What would you do when you saw your first love walked back into your life?

Squatting behind the counter and crawling silently to the back under raised eyebrows from his employees obviously the answer Minseok had before.

Second time that man came, Minseok was opening the connecting door from the back. With one of his hand was holding tray, Minseok widen his single-eyelid-eyes and promptly walked backward. He hid himself in the kitchen until he founded after five times peeking, that man was already out of his café.

The third time Minseok still managed to avoid him. Minseok was out of town with Kim Jongdae, one of his waiters, searching for new decoration stuffs for his café. But when he came back to his café, Do Kyungsoo, chef slash the café share owner, push a yellow small post-it paper to him.

“What is this?” Minseok leaned his body to the counter and reached for that post-it.

“It’s from the one you avoided lately.”

Minseok jolted and threw the post-it like it was so hot that it could burn his fingers.

Jongdae picked it up and read it. “Hello, Baozi—wait, one, two, three—Hyung, he put five exclamation marks behind Baozi. Hello, Baozi. I never thought that I finally found you. Please call me. Luhan.” Jongdae waved the post-it in front of Minseok face playfully. “And there’s his number here, Hyung.”

Minseok seized the small paper from Jongdae, and then walked away while scrunching and putting it in his jeans.

“Hyung, tell us about him!” Kyungsoo followed him from behind the counter. Jongdae also trailed behind Minseok.

Minseok turned around the corner and push the connection door, walking to the kitchen. “Someone should watch the counter.”

“Chanyeol can do it!’ Kyungsoo replied.

“Hyung, tell me about this man! Who is this guy? Why did you avoid him?” Jongdae started his interrogation. “Do you have problems with him? Why did you avoided him so many times?”

“I didn’t.” Minseok looked around, trying to find something to work on.

“You did, don’t lie to me, Hyung!” Kyungsoo pulled in his chin and stared at Minseok with his infamous creepy stare.

“Yeah, Hyung, don’t lie to us!” Jongdae chimed in.

“Boys, this is not your business!” Minseok wrapped the apron to his waist. “Go back to your work, Jongdae! You too, Kyungsoo! I won’t tell—“

“Hyung!” Chanyeol slipped his head between the door. “Someone is waiting for you.”

Minseok snapped his head to Chanyeol and quickly nodded. “Okay!”

“Hyung!” Jongdae grabbed Minseok wrist, keeping him from walking away.

Minseok showed his infamous gummy smile, clearly showing his relief expression for escaping his two dongsaengs’ interrogation. He pulled his hand and then patted on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Go back to your work! Both of you!” Minseok walked to the door and stepped outside with huge grin on his face.

And it vanished right away when Minseok saw the man who was looking for him. Oh, ! He cursed internally.

“BAOZI!”

Minseok walked backward, but that man already grabbed his body and hugged Minseok tigthly. Minseok’s heart beat so fast. His eyes popped out. His body froze. His lips dried out. And Minseok could felt cold sweat suddenly ran down from his forehead. “Lu—Luhan! W—Why are you—you here?” Minseok thanked his brain for still working, even though not the way he wanted it.

Luhan pulled apart and smiled blindingly. “I saw your name there.” Luhan pointed at Minseok barista certification on the wall behind the counter. Actually Minseok didn’t want to frame and hang it there, but Kyungsoo made Minseok did it five years ago. And he regretted it. “And I wondered if the same Kim Minseok I know.”

“I came here, but I never saw you.” Luhan continued. His hands still gripped on Minseok’s upper arms. “So, I thought, why don’t I leave my number to him.” Luhan pointed to Chanyeol. “And told him to call me when you’re here.”

Minseok cursed Chanyeol in his head and imagined so many tortures that he would do to that good-for-nothing-tower. “Luhan, I’m sorry, but I have to work.”

“I understand.” Luhan nodded peppy. “But I can see you after your shift over, right? We haven’t seen each other for seven years; there is so much I want to tell you.”

