Just when their lips were about to meet, Kyuhyun bend his head back and laughed. "Hey Mochi, what was that about? For a second I thought that you were going to kiss me!". Feeling how his heart sunk, Henry hurried to put his poker face on. "Hey, you was the one who pulled me closer, I was only satisfying your erted fantasies!" Quickly making up something to his defence, he hugged his friend closer and made some kind of puppy eyes just to annoy the other.

 

"Hey, Hamster, I wasn't asking for a kiss! And stop making these eyes!" Kyuhyun covered his eyes, and pinched Henry's cheeks. "Sure you're a cute hamster, but if you want me you gotta deserve it!" Obviously joking, he got up from the grass again. "Psht, I'm all you want!" Henry pretended to not be intressed and waved with his hand in the air as he wanted Kyuhyun to go away. 

 

In fact, he felt some kind of hurt, since they were so close, but still nothing had changed. It was all as usual. Henry loved Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun didn't love him back the same way. It felt so horrible, since he thought that his love was that obvious, when they were so close like that, bu appearently it wasn't.

 

"Yeah, I guess I'll just have to go and realize that~" Kyuhyun covered his eyes and streched a arm in Henry's direction dramaticly, like it was a scene from some real love drama. Still pretending to not be intressed by the other, Henry turned his face away. "Just go, Kyuhyun!". Faking some tears, Kyuhyun started to walk away.

 

As soon as Henry noticed that he was going that far that he wouldn't hear when he called him, he got up and ran after him. "No, okay, I admit it, I wanted to kiss you, let's go home now". Maybe it was unnecessary to say, but Kyuhyun didn't seem to see it odd. He just laughed, and they got back to their bench, to grab their backpacks and then walk back in the direction of their dorm. 

 

As soon as they opened the door home after a short walk, they were hit by the smell of delicious dinner. The sun had already started to go down, and actually when the wind blew it was just a bit cold. They hurried inside and said hello to everyone, who had been asleep or working when they had been out for school.

 

"Hurry up and go to the table, Teukie have made some delicious dinner kids!" Kangin screamed from the lounge in the most nice tone you could scream. He was sitting with a newspaper, and Henry could really see how Kyuhyun was tempted to run over and poke the "father of Super Junior", but realized it was smarter to not do so. Instead, they dropped their bags outside their rooms, and hurried over to the kitchen. 

 

Almost already you could tell that some of them was missing, probably still at practice or doing other stuff. "So, let's eat now!" Leeteuk clapped his hands together, and everyone started to put up some food on their plates. Henry felt like peeking on something he shouldn't look at when he looked at Kyuhyun. He looked so normal where he sat there at the table, eating the first spoons of his noodles. Even thought he had to admit that it was kind of wierd to sit and watch the one you love eating, but every moment is the right moment. 

 

"Henry, aren't you taking any?" Leeteuk asked very suprised, and was just going to put up some for himself. Slightly shaking his head, waking up from daydreaming again. "Oh, sorry Leeteuk Umma, I will take some right away. It smells delicious!" Forgetting about Kyuhyun for a while, he ate his food, but again then the depressing feeling caught him again.

 

He remembered the moment in the park. For the seconds he thought that they were going to kiss, he felt some kind of really happy. Not the usual very happy when you laughed with your friends or when you could help someone, but in some special way. 

 

"Kyu~ Say aaah~" Sungmin placed his spoon with noodles in front of Kyuhyun and smiled brightly. Sometimes Sungmin was like their own little sun, he could shine on for something that seemed like forever. Turning to Sungmin, Kyuhyun opened his mouth and ate the spoon of soup his friend offered him.

 

When he had swallowed, he took up some on his own spoon and lifted it up in front of their ayego prince. "And now your turn Minnie~". Sungmin ate the soup happily, and giggled like a girl. Well, no one judges him, everyone saw it as cute. 

 

For that moment Henry felt like he wanted to dissappear through the floor. He didn't want to see that happening, he wanted to be the only one for Kyuhyun. The jealousy was driving him mad, since Sungmin was always the one that got Kyuhyun's attention in other ways than just fanservice. There seemed to be something special going on every time he and Kyuhyun was up to something.

 

Until a while ago, it all seemed that Henry was getting all the fanservice when Super Junior M preformed, but, to reveal a secret, Sungmin was going to join Super Junior M, and what was Henry going to do then? Was he just going to watch the two give the fans all fanservie they wanted? Just the thought was making him feel even worse. After a whole day of studying, excluding the incident in the park, he was really hungry, but now all his apetite was gone.

