felt more and more guilty. At that moment I wish I could envelop her in my arm as like we used to do in the past, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do so. Divorce divorce divorce…..This word again and over again always echoed inside my mind nonstop, even Yuri nagged me all the time about it. And I also thought many times that I should tell Sulli about it but I really couldn’t bring myself to do so whenever I was staring into her eyes, it has shown only the pain and hurt that I knew it clearly that I was the only one who cause all of these.

“Minho!! How much longer that you’re waiting for?” There again Yuri nagged about the divorce.

“In these short times how can you suppose me to say that to her. I can’t say it straightforward after I’m the one who is at fault. If I do that it’s like I kill her alive, and also my son, Yuri! He’s still innocent. I need more times, can’t you understand me Yuri?” I said to her a bit shouting but she just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Times? Doesn’t it still the same even if you tell her today or tomorrow?” She stood up and looked down at me who sat on the couch. “Choose it Minho! ME or HER who you love for NOW?” After finished that she was walking away from me like that, I just shut my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair in frustrated.

One day I came home early, my intention was to tell her about the divorce. I decided to tell her in today and I swear, it was the difficult decision ever that I had made. That day we three were eating dinner together, well.....it was the first time after months that we ate together. My 6 years old son always giggling and speaking nonstop seeing me having times for both of them, I smiled bitterly to him if he only knew that his parent actually have the problem, he’d be never happy like this for sure.

“Yoogeun-ah, stopped talking and palli finish your rice.” I glanced at Sulli who was talking to Yoogeun. There was no trace that she was smiling, not at all. I guess she could feel something wrong about my presence in this dinner already. So I didn’t want to take any longer as I started to speak.

“Son! Are you done eating? If you’re done, just go to your room and do your homework. Okay?” I smiley said to Yoogeun that still pout about her mom reprimanded him earlier. At the same time I saw Sulli staring blankly to me, those eyes full of hurt and unbearable pain I didn’t know why when I saw it my heart felt so arch. She was hurt, she must be hurt a lot.

“Ne Appa.” When I saw Yoogeun was closing the door behind him. I started to look at Sulli again and spoke, my heart really beating so fast, really in hasty pace and somehow it was so hurt at the same time.

“Sulli, I-”

“I’m tired. If you’re done eating, just leave it here. I’ll clean it later.” She cut me off and stood up about to walked away but I grabbed her hand from behind her. However she still needed to face it, face our problem.

“I’ve got something to tell you.” She quickly released my grip from hers.

“Didn’t you hear it, I said I’m tired.” Even if she didn’t face me but I still knew that she was sobbing, her voice was crack. But I needed to say this even if it hurt her. I’m really sorry Ssul.

“Ssul, I-”

“STOP!!!! Don’t you have any idea that Yoogeun is at home now. I don’t want him to witness their parent arguing, you get it?” She said but almost shouting made me startled and glued at my place. Her tears already escaped from her eyes, and looked like there no way to stop it either. She then walked away from me and went inside our bedroom.

Yes! She was right, Yoogeun will hurt if he knows that what’re we talking about. However he’s still a kid. Then I just sat back at my chair and faced palm to think about my life, how I ended up screwing my own family. At that moment I saw her bowl on the dining table, she didn’t eat at all, the rice were full inside her bowl still the same amount when she served the table, she couldn’t eat because of me, her useless husband. I quickly closed my eyes, guilty again spread around my body.

The few days later I decided to talk to her again. Yoogeun has already gone to school. So I think this is the time for me to end this thing now. There she was, sitting down on the couch while hugging her both legs and staring blankly onto the floor. So I made my way toward her while holding a white envelope in my hand.

It was our divorce paper.

“Ssul.” I called her but she didn’t look up at me at all, so I continued. “I want tell you about something.” This time she looked up at me, God!! The both of her eyes were crimson red and so swollen. Her stare got me out of tongue. I hurt her that much, so much.

“Why?” She asked me calmly but her voice so trembling.

“Sorry Ssul. I’m really sorry.” Only sorry could escape from my mouth while I looked back into her eyes that full of hurt and pain.

“I asked you why, Minho!” She stood up and sternly faced me.

“I-I and Yuri, we-”

She cut me off. “I asked you ‘Why’ Minho, not ‘Who’, Why can’t you answer me?” She made me so shock, because now she was shouting at me with her trembly voice while her tears flooding down from her eyes nonstop. “Am I not that good to you comparing to that woman? What does she has that I don’t have? That’s why you’re cheating on me. Or all these 7 years while we’re together, I’ve done something wrong to you?” She shouted while crying loudly in front of me.

“No Ssul you’re done nothing. It’s me who is such a bastard, a jerk, a damn husband to you.” She listened to me and said nothing only sound of her loud crying.

