[2 months later]

(Hyukjae POV)

Dance classes were in full gear , Tony my dance instructor, managed to convince me to take part in a couple of different dance competitions, even though I told him several times that I didn't want to . I ended up winning the finals for three out of four of them . Although I was tentative to compete , it felt good to be back on stage after such a long time.

My birthday was in two days and I could sense that Sora and Mom are planning something huge this year and something tells me that Sungmin is equally in on it . All three of them act so weird when ever they are around me , like they all are trying to avoid me so they don't accidently spill out the secret.

I think I know the reason why , they want to cheer me up , cause lately I have been feeling down and have not been myself. I appreciate that they are concerned for me but I just want to be left alone , I don't want anyone's help ...... mainly because I couldn't tell anyone the reason for why I was like this. To be honest , I think I have moved on , I still think about it all but not as much anymore . Refocusing on my dance classes has helped take my mind off and Sungmin as well, has been a great support. He doesn't ask many questions, I think cause he realizes that I don't want to talk about what's bothering me , he understands.

Exams are also in exactly a week and I have been studying hard for them . I want to get the highest grades possible so I can prove to dad that my dance classes are not distracting me from school and maybe he will come around to accepting my ambition of becoming a choreographer and my dream of opening my own talent agency . I doubt it though, I think that is one thing that dad will never accept in his entire life , that is something that he will always hold  against me no matter what I do.

I hadn't seen or talked to Kyuhyun or Ryeowook in a while. Truthfully, I tried to stay away from everything related to him, I tried to avoid everything that had to do with Donghae and hanging out with his best friends would be wrong .

Ryeowook and Kyuhyun have become close friends of mine as well , but I know that if I see them and talk  to them , I will not be able to help myself from asking about him ....... but what I was more scared about was that everything will return to like it used to be and I would go back to the same position I was in before. I won't be able to keep myself away from him again and I will lose myself in him once more . I will not only hurt myself , but him as well.  I was staying away not just for my own sake but because I didn't want to keep my hopes up for something that I know will never happen. I wanted to let him go and wanted him to continue on his own life the way he wanted to . I didn't want to hold him back from living his life.

[2 days later]

The day is here , my birthday . A day that others seemed more excited about than I did but the weird thing is that nobody wished me anything today, both mom and Sora were gone when I came downstairs this morning and Sungmin and the other guys didn't call or texted me either.

I was kind of relived that maybe they had forgotten about it because I hated getting too much attention.

I had to hand in a assignment so there was no way of escaping classes for today .

I went to all my classes for once in a long time and when I was done ,it was already 7:00 pm and out of nowhere, I received a text message from Sungmin saying that he had a problem and wanted me to come right over .

What the heck was going on today ? All day I heard nothing from anyone and now suddenly Sungmin is at this unknown place, asking me to come instantly. I called him to ask what was going on but he didn't pick up and instead texted me the address of this place that I have never heard of before .

I was getting frustrated from this whole guessing game and was feeling tired as heck , I spent over four hours at the dance studio practicing and now just wanted to go home and rest.

I didn't think about it anymore , I was too exhausted and just arrived at the place that Sungmin had mentioned .

It was a building , not to big in size. There was glass walls all around but everything inside was dark , it seemed as if no one was inside .

Why did Sungmin ask me to come here ? I felt hesitant to go inside and was about to turn back  but I remembered  that Sungmin had mentioned that he was in some sort of trouble , so I went inside to see what was going on.

I pushed open the heavy glass doors and slowly stepped in. Everything was pitch dark.

"Sungmin ? Sungmin? Hello ?" I called out and my voice echoed.

There was absolutely no sound what so ever.

"Sungmin?" I called out one last time before heading back out and suddenly all the lights came on , blinding me.

"Happy Birthday Hyukjae !" Everyone jumped up and yelled out.

My head was spinning from the sudden lights and shouts .