 

He looked at everyone else, who actually didn't seem to notice him being down. 'I guess that's good, I can just sneak off to my room'. Not wanting to hurt Leeteuk's feelings, he ate everything he had put in his bowl, and hurried to thank and run out from the kitchen. The last thing he looked at in the room, was Kyuhyun's eyes. Like he knew that Henry would look at him, like he knew something was going on. But that was ofcourse speculations, ofcourse he didn't know that Henry was hurt. No one knew. 

 

Picking up his back from in front of the door, Henry his in his room and locked the door. He'd like some company, but afraid of it being Kyuhyun or even worse - Sungmin - he rather was on his own the rest of the day. Looking out through the window, he imagined once more Kyuhyun holding him in his arms. Why was just that so tempting? Kyuhyun had held him many times, but, the diffrence was that those times it was all only friendship. He wanted Kyuhyun's real love. Closing the window, he stopped the now cold air from blowing inside, and he pulled on a hoodie over his t-shirt. 

 

Rubbing his eyes softly, he sat down at his desk, and opened his laptop, turning it on. He really had no idea what he would do on the computer, but it just felt like some good distraction from what was going on in the house. As soon as all the programs had started and the screen was lit up by a picture of him, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun taken in school, he smiled, but opened a browser window. He loved that picture, but just then it didn't feel right. 

 

The start page - google - appeared, and Henry sat down, tapping his fingers on the keyboard, not hurried at all to write any page adress or anything. Then he got the idea. All the wierd noonas in school thought that he and Kyuhyun was dating, so, since they actually were very famous, what would he find if he googled his and Kyuhyun's name together. With shaky hands he wrote their names in the search field, and pressed the 'Enter' button.

 

In just some seconds all the results showed up, and he went on to the pictures tab. What he actually saw was making him want to cry. Pictures with words like "I'll love you forever", "My all is in you" and "You're my miracle" were all over. Suddenly someone knocked on the door, and Henry jumped at the suprise. Quickly, he wiped the appearing tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, and went over to open the door. All he did was to unlock it, and went back to his computer, tabbing up another page so no one would see what he just had googled. 

 

"Hey, hamster, thought you'd like another walk in the park or so tonight?..." Kyuhyun was the one entering the room, and suddenly Henry felt more nervous than ever. "Y-Yeah maybe..." he replied stuttering, and tried to seem not intressed in the computer. Obviously, it failed pretty much, since Kyuhyun went over to him, and watched as Henry was scrolling down his facebook page. "Great~ Just tell me when you wanna leave, and then, I'll show you something awesome on the computer!".

 

Smiling, he gently moved Henry's hands from the laptop, and was going to tab up another page, when he accidently tabbed to the page that was up before. Almost as quickly as Henry realized which page Kyuhyun was watching, he klicked it down, and turned the screen from his mate. Confused, Kyuhyun retreated his hands and let them drop by his sides. 

 

"Eh...eh...eh... it was nothing, really". Smiling another unfamous fake smile, Henry pretended. After all those fake smiles, he had gotten used to it. Just protecting his own feelings from getting hurt in a stupid ways, he lied. It could be about if he had gotten jealous, or if he secretly was falling asleep to some of Kyuhyun's solo's set on repeat.

 

"Henry... drop that smile... really, it's worrying me. You seem all like you're hiding something from me. And it seems like you've fooled not just me. Please, can you tell me why you were googling pictues of us?".

 

Shaking his head, Henry tried to keep the smile up. "It was a friend who liked it all to me, Kyu. And I've just been really tired lately, I don't sleep too good at nights... please don't worry for me". Kyuhyun's words were touching, and in fact, all he wanted right now was just to throw himself in the other's arms and cry.

 

Tell him about that all that was making him feel like he does was that he was in love with him. That seeing him with other people was making his heart burst. That all this wierd acting was because of that. And then everything could be just as ususal. Or if everything was even better as it seemed, Kyuhyun maybe loved him back. But he didn't throw himself in the other's arms. He didn't fall for those soft words, trying to convince him to tell all about it.

 

He just simply couldn't if he wanted, it would just end up awkward for the both of them. First he needed Kyuhyun to understand that he liked him, and then he needed to figure out if Kyuhyun loved him back. It sounded so easy in his mind, but actually making it was hard. He had asked Eunhyuk and Donghae like a thousand times what he should do, but he never found the courage to follow their advices. He felt so small and weak. 

 

"You sure? Can I help you in some way... or something?" Kyuhyun asked, and sat down on his bed. He wasn't going to give up on this hamster. He was his friend, and he'd do anything to help him. With a soft sigh, Henry closed the computer down again, just trying to ignore the page he had seen before.

 

"I... I don't know. You already are helping me. Just by being my friend. It's really helping me". "Mochi, you're so precious to me, please, take care of you, and if you're too tired to, let me do it for you". Kyuhyun stepped up, and hugged his friend tightly. If he only knew, that the hug meant something totally diffrent for Henry than for him.