❀The Grandmaster by illumina_dain
bi a n d ca shop || graphics❀review || BUSY | NOT ACCEPTING REQUEST
TITLE : THE GRANDMASTER
AUTHOR : ILLUMINA_DAIN | REVIEWER : SUMMERSCENTS
TITLE 5/5
HONESTLY, THE TITLE SEEMED ODD, YET INTRIGUING AS WELL WHEN I FIRST TAKE A LOOK AT IT. PRETTY MUCH RELATABLE TO THE STORY IN THE MEANTIME.
ORIGINALITY 4/5
HONESTLY, ATHOUGH I'VE SEEN SOMETHING SIMILAR BEFORE, THE STORY'S INTERPRETAION IS QUITE DIFFERENT SO, I'M GIVING YOU A 4.
DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD 4/5
I MUST SAY, I PRETTY MUCH GOT ITRIGUED AT THE DESCRIPTION, HEHE. THOUGH THE OVER USE OF "EVERYDAY" SEEMED TO HAVE MADE IT A BIT LESS ENTICING.
GRAMMAR, SPELLING & PUNCTUATION 13/15
I HAVE NO SAY REGARDING THROUGH SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION. REALLY, SINCE I SEE NO ERRORS WHATSOEVER, NO MISSPELLED WORDS SPOTTED, USE OF PUNCTUATION NOT ABUSED. THOUGH THE GRAMMAR IS WHAT MADE ME DEDUCT 2 POINTS. I KNOW THAT ENGLISH ISN'T YOUR FISRT LANGUAGE, BUT YEAH, SOME BASIC ERRORS SPOTTED. THOUGH NOT TO BIG, JUST MINOR ERRORS BUT I'VE SEEN THEM IN ALL OF THE CHAPTERS. SO I SUGGEST THAT YOU GO RE-READ EVERY CHAPTER, SPOT THOS MISTAKES AND FIX THEM. OR YOU GET A BETA READER TO FIX THOSE ERRORS SINCE IT SEEMS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME IN YOUR HANDS, NO?
VOCABULARY 4/5
I SEE NO FAULT WHATSOEVER ON YOUR VOCABULARY, AND CHOICE OF WORDS. THOUGH IN SOME SCENES, YOU COULD'VE USED DIFFERENT WORDS THAN USUAL, NO? WORK ON THAT IF YOU CAN.
CHARACTERIZATION 4/5
YEAH, THE CATEGORY IS PRETTY MUCH EXPLAINED, RIGHT? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO ARGUE ABOUT THE WAY THE FOUR WERE POTRAYED. THEIR CHARACTERS SEEMED A BIT BORING (MAYBE BECAUSE THE REAL ACTION HASN'T EVEN BEGUN, IDK), AND ON ANOTHER POINT, IF YOU WROTE SOME SCENES KIND OF LIKE EXPLAINING THE CHARACTER'S ATTITUDE, I'D ACTUALLY GIVE THIS A 4, NOT A 4. SOMEHOW THE WAY YOU TOLD HOW THEIR CHARACTERISTICS WERE WAS LIKE TELLING ME THE FOUR DON'T HAVE ATTITUDES.
FLOW 8/10
THE COHERENCY OF THE CHAPTERS PRETTY MUCH OKAY. YOU DIDN'T JUMP TOO QUICKLY FROM ONE SCENE TO ANOTHER. THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IS YOUR USAGE OF TENSES. IT WAS CLEARLY OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE USING PAST TENSE FOR THE WHOLE STORY ON THE FIRST SENTENCE, BUT AS SOON AS I CARRIED ON, I'VE NOTICED THAT YOU CHANGED TENSES FREQUENTLY, MORE LIKE IN EACH PARAGRAPH. TAKE NOTE, YOU SHOULD ONLY STICK TO ONE TENSE WHEN WRITING A STORY, THOUGH IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO USE IT ALL THE TIME, THE COMMONLY USED TENSE FOR WRITERS IS PAST TENSE (CAUSE COME ON, USING FUTURE TENSE IS PRETTY AWKWARD AND WEIRD, YOU'D HAVE TO BE AWESOME WITH A GOOD SENSE OF WRITING TO PULL IT OFF. AND PRESENT TENSE IS ALWAYS USED FOR EITHER 1ST AND 2ND PERSON, AND 3RD PERSON'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I SEE EVERYWHERE), BUT WHAT I'VE SEEN IN SOME PARAGRAPHS WERE TURNING INTO PRESENT, HEHE. WORK ON THAT TOO IF YOU CAN.
PLOT 9/10
AS I'VE SAID, I'VE SEEN SOMETHING SIMILAR BEFORE, THOUGH THE INTERPRETATION'S QUITE DIFFERENT. HONESTLY, YOU DID A GOOD JOB IN THIS PLOT. REALLY INTERESTING, I LOOK FORWARD TO HOW IT CONTINUES ON.
ENJOYMENT 10/10
I PERSONALLY ENJOYED YOUR STORY, THOUGH I WAS A BIT SAD IT WASN'T YOU (DML) HEHEHE. HONESTLY, WHEN I LOOKED AT MY FRIEND'S POSTS AND SAW THAT AD ABOUT THIS, I WAS QUITE HAPPYTO HAVE FOUND SUCH A FIC., SINCE I PRETTY MUCH GET RARELY INTERESTED WITH FANTASY (THOUGH IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITES), THOUGH I DECIDE TO READ LATER ON WHEN I HAVE A LOT OF TIME UNTIL I WAS NOTIFIED TO MAKE A REVIEW ON THIS DID I ONLY READ IT, HEHE.
OVERALL SCORE 8/10
DON'T TAKE SOME OF MY WORDS TO HEART IF SOME ARE OFFENDING :d
ILLUMINA_DAIN
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SUMMERSCENTS
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