“I—I’m the owner here. So, I will be the last one off the work.”

Luhan replied, “That’s okay. I’ll be back at your closing time.” Luhan hugged Minseok once again. “Jeez, I miss you, Minseok-ah, I have so many questions for you. I’ll be back! This time, please wait for me!” And with big grin, Luhan released Minseok and went out, leaving Minseok’s mind wandered to his past time that already been buried so long before.

Minseok knew Luhan since middle school, when Luhan and his family moved from Beijing, China to the house next door. That boy grinned so wide, showing his disorder teeth and playfully kicked a soccer ball to Minseok. To his face.

After that, they soon became best friend. When Luhan first entered Minseok’ school, the latter was the one showed him around the school. Minseok also dragged Luhan with him every time he went out with his friends. Minseok helped Luhan practicing his Korean. Luhan taught Minseok how to solve Rubik cube, even though Minseok gave in after his fifth attempt. They became one unit. They were always there for each other. Like their friends used to say: when there was Minseok, there was Luhan, and vice versa. Minseok and Luhan were inseparable.

Until they hit puberty in high school.

When Minseok saw Luhan first time, he knew that one day Luhan would become fine guy, leaving the bad teeth and dark skin due to their outdoor activities behind. And he did. Luhan became the finest handsome guy Minseok ever saw. He was blessed with gorgeous face and skin. He also was cheerful guy, managing to become everyone’s friend. All teachers love him, being smart student he was. And what Minseok loved the most from Luhan was when he laughed. It was so blindingly beautiful, making every one surround him turned their head and instantly fell in love to him.

But life was never fair.

While Luhan grew up gracefully, Minseok didn’t have the same opportunity. He didn’t had double eyelids like Luhan had. He was not as tall as Luhan. Minseok also had glasses perched on his nose all the time (and even now, he still sometimes wore it when his eyes were too tired to wear contact lens). And after all their outdoor sport and the martial arts he trained, Minseok was still fat boy. His face became so white and round, living up “BAOZI” nickname Luhan gave him in their first meeting. How much Minseok hated that nick!

At first Minseok didn’t envy Luhan. He was happy that his friends got more friends than when he first moved. But when everyone started to compare them, Minseok began to realize their differences. And his insecurities started to rise.

But Luhan was always Luhan. Being the kind person he is, Luhan never care about how Minseok look. He always invited Minseok to everywhere he went. He always waited for Minseok to go home together. He always asked to be in the same group every time they played soccer. Luhan always stayed by his side. And Minseok was grateful, also regretted in the same time. Because in the end, thanks to their time together, Minseok fell in love with him.

Afraid Luhan would despise him if he found out, Minseok started to turn down almost all Luhan’s invitation, even invitation to go home together. Minseok hated it, because being with Luhan was his most precious moment, but the risk was too high. He was too afraid someone would finally see the love in his eyes, so, Minseok kept maintaining his distance, except when in their house. In their house, behind those doors, in their sanctuary, Minseok could do anything he wanted to Luhan and let Luhan did anything to him. They could go back to their childhood, where no one would value or saw them by their appearance.

“Minseok, am I boring?” One time, when they were resting in Minseok’s room, Luhan suddenly popped the question, breaking the cozy silence surrounded them. Luhan was playing the games on his cell phone on Minseok’s bed, while Minseok sat on the floor, reading book with his back plastered over his bed.

Minseok chuckled. “Of course not.”

“Then ,why do you avoid me?”

“I didn’t.” Minseok jolted then lifted his book, trying to cover his face. These days Minseok felt he became more expert in lying department.

“You did.” Luhan scooted his way closer to Minseok. His body lied facedown while Luhan put his chin on top of the latter’s head. “You never agree to go out with me again. You acted like you don’t want to be seen with me.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“If you really bored,” Minseok stuttered. “You can ask your friends to go out.”

“But I want to go out with you!” Luhan climbed down the bed and sat next to Minseok. He hugged the latter and put his head on Minseok’ shoulder. “I hate when I cannot see you! I like being with you. I like staying with you. And I want to be with you. Forever.”

