“Luhan?” I called, looking at him curiously. He waved and shot me a smile. He held out a bag at me.

 

“I passed by the convenient store and bought some of your favorite sour gummies!” He exclaimed, waving the bag at me.

 

Why are you doing this to me? Can’t you see that this is more than just a simple gesture?

 

“No thanks, Luhan. Just keep them. I’m not in the mood for candy. Plus, I already had some candy earlier today.” I told him turning them down. He once again eyed me with that same concerned expression.

 

“Minnie, what’s wrong? You’ve been really unusual lately. I look for you and I can’t find you. I want to talk to you and you shoot me down. I buy you candy and you don’t want it. What’s wrong?” He questioned. I couldn’t bear looking at him in the eyes. I knew he was concerned. Still, how could I blurt out ‘I’m in love with you and I’m upset that you’re together with Jaekyung?’.

 

“I just don’t want to talk about it.” I replied. He stood there unmoving, eyeing my every action.

 

“I don’t understand. What is so bad that you can’t tell your best friend?” He interrogated. I sighed and bit my lip as I gathered the courage to look at his face.

 

“I just don’t want to talk about it. Just let it go.” I demanded. Luhan’s expression changed. I wasn’t the kind of person to lash out at people or get angry. His expression of shock wasn’t surprising to me. I had never been like this with Luhan.

 

“Then… can I at least spend time with you?” He questioned in a smaller voice. I felt my heart going into a battle between my brain and my emotions. I so earnestly wanted to say yes and allowing him in with me so we could play around like we used to. It was just a habit and it came off as automatic. But I knew that in doing that, I would only hurt myself even more.

 

“No, I’m tired Luhan. I’m going to take a nap.” I lied. He frowned.

 

“I’ll wait!” he insisted. So, I wound up letting him in and I dragged myself up to my room and plopped myself on my bed. Obviously, Luhan followed, taking a seat on my desk chair. This was so routine; I think my parents found it odd if Luhan didn’t come around every now and then. Still… now it felt awkward.

 

Tick tock Tick tock.

 

I closed my eyes and waited to be consumed by that peaceful darkness that temporarily washed way the heart ache. But sleep never came.

 

“Ugh…” I groaned, turning over to my stomach and opening my eyes to face Luhan. He sat there with a soft smile on his face. I forced one at him and turned to look at the wall adjacent to where he was sitting. “I can’t sleep with you staring at me.” I commented. He chuckled lightly.

 

“Do you want me to join you?” He teased.

 

Thump Thump

 

There went my heart again. Luckily my brain was quick enough to respond.

 

“Ha ha very funny, I’ll pass byuntae.” I muttered, staring at the wall.

 

Ding

 

My phone went off. It was right next to Luhan. Odd, who would be messaging me? I don’t remember ever sending a text to anyone.

 

“Who’s Hannie?” Luhan asked, picking up my phone. I looked at him curiously and shrugged.

 

“I don’t know…” I told him reaching out for my phone. Luhan, however, kept held it up higher as he went to open the text.

 

“I passed by a store and found something that reminded me of you. Can you come down and meet me real quick?” He recited. My eyes widened and I dashed towards the front windows to see who it was.

 

Hanbyul.

 

He stood at a distance waddling from side to side. I smiled and decided to go greet him. Then I noticed, Luhan following me. I turned to look at him with a curious expression.

 

“What are you doing?” I questioned as I neared the front door.

 

“Well I’m going with you. I want to see what kind of friends my Minnie is making.” He defended. I shook my head and pushed him down to the couch.

 

“Nope, you’re going to wait for me here.” I told him, sitting him down on the couch. He pouted but I left to greet Hanbyul before he could protest.

 

“S-so?...”I greeted. Hanbyul’s smile immediately greeted me and he patted my head.

 

“Surprise?” He said pulling out a small piano figurine.

 

“Piano? Thank you…It’s cute.” I replied taking it from him.

 

“Umm… actually it plays Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. It reminded me of you… because you know... your compositions… and well your situation.” He explained, embarrassedly. Again another endearing thing he did for me today. I smiled at him and hugged him. That was the least I could do.

 

“Thank you… this is actually very sweet.” I told him, letting him go to gaze at the music box.

 

“W-well… I’m glad you liked it.” He commented, his cheeks a little flushed.

 

“Wait… how did you get my number? And how did I get yours?” I questioned. He grinned at me mischievously.

 

“You left your phone at the counter remember?” He reminded. I snapped my fingers and nodded recalling the moment. I smiled at him and wagged my finger.

