Minseok stared at Luhan and then shook his head incredulously. Minseok did kick him out (not literally of course) his apartment last night, but it didn’t mean that their relationship went back to square one. “Why the hell are you doing here? Why didn’t you go inside?” Minseok asked while pushing the paper cup filled with coffee toward the said. “Even though it’s already spring, but still cold out here.”

“I’m afraid I would disturb you if I go in there.” Luhan wrapped the paper cup with both hands and then smiled at Minseok when he could feel the warmness through his gloves. Looking at that restrained smile, Minseok could feel the pang in his heart.

“No, you wouldn’t disturb me or anything.” Minseok flopped on bench next to Luhan. His eyes automatically stared straight forward, to his café across the café. Minseok could see Chanyeol and Tao were serving the customers from behind the counter. He could see Jongdae was hovering near one of the guest and flashed a smile. He could see what was happening now in his café. “You know, you’re pretty much like stalker, aren’t you?”

Luhan chuckled, understood what Minseok meant. “Well, yeah, I guess? I sat here every year, watching you and your friends there. Yeah, you can say I am your stalker.” Luhan giggled. “So, now you are afraid of me? Are you going to call the police to arrest me?”

Minseok shrugged indifferent. “Well, you only watched me and didn’t do anything harm to me or my friends except leaving birthday gifts in front of my café. So, I guess I could call you my fan?” Minseok grinned.

“Finally.”

Minseok turned his head toward Luhan and saw the latter staring at him with a smile. A genuine smile. “Huh?”

“Finally you smile.” Luhan replied. Then he whispered, barely heard if Minseok didn’t sit next to him. “I’m sorry.”

Minseok replied him also gently. “No, I’m sorry. I should—“

“Can you listen to me this time?” Luhan cut him off.

Minseok nodded. Then shivered when he felt the cold wind blew. “If you agree to talk about this inside. The sun is already set so it’s getting freezing here.”

“Okay.” Luhan drank up his coffee. Rose from the bench, Luhan threw the paper cup into the dumpster, and then opened his right glove. Luhan offered it to Minseok who still sat and stared at him with raising eyebrow. “Wear it!”

“Huh?“

“As far as I can remember, since you were child you couldn’t handle cold well.” Luhan dressed his glove wrapping Minseok right hand, then reached for the latter’s left hand, intertwined their fingers and put their joint hands into his pocket. “If I give you both gloves, I will shiver and you would feel guilty. Now, you don’t have to feel burden and I don’t have to feel cold. Win-win solution, don’t you think?”

Minseok sighed. He felt happy, but on the other hand he suffered, knowing holding Luhan’s hand dearly wasn’t his right. This hand never belonged to him. This privilege never gifted to him. And he shouldn’t feel content with this contact. “Luhan, I don’t think we should—“

“Bear with me, Minseok! Please, only for today, do not over think anything!” Minseok could hear the pleaded cry in his voice. “Just this one day. I won’t do anything further than holding your hands. I promise.”

Minseok once again sighed. Then using Luhan’s hand, he pulled himself up and nodded. “Then, let’s go!”

Luhan grinned and looked around. Not giving care with raising eyebrows around them, Luhan led Minseok walked across the street. He didn’t let go Minseok’s hand even after they safely entering the café.

After spending some minutes chit-chatting with his employee, Minseok pulled Luhan into his coffee. “I’ll be back. I need to talk to them so they won’t slack while I’m with you.” He said before closing the door.

All alone in the office, Luhan decided to look around and explore. He started it with all the achievements plastered on the wall or placed on the cabinet. And then moved to the pictures. Staring at them on the wall, cabinet and the table, made Luhan realized how big the gap between them created by seven years only.

Luhan felt proud for everything Minsok had achieved in seven years. But he also felt sorry for not being there. And felt happy because from the pictures he saw, Luhan knew Minseok was surrounded by the people who loved him. Well, it was easy to guess actually, because everyone tended to love Minseok since the first minute they talked to him. Minseok was easy to love, such a loveable human being.

