A/N: I'm surprised at my own productivity, but I guess I've been keeping my eyes glued to SJ stuff for a while so it explains the efficiency rate, haha. Anyway, this is becoming a monster of a fic, and this latest one is even more experimental than usual, so I have to apologize if it doesn't meet your expectations. 

Thank you for the lovely comments and subscriptions! I'm more than a little surprised since it hasn't been more than 2 months since I stepped into the fandom, but I am very very thankful! If there are any inaccuracies, please let me know and I will try my best to fix them. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the read!

Three

It’s clear from the very beginning that Donghae stands no chance against Kyuhyun. It’s going to be a bloody massacre, and he is sorry to say that despite his fondness for Donghae, he’s still going to savor every minute of it.

“Hyung, you look really pathetic following Hyukjae around like a lost puppy, you know that, right?” Kyuhyun’s smile is positively wicked as he watches Donghae’s mouth open and close soundlessly like the fish he’s been nicknamed after by fans.

It’s only the first round and Donghae’s already having trouble. Heechul shakes his head.  

Donghae’s mouth is already set in a frown when he resumes the game. “I know,” he replies mildly, although his eyes tell a different story altogether. “You know that you’re the worst dancer in all of Super Junior right?”

Still, he’s got to applaud the kid for trying, even if it’s a lost cause. He wants to shake Donghae by the shoulders and tell him to do it more seriously, his opponent is the maknae for ’s sake and how the hell does he plan to win over Hyukjae if he can’t even eliminate Kyuhyun from the equation?

“I know.” Kyuhyun smiles a little, and despite himself the hairs on the back of Heechul’s head stand up. Kyuhyun isn’t half-bad looking (and that’s saying something by the great Heechul’s standards), honestly, but he’s obviously not had much practice in proper smiling. He ends up looking either awkward or creepy, or sometimes both. He supposes in this case, that was the point. “But you know that you’re the worst singer among us, right?”

Heechul winces sympathetically as Donghae’s expression changes from murderous to a teeth-baring smile in a matter of seconds. It’s a painful truth that out of all of the fifteen members, Donghae has the least stability when it comes to singing. Him, and maybe Siwon, he amends. Heechul isn’t a fantastic singer by a long shot, but he’s listened to Donghae sing on stage for years and knows that there are particularly bad days when the kid’s too short of breath from all the tricky dance moves he and Hyukjae execute and can barely hold his notes together.  

Kyuhyun’s statement hits a little too close to home, and Donghae looks shaken when he answers, “I know.” There is an uneasy silence that permeates the air. Is Donghae going to continue, or is he just going to give up? No, he won’t give up that easily. Heechul won’t let him, not when he’s watched over the two inseparable brats all these years and he is certain that Donghae will careen down a path of self-destruction if he lets the right to be at Hyukjae’s side slip through his fingers without even trying to fight back.

“You know,” Donghae’s eyes have turned cold, “that the other members, the fans and the company are all on my side when it comes to Hyukjae, right?” Heechul smirks his approval. An unspoken threat, is it? Certainly the company wouldn’t want to jeopardize their cash cows, the well-loved EunHae, not when for Donghae it’s an all-or-nothing and he wouldn’t put it past the kid to leave Super Junior altogether and drag Hyukjae away with him citing some such ridiculous reason like ‘Kyuhyun/SM Entertainment was trying to break EunHae apart’ and of course the fans would eat it up, anti-fans would exponentially increase and Kyuhyun would end up the villain. Donghae probably hasn’t even thought that far, but he seems to be aware that he has the power to influence the top brass and the fanbase.

This isn’t a game anymore for Donghae.

Kyuhyun must sense it too, but he maintains his poker face and meets Donghae’s stony gaze. “Yeah, I know.” He sounds sincerely resigned to the last statement. Unconsciously Heechul tightens his grip. How does Kyuhyun plan to regain the upper hand? Just as the maknae’s lips move, the door swings wide open and Kangin steps inside.

He hardly has time to survey the three frozen faces in front of him before Heechul regains his wits. “You idiot!” He hisses (it is a far cry from the cutesy voice he uses whenever he takes on the ‘Heesica’ persona, and hearing it would probably upset a multitude of his fans). “Why can’t you read the mood here?”