 

“You’re a fast one.” I commented. He chuckled and shrugged.

 

“So I guess I’ll see you soon?” He asked. I nodded happily again, feeling genuinely a lot better than I did earlier today.

 

“Yeah sounds great!” I replied. “And by the way, I don’t usually hug people I just met, but since you were so nice to me today. I made an exception.” I told him. His dimple flashed me before he said anything.

 

“I’ll be sure to be nicer to you in the future.” He commented. I waved at him and headed back in to my house. Not even seconds later I was captured by Luhan. My eyes went wide and my heartbeat was erratic.

 

“W-what is wrong with you!” I scolded, not knowing if I was frightened or getting jitters from the proximity we were from one another.

 

“What was that? Who was that? What is this?” He quickly interrogated. I pushed him off of me and took a deep breath.

 

“Chat, Hanbyul, Music box,” I replied. He eyed me with a fierce expression that I’ve never witnessed from him before.

 

“Where did you meet him?” He questioned.

 

“At school…” I lied. I couldn’t really understand what was happening at this moment. Luhan seemed to be angry, and I couldn’t understand why. If anything I should be angry because he was interrogating me.

 

“Okay... I saw him leave here earlier. Did you walk home with him?” He asked, his tone of voice was much more solemn. He had me in a corner though. I couldn’t say no, it was obvious. Still, by telling him that it would seem like I ditched him and Lay just so I could hang out with Hanbyul.

 

“What does it matter Luhan?” I questioned, my voice sounding a little irritated but also smooth and collected.

 

“I just… want to know.” He replied, eying me curiously. I stood warped in to his eyes. I couldn’t look away and my heartbeat wouldn’t stay under control.

 

I care about you you idiot! Why are you doing this to me?

 

“I don’t want to talk about this. Hanbyul is my friend. That’s it.” I told him walking past him and going in to my room to find a place for my new figurine. Though a little delayed, Luhan followed me back in to my room.

 

“Aren’t music boxes a bit cliché?” Luhan asked, noticing that I was trying to find a place to put it. I shrugged and examined it once more.

 

“Cliché? I don’t think so. Plus this one has meaning behind it.” I commented. I placed it on my desk. I looked over at Luhan who seemed to have a sullen expression on. I felt bad I won’t lie, but I had to get over Luhan one way or another. I didn’t exactly want to lose my friendship with him, but maybe placing more importance on someone else would help me.

 

I plopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

 

When is he going to decide to leave? This is so awkward. However it felt like Luhan was doing the contrary. Luhan lied down next to me and sighed heavily.

 

“Are you having a bad day? Is that why you don’t want to talk to me?” He questioned. I shook my head.

 

“I’m okay Luhan.” I stated, keeping my focus on the ceiling.

 

“Is it me?” He interrogated. I bit my lip but shook my head.

 

“I’m just… a little lonely.” I told him, avoiding his question. Luhan his side so his full attention was on me.

 

“Lonely? Why do you feel lonely? Your family, me, and Lay are all here for you.” He commented. I shook my head.

 

“No, it’s not like that. I want to feel loved.” I explained. His eyebrows furrowed together as I said that.

 

“But we all do love you.” He replied. I sighed heavily and sat up on the edge of the bed.

 

“Not that kind of love, Luhan! I want to be…loved.” I whispered, looking down at my knees. I heard Luhan get up and walk up towards me.

 

“Jae…” He called as he grabbed my wrist. I roughly pulled my wrist from his grasp and finally looked up at him.

 

“Forget about it Luhan… just forget I said anything.” I commented getting up and opening the door. “I think it’s time you leave...” I said. His expression was stern and heavy.

 

“Jaemin lets talk about this.” He replied. I shook my head at him.

 

“No, Luhan. I don’t want to talk! Plus, what insight could you give me? Huh? You’re loved enough! Friends, family, girlfriend… how could you understand what it is like to come home and not have someone there to care for you? My parents work often, my friends are always busy…if I have a bad day I just have to swallow my sorrows. Do you understand Luhan what that feels like?” I exploded, losing my patience. He stood there with a cold gaze. The only thing that accompanied my question was silence.

 

“I didn’t think so…so just go home.” I muttered pointing outside. Luhan didn’t argue. He walked out and didn’t say or even spare a passing glance. When I finally shut the door, I sank down to my knees and yelled.

 

I can’t seem to get anything right, can I?

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Okay so there's one more chapter... wait for it tomorrow ^^: