The sun penetrated the soft waves of the ocean, creating an illusion of a made-of-diamonds stream. With it were the shadows of flying birds that seemed to migrate to another place. The calming sound of the waves seemed to peace her mind. The sand, too, made her at comfort.

She was never a fan of summer. Though her name means swimming, she was never fond of it. Adding the event that has happened now, she is sure she will never be.

“Sooyoung…” She heard a soft voice coming from afar. She did not look back—that voice definitely belonged to her step brother—and just walked her trail. “Hey.”

“What is it, Chanyeol?” Her voice did not show annoyance or any waver, even though her feelings were contained and suppressed in her heart.

The boy who is two years younger followed her path. “Dad is looking for you. I actually did not expect to find you here.”

Even when Chanyeol is just another name relative, Sooyoung is close to him. He was the one who mend her heart at times like this—when her grandmother died, when her boyfriend left her, and when her friends dumped her for some es. He knows her hatred towards summer, and as far as he is concerned, he wants to help her.

“Is that so?” She smiled half-heartedly. “I didn’t know why my feet dragged me here.”

He gave her a small pat on the shoulders. “Let’s go back, Sooyoung. The rites will about to begin.”

 

***

“Everyone finds it weird and funny, too.”

The little girl with flowers on her short, wavy hair jumped in surprise when a cold shot of ocean waves penetrated her small feet. The boy beside her did not feel cold, though. He gave her his best smile, unable to frown even though the other kid was freezing.

“I don’t. It’s cute, your parents naming you after a sport.”

She gave him a small shrug. “Actually, they named me after my grandmother.” She seemed too proud after saying it. “Your name somewhat sounds familiar, though.”

“Ah, yes.” He sprawled some sand over the castle they tried to build. “My parents gave me a very common name. Not that I don’t want it… I actually like my name.”

“Why?” She looked at his eyes with confusion. “Your name should describe you. If many people have the same name, how will you distinguish them?”

“I’m good-looking,” he laughed. She threw him a look before he continued, “I’m the only Kim Kibum who is five years old, good-looking and Choi Sooyoung’s friend.”

 

***

She cannot feel anything. Smile, frown, poker face—name all expressions and she cannot even do it. Her face felt numb, even her twitching fingers felt nothing.

Everyone knows why she loathes summer. Even the sound of it brings nothing but horror to her ears. No one actually realized that before this event happened, she was on the verge of forgetting everything that summer has brought her, and just live freely and be someone who loves being under the sun…even for a while, that is.

“She really looks beautiful for a sixty years old lady.” She followed the gaze of the 185 centimeter giant which was directed to the old lady (who looks nothing like her age) with bronze curls, semi-tanned skin and petite body. Just by looking at her eyes, someone can tell she has not slept for ages. Even with her beauty aura, sadness can be drawn from her face.

Chanyeol continued his awestruck speech with, “Beneath her beauty is a sad, agonizing woman, though.”

“Can’t you stop your blabbering for a while?” She hissed but not really looking a little bit irritated. “I want to hear her speech.”

“But she barely said anything yet.”

“Oh.”

Surely, she was spacing out. Whatever it was that brought to her to another dimension, she was positive that it only meant one thing.

 

***

“I never understood why you love summer so much.”

An eight-year-old boy with two awkwardly short front teeth paddled his way towards the younger one standing on the edge of the pool. He was a late bloomer that explained the gum structure he had, but nevertheless he was an eye-catcher to anyone.

“I don’t know,” the girl chuckled, “I get to spend a lot of time with my family, I guess.”

She stood there, waiting for him to get out of the water. Choi Sooyoung, eight years old, befriended the little boy named Kim Kibum, for she thought he is the best. After their first meeting (a lot of questioning about their names—who could blame innocent five year olds back then?), they saw each other a lot the day after.

Not a yearly routine for the two children, though.  

Sooyoung was from Seoul; she lived her early life in the suburban of the city. She grew up with a gold spoon on , but she lived like a normal child. Yes, she gets what she wants but she never really does things—throwing tantrums if she does not get what she wants—regular spoiled children do.

