“Good morning! Would you like to try the newest addition to our menu? It’s super hot and super delicious, a perfect start for a perfect day.”

“How many times have you repeated that line?” I asked amusedly.

Chanyeol’s lips spread into a grin, and he made a show of tapping his chin and looking thoughtful. “Twenty, thirty times today? I think thirty.” His hair bounced as he nodded.

I smiled. “Sure, I’d love some.”

He moved with lightning speed towards the preparation counter, almost knocking down Kyungsoo who just managed to save himself from scalding his skin by stretching his arm far out of Chanyeol’s reach. I heard the whirs of the machines and wandered off towards the display, the sound more comforting now than it was frightening. Chanyeol re-emerged a few minutes later while I was peering at the muffins that the cafe never seemed to run out of.

“Which one would you like?” he asked. I saw him peering at me from the other side of the display and laughed.

“None. I was just looking.”

He pouted. “Aw, come on. There must be at least one flavour that you like. Is it chocolate? Blueberry? I love blueberry.” A wide grin accompanied the statement.

“Banana,” I told him, accepting the cup and rummaging through my purse for the change. I held it out to him, but he didn’t take it.

“I think I can box one up for you, on the house.” He nodded, more to himself than to me, and made a move towards the display.

“No, wait!” I panicked, and quickly reached across the counter to grab his arm. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do that.”

“But I want to.” Again with the puppy pout. Goodness, one day, I wasn’t going to do so a good a job at keeping my resolve.

“You’ll get into trouble,” I said, shaking my head.                    

“They’ll just take it out of my salary. No big deal.”

I frowned. “It is a big deal.”

“No it’s not. Think of it as a snack that I paid for you.”

I tried my very best not to blush. “You don’t have to. I have the money.”

Chanyeol frowned, but then, he surprised me by leaning over the counter, so close, that our faces were just inches from each other. “If you insist to pay, then I don’t want it in money.” His eyes were mesmerising up close, much deeper than I could have imagined, swirling like the currents of a river. “Why were you crying that day?”

I jerked back, drawn out of my trance. Chanyeol just gazed at me, frowning, his hand still clutching the cup that he refused to give me. I didn’t make the mistake of looking into his eyes again as I gently prised it out of his grip. “Thank you, I’m sure this will be delicious.” I muttered, replacing it with the money I owed him, and leaving before he could call me back.

The week after, I was swamped with assignments. Truthfully, I was partly thankful for it, for they kept from thinking about Chanyeol’s question –and also the colour and depth of his eyes. Eunmi didn’t ask why I suddenly threw myself into my work; she just made herself busy with hers, and occasionally offered to make me a cup of coffee when she saw me slumped on the dining table. The cats somehow understood that I didn’t want to be disturbed and even the hamsters seemed to have an instinct for it and had taken to napping rather than running the wheel.

However, regardless how hard I worked to keep myself busy in the day, it still didn’t stop the dreams when I was unconscious. I still saw Sehun’s smile, the light in his eyes and the translucence of his skin. Sometimes, I could feel his hand in mine, rough and calloused and tender where he had scraped it with his racquet. It still ended the same way though: through harsh parting words and the sudden loss of his warmth in my hand –and the image of him walking away, far, far away with another girl by his side. She glanced back, and I saw Jaehee’s lips contort into an evil sneer, and then –

Morning came and I woke up.

I buried my head in my pillows and sobbed, aware that Eunmi had set a glass of water on my bedside table and a small handkerchief by my bed.

Once the dreams began taking its toll on me –draining my energy, my will –I decided that it was time I venture out and see what the town had for me in the early morning. Classes were cancelled for the day since it was a holiday, and I figured that Eunmi would forgive me for not helping her prepare breakfast if I stopped by a restaurant to get her lunch. So, as quietly as I could, I crept out of bed and grabbed my towel, tugging my hair into a messy bun as I stepped into the shower.

I dressed in simple clothes: a plain dress that I had for ages, and an old pair of sandals that my mother had bought me two years ago on my birthday. I grabbed my keys and wallet along with a spare muffin on the counter, and then set out for my journey.

