Chapter 6 [Understanding and Empathy]

*A/N~ Sorry that this isn’t the Myungsoo insight chapter, but I felt compelled to write this one today. Read on!

                Myungsoo was hurting.

                Just seeing Myungoo’s forehead crease in such obvious distress was enough to send Sungyeol’s emotions spiraling down into a deep pit of uneasiness. Something had happened to his back (Sungyeol didn’t know what), and no movement that Myungsoo made didn’t cause him pain. Exactly a week had passed since Sungyeol and Myungsoo had reconciled each other in the school bathroom, and Sungyeol had been flying on Cloud Nine the entire time. He had asked Myungsoo to hang out over the weekend, but Myungsoo had been hurting, something off with his back, and that was when Sungyeol’s giddy high began to fade.

                Something was wrong with Myungsoo.

                From the minute that Myungsoo had walked into the classroom, unsteady on his feet, Sungyeol’s eyes had sharpened, and he watched Myungsoo with careful eyes. He saw Myungsoo rest his head on Taeyeon’s shoulder, as though the weight of the world was too much for Myungsoo to bear, and he was simply out of energy to hold it anymore. For the first time, watching how some of the pain and stress melted from Myungsoo’s face when he lay on Taeyeon, Sungyeol did not feel the bitter pang of jealousy, and instead felt gratitude that somebody was making Myungsoo feel better, no matter how slightly.

                During the first of Sungyeol and Myungsoo’s classes, Sungyeol kept his eyes on Myungsoo, moving to assist him whenever he saw a spasm of pain illuminate Myungsoo’s countenance. He pulled Myungsoo to his feet carefully, from where they had been receiving CPR certification, and upon Myungsoo’s faint admittance of pain, Sungyeol’s heart broke. One hand under Myungsoo’s arm, the other gripping Myungsoo’s hand with just enough pressure to raise him to his feet, Sungyeol became aware for the first time just how fragile Myungsoo truly was. Granted, he was one of the toughest people that the elder knew, controlling his emotions with acute and precise detail, his frame was so slight, his arms so thin, and his hands so slender, he gave the impression of being increasingly delicate.

                “Can I come show you some pictures during lunch? They’re of VIXX, and they are hysterical,” Sungyeol said, walking beside Myungsoo to the next class.

                “If you want,” Myungsoo answered quietly.

                “Are you sure?” Sungyeol queried, dropping his voice a bit.

                “If you want,” Myungsoo repeated, his voice even softer.

                Sungyeol nodded. His request to show pictures was just a ruse to get close to Myungsoo and see if his friend was indeed alright, as he insisted that he was.

                After that class, Sungyeol sat through his fourth period, and then his fifth, thinking of the past week, and thinking of Myungsoo. Was he truly alright? On his rush to get out of the building, he bypassed his girlfriend, and didn’t even feel a shred of remorse when he heard her calling him, and just kept walking. Not far ahead, he saw Myungsoo standing absolutely still, and Sungyeol increased his speed just a little.

                Reaching him, Sungyeol slowed to a stop, and rested his head on a pillar, and looked at Myungsoo through the blur of his hair. Myungsoo was shaking, his eyes tightly shut, and hot worry flashed through Sungyeol. Raising his eyes to look around (Where was Taeyeon? Myungsoo needed her more than he needed Sungyeol right now, and she was nowhere in sight), Sungyeol’s attention returned sharply when he saw Myungsoo turn to the low wall beside him, and shudder.

                “Let me take your bag,” Sungyeol said, more of a demand than a question, and Myungsoo whispered a soft “please” and allowed Sungyeol to slip his bag off of his shoulders. No sooner had Sungyeol straightened from resting the bag on the wall, than Taeyeon hurried up. Without pause, Myungsoo turned and rested his head on her shoulder, and Taeyeon moved to set whatever it was that she was carrying down, and wrap her arms around Myungsoo.

                Again, watching the tender interaction, Sungyeol was surprised not to feel jealousy, only content that Myungsoo was happy. If this is how I’d felt all along, could we have avoided this Cold War?

                “Do you want to go inside?” Taeyeon’s quiet, yet unique voice brought Sungyeol back to himself. Myungsoo nodded.

                “I’m so cold,” he whispered. Without pause, Sungyeol grabbed Myungsoo’s school bag, and followed the couple inside. They set up place to sit in the back of the science classroom, and Sungyeol shrugged his jacket off, and lay it on Myungsoo’s stretched out legs.

                “It’s so cold,” Myungsoo said, pink flushing over the bridge of his nose.

                “Fever?” Sungyeol asked Taeyeon, then, the next few moments, he couldn’t hear. He’d just talked to Kim Taeyeon, the one who he had so painstakingly avoided all contact with, and she had answered him. Despite Myungsoo fighting back tears before him, Sungyeol was suddenly warmed to his toes that he was coming to terms with life, with reality, and that there was hope for him yet.

                Shaking off his recessive narcissism, Sungyeol turned to Myungsoo.  Taeyeon was sitting beside him, holding his hands and murmuring to him quietly. Rather than feel  third-wheelish, Sungyeol felt comfortable with them in front of him,  and he managed not to even think about how awfully bitter he had been.

                Several times throughout the lunch period, although he was overjoyed that Myungsoo was talking to him, and had not sent him away, Sungyeol felt as though he was overstepping his mark. Myungsoo was Taeyeon’s and Taeyeon was Myungsoo’s, and no matter what happened, it was going to be that way for a long time. Sungyeol did not fit in that equation, and he was alright with that, and so, when Taeyeon would try to get Myungsoo moving, to warm him up, and regulate his metabolism and warm him up, although Sungyeol would trail along, he would stay back, worried that he was not allowed to be there, even though his thoughts were ridiculous.

                Insecurities built over several months could not be erased in a single week, and Sungyeol hung a few paces behind. However, not even the most ugly insecurity could immerse the concern that Sungyeol felt for his friend, concern mainly fueled by the fact that he did not know what was wrong entirely with Myungsoo, other than that his back was hurting, the place where he’d been given a steroid shot was sore, and that something was paining him greatly internally.

                Did he truly belong beside Myungsoo, or was his self-imposed separation from Myungsoo’s nearness to give Myungsoo and Taeyeon all of the space they needed to help Myungsoo heal what was best for his friend?

                Sungyeol did not know what was best, did not even begin to pretend to try, but no matter what it took, even if Myungsoo were to order him away, Sungyeol would undertake whatever he had to, to make Myungsoo happy.

                Make Myungsoo happy, because Myungsoo was worth it. Without even realizing it, that had stapled itself firmly in Sungyeol’s mind. Make Myungsoo happy.

*A/N

Short update, sorry, but some stuff has happened today.

Here’s to jongiefangirl4:  I hope you feel better. I love you, girl!! Inspirits FIGHTING!

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                                                ~Mak~