If Luhan had to write down all the good things of Minseok, one rim of paper wouldn’t enough. Because beyond their language and culture differences, since the first day they met Minseok already saved him by being his friend and stayed with him. For Luhan, Minseok was his savior. Minseok was his sun. Minseok was his world. Minseok was his everything. Minseok was his love.

But after their misunderstanding after Minseok came out to him, Luhan realized that not every first love granted with happiness. He lost Minseok and it was the darkest time of his life. People kept saying he was gifted with his face, with his life, with his brain, with his voice, with his body. But for Luhan, he was willing to give those things up to find wherever Minseok was. And yet, it took 2 years, after many attempts and a promise that he wouldn’t meet Minseok face to face, Luhan could pull out the information from Minseok’s parents.

He kept his promise for five years and finally broke the promise this year, thinking this would be his last year. Luhan managed to summon his courage and, with the help of Chanyeol, faced him. And it still didn’t work well. Maybe Luhan didn’t deserve love. Maybe instead of wishing, chasing and lusting on him to be his lover, Luhan should’ve contented with being on his side as his best friend. At least he wouldn’t leave behind. At least they could chat together without any awkwardness. At least they could still be best friend. At least he could see Minseok until the end of their time. Luhan should’ve feel gifted, but like others human being, he became greedier and wanted more than just become best friend.

Luhan flopped on sofa and saw the big box lying on the table in front of him. The slightly opened lid incited his curiosity to know what was inside of the box. Luhan took deep breath, contemplating. Couldn’t suppress it anymore, Luhan gave up and leaned forward, lifting the lid up.

Luhan sighed when he saw the contents of the box. He recognized all the small boxes inside that big box. They were the birthday presents he put them in front of Minseok’s café at his birthday since five years ago.

It started five years ago when he accompanied his friends shopping new clothes for winter. While stood between bunch of winter collections, Luhan was reminded how low tolerance Minseok was with cold. And thus he bought his first present for Minseok: a beanie, mitten and sweater. After perplexed about three months (and asking Minseok’s parents if sending a birthday present could be categorized as breaching the promise), Luhan came to the city where Minseok opened his new café.

Luhan didn’t enter the café, chose to sit on the bench at the bus stop across the café. At that day, Luhan spent three hours staring at the café. He could see Minseok was making coffee for the customer. He also could see the surprise party threw by Minseok’s friends. And knowing that he wouldn’t have the same chance to congratulate him personally, Luhan whispered his wishes to the blowing wind, hoping the wind would pass it to his best friend. And after saw Minseok picked up his present from his door, Luhan went back to his hard life, to the hard life without Minseok.

The process repeated again for the next years. This time Luhan personally went out to buy Minseok’s present. He chose couple magic coffee mugs, remembering how Minseok loved coffee. He went to Minseok’s café, once again sat across the café, whispered the wishes to the wind and put the present in front of the café.

And he did again for the next year. And the next year. And finally this year, when he decided to end this unrequited love and moved on with a ring.

“Why are you smirking?” Minseok came with small amounts of snacks on plate he brought. “Ah~ you see them.”

“Yeah. And I can see that you never use any of them.”

“I have no idea that you were the sender,” Minseok answered while putting the plate next to the box.

“Now I think about it again, it’s creepy to use gifts you received if you don’t know who the sender is.” Luhan laughed. “But you keep them anyway.”

“You wish me happiness and telling me you love me, how can I throw them.” Minseok reached for the smallest box and opened the lid. “Now, tell me about this.” Minseok showed Luhan the ring box inside it. “Why you gave me this, Luhan-ah?”

Luhan took a deep breath. “I have a fiancée back in China.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not asking about your status. I’m asking about the reason you are still here when you’re supposed to be in China, planning your wedding. You have a fiancée for heaven’s sake. You shouldn’t be here, telling me about how you and your fiancée planning your wedding. You shouldn’t be here telling me the time when both of you were searching your wedding rings, you saw this ring and thinking that this ring would look the best in my finger. YOU SHOULDN’T BUY IT, YOU SHOULDN’T BRING IT HERE AND YOU SHOULDN’T GIVE IT TO ME, THINKING THAT THIS WILL BE YOUR LAST PRESENT FOR ME. AND EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE SHOUTING LAST NIGHT, I STILL LISTENED TO YOU, YOU !” Minseok panted angrily. “You shouldn’t be here. You’re not supposed to be here, Luhan-ah!”