Minseok already stopped reading the moment Luhan put his chin on his head. But right now, his mind stopped working completely. Minseok knew Luhan said it in friendship context, but in Minseok’s head those words swirling around. Luhan shouldn’t say that. Luhan shouldn’t play his heart like it some kind of toys.

That night, Minseok yelled at Luhan. He kicked Luhan out his house, collected all Luhan stuffs in his room and next day sent it to the house next door. Clueless, Luhan came to his house, but Minseok refused to go out and see him. Luhan called him, but Minseok didn’t pick it up. Luhan texted him, asking for an explanation, but Minseok didn’t reply it. When Luhan stopped him at school, Minseok turned around and ran away. Sick about it, Luhan came again to his house with a stair. He climbed it, broke Minseok’s window and climbed through it.

“God! What the hell are you doing!” Minseok yelled at him. “It’s dangerous, idiot!”

“This is the only way I could think to see you!” Luhan yelled back. He stood in front of Minseok with both hands on his waist. “What the hell are you doing? You kicked me out of your house and your life. What did I do wrong that made you did this to me? Tell me, Minseok! Tell me why you avoided me!”

“I’m gay.” Actually, Minseok didn’t mean to say that. He just wanted Luhan to shut up. He just wanted to stop Luhan pestering him. He just wanted Luhan to stop coming closer to him. He just wanted Luhan to stay away from him.

The funny thing was, after Minseok said that, he suddenly felt so relieved. Like he already had something buried in his heart for so long and finally he freed it. He didn’t know loving would burden his heart this much.

“W—What?”

Minseok laughed when he saw Luhan looked at him horrified.

“Y—You lied!”

Minseok shook his head. “I hope I did.” He breathed deeply and stared at Luhan with certainty. “I’m gay and currently, I’m in love with a guy.”

Luhan stumbled backward until his back knew bumped to the bed and he sat there with blank expression. “You’re in love with a guy?” Luhan whispered.

Minseok nodded. “Yes, I am.”

Luhan lifted his head and looked at Minseok. “Do I know him?”

“Of course you do.” Minseok chuckled.

“You always said I am beautiful.” Luhan asked again, “Is he more beautiful than me?”

Minseok shook his head. “No one is more beautiful than you, Luhan.”

“But you love him.”

Minseok nodded again. “He is perfect. Everyone loves him. He was so popular that—“ Minseok surprised when he saw Luhan abruptly ran out his room. Minseok could hear his parents asking Luhan why he was in rush. He couldn’t hear Luhan’s voice, so he thought Luhan might not answer the question and ran straight to the door. Not long after that, Minseok could hear the sound of slamming door. Minseok laughed bitterly. “I—It’s o—over!” And cried.

He knew this event was inevitable, sooner or later Luhan would find out about his feeling. Not everyone in this world was open minded and okay with same- love, especially when you are the object of the affection, so Minseok couldn’t blame him because he also knew it was disgusting. But it still hurt. Extremely hurt.

Minseok cried and cried and cried for the next two days. Luckily it was weekend. He refused to eat. He refused to go out his room. He refused even to slightly move his body. He thought what he should do now his world already crumbled down. His mom went back and forth to his room, checking on him. And after talking with his parents, Minseok finally come to one decision that he never thought he would able to do before: leaving Luhan and his life here. Without saying goodbye to any of his friends, two days after Luhan ran out of his room, Minseok flied out the town and moved away.

“You’ll gonna be okay?” Jongdae asked again.

With his hand was still spinning the key, locking the front door of their café, Minseok laughed.

“Hyuuunggg~”

Minseok put the keys in his bag, and then turned around. “Don’t worry, you can go home now.”

Jongdae glanced over his shoulder to the blue car parked in front of their café. “But—“

“Jongdae-yah!” Minseok smiled. Apparently this mischievous devil could change into kind angel if he wanted to. Well, Minseok already knew that since he employed him four years ago. “I can deal with him. You can go!”