And then her gaze turned to an envelope in my hand. She chuckled, mixed up with her still crying when she snatched it from me and raised it up.

“You even prepared this?” She then stepped backward from me and shook her head. “I really couldn’t believe how you did that, have you ever thought about Yoogeun for once, Minho? Don’t you care about his future? You’re his dad……You’re his dad for a goddamn sake, Minho.” She still shouted at me, I knew her rage was still there. My tongue was stuck, no single words came from my own mouth, and all I did was just shaking my head. But suddenly Sulli tore envelop which contained with divorce paper into pieces in front of me.

“Ssul!!!”

“I tell you Minho, don’t ever imagine that I’ll sign it and get divorce with you. NO.” She no more shouting but still her voice was so quivering. “I can’t do it. I really can’t, Minho.”

After that she walked away from me toward our room. But before she turned the doorknob, she stopped her foots, I knew she tried to purse her lips in order to control her streaming tears, and…say something to me.

“I-I w-want to ask you, Oppa!!......I really don’t know what-…what happened to us now after these 10 years that we are in love with each other, but……but now a-are you s-still loving me? Or…..or am I too late to realize it by myself?” Her voice was so soft like a whisper.

“Sulli! I’m very sorry, so-”

“But I still do. I still love you so much and forever, Oppa.”

After she finished that she then went inside the room and left me drowned in extrem guilt. I dropped my body on the couch and clenched my fists hardly, before I knew it tears already escaped from my eyes. I tried to wipe it away, one after another, another after another until I got so tried to wipe it and left it flew by its own.

Since that day whenever I came back home from work or from the daytimes that I spent with Yuri, I always found her sat on the couch silently without the light on, even she was aware with my presence but still she sat down there by herself till the midnight came. So I always was the one who went straight to sleep first inside our bedroom.

At first I didn’t notice why she did that at all. But later I just realized that actually she was waiting for me every night, waiting for her betrayal husband back home. Not only that, even if she knew that I came home already but she waited until the midnight or I could say until I fell asleep first, she just then entered the room. I was just aware that she didn’t want me to heard her weeping. She was crying every night until she got tired and fell asleep. But I knew, she was so barely to get some sleeps since she was weeping until the crack of dawn. I admitted I really want to hug her in my arm and shushed all of her pain away, but really! I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I didn’t want her to have any fault hope and misunderstand from my deed.

My heart was really arched and hurt at the same time when I heard her cried or saw her in this painful situation. Because of me, her unfaithful husband caused her became  this miserable.

Sorry Ssul, I’m really sorry.

The breakfast came as a usual.

“Umma! What’s wrong with your eyes? Did you cry?” Yoogeun asked innocently when Sulli served his breakfast in front of him on the dining table. I was stunned while eating my breakfast, when I looked at Yoogeun I saw his gaze was on his Mom in worried eyes as my eyes suddenly made its own way to Sulli either. There she was, just forced a best smile to our son in assurance and shook her head.

“Ani baby, Umma just didn’t get enough sleep last night. That’s why my eyes were become like this.”

“Oh really? I thought you cried.” His face lightens up. “But please don’t cry Umma. I don’t want to see you sad; I only want to see your smile and only bright smile.” He was giggling. “Because your smile is very beautiful, and it’s the best thing that I want to see every day.” He said loudly while raising his spoon up in the air. I smiled at his cute gesturing and adorable speech. He’s only 6 years old but the ability of the way he speaks along with his adorable movement never fail to make me and Sulli smiling and laughing about it. “Do you also love Umma’s smiling, Appa?” Yoogeun suddenly gazing toward me and asked in excited tone. I then jerked my heard toward Sulli, her eyes smile suddenly placed with gloomy expression again.

“Choi Yoogeun!! Stop talking Okay? Just eat your breakfast or else you’ll be late for school today.” Sulli quickly reprimanded him before I was able to answer my question.

Actually my answer is ‘Yes’, I still love the way she smiles. Like my son said her smile’s so beautiful, not just only that but so sweet at the same time, anyway I really couldn’t deny it that I also still want to see her smile every day.

“Minho! Can we talk?” Sulli called me when I was about to enter our rooms and about to change for work. Yes this was the first time that she talked to me since she had known about my request of our divorce. I agreed and followed her to the living room. We sat down on the couch while facing each other. That time I really couldn’t read her though. But sadness still clearly enveloped on her pale face especially in her eyes. Again, her eyes became crimson red; she pursed her lips and trying to control her tears, I knew. My heart started to arch again.

“If that what you really want, I’ll do it....….for you. I shouldn't keep on holding you back, knowing that .... I'm no longer have place in your heart.” She said calmly and smiled bitterly. "I lost to it someone else. How pathetic I am?!"