The bus ride was much more peaceful in the wee hours of the morning, and I was able to lean back and listen to the wheels rumbling against the road as we chugged off towards the town station. It was almost empty in here, the only occupants being an old lady with a shopping bag set by her feet, an old man snoozing next to the window, and myself.

When I got off, I was surprised at how little activity there was when everyone was asleep. Shops were closed; signs swung lazily in the morning drafts, creaking at the hinges but somehow still able to hold their position. The sidewalks were empty save for old ladies setting up their stalls, few of which smiling nicely to me when I walked past.

I paused and leaned against a lamppost. I knew where my feet were taking me, but I wasn’t inclined on showing up there so early. Most of the boys had taken to giving knowing looks at me, and once, Kyungsoo even paused while counting his coins to call and have Chanyeol serve me. I decided not to think about it though, and always pushed back any notions I had over their strange behaviour to keep my feelings from being more messed up than they already were.

I glanced around. There weren’t any other cafes that were open, so I figured that my best bet was to wait out at the park until the town had regained some of its life. It wasn’t such a bad idea really; the park had a lovely pond which was teeming with wild ducks.

Assured, I set off towards my destination, recalling the route by memory as I made my way around the empty streets. I had been to the park quite often when it was my first year here, but my visits had been scarce the following year because I had too much to manage in my hands. Now, I thought it would be a nice change; perhaps I could even see the sun rise.

When I reached the town park, I nodded to the security guard at the gate and made my way towards the pond. I glanced around the empty benches, choosing one nearest to the foot walk, and settled to watch the water rippling underneath the slowly rising sun. Fishes darted below the water surface, sending waves that bobbed past vibrant water lilies and flat lily pads. It dissolved into still calmness when it reached a particular forest of blooming lilies, and silver bodies gleamed as the fishes slowly rose towards the surface.

My heart shuddered with the wind that blew past me.

I was playing with my ring; the silver ring that Sehun once gave me, slipping it into my finger while promising to wear its twin in his. I had kept my ring despite all odds, kept it through our fights, and I still had it now despite that he was no longer mine. Sehun must have shed his sometime within the week of our breakup, but some force kept me slipping it out of my finger. I didn’t know to what extent was my love for Sehun, but obviously, I cared for him deeply –more than I ever realised.

“Hana?” a voice called, its tone familiar even though it was soft. “Hana, is that you?”

I turned, and saw Chanyeol propped on his bike, gazing at me cautiously. He broke into a smile when he saw that he had the right person. “Good morning!”

I couldn’t help returning the smile. “Good morning.” I stared at the bike, and then at the carrier bag he had strapped behind him. “Third job, I suppose?”

Chanyeol laughed, and made to hop off his bike. “Not really. This was more of a favour actually. The newspaper boy was sick and he asked me to do his rounds for him. I just finished.” He propped the bike on its stand and made his way towards me. “What are you doing here?”

I covered my hand with the other to hide the ring. “Nothing much.”

Chanyeol’s eyes darted towards my hands. “You were deep in thought.”

I decided that it wasn’t worth all the trouble and uncovered my hand. “I was.”

Chanyeol eyed the ring. I knew it was gleaming from the light of the slowly rising sun, but it was something that I couldn’t help it from doing. He looked at the ring as how he always he stared at it when I accidentally let my guard down: expressionless, thoughtful, with hooded eyes that did a surprisingly good job at hiding his thoughts.

“It’s pretty,” he finally commented. Despite that he started out towards empty seat beside me, he didn’t sit.

“It’s nothing,” I mumbled, tugging it out of my finger.

“You’ll lose it if you keep taking it out,” he commented, but made no move to stop me when I stood.

“It already is,” I said, and then angled my arm back and threw it into the pond. Circular waves rippled outwards from where it landed.

When I turned, Chanyeol’s eyes were sympathetic. I found it odd that a boy who blurted out his thoughts could understand other’s coveted feelings so well. “I’m sorry I asked that day.”