“It’s too late, right? It’s too late for me to come back to you right now.”

“Geez, Luhan!” Minseok pulled his hair distress. “You can’t cry right now. It’s not fair.”

Luhan chuckled between his tears. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. It hurts when you lost your love of your life. Twice.” He wiped the tears, but more came streaming down his face. “Tell me Minseok-ah, actually from the beginning, there is no second chance for me, right?”

Minseok sighed. He rose from his seat, grabbing the tissues and moved to Luhan’s side. “You have a fiancée, Luhan.” Minseok cleaned the tears on Luhan’s face and then cupped it. “You have a fiancée. I can’t come between you.”

“But you didn’t. You are already there from the first time.” Luhan covered Minseok’s hands with his. “Do you really think, if I go back and marry her, it will be fair for her, knowing I will never love her like I love you?”

“Then try to love her!”

“If I have the power to tell my heart to go according what I want, I wouldn’t suffer like this, Minseok-ah!” Luhan chuckled. He grabbed Minseok’s hand and held it tightly while he leaned his head on the back of the couch. Suddenly he felt so tired for trying too hard to get through Minseok’s defense. “I love you Minseok, and I know you love me too. So why can’t we be together?”

“Because you have a fiancée. And a wedding in prepare.” Minseok also leaned his head on the back of the couch. Once again he wiped the tears crawling over Luhan’s nose and going down to his jaw. “You’ll disappoint lots of people if you call this off, Luhan. And your parents will hate me to death. Your mom will skin me alive if you cancel your wedding.”

Luhan shook his head. After Minseok moved out their hometown, Luhan almost lived his life like a robot, making his parents worried. But then he met Sohee. Sohee successfully pulled him out of his little shell. Luhan started to smile again. Luhan started to laugh again. Luhan started to live his life again.

But when he announced to his parents that he intend to marry Sohee, his mom asked him with concern all over her face, “Do you really love her, Luhan-er?”
 

”She won’t hate you Minseok-ah.” Luhan said after spending sometimes in memories. “Mom actually asked me if I really marry Sohee because I love her or because I see someone else in her.” Luhan smiled. “I won’t lie, I love Sohee. But my mom is right, Minseok-ah. I don’t love her the way she is. I love her because she looks lots like you. I love her because I see you in her.”

“Oh, God, Luhan—“

“I will not marry her, Minseok-ah.” Luhan could feel the tears started to fill his eyes again, so he closed it. He felt so tired. He felt so sad. He depressed. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep, hoping that when he woke up, all of this was only a dream. That they were still teenagers. That they were still in high school. That they were still best friend. That they were still oblivious about love, lust, stereotype and judgment. “You can’t force me to marry her. If I marry her while I’m obviously in love with you, it won’t be fair for me. Or for her. Or for our family. So, your belief, Minseok-ah, I won’t marry her! Or anyone else. If I have to get married, I will marry you.”

“What if I keep saying no?”

“Then I will never getting married.” Luhan grinned. “So you, Minseok-ah!”

Luhan started to slumber when the silence filled the room. Until he felt pressure on his forehead. Luhan opened his eyes and flinched when he saw Minseok’s face just in front of his eyes.

“Promise me you’ll fix everything. Then I’ll think again about your proposal.”

Luhan put his head back on the couch, attaching his forehead to Minseok’s. “Then I’ll be back next week.” He closed his eyes and let the tears crawling down his face. Finally, he thought in his mind.

Minseok chortled. “Don’t you think it’s too short to solve everything?”

“I have to go back here fast,” Luhan answered, “Before you change your mind. Or before that dinosaur man snatch you away.”

“Dinosaur man?”

“Yes, that dinosaur man who always trailed behind you. Minseok, may I rest here for a while?”

“Of course you may!” Minseok replied. “Lu—Luhan?” Minseok wailed when Luhan pushed him to lie on couch. “I have to work.”

“And I need to rest.” Luhan wrapped his arms to Minseok and snuggled to the latter’s neck. “I have a flight back to China tomorrow.”





One year later.