“Ssul!” I looked at her surprisingly and uttered her name softly. I knew what this conversation was leading to.

“I’ll give you free life, Minho.” She finally looked up into my eyes. Her tears already escaped from her swollen eyes, I witnessed her tried to wipe it away but eventually she just let it streaming without care for it, because even if she tried to fixed but those tears still escaped and flew down from her eyes.

“Don’t force yourself, Ssul. If it hurt you I-”

“Isn’t it what you want? Or you suddenly realize your mistake and want to your word back?” She snapped at me. But it actually really what I want, but still I couldn’t say anything to her aside from hung my head down guiltily.

“Okay I understand. And I don’t need anything from you. But I want custody of Yoogeun.” She said and I nodded with my heavy heart, after all Yoogeun is also my son. “But still one more.” She paused and looked at me. “I want one month from you, only one last month before you leave.”

I knew it was so hard for her that tried to move on that’s why I agreed with her last request.

She asked me did I still remember the way I embraced her in my arm every night and days when she carried Yoogeun. She wanted me to recall that moment for her, she needed me to embrace her for every night in this whole month.

The first night of the month finally comes. I walked out from the bathroom after I finished refresh myself but Sulli out of nowhere to be found. I thought maybe she was still outside the room. I closed my eyes as I remembered our deal. I heaved a heavy sigh before I decided to go to bed first since Sulli wasn’t in the room yet.

I laid my body with the heavy heart I carried. Then I used my arm to place on my forehead and floating myself so deep in my wild thinking. But because of my tired body of working the whole day I then closed my eyes to sleep, suddenly I was a bit surprise when I felt an arm was wrapping around my body. I quickly opened my eyes and found my wife was beside me while she hugged me so tight.

“Oppa! Can you??” She asked while looking at me in despair. I knew she wanted me to embrace her in my arm right now. But I didn’t know why, I then quickly looked away from her gaze, it also hurt me to see her in that extreme pain. But somehow I couldn’t find myself to do that as easy as we used to before. It was kind of awkward, since months or I should say years that we no longer have this intimate skinship. I really couldn’t believe myself, she has been my wife for 7 years, and how did I appear this cruel feeling toward her? But when I imagined the picture of us together in the past suddenly the urge of hugging her back appeared. I quickly adjust myself and let her used my forearm for her head while my both arm was wrapping her in my embrace. She also tightened her arm around my waist, didn’t know why but I found my body was so warm with her touch so soft and natural.

“Thank you.” She said almost whispered. I then remembered our past in 7 years ago, now the word ‘I love you’ which she used to say to me every night, it was replaced by ‘Thank you’ instead. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips, not too long I also replied her.

“I’m sorry and……thank you.” Finished my words in a few second after, I felt my shirt was wet, oh God! At that time I knew she was crying again. At that moment I quickly also tightened the hug and patted lightly on her back trying to shush her pain away. But did I have a right to do that since I was the one who cause that unbearable pain? I hurt her so much, no too much.

Tonight was the day 15 that I and Sulli recalled our past memories together. Only 15 days left for us or I should say for her. I didn’t know why but somewhere in my heart felt so upset when that day finally was near to come. I found myself so longing to her and to our intimacy whenever we were pulled away from the hug every morning. The day we rarely talk to each other though, even if we conversed but that only related to our son, Yoogeun. Not even our personal affair. But when the night came, she always found her way into my embrace as I stretched out my warm body to envelop her in my arm. I sometime cursed the times under my breath, why did the time was flying so fast? Not too many days left, she and I will be become a stranger. Our path of the three of us used to walk together for these 7 years is going to break away.

Since she decided to give me a divorce, I often asked myself again and again with the same questions, ‘Am I happy? And is this the way that I really want? The way that I’m such a selfish person who cruelly breaking this family apart in my own hand?’ I don’t know, I really couldn’t find the answers of it at all. From night to night my feeling became worst and worst.

But from times to times many questions that I couldn’t find its answers, little by little it became clearer to me. I found myself afraid of losing something, something that very important in my life. Really, I wasn’t happy, never at all. Finally I found that back, I found my feeling back after got lost for many years. Eventually she’s still the one and only the one that I've ever loved the most in my life. But I screwed it up; I dumped her so cruel and hurt her too much. She is my wife and only one, Choi Jinri.