I smiled ruefully and shook my head. “I should have told you when you did.”

My legs were heavy as I made my way towards the bench and sat down. My finger felt light now, and strangely cold. There was a thin, lighter coloured band where the ring had once been. I heard the sound of shuffling feet.

“Can I sit?” he asked.

I nodded. My throat was too constricted for me to say anything.

“He’s an idiot for doing this to you.”

I couldn’t keep up the brave front. The tears leaked, and before I knew it, I was crying.

Chanyeol’s eyes widened and he shifted to look at me, hands hovering over my shoulders in panic. “You idiot,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head like a wet dog. “You just can’t keep your big mouth shut, can you? Now look what you did!” He finally took a deep breath and said, “Are you okay? Would you like a moment alone? I can leave.”

“No,” I sniffed, shaking my head in between sobs. “I’d like you stay.”

He still gazed at me beseechingly, unsure what to do. “I don’t have a handkerchief to dry your tears. Do –do you want a hug instead?”

His hesitancy almost made me smile. “That would be very nice.”

Slowly, he folded his arms around me, pulling me close to him so that my head rested on his shoulder. He rested his hand at the back of head, cradling it while I sobbed into his shirt.

“I’ve never hugged a girl before. I’m doing this right, aren’t I?”

I buried my head deeper into his shoulder. “Yes, you’re doing it just fine,” I said, just as a fresh wave of tears flowed.

He began to slowly my hair, the movement calm and reassuring. “Shh, it’s alright. You haven’t lost anything that you can’t replace.” His words were all a gentle murmur.

I just cried until there were no tears left.

“Hana, there’s something for you on the counter.”

I glanced up, having just gone through the door when Eunmi poked her head in from our room. Her hair was tugged back into a ponytail, long and swinging, brushing just below her neck. She wore her glasses as how she usually did when we were at home, and as usual, her army trailed her wherever she went.

“Really? What is it?” I asked, setting my bag down on the floor as I undid my sneakers. Lectures had droned on long and tiring this afternoon, and I had just returned from a study session at the library with a classmate. I picked up my shoes and set them on the rack, and then dragged my bag on the floor as I walked, too tired to lift it.

“A boy came by and asked me to give it to you,” she said, not exactly answering my question. “He said he didn’t know which one you’d like at the moment, but you can choose whichever one you want.”

My brows furrowed and I quickened my pace to the kitchen. “Whichever one I want? What does he –”

I paused in my tracks, and stared at the two cups that stood harmlessly at the counter. Its label was turned out, and the silver hexagon gleamed underneath the kitchen lights. Eunmi sauntered in after me, trying to contain her giggles when she saw my expression.

“No wonder you like EXO so much,” she commented, grinning. “They do home deliveries too.”

I cradled my cup with both hands, my feet tucked underneath me as I watched the TV screen flicker with passing scenes. The drama that Eunmi had tuned into was one of the romance dramas that she loved to watch, starring a whole cast of good-looking boys and an irrational plot that would never take place in real life. I usually watched to humour her, but occasionally, some of those dramas were good, and worth the hour and a half of my time.

Now though, I couldn’t really pay attention to any of them. Out of the two that Chanyeol delivered, I had chosen the caramel mocha, and out of courtesy, had given Eunmi the caramel latte. She appeared contented with the taste, sipping it once in a while and not paying the slightest heed to my fidgeting behind her.

I had no idea why the sight of the cup had sent my heart racing by several miles. The day Chanyeol saw me cry –the day I consciously let anyone see me cry –had long passed, and I had gone on with my life as how I usually lived it. I tried not to think too deeply about the moment at the park, Chanyeol’s hesitation and then his solid determination to offer comfort to me, and how, for a while, I felt that everything was okay, that my world wasn’t crumbling and he was there to protect me. Chanyeol gave me the strength that Sehun took, a new path when the old one had crumbled.

He made me forget Sehun, but brought forth in me a new fear as well. When someone healed the scars of your old love, what did that make him in your new life?