Again. He’s in my bed again. Why can’t he just sleep in his own bed? This bed is too small for the both of us and it’s always too hot when he’s next to me. Maybe I can get away and go sleep in his bed for the night. Jongup thought but as he tried to leave the bed Himchan wrapped his arms around his midsection and pulled him closer to him. Jongup let out a soft sigh, not wanting to wake the older, so he settled back down in the bed hoping the other would get up and leave soon.

Jongup noticed that Himchan had been weird around him lately. He would watch him after he got out of the shower and then there were all those comments he made about him when they were doing interviews. Jongup didn’t understand why his hyung was acting this way, but what he did know was that it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t like all of the touches or stares that he received from the older man but he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t want to say anything just in case it was all in his head but he also really hated when the other crawled into bed with him, like he had done tonight. I’ll just talk to him tomorrow to put my mind at ease. I don’t think hyung goes…that way, but it would be best if I was certain. Jongup thought as he wiggled his way out of Himchan’s arms and tried his best to go back to sleep.

            In the morning, Jongup woke up happily to an empty bed. When he left his room he saw the other members up and about, eating breakfast and showering for their day. They all had the day off and Jongup thought today would be the best day to talk to Himchan. He was going to do it when everyone else left so that they could have some privacy but he soon noticed that Himchan wasn’t in the dorm.

            “Hyung, where’s Himchan?” Jongup asked Yongguk, who was currently eating breakfast.

            “He went out early. He said that he had some errands to run. Why?”

            “Ah no reason.” Jongup figured that he could just text Himchan and that’s what he did.

To Himchan:

            Hey hyung, if you have time can we meet at the coffee near our dorm around noon?

            Jongup reread the message over and over before pressing send. It took less than five minutes for him to get a reply

From Himchan:

            Sure. I’ll be there at 12!

            Jongup let out a small sigh as he read the text and tried to think of what he was going to say to Himchan when he saw him. All he knew for sure was that he had to make sure the other understood that he felt uncomfortable with everything that he was doing to him.

            It was 11:55 and Jongup saw Himchan walk into the coffee shop and sit down. He was nervous. He knew what he wanted to say to him but he was scared that it might ruin their friendship. Jongup had become so lost in his thoughts that he soon realize it was 12:05 and he was late. He hurried into the coffee shop and saw that Himchan had already ordered a cup of coffee as he sat and waited for him. He was slightly out of breath, maybe it was more out of nervousness though because he knew he was in great shape, as he sat down in front of Himchan.

"I’m sorry I’m late hyung. There was traffic."

"It’s no problem Jonguppie. Do you want to order a cup of coffee or…"

"No, I’m fine for right now. Actually hyung, I called you out here today to talk to you about something," Jongup said, his eyes turning somewhat serious. He could see the look in Himchan’s eyes that looked like infatuation but he was really hoping that he was wrong.

"Sure, what is it?" Himchan asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I’ve been noticing that you’ve been acting different around me hyung," Jongup started out and he could tell that Himchan was slowly starting to become nervous. That let him know that he had hit the mark on his assumption.

"You’ve been staring and touching me more than usual and then you sometimes slip into my bed at night, but slip out in the morning before you think I’m awake," Jongup continued.

"And well I don’t know how to say this but…are you gay hyung? I mean it’s no big deal if you are but I’m not and I would really appreciate it if you would stop being so intimate with me if you are.”

Jongup saw Himchan’s eyes falter, he saw his eyes start to glisten and he felt bad. He now knew for sure of Himchan’s feelings towards him and he also knew that he had probably just broken his heart in that very moment. Then something happened that broke his heart even more, Himchan laughed. That was his normal defense mechanism when something bad happened to him. When people talked about his looks, saying that he was unattractive, when people made fun of his English, all those times he would just laugh to try and cover up his pain. It was somewhat rare for the members to see a real laugh come from Himchan and now Jongup hated the fact that he was the cause for one of those fake laughs.

"Of course I’m not! I just like messing with you! And I only sleep with you at night because Yongguk snores really loud sometimes! Jeez, and they call me conceited. You’re kind of full of yourself to think that I could actually like you. I mean if I was gay, which I’m not, I would probably be attracted to Daehyun or Youngjae or someone else," Himchan said as he laughed some more to hide his pain.

"Oh…well I’m sorry then hyung. I guess I shouldn’t have accused you…" Jongup said to try and make it seem like he didn’t actually believe that Himchan liked him.

"It’s fine. No big deal right. I had some errands that I needed to run today though so…"

"Yea, no. I’ll see you later at the dorm then."

With that Himchan got up from his chair and headed to his car, slight tears flowing down his face. Jongup stayed for a little while longer in the coffee shop thinking about Himchan and if he should’ve said anything or not.

"Hyung is probably crying right now," Jongup lowly spoke aloud to himself. He knew he hurt the older male and he knew the other had clear feelings for him but he had to let him know that he didn’t like him in that way at all. 

I may seem slow hyung, but I’m not that slow. Was Jongup’s last thought as he stood from his chair and left the coffee shop to go back to their dorm.

While Jongup headed back to the dorm, Himchan called a friend of his as he cried his eyes out in his car. It took a minute but his friend eventually picked up.

“Hyung? What’s going on?”

“Suho, can I come over? Are you busy?” Himchan asked.

“Hyung, are you crying? What’s wrong?!” Suho asked worried about his friend.

“I’ll tell you later, but can I come over first?”

“Sure, I wasn’t doing anything today and most of the members are out today. So come over and we can talk.”

“I’ll be over soon,” Himchan said as he hung up the phone, wiped away the excess tears from his eyes, and headed over to EXO’s dorm.

Formatting is being a and none of my indents are transferring over!! But it! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! 

~Lolo