Kibum, on the other hand, grew up in the beautiful province of Daegu. His family is wealthy, too, but lived a life of a farmer’s. His father wanted nothing but independent children, so he pushed his family to simple life. He, being the third out of four children, is a carefree little boy who does nothing but things whatever and whenever happiness is involve.

They met in one of Kibum’s family resorts—the one with the beautiful sea that seeks through everyone’s emotions—when Sooyoung’s father wanted vacation from the city. “Let’s take a look at the beautiful life of simplicity,” he said. Their first meeting did not involve Park Chanyeol, though, because he was ‘adopted’ years later. Kibum’s three siblings were not, either, because they were too busy (or Kibum was just really outgoing). Ever since then, the Choi family yearly comes to the resort as they also formed a new bond of friendship with the family.

“How about you, Kibum? Do you like summer?”

“I’m not really sure,” he said. He finally came out of the water, and he was actually drying his wet body with the towel she provided. “But I like swimming.”

“I hate myself for not knowing how to swim.” She frowned when drops of water lingered her skin—all thanks to Kibum’s hair. “I’m not scared to learn, though.”

“It’s just easy, Sooyoung.” He held her small hands, dragging her towards the beach chair near the grill. “Swimming is easy, as long as you are not afraid of the water.”

“Hmm…”

***

She remembered the day she started loathing the season of heat. It was very clear to her what had happened, and it was always very vivid in her memory.

“I love you. You know that.”

The voice that was so melodious sounded very weak in her ears. She, after hearing it, was showered with kisses and hugs that she knew she would never receive again.

“Mom, don’t.”

She tried to stop her. She really did. Sooyoung knew how strong her mom seemed to be, but she was just like a glass vase that can be broken anytime soon. When she knew about Sooyoung’s dad having an affair with someone in their company, she kept it all in. What crashed her was how the woman kept boggling their life.

“I’ll stay away.”

She did not know what to do. Her mom was filled with words she cannot comprehend, and her heart that time kept on thumping very hard in her ribcages. She felt it would just jump out of her body. Her mind was filled with worry that she cannot think straight. Even calling the police cannot be processed.

She saw her mom walking towards the kitchen; her eyes were blank and emotionless. She guessed it was because of how hurt she was (the woman just kept sending death threats to them), but she blamed herself for not comforting her mom.

She was too busy enjoying the summer which she celebrated alone with Kibum. Her parents were the ones left in their house, and it sparked everything.

Blaming herself came first, before blaming the people involved. There she was, standing in front of her mom who had a knife touching the skin of her neck. She screamed. It was so loud and clear but no one can hear her cries.

“Mom! Stop what you are trying to do!”

“Don’t come close.” Her voice was calm and peaceful as the ocean with low waves. “Sooyoung, don’t come close.”

“No mom! I… please, don’t do that!”

“I… I love you, Sooyoung.”

Her thoughts were interrupted once again when Chanyeol nudged her. “Sooyoung…”

“What?”

“They… They are calling you.” He sighed. “It’s your turn now.”

 

***

She dragged herself to this.

In front of her was her childhood friend who she last saw three years ago. Choi Sooyoung was twenty;; Kibum was twenty-one. He saw changes from her physical appearance, but he admitted how she changed beautifully. He nearly sighed at how beautiful she had become. And yes…he missed her so much.

“Why are you here?” He boldly asked though there was no hidden meaning behind it.

She looked at him with scarred eyes. “Grandma died, and I had nowhere else to go.”

“You banned this place in your heart. You told me five years ago.”

Flash of light covered all her thoughts that second. She saw herself standing in front of him; her weakest state to be ever flaunted to him. He looked so sad just by looking at her tired eyes.

He knew all of it.

How she hated herself that moment.

 

“Kibum-ah,” her seventeen-year-old self spoke with so much fear, “I want to…”

“Shhh…” He, at eighteen, gently wrapped his improving muscular arm around her waist. When she leaned her head to his shoulder, he knew how weak she really was at that point. “Just let it all out.”

“I cannot find a way to not blame myself, Kibum-ah,” she cried. Her muffled voice just gave another heartbreak to the boy. He fully enveloped her body on his, allowing more space for her to cry on. He felt his shirt to be damp in an instant, not that he minded it.

“Don’t blame yourself, Soo…” His voice assured safety and comfort, but she cannot just leave the thoughts away. “Please… You’re much more than that.”