I blinked a couple of times to grasp onto what was exactly going on.

Everyone was there. Mom, Sora, Sungmin , Henry , Leeteuk, Kangin, Heechul, Shindong, and some other friends and family relatives.

Sora walked up to me holding a cake in her hands .

"Come on make a wish and blow out the candles ! " Everyone shouted with huge smiles on their faces.

I couldn't help but smile too. Everyone looked so happy and excited .

I closed my eyes and took a few seconds to think about what I wanted to exactly wish for and blew out the candles. When I opened my eyes , everyone was standing just a few steps away from me . Everyone gathered around and started singing happy birthday , I could sense the warm blood gushing to my face . It was embarrassing cause  suddenly I felt like a five year old again but I smiled and thanked everyone.

"What is this place ?" I couldn't help but wonder because out of all the places, why did they choose to surprise me here, not that I minded.

It was a beautiful studio. The white bright ceiling lights reflected of the newly done wood floors and the mirrors on the walls shinned as the lights bounced off of them. It was a dream dance studio , I felt like turning on the music and just dancing . Something about the place was so inviting and warm.

 "Just to let you guys know , I kind of already expected this , all you have been acting so strange lately! But thanks guys !" I added.

"Dear, how do you like it ?" Mom came up to me and held onto my arm tightly and had a bright smile on her face.

"Oh ! Yeah, it was a nice surprise ! Thanks for coming everyone !" I said.

"No, not that ! The studio silly !" Mom said with even more excitement.

"Yeah the studio is beautiful , but what about it ?" I really didn't understand where mom was going with this.

I looked at everyone and they all seemed like they were eagerly waiting for something , all of their eyes were wide open and staring at me , waiting for me to say something.

"What ?" I asked , feeling embarrassed. I was definitely missing out on something important.

"This is your studio dear ! This is your very own dance studio ! Happy birthday baby !" Mom said and hugged me tightly.

My eyes grew wide open. What ? Mom bought me a studio ? A dance studio ?

"This is your very own place . You can teach dance classes here and give it your own name ." Mom said.

With that said , the rest of the night went on. Everyone stayed at the studio even past midnight. There was food , wine , games and all sorts of other silly things that Sora and Sungmin had planned out . Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

I quietly got up , while everyone was busy laughing and talking and  went outside.

I stood at the entrance and looked at the studio.

Wow, this is really my own place. Somewhere I can escape to and just be myself and do what I love , dance.

I couldn't express how happy I felt right now . I couldn't believe that mom did this for me , even while knowing that dad was completely against it all. How did she manage to keep this a secret from him?

Whatever it was , all I knew was that I loved this studio already. It was really the best birthday gift I had ever received.

That night I signed the property papers and now the studio was officially under my name.

I went back inside to look for mom , she was talking  to Sora and Henry . Without saying anything I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you mom , thanks for everything. I love you ." I told her .

"I love you too dear, I just want you to be happy and do what you love . " She ran her fingers through my hair and hugged me tightly.

"Mom ...... what about dad ?" I asked still hugging her .

"Let's not worry about that right now, just enjoy your birthday dear."

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Days went on and mom had given me something new to focus on . I guess the studio was her way of cheering me up , cause she knew that I took dad's words to heart and thought that maybe that's the reason I have been so down lately.

All my focus was on the studio now , it was a lifelong dream that I was finally getting a chance to fulfill now. Sora, Henry and Sungmin often came by and helped me decorate the studio . I loved how it looked now , it truly represented who I am.

Mom started advertising the grand opening of the studio to everyone , even to her business clients and boys and girls were already signing up for my dance classes.

In a few weeks everything will be completely ready and I can finally begin teaching the dance classes.

However , right now I had to focus on the final exams , one which is tomorrow .

I left the studio early in order to go home and study.

[Next Morning]

I didn't want to come to this class , in fact I haven't attended this class were since Donghae and I last met.