“Hyung, if something happen—“

“You’re the first man I call.” Minseok flicked on Jongdae’s forehead. “You know, even though I’m shorter than you—“

“But you’re skinnier!” Jongdae cut in.

“—I still can beat you and him in once. I’m stronger than you and every worker here!”

“But—“

“Go!”

“Okay!” Jongdae once again peeked to the car and patted on Minseok hip before he eventually bid him goodbye and walked away, leaving Minseok stood alone, watching him until he disappear around the corner.

“Are you ready?”

Minseok startled, didn’t realized he was lost in thought and Luhan’s voice pulled him back into reality. “Huh?”

“Your friend already went.” Luhan pointed to the corner where Jongdae turned before.

“Ah, okay! Let’s go!” Minseok carried his bag and followed Luhan to the car. He hopped into the passenger seat and buckled up.

Luhan started the engine, but the car didn’t move forward.

Minseok turned to him with question mark in his eyes.

“Your address?”

“Ah!” Minseok described his address while cursing in his mind. But Minseok felt so nervous. His mind spun but he didn’t even know what he was thinking right now. He might think about the perfume soared vaguely from the body next to him. Minseok might think about the sound of him breathing. Minseok might think about the way Luhan moved his hand on steering wheel. Basically, Minseok’s mind might think about the man next to him that it couldn’t think about other things.

Time was ticking away, and Minseok no longer could hold it. “Luhan, why are you here?”

Luhan smiled bitterly. “Hello, Luhan, long time no see. How is your life?” Luhan snickered. “Minseok-ah, don’t you think it little rash to me? We used to be childhood friends.”

Minseok agreed. “We did.” Indeed, in one point before his world crumbled down, they were best friend. Before the envy grew. Before the insecurities hit. Before the love spread. Before Minseok realized how important Luhan in his life.

“I actually heard from your parents that you now have a successful café. It should be expected, because since high school, you are the best in making delicious coffee. I thought I should come to your café and wrote about it especially when I heard that you’ll open new branch in our hometown.”

“I had thought about it,” Minseok smiled and looked around to their hard work proudly. “But it wasn’t easy, especially at the beginning. We’re still discussing about it. And I already heard about it from Chanyeol about you want to write about our café in your next magazine issue. But can you not do it?”

“What?” Luhan turned and Minseok could see his face showed how he didn’t expect that. This was the first time someone ever refused free publication on famous national magazine where Luhan work.

“This café isn’t as big as other café, but it has cozy atmosphere, making everyone feel welcome like a family member here, despite whatever condition they are. You can see, almost all employees and customers know each other, and we want to maintain that. I feel grateful for you to offering us, but I do think we already love this café the way it is now.”

Luhan nodded in agreement. “You’re still the same.”

“Really?” Minseok’s head downed and saw himself. He really thought he changed to a better person, but every one’s point of view definitely different one to another. “My fams always said that I changed a lot.”

“Your appearance did. You’re skinnier, much skinnier now that make me I think you need to eat more. Even though you were already cute back then, but you now become more beautiful. But I was not talking that. I was talking about your inner side. Since we were kid, you always think out of box. You always choose to see from others perspective. You’ll always be the positive guy. And I love you because of that.”

Minseok stunned by the word LOVE. But then he realized, Luhan always said that since long before, so it might not again the same context like in Minseok’s mind. Minseok lifted his chin and smiled. “You don’t change much too, except the fact that now you’re taller than before.” Minseok tilted his head to the side and grinned. “You’re prettier too.”

“I’m not pretty. I’m manly!”

Minseok laughed heartily. “Yes, you are!”

“I am! I’ll prove it!” Luhan straightened his body.

Minseok reached for Luhan hand on wheel and patted on them. “That’s okay. I believe it!”

Luhan pointed his eyes straight to Minseok’s hand over his.

