truth [noun]

the true facts about something, rather than what is untrue, imagined, or guessed

He'd come to find out the truth about his family.

 

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Over the years, Donghae had grown up and had started to move away from toys. His reward now became his time outside the palace and his horses.

 

As the emperor of the kingdom, he should not be leaving the palace too often, or not at all unless it was for the sake of the kingdom which Donghae definitely was not going out for.

 

All his life, he was under the control of his mother and now at the age of fifteen, he cherished the freedom he got when he was out hunting. He could ride his horse and run around the grasslands, having all the control over his life at that moment.

 

He could choose what he wanted to kill and what he wanted to spare.

 

∞

 

However, there are many things that many do not know about their emperor. 

 

It was just another day of his boring life, his life as a puppet, another day at court.

 

This day, he was made to sentence another innocent life to death. Some might say that he had already became immune to it, he had became heartless. However, that is not the case for Donghae. Despite all this years and all the lifes he had ruined, he still felt guilty.

 

When he was younger, he did not know what his actions meant but when he had grown older and got to know of the meaning of his actions, he just could not get over the pang of guilt in him.

 

He had nightmares of all the innocent people begging him to spare their lifes, nightmares of the royal court figures who he had spared due to his mother's orders laughing at him, nightmares of the citizens of the kingdom throwing rocks at him.

 

He had tried to argue with his mother once, to let the innocent court lady free. However, his mother had only made things worse for the lady and had also confined him to his room for a whole week.

 

He felt useless, being unable to rule his kingdom properly, to ruin innocent lifes, to set the sinned free, to be seen as a tyrant king to many.

 

The guilt was slowly eating him up...

 

He needed a way where he could free himself from all the guilt and he eventually did, in a twisted way.

 

Along his way, Donghae had found a way to relief himself of the guilt, even if it was just for a moment. For every single life ruined in his hands, he would cut once. He was aware that this was not right, but he just could not stop. Physical pain felt so much better than the emotional pain he felt.

 

However, to avoid anyone from finding out about this, he had cut on his upper arm, where the sleeves of his robe would always cover. He would also dismiss his all his maids whenever he showers. No one has ever seen those cuts, and he intended to keep it that way.

 

This day, Donghae had exiled another innocent young man with a bright future ahead of him, yet another life ruined in his hands. He had returned to his quarters immediately after giving his verdict, he needed to relief himself quick, he could not hold it anymore.

 

He rushed back to his room and dismissed all his men but Song Qian had stayed despite his orders. She insisted that she had something really important to tell him.

 

"I should have told you long ago, but I did not have the heart to do so. Things are getting worse now from what I have seen so... I hope you are ready for this." She started.

 

Donghae gave her a questioning look, he just wanted to be alone now, just what could have been so important.

 

"Well, I hope you can finish listening to everything I have to say. You are not your parents' son."

 

Donghae's eyes widened as he looked up to Song Qian.

 

"Your father did not love your mother at all. He did not spend any night with your mother but with Lady Nana. She had left the palace with her son, the rightful emperor after your father's death. Your mother needed a son for her to rule the kingdom because if not the throne will be given to your uncle so he bought you from lady outside the palace. Your real father had passed away too before you were born had left behind a huge amount of gambling debts... But Donghae, I did not tell you this to make you upset. I just want you to realise that your mother, I mean the Empress Dowager only wanted to control the kingdom, which I believe the number of wrong decisions she had made so... I just want you to realise this and make the choices you think is right for the kingdom." She sighed. "I believe you need sometime alone now, but I will be here for you whenever you need."

 

Song Qian left his quarters, leaving him all alone in those four walls that had witnessed all the chances in his life. Donghae rummaged his drawer for the blade he had hidden in there, drawing it without hesitation.

 

He lifts his sleeves and brings the blade to his skin, adding yet another cut to the already littered with scars arm. He stared at his arm, watching blood slowly ooze out of the cut.

 

You could call it a punishment, a redemption, anything but it is the way Donghae reliefs his guilt.

 

∞

 

The following day was free of any royal meetings for Donghae as it was suppose to be his reward from his mother, for him to leave the palace.

 

However, Donghae was stopped from leaving the palace as Changmin, his advisor had arrived at his quarters to see him leaving.

 

Changmin was a trusted man of his father when he was still around and had became his advisor after he had started to take on the roles of being an emperor. Although Donghae truly wonders why does he even need an advisor when he never listened to him as whatever the advisor says was always the opposite of his mother's wishes.

 

Being the advisor, Changmin had immediately stopped the emperor on leaving the palace. Donghae was truly frustrated at that, he had exiled someone on his mother's wishes yet he will not be able to enjoy his reward. Besides, he really needed some freedom right now. Times like this he really felt that killing another person would not matter.

 

Since Donghae could no longer leave the palace, he had to return to his quarters especially since his advisor was currently making sure he would not be playing any tricks.

 

The emperor was mentally cursing his advisor as he, and his guards who surrounded him, walked up the small flight of steps leading to his quarters when he missed a step and lost footing. One of his guard grabbed his arm and pulled him up so that he would not fall. Donghae winced as the guard's hands made contact to his cloth upper arm.

 

Sensing what had happened, Donghae stormed off to his quarters, hoping now one would suspect what had happened just now. Unfortunately for Donghae, his advisor had saw ever single move of his.

 

∞

 

"Your majesty, I am here today to inform you of an unfortunate news. Song Qian had been found dead in her quarters this morning and a piece of paper was found beside her body." Changmin reported as he passed the blood stained paper to the emperor.

 

'This is my warning to you'

 

At that moment, Donghae just want to let out all the pent up frustrations he had of his 'mother'. He had obeyed her all along, what more did she want from him.

 

Why did she have to take Song Qian away from here, she was the one who was closest to a mother to him. She had already taken away his childhood...

 

Clearing of throat was heard as the advisor had to choose this moment to ask the emperor something.

 

"I am sorry about the news but your majesty, what had happened to your arm? You seemed to have injured your arm."

 

"It is nothing, just leave now." Annoyance laced in his words.

 

"Your majesty, I am tasked to be your advisor and to help you. Also, I am responsible for you to your father."

 

"He is not my father!" The emperor acted on impulse and only realising his mistake when it was too late. "Just leave..."

 

One thing many might not know about Changmin was now stubborn he actually was or rather fearless. The late emperor Chu Yong had only came to realise Changmin's abilities through his stubbornness. Changmin was someone who would not hesitate to point out even the emperor's mistakes and would not give up easily, making sure that the one he serves will not correct that mistake.

 

So unluckily for Donghae, Changmin will not be leaving so easily.

 

The emperor let out a cry of frustration as tears started to clouds his vision. Despite this, Changmin still stood there, not wavering at all.

 

Donghae had came up with some lies to cover up the part of his arms and all but in the end, he decided to tell Changmin the truth, he was after all his 'father's' most trusted man.

 

"Your majesty, don't you think that you should go and find Lady Nana and Prince Eunhyuk? Also, don't do that anymore."

 

"Oh and since your majesty has told me all his secrets, I shall tell you mine too. I know where they are."

 

∞

 

However, Jiyeon had already planned everything out in an event where Donghae will start to disobey her. The first step now will be to follow him and she will know where Lady Nana and Prince Eunhyuk had went.

 

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A/N: The cutting scene is necessary for the story I hope you all can understand. Thank you for supporting this fic and the past chapters were all quite depressing so the next will be on a lighter note, and eunhae will finally meet too!!!