She lifted her head up, finding a serene ocean in his eyes. There she saw her younger self—the one who lives happiness and loves summer to the core. There she witnessed how Kibum made her feel something she never felt before, but she just threw it all away for her reason was she was really young at that age. Now, there was nothing she could think; any excuse will not suffice at how her heart thumped right at the moment.

That was when her lips captured his.

It was a chaste, simple kiss that left Kibum breathless. His eyes were all open at the sudden attack, but his heart cried out of joy. The moment the seal was broken, he looked at her with so much passion.

“Sooyoung…”

“Please don’t leave me, Kibum.” She hugged him. She felt it would be right. “Don’t leave me like how my mother left me.”

“I will not…” He caressed her back that brought shiver to her body. “But promise me not to blame yourself again.”

“How can I not blame myself? I caused my mother’s death—”

Her sentence was cut by his lips crashing against hers. Before, it was just a lip-to-lip attachment. Now, it was a mind-numbing one. No tongue, but it made Sooyoung’s (and Kibum’s as well) feet weak. It lasted for a while.

It could be the most perfect kiss in the world: two hearts that silently scream love for each other, only afraid of letting go. But then she pushed him away.

He saw fear in her eyes for the second time. “Sooyoung?”

“I… I caused this!” She stood up, only making Kibum more worried. “If I were not with you last summer, I could have saved my mother!”

“What?” He tried not to stutter, but he was really nervous of her words. “What are you—?”

“If you didn’t…” She tried to find appropriate words while she heaved. “If you didn’t invite me here, I would have saved her! She will not commit suicide in front of my face, and my dad will not marry the woman and I would not have a step-brother named Chanyeol— Get off of me, Kibum!”

He felt how emotional she was, and how she hated him—or them—at the moment. Whatever brought Sooyoung into this was questionable to him. “Why are you doing this?”

“Get away from me! I don’t want to go to this place anymore!”

With that, he saw the last track of Sooyoung in the place he anticipates to go just because of her.

 

He looked at her. He really looked at her and found how much she looked like the fragile Sooyoung three years ago, but evidently became more beautiful.

“I just want to find peace in this place.”

“How is that?”

“I… I came looking for you.”

 

***

She stood there, as if the podium was waiting for her to speak. She looked at her brother, wanting to find calmness in his round eyes.

“My name’s Choi Sooyoung…” She started awkwardly. “I… I actually don’t know where to begin.”

She had not said anything yet, but her eyes were filled with tears. “I never really thought of going here after a few years. I studied in Japan for quite a while, and started working as soon as I graduated.”

What are you blabbering, she thought and punched herself.

“What am I saying?” She chuckled as she tried to ease the pain in her heart. “I think some of you know how much I loathed this season so much that I wanted to erase it in my calendar. This season, well, to be very honest, brought so much pain in my heart.

“I actually loved summer when I was ten or so. I met a new friend, and with him my summer is complete. My family actually was very jealous of him because I tend to celebrate it with him. What can I say? He actually completes the season—well, for me.

“So, after what had happened in my family…” She looked at Chanyeol with grateful eyes. “After my mom died, I blamed summer for everything.”

Her tears ran down her colored cheeks, but she did not care about it ruining her unprepared make-up. “And I blamed him for everything. That time, though, I did not say it to him. But when you actually hear the words I used back then, you will say, “Oh, how cruel is she for putting the blame to him.” I was not in my right mind that time. I don’t know how, but what he did just bring another heartache to me.

“I held on the medal—his first gold medal—he got in his second swimming competition for a while now. He gave it to me when we were twelve, and he was so happy that time that he did not really care of losing it just for me. I felt very spoiled that time. It was all because of him.

“The medal was the only memory of him I had when I went to Japan. I did not say how sorry I was when I blamed him everything. Time ; everyone knows that. They say it heals wounds. But I can be very honest of my opposition.

“It didn’t heal my wounds. I was in pain all the time, though I can still focus, but it just hurts.

“I haven’t got the chance to say this to him after I left, but… Kim Kibum, I love you.” Her voice cracked due to the intense sadness she felt. She cannot look at the people in front of her; they were busy muffling their cries or wiping away their hot tears. Her speech was simple in words but very heavy in pain. She was very weak. Her brother wanted to reach out to her, but their father stopped him.