Embarrassed, Minseok pulled back his hand and pointed outside. “That’s my building.” Saved by the fate, Minseok breathed a sigh of relief. He waited until Luhan pulled over, unbuckled his seat belt and then quickly went out the car.

“Minseok!”

Minseok turned around and raised his eyebrow when he saw Luhan opened the back door and carried out one box wrapped in purple paper. “That—“

Luhan stood in front of Minseok and the box into the latter’s hands. “Even it’s late, but happy birthday!”

“You—You are the one—“ Minseok stammered. He recognized the same purple wrapping paper. He recognized the same card with “Happy Birthday Kim Minseok. Wish your life will be lot happier than ever. With love, yours only.” written in it. He recognized this because it always placed in front of his café door at his birthday date since five years ago. “—the—the one who sent a—all of them?”

Luhan nodded. “I’m sorry, I seemed like stalker, but I can assure you this is the last thing you’ll ever receive from me. Now that you know those presents are from me, please bear me and accept this one! I won’t disturb you anymore.”

“How—How did you found out my cafe?”

“Your parents told me. I forced them to tell me!” Luhan squeezed Minseok’ shoulder to soothe him. “I forced them to tell me as soon as I know you moved out of town. At first they refused. But I kept chasing and pestering them until they gave up eventually and told me about your cafe. I came to your town five years ago and I want to confront you. I want to ask you why you left me. Why you left your parents. Why you went and not saying goodbye to me. But—I couldn’t.”

Luhan couldn’t bring himself to Minseok because after long disappeared, he finally could see that genuine gummy smile plastered on Minseok’s face. Luhan couldn’t remember the exact time when Minseok started to lose his gummy smile. But he never flashed it again when there were crowd around them. The frequency of the smile became smaller and smaller over time, and it finally disappeared at all. Minseok stopped smiling. Minseok stopped going out with him. Minseok stopped being Minseok he knew before.

“I—I—“

“You don’t have to answer it.” Luhan shook his head. Then he extended his hand and caressed Minseok’s cheek. He pulled back his hand when he felt Minseok flinched by his touch. “Minseok-ah, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving the best memories I’ve ever had. I had loved you, I love you now, and I will always love you.”

Minseok was taken aback. His mouth opened for not believing. “No, you don’t!”

“I do. I do love you. I love you so much that I came here every year, putting your birthday present in front of your café door and sat across the street, watching you and saying your birthday wishes to the air, hoping somehow that air would deliver it to your ear and you turned your head to me and noticed me. I love you so much that I already went back and forth to your café for five days until I finally could brace myself and walked in. I love you so much that I know you ran away every time you see me, but I had to see you before I go, so I kept coming and coming until I could see you. I love you so much that it hurts every time I think about you. But I still did it, because I couldn’t set you aside from my heart, moreover my life. I love you so much that when I finally decided to say goodbye to you for good, half of me died.”

“Y—You’re leaving?”

“My father was retired months ago and they decided to move back to Beijing, so I’m thinking to follow them. Now you can go home and open wide your window, without fear getting saw by me.” Luhan smiled bitterly.

“If you really love me, then why did you run away when I told you I’m gay?” Minseok asked, still couldn’t believe any word from Luhan.

“What would you do if love of your life saying he loves someone else but you? What would you do when you can see your future was crushed by someone better than you. What would you do—“

“He was you.” Minseok cut in. “He was you.”

“Huh?”

“When I was talking about my crush, I was talking about you.”

“No, you don’t. You are feeling sorry for me now, right?” Luhan started to feel annoyed. His voice was getting higher.

“No, I didn’t.” Minseok insisted. “I was talking about you.”

“Then why did you talk like he was someone else!” Luhan began to shout.

“BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID IF YOU FOUND OUT I LOVE YOU, YOU’LL GONNA HATE ME AND LEAVE ME!” Minseok yelled at him. His chest heaved up and down, but Minseok finally managed to collect himself. He whispered, but still could be heard by Luhan. “And you did.”