“Hyung!”

Minseok closed the door behind him. “Chanyeol, I thought I already forbid you to—mmmppphhh.” Surprised, Minseok widened his eyes, letting the groceries in his grip fell to the floor when someone kissed him on the lips. He punched on the kisser’s chest while the latter pushed him back to the door behind him. “WHAT THE—LUHAN?” Minseok shouted disbelief.

“Hi!”

“Hi!” Minseok raised his fist and hit the doe eyed’s face. “And you!”

Luhan fell to the floor. When he raised his face toward Minseok with shock in his eyes, Minseok could see the blood on the corner of his lips. But the anger already took over his body completely, without any space for pity. “YOU! You said you’ll be back in a week!” Minseok shouted with his finger pointing at Luhan’s face.

“I’m sorry. Turned out there were lots of thing I have to deal with.”

“And you didn’t call me!” Minseok crouched down and grabbed Luhan’s collar. “You didn’t call me. You didn’t text me. You didn’t email me. You didn’t even contact me. Where the hell have you been?!”

“You told me to fix things, and I did. It took longer than I thought, but now Sohee,  my ex-fiancée, already happily married last month with some Korean guy who looks a lot like girls (Minseok : And you’re not? ) named Heechul. So here I’m here, in Korea, single and ready to claim back what belongs to me.”

“I do not belong to you.” Minseok replied while Luhan slowly pulled his collar off his grip. “And you’re too late!”

“No, you’re not!” Chanyeol butted in. “Luhan-hyung, Minseok-hyung doesn’t see anyone at this moment.”

“Ah~ thank you, Chanyeol!”

“ you, Chanyeol!” Minseok and Luhan replied simultaneously. “And why are you still here? Get the hell out of here!”

Under Minseok’s glare, Chanyeol turned his body, opened the connecting door and ran for his life. Still mad, Minseok turned his glare to the man in front of him. “You’re still too late.” He wasn’t, but Minseok wouldn’t give up that easy after being left behind without any news for a year. Luhan still have to get his payback!

Luhan picked Minseok’s left hand and kissed the ring the former gave one year ago on Minseok’s finger. “No, I am not. You’re wearing my ring; you’re still waiting for me.”

“No, I’m not. This is not you ring. This is Jongdae’s ring, the dinosaur man.”

Luhan chortled. He crossed his legs then grabbed on Minseok’s waist and pulled the latter until he straddled him. “The dinosaur man is dating Joonmyeon-ssi, even though I don’t know who the hell this Joonmyeon-ssi is.” Luhan smiled while wrapping his arms over Minseok’s waist. “I know you had refused lots flirtations while I’m not here, so I’m not late.”

“How did you know?”

“Chanyeol told me!”

“Chan— Stop it!” Minseok pushed Luhan’s shoulder, making the latter no longer kissing his jaw. “Stop kissing me!”

Luhan frowned. “Geez, Minseok, I missed you so bad. Can you just skip the crap and kiss me?”

“No more fiancée?”

“No. I don’t have fiancée.” Luhan grinned. “But, I will have a new one. If he says yes.”

“If he doesn’t say yes?”

Luhan closed the gap and spoke to Minseok’s mouth. “Then I have lots of time to persuade him to say yes. By the way, I already planned the wedding with our parents, so you can’t say no, because I can’t disappoint my parents twice.”

“You cheat! You’re using our parents!”

“Then say yes!” Luhan kissed the smile on Minseok’s lips.

“KIM MINSEOK! HOW DARE YOU TAINT MY HOLY KITCHEN WITH YOUR ADULTERY!” 

Author’s note:

3,118 (failed) words. Okay, now this is COMPLETELY finished. I should’ve continuing my series, but then here I am, finishing the other one. Ah~ me and my easy-to-distracted-brain

Again and again~ English is not my first language, so please forgive me for lots grammar mistakes and misused vocabularies.. Need personal editor.. Upvote! Upvote! Upvote! Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe! Comment! Comment! Comment! Thanks for all of that.. I love you, chu <3.. The picture doesn't belong to me, so credit goes to accio-xiuhan.tumblr.com..Love you, bye and thanks for reading *bow deep*