Tonight it was the last night that we spent together. My heart hurt like hell when knowing that I still love my wife and so much. She stills the one for me after these 10 years, and no one else will be able to replace her in my heart forever even Yuri. That night I hugged her so tight because I was really afraid that she’d left me alone at this moment. But at that time I just realized one thing that broke my heart into pieces, she was so skinny after time to time that we spent in each other companion. I didn’t know when that my tears started to escaped from my eyes, I caressed her back softly as my shoulder were shaking because of I tried to purse my lips in order to controlled my tears from flowing. I felt she stirred in my embrace, I looked down at her with my tears still formed obviously in my eyes and some were on my cheeks. A pair of the beautiful eyes also stared back intently into mine.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Sulli asked me in husky voice, I knew she also about to cry at that moment. I shook my head before answered her.

“Sorry Sulli, I’m really sorry.” I said still looking at her. Finally she let her tears flew down from her eyes. I lifted my right hand to cup her cheek and wiped her tears away. She held my hand and shook her head.

“No!! I-” Before she had chance to talk I suddenly took the small distance between us and captured her lips against mine. She was taken aback at first but later she started to respond my kiss. She and I were still crying in between our kiss. Only God knew that the tears we spilled were come from for same reason. And that reason is, I love her and she loves me too…….so much, we know that we don’t ever want to apart from each other.

Our kiss were so gentle at first but seconds later it became more passionate when I adjusted myself on top of her as now she was under beneath me. Sulli was wrapping her hand around my neck as my hand were her both temples to wipe her tears away.

God! This feeling, finally it came back to me again, why I just realized it now? After I made my wife was so much in despair. I then pulled away from our kiss, I didn’t want to do that but I needed to do so. Because I have a lot of words that I wanted to say to her.

“Ssul babe, I’m really sorry for making you to receive all these so much distress. I’m really sorry.” She looked at me into my eyes, her tears still flowing nonstop also me. I used my hand to dry hers before I continued. “I know I’m such a jerk, a selfish bastard, disloyal husband to you. I thought our married life was so boring that’s why I didn’t even bother to treasure this happiness I have, didn’t value every detail in our lives, and so I ended up screw this married life by my own hand. But you know what……at the same time I just realized one thing and two persons that very most important in my life….…….and finally I woke up.” I paused as my tears were streaming down. Sulli reached her arm from my neck and used that hand to wipe my tears away.

“Just don’t say it, if it’s difficult. I understand, I can understand Minho.” She said but made me shook my head abruptly. I needed to say this to her no matter what.

“It’s none other than our married life……YOU, my wife and Yoogeun, our son.” I smiled at her along with my tears. “I still love you, Sulli. I love you so much.” I halted but then said again. “Can we start all over again? Can you…......Can you give me another chance………..the last chance for me to compensate and responsible for you both again in my life? Please.........Please don’t ever leave me for the rest of our life, hmm???” Sulli didn’t say anything because the tears were streaming down nonstop from her swollen eyes, and I knew the tears of us were representing of our happiness in that moment and no one can describe of our heavenly feeling right now beside us two. Instead of saying anything, my beloved wife nodded her head abruptly and smiling back to me.

“Thank you. Thank you so much babe. I love you and only you I love so much for the rest of my life, Choi Jinri.” I said.

“I love you too Minho and so much. Thank you for coming back to us. Welcome back my husband, Choi Minho.”I then kiss her again and so passionate continued our sweet moment together from the where we stopped due to my sincere confession to her just earlier.

Eventually I just realized myself that all of these along, it’s only my wife, Choi Jinri is in my heart, dearly loved person in my life. I was fooling around at that time because in our life being beside each other, even if we were shared the same bed but the problem was came from the small thing that we were neglected and it was none other than ‘distance of our intimacy’. I found our life lacked intimacy that we used to share in the past. But from time to time when I and Sulli recalled our sweet moment from the past years back, finally the feeling that I thought it was faded away already, it little by little appeared again from deeper inside my heart.

Finally my wife, she came back into my arm again after the disaster we faced. I considered this experience as a very big mistake that I had ever done in my life, and I also promise myself especially my dearest wife with all my heart that I’ll never ever slump my body into the same mistake again, absolutely won’t. From now on even a little thing to the very big things, I need and promise to do it with all of my heart for her in order to build our intimacy more even stronger. And I know that it is really the happiness and only one that I need to treasure for the rest of my life.

Choi Sulli and Choi Yoogeun are Choi Minho’s beloved family forever and ever.

The end.

Hello!!! The End of this oneshot, how was it? Acutally there were some parts in this story that I borrowed   from one of the true story that I used to read before, but anyway I still had a hard time to write it because most of all came out from my own idea.

Really hope that you guys didn't get bored. Sorry again about my English and any mistakes that I've made in this story. And I must admit that I'm not good at description at all, sorry.

Anyway thank so much for reading, subscribing, upvoting and also thank for your comments, I'm really appreciate it. Thank you so much guys :D

I love you all.........