Yuri let out a deep sigh as she leaned back in her chair. With one arm on top of her forehead, she laid there a bit as she recollected her thoughts. The silence enveloped the room, losing touch on reality. The only sound that was heard was her steady breaths.

Slowly opening her eyes and regaining her balance, Yuri turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes rested at the sleeping figure; her little sister lied on her right side, putting pressure onto her right arm as she fell asleep on top of it. Yuri walked over to place the blanket over her sister when she noticed the faint glow of the sun's rays on her sister's face.

Yuri looked over to face the early morning sun just above the horizon. With its soft radiance peaking over the buildings of Seoul, it brought warmth onto its bleak surroundings. Turning her attention across the street, Yuri witnessed the businessman who started his day with his morning coffee drive off in his black BMW. A couple buildings down, a girl in her school uniform rushed out of her apartment complex with a thermos in one hand and study papers in the other, attempting to cram in a bits of information before class. Then there was that park with many trees. Once full of life with so much green, these trees remained bare with its colorful, Autumn leaves blown with the wind, laying rustled and helpless underneath the empty branches. This happened every day outside the somber atmosphere that filled the hospital building...particularly the terminal unit.

Everything in the terminal building remained lifeless, hopeless. The name itself was already depressing. When the whole unit filled with terminally ill patients was labeled as the “terminal unit,” it became a lot harder to look at the brighter side.

Her cheerful laugh pulled at Yuri’s heart. Her silly, obnoxious comments teased Yuri’s sanity. Her utterly hilarious but annoying fan-girling for EXO tested Yuri’s patience.

The Autumn wind crept in from the small opening and blew across her shoulders, causing Yuri to shudder at the cold breeze. Her mind wandered back to the day prior when her younger sister another panic attack. With her condition worsening, night terrors and panic attacks accompanied her, as if her situation wasn't bad enough already.

“I…I c-c-can’t do….t-t-t-this…any….m-more.” Tears filled her eyes as Yuri tried to comfort her and bring her back to her senses.

“It’s just another panic attack. You’re fine. Just breathe. Breathe in.” She inhaled, but her sister did not follow..

“I…I…I really d-d-d-d-don’t w-w-want to d-do this, a-a-anymore. I t-tried…b-b-but I-I’m n-not get….ting b-b-better. I t-t-tried to b-b-b-be s-s-strong, t-tried to t-t-t-think of the good times w-w-with….you , t-t-tried to w-w-withstand the neg-neg-negatives with up-updates on K-K-Kris a-and EXO, b-b-b-but it’s h-hard…I-I just……really…don’t w-want t-t-to…do t-this a-anymore…”

Yuri cringed at the words echoing in her head. She refused to listen to those words, but it definitely took a toll on her emotions.

Not being able to hold herself up, Yuri took a seat at the bedside desk. Tears overwhelmed her thoughts as she broke down into sobs. She felt useless. There was nothing she could do for SaeHee. There was no cure for spinocerebellar ataxia. It was a cruel disease--progressive and irreversible. And it was just heartbreaking, seeing the conditions worsen with time; with SaeHee, the degeneration process was rapid. She was speaking fluently, still able to move fluidly with minor setbacks two years ago. After a year, her movements slowed down drastically. She was not able to walk without assistance and she had great difficulty picking up small things. And now, Saehee was basically as good as dead to the doctors and nurses. There was nothing more they could do for her. And worst of all, there was nothing she could do for her own, dear little sister…

Her eyes snapped open as she surged forward in fright. Panting and gasping for air, Saehee felt her chest contracting with pain but her body wasn’t able to react to the pain.

Breathe, Saehee. Breathe. It’ll be okay. You’re okay.

Yuri’s voice entered her mind, instructing her the basic tactics of life. Following through with the voice in her head, Saehee inhaled a huge gulp of air before exerting the impurities out of her system. After calming down to steady breaths, Saehee decided to do a surveillance check. Scouting the room with her eyes, she noticed her sister lying her head down on the table, fast asleep.

Saehee scrutinized Yuri as she slept so peacefully. A strand of hair tickling her face, her even breathing was interrupted by a series of mumbles before she cringed and unknowingly removed the strand behind her ears, adjusting the position of her head before she released a deep sigh of exhaustion.

Putting her mind into pulling herself up from the lying position, Saehee was already exhausted by the time she succeeded. It took immense will to make small movements. And it took a lot of patience to speak a simple sentence, yet alone a simple word. In addition to all that, she had a severe case of tremors and panic attacks. Breathing became difficult for her as well. It wasn’t second nature anymore.

Listening to her rhythmic breathing relaxed her. It reminded her that she was still alive. However, even living became troublesome.

To everyone…especially to Yuri Unnie…

Her mind drifted to yesterday. The way her sister looked at her. Panic-stricken. Uneasy. Full of concern. But at the same time, strong and determined. Yuri gave her instructions, words put into simple arrangements that were easy to understand. With Saehee’s condition only deteriorating, her mind was only able to take in so much complications. And she couldn’t stand it anymore…

Other than her older sister, Saehee had one other person she placed highly in her life. That person was Kris from EXO. She admitted it was creepy how much she knew about him. Ask her anything about EXO, particularly Kris, and she was able to answer it on the spot. She respected him as much as she did her sister. She extolled him for his compassion, for his extreme patience, and for his hard work. Thus, she tried hard not to complain about her situation, because somewhere out there, Kris was going through so much more.

But with her life slipping from her grip, her movements monitored by others, and her speech irreversibly impaired, it became extremely difficult not to complain as life was beyond her control. All she could rely on is her will to live.

Breathe, SaeHee. Breathe.

That phrase kept her living. Breathe. The crucial aspect of life that was second nature in most individuals needed to be reminded…constantly. The inhalation of pure oxygen in the isolation room of the terminal unit and the exhalation of carbon dioxide remained only as a set of instructions to Kim SaeHee. However, she followed them quite well, depending on the sound of her sister breathing and then staying silent to check if she, herself, was breathing. To SaeHee, life was a series of simple actions and reactions. She would witness an action and normally try to imitate it as a reaction. And breathing was that critical reaction that she often observed in others.

Yet again, her will to live was becoming weaker. And it was yesterday she admitted that she couldn’t go on with it. That she didn’t want to go on with it anymore…