“I know it is late,” she continued, “but I want you to know how I loved you the moment we met. How I love you for not leaving my side, even if I left you. How I will always love you… even though you are now gone.”

“But I am sorry, Kibum-ah, for breaking our promise. Because now that you are not with me—not with us—anymore, I want to throw the summer away from the world.”

 

***

“Sooyoung! Sooyoung!” Chanyeol kept on pushing her very tired and sleepless body. His deep voice boomed the room, and she wanted nothing but to curse him for that.

“What?!”

“The news… It’s all over the news!”

With sleepy eyes, she dragged herself to the living room where the television was at. She can hear the loud volume of the appliance (thanks to her very idiotic stepbrother), and she winced at how loud it really was.

But then her eyes shot up after hearing one familiar name. That familiar name that brought happiness to her…but she threw it all away.

“National swimming athlete Kim Kibum died at the age of twenty-six. Police said the cause of death was drowning in unconscious state. A friend of him stated that they were normally water skiing just like the old days, but then his head bumped to the motor controlling the boat they used. That moment was so fast that they realized he was already in the water.

“It was very unfortunate for us to lose a very promising athlete. It is not the irony that he died because of water, but the very reason he died because of something he loves, it is just saddening

“His wake is now in his family’s beach resort in Daegu. It is open to anyone who wants to see him at his very last moment with us. Please pray for the soul of Kim Kibum.”

 

***

The trail of footsteps vanished as the waves erased it. Her feet felt cold, as her heart felt numb. She cannot imagine herself meeting him again, but he was dead. Her unspoken words to him were very useless to mend her heart.

Please don’t blame yourself.

She looked behind him after hearing a strange—but very soft—voice. Finding that no one was following her, she smiled weakly. “Kibum-ah… How can I not blame myself?”

Please don’t blame yourself.

“I know I caused our early separation. I only met you once after I graduated, but then I was so cold at you. But you managed to bring out myself, as always. I never said thank you because I thought I would see you again. I never said goodbye because I don’t want to leave. I never said...” The train of thoughts stopped her for a while. “…I love you because I was afraid of not hearing it back.”

I love you.

 

***

“I know why I love summer, Kibum!”

“Why?”

“I heard my grandmother found her true love during summer…” She thought for a while, before saying, “of the year 1969. She found my grandfather that time!”

The eleven-year-old Kibum smiled at her reason. “That’s really romantic, Sooyoung. I wonder why I love swimming though. You know, my mother said there is a reason for everything. But I don’t really know why I love swimming.”

“Hmm…”

The two kids were in deep thoughts. Thinking about the reason why he loves swimming was very random for kids. But then a bulb appeared in Kibum’s mind. “I know!”

“What? What? What?” She was so excited when he finally thought of a reason. “Come on Kibum, tell me!”

“Maybe because of you!” He laughed. “Maybe because you’re always with me, that’s why I always tend to swim around. You know, your name means swimming.”

“Are you playing with words?”

“No…” He then patted the head of the younger one. “Maybe I love ‘Sooyoung’ so much that I cannot think of any reason why I do it.”

“Are you playing with words again?”

Kibum just laughed at her. Even though he was young—very young—back then, he knew how he felt about Sooyoung.

How he really loves spending his time with Sooyoung.

Because with Sooyoung, everything makes a difference.

And with her, his life is different. Different in color because it is always bright. Different in emotion because it is always happy. Different in words because it is always fluent. Different in feelings because it is always love.

 

t h e  e n d .
total number of words: 3,466

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Author's notes: The plan was never really angst, but the thought of it just made me giddy so I made it angsty. Here is my story for the contest, so I hope you guys like it! Please remember that the italicized ones are from the past. And I think I warned you in the foreword that this is too much of a Sooyoung-centric oneshot, but I found ways for it to bring some magical Sookey moments that will not be awkward and not ruin the centered Sooyoung plot. Let's love Sookey forever, okay? :)

Please, if you have time, upvote the story!

Comments are highly appreciated, though it is submitted to a contest.

Keep on spreading the Sookey love! <3