Log 6

The cold winter has passed. Spring is coming. Every inch in my bones feels the new beginning. Winter break is almost over. I will regain my grades. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Jongin’s face. Be it pictures of videos. I still follow EXO’s progress, but I don’t want to see him.

I fear if I do I would fall again. i fear i’d fall into the bottomless pit of obsession.

I know he will not reciprocate my feelings for him.

Because he might never know.

Log 7

I’ve managed to pass high school. Perfect scores. But what do I want to do? I’ve applied to all the S.K.Y schools.

I’ve yet to be accepted into any. Today is my first fanmeet for over a month.

They’ve managed to promote another song, Growl.

Jongin is blond now.

I see Kai more than ever.

Log 8

The song is better than wolf. I liked you better in the mama era. I saw a lot more accidental Jongins.

Jongin, you’re getting good at hiding Jongin and showing Kai.

I want to know you. I want to know Jongin and not Kai.

I hate your blond hair.

I hate you.

Log 9

The flowers are blossoming. It’s getting warm.

Jongin, it’s time to shed your skin.

Put Kai away. With EXO’s showtime, I hope to get to know Jongin.

You’re funny and cute and talented.

And most of all you’re perfect.

Log 10

Today was my second fanmeet in forever.

Still no acceptance letter yet. Did my grades slip that low?

You saw me.. You looked at me differently.

Jongin, have I matured now?