As he pours himself water from the fridge and takes a seat on the table with them, Kangin doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. Instead, he narrows his eyes at Heechul. “What exactly have I interrupted here?” Heechul glares at him. This was a good opportunity to see Kyuhyun finally heads with an unusually angry Donghae, and he’s gone and spoiled all the fun. Donghae isn’t the type to get angry for very long, and if things go awry, Heechul will have to call Hyukjae because his best friend has locked himself inside his room and then the two of them will have a crying jag together. The last image makes him internally roll his eyes.

“You know that Hyukjae’s ually attracted to me and not to you, right?” At the abrupt sound of Kyuhyun’s voice speaking Heechul clenches his fist involuntarily and all hell breaks loose.

Youngwoon spits out his drink and roars, “WHAT?!?”

Donghae leaps to his feet and snarls something, presumably “LIKE HELL!!!” and looks like he’s going to throttle Kyuhyun well and good, and Heechul would enjoy the scene of carnage more, except…

“, Heebum!” His own pet cat has betrayed him and won’t stop attacking his arms. No, not the face, Heebum! Not the face! Christ, how could he have forgotten that he was holding Heebum the entire time?

He barely escapes the one-sided scuffle with his face intact, but there are several long, shallow scratches on his arms. He glances at the feline sourly, but Heebum has gotten bored and saunters out, and Heechul can’t blame him. Human matters have nothing to do with his pet cat, after all. Honestly, this bizarre love triangle isn’t directly related to him either, but the two morons invaded his room and demanded that he help them settle who gets Hyukjae.

At first he’d tried his best to objectively think about it. Donghae had a longer history with Hyukjae, but since the 2007 car accident Kyuhyun had become progressively closer to him as well. Heechul thought of Donghae as his own younger brother, but Kyuhyun was a man after his own heart. The main difference, really, was Hyukjae’s attitude when dealing with both of them. Donghae, being the hopeless idiot that he was, was extremely dependent on other people, resulting in a confusing relationship that had Hyukjae acting as parent, brother, best friend and would-be lover all at the same time. With Kyuhyun, who could clearly take care of himself and wanted to be treated as an equal rather than as the youngest, Hyukjae’s role was more clear-cut, and despite the difference in ages, Kyuhyun was intelligent, dependable and mature (sometimes). If Heechul were a potential mother-in-law, he had no doubts that he would have chosen Kyuhyun.

But he isn’t, and he can’t read Hyukjae’s mind, either. Logic doesn’t apply to love, as he’s learnt the hard way, and he can’t bear to imagine Donghae’s face crumble if he says he thinks Kyuhyun is the better match.

He listens quietly to Donghae and Kyuhyun relate their dilemma to Kangin, who nods, asks a few questions, and then lets them continue their story. If possible, he wants them both to get their happy ending, but if they like the same person…

If they like the same person…

Heechul slaps his hand on the table excitedly. “That’s it! You can just share!”

“Share?” They both echo blankly. Kangin’s eyes widen.

“You can’t mean…?”

Heechul sighs. Slow as usual. “Well, that’s of course only if Hyukjae agrees to it, but it’s not like it hasn’t been done before. Just divide up the days or something. Oh, and I’m assuming both of you want to sleep with him?” The last question isn’t really necessary in Kyuhyun’s case, but Donghae is more complicated. There’s no harm in making sure his interest in Hyukjae is not just platonic.

Kyuhyun doesn’t hesitate. “I want to his brains out,” he manages to say with a straight face just before Donghae kicks him under the table, hard. Kangin sighs but doesn’t intervene. While Kyuhyun is left grimacing and rubbing at his leg, Donghae looks at Heechul intently.

“What if I don’t want to share?”  

If there’s something he has to give Donghae credit for, it’s tenacity. He’s always been the possessive sort, so the idea of sharing Hyukjae can’t sit well with him.

Heechul winks at Donghae. “Let me know so I can help you bury the body.”

“I am not going to support a ménàge-à-trois, Heechul,” Kangin warns him. “And I think we need to tell Teukie-hyung what’s going on.”

Aah, that’s right, they need to tell Leeteuk. They probably should ask his advice, seeing as both he and Kangin have been away for a while and aren’t exactly privy to what the three fools have been up to.

Heechul grins mischievously to himself. A ménàge-à-trois, huh?

Sounds like fun.