One. Two. Three. In just three seconds, I fell in love. I have no idea what it was but for some reason, I felt my heart beat fasten when I walked past him and as I looked into his eyes, it gave off that feeling of something very extraordinary and amazing feeling. I can’t quite recall that time but I am still sure of that feeling when I fell in love with him. For the first time, I fell in love at first sight.

I love how dark brown his eyes are, his jaw line so perfect, his impeccable way of talking. I love how crooked his smile is, his perfect-lined nose, his velvet voice when he talks, his annoying and obnoxious yet unique laugh. I love that about him. I love everything in him and about him.

That day when I first saw him, that was the day when he was transferred to my school. Ever since then, I always watched him go home. Every day. Every single day. His going home routine is quite complicated. Like when he stops by at the church and offers a short prayer, and then he takes a short walk at the seaside and  watch the sunset, and then he stops by and talks to the old homeless man just across their home. I too, learned to love his daily routine and I would always do it with him every single day after class. Every day. And I loved it.

It was during a lunch break in fourth year when I confessed to him. It wasn’t easy as eating nuts. It took me sweating courage and maddening heart beat. I told him I like him and strangely, he said he returned the feeling. I was stunned I thought I forgot how to talk. And then we started dating after that. Believe me, at first it was really awkward. But eventually, our realationship grew into something like friendship.

We talked to each other like there was no one else. We laughed and giggled at our own jokes and I loved the singel freckle on his nose. We would watch my favorite movie and he would always complain at the end how the werewolf learned to read. He would go shopping with me and he would always compliment my taste in shoes. We would go on picnics somewhere near the glistening lake and would talk about our life and what if I haven’t confessed. We would hold hands in public and would not care about people’s stare and whispers. We would walk on the city at night on our pjs and eat ice cream and swing on the swings. We would watch soccerr and I would always favor the opposing team of his favorite. We would go far away from the noise of the city and just stay in the car and watch the  green fields and hug each other and share blankets to warm us. And everytime it would rain, we would go out on our bikes and enjoy it. That was how we loved each other. We kissed each other like it was our first time and we told each other “I love you” like there was no tomorrow.

This love is the only thing I care about now. This love is the only thing that matters anymore. I don’t want to leave him and I just hope he would not do the same. Trust me, until now I still can’t control myself when I’m with him. My heart still beats fast but not as fast when I first saw him. I still melt at his every smile and every “I love you” and I still feel butterflies in my stomach when he hugs me.

Love at first sight. I wonder if it’s like that for other people. If it’s as happy as mine. If it’s as maddening as my heart beat everytime I see him. I wonder.

That night, when I witnessed my mom, the only family I’m left, getting shot in front of me, my knees trembled and my insides were shaking. I had no idea who killed her but what I’m sure of was that I was going to take revenge. You weren’t there because I told you to go home and dry yourself up since it just rained and we rode our bicycles that time. I swear I regretted not having you there. If only you were there, you could’ve protected us—my mom, and she wouldn’t be gone by now. If only it didn’t rain…

When I woke up, I saw a white four-walled room. I saw myself lying on a white bed with white sheets and a white blanket on top of me. I didn’t know what I was doing there nor how I got there. It was cold and it was suffocating me not knowing what happened. I didn’t know who I am or what’s my name. I didn’t know what happened before I got there or who put me in there. I didn’t know anybody. I heard that tiny voice in my head telling me that I was alone, that nobody was with me and that nobody loved me. I thought I was going crazy. Funny, because actually I thought I was crazy.

You told me I had amnesia because of the trauma when I saw my mother shot. You told me you were mine and I was yours. You told me you loved me and I loved you. You told me were inlove and nothing mattered than the love we shared. You told me everything. You told me that we talked to each other like there was no one else. We laughed and giggled at our own jokes and that I loved the single freckle on your nose. We would watch my favorite movie and you would always complain at the end how the werewolf learned to read. You would go shopping with me and you would always compliment my taste in shoes. We would go on picnics somewhere near the glistening lake and would talk about our life and what if I haven’t confessed. We would hold hands in public and would not care about people’s stare and whispers. We would walk on the city at night on our pjs and eat ice cream and swing on the swings. We would watch soccerr and I would always favor the opposing team of your favorite. We would go far away from the noise of the city and just stay in the car and watch the  green fields and hug each other and share blankets to warm us. And everytime it would rain, we would go out on our bikes and enjoy it. That was how we loved each other. We kissed each other like it was our first time and we told each other “I love you” like there was no tomorrow. You told me.

You told me that I fell inlove with you at first sight. What you didn’t know was when you came in that door in my ward, I fell in love with you at first sight.