“I left you because I thought you falling love to other man, and it broke my heat. I left because I need time to mend my broken heart. At least I didn’t fly out the city and leave everything behind.”

Minseok glared at Luhan furiously. But Luhan got his point and Minseok kinda agreed with that. “So, you need my sorry then?”

Luhan chuckled. The tension began to melt down.

Minseok grinned. He tapped his foot impatiently, feeling nervous and contented at the same time. Never crossed in his mind, or in his wildest dream, that Luhan loved him. He was accustomed to his unrequited love that he always thought he would end up alone. Till the end of his time.

Or maybe fate already fed up playing with his life and decided to finally brighten it.

“I have a flight tomorrow morning, so I guess—“

“Wait, what?” Minseok was perplexed.

“I have to go.” Luhan turned around, but Minseok grabbed his wrist and stopped him to walk away. “Minseok?”

“I—I thought yo—you said y—you love m—me?” Minseok stammered confusedly.

“I did.”

“And—“

“And?” Luhan raised his eyebrow.

“Do—Do—Don’t you wa—want to—“ Minseok frowned, trouble to put it in words.

“Can I touch you?” Luhan asked suddenly.

Minseok surprised but he stood still. Luhan extended his hand and touched his cheek once again. Luhan’s hand felt so cold over red hot Minseok’s cheek. And he caressed him so gently, making Minseok started to feel a sting in the corner of his eyes. Afraid he would cry, Minseok closed his eyes. “I won’t break, you know?”

“I know you won’t, because you’re stronger than me. But I will. I already did.”

Minseok quickly opened his eyes and surprised by the sight of tears running down from Luhan’s eyes. “Luhan?” Minseok pulled his hand and wiped the tears tenderly.

“I’m sorry.” Luhan pressed his forehead above his forehead. Minseok could smell the coffee and mint came out from his breath, and he loved it. “I wish I knew you loved me before, so today you are mine and not his.”

“His?” Minseok pulled back. “Who is this his?”

“The one that stare at you so fondly. The one that always give you back hug. The one that always laugh with you. The one that took long time to go home because he was worried I’ll do something to you. The one that always hug and touch you. The one that—“

“Jongdae?”

“His name is Jongdae? Both of you look so suit to each other.” Luhan smiled bitterly. “You look so happy when he is around you. I wish both of you happiness and—“

“But he is not my boyfriend,” Minseok replicated. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend?”

“How many times I have to repeat myself, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
 

“What the—“ Surprised and not believing, Minseok turned his head towards Luhan who was exploring his apartment front and back. “Luhan! Luhan! LUHAN! LUHAAAN!”

Luhan stopped walking and finally shifted his attention to Minseok. “What?”

“What the hell is this?” Minseok lifted his birthday box from Luhan.

“It’s a ring.”

“I know it is a ring, but why did you give me a ring?” Minseok frowned. “Are you trying to mock me? But how do you mock me with this ring? Luhan, why the did you give me a ing ring?”

Luhan grinned and sat on the floor, right in front of Minseok. He took out the ring from the box and put it on Minseok’s ring finger. “Because I want to marry you, so, Kim Minseok, will you marry me?” 

Author’s note:

4,583 (failed) words. This is a new record. Hahahahaha~

I’m sorry, I knew I should’ve continuing my series, but let me say I put that project in hiatus until I could find a proper plot to continue it.

So this story was a failed angst themed (yes, my fave theme). I love that picture. I feel like I’m looking at the picture of their wedding press conference. We need more XIUHAN, why? Because in the end, they will marry to another. At least in my dream. Hahahahahahaha~

Again and again~ English is not my first language, so please forgive me for lots grammar mistakes and misused vocabularies.. Need personal editor.. Upvote! Upvote! Upvote! Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe! Comment! Comment! Comment! Thanks for all of that.. I love you, chu <3.. The picture doesn't belong to me, so credit goes to accio-xiuhan.tumblr.com..Love you, bye and thanks for reading *bow deep*