I walked into the exam room , swallowing hard , knowing what I was about to come face to face with.

I lowered my head and quietly walked inside , trying my best to appear inexistent.

I took a seat in one of the top end rows. The rest of the students were quickly rushing into the room now and taking their seats as well . There was only twenty minutes left before the exam starts.

I closed my eyes and began  reviewing the material for the exam .

Five minutes later , I heard a familiar voice .

"Hyukjae ? Where have you been all this time ?" Kyuhyun came and sat on the empty seat next to me.

My heart started beating faster . I knew that Ryeowook and Donghae were not far away .

"Oh, hi ! How are you ?" I stuttered out.

"You just disappeared suddenly and never showed up to class ? What happened ?" Kyuhyun asked again.

"Oh , nothing! I have been busy with stuff ." I managed to say.

After a few minutes Ryeowook arrived as well and took a seat next to us.

I was waiting. Suddenly , I wanted to see him , it's been weeks since we met last. I missed him so badly.  Just hearing his voice once would be  enough.

I looked around desperately for him. I know I was moving on but that didn't change the fact that I missed him and wanted to know how he was doing. That was the same thing I went to sleep thinking about every night.

My heart ached, the desperation of wanting to have him in front of my eyes once again came over me . The presence of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook only made me want to see him even more. It reminded me of the way he laughed and let himself go whenever he was with them . I wanted to see him smile , once again. I wanted to stare into his deep eyes and get lost in them . I wanted to hold his warm hand in between mine one more time and tell him that I still thought about him everyday.

I waited for him but when he didn't show up , I finally asked .

"Kyuhyun , where's Donghae?"

Kyuhyun and Ryeowook both froze and looked at each other . There was a sudden fall of unease and sadness on their faces. Neither of them said anything.

"What is it ? Where's Donghae ? He has to write this exam too , why isn't he here yet ?" I asked again demandingly.

When they still didn't say anything , my heart sank into my chest. I knew something was not right .

"Guys , say something ? Where is Donghae ?" I pleaded.

"Hyukjae ......... Donghae didn't tell you ?" Ryeowook asked in a low apologetic voice.

"Asked me what ? No he didn't tell me anything ! What is going on ?" I didn't realize how loud my voice had become. All the students were turning back to look at us now .

I slammed my fist on the desk and stood up , feeling frustrated out of my mind. I didn't know what was going on and no one was telling me . I felt scared suddenly, I wanted to know but at the same time I was terrified to find out , not knowing what I might do.

"Hyukjae ........ Donghae want back to Korea , it's been two weeks now." Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun pulled on my arm to make me sit back down .

My head went blank , I felt rage shoot through my body .

So this is how he decides to escape from it all ? He left me here suffering on my own , while he went back to Korea ? Who did he go back for , Siwon ? How could he not even tell me something like this? How can he just get up and leave ?

I felt mad , flustered , betrayed and let down. How can he just leave like this , without even seeing me once. I would have never let him go. I would have done everything to get him to stay.

"Hyukjae ................... his little brother passed away." Kyuhyun's words fired through my ears one after another.

 I felt weak all of a sudden . I couldn't feel anything anymore . My mind refused to make sense of what was going on . I didn't want to hear anything , I wish I hadn't come here today.

Donghwa......... Donghwa ?   No, Donghwa couldn't just leave us. He couldn't leave Donghae just like that ! I didn't believe them , I couldn't believe them ! Donghaw was getting better , then how can he .......... no ! I was not going to believe anything that anyone told me . I needed to see Donghae for myself . Donghwa was still here , he had to be here . Donghwa was the only reason Donghae was still living . Donghwa was his whole world and without his little brother , Donghae would die.

I felt terrified . I didn't know what was going on in Donghae's head right now and it killed me to know that I was so far away from him and couldn't be with him right now but I knew that Donghae was going to do something reckless . I had to go to him before........... before it is too late. Without Donghae I won't be able to live.