Taking For Granted
Taking For GrantedMorning sunlight drifted across the bedroom window, creating a warm, fuzzy embiance. It would be perfect to wake up to this. But Chaeri had to drag herself out of bed. Groaning momentarily at the fact that she has to wake up to yet another meaningless day.
"Nothing," she murmured after checking her phone. It was only a week but she felt a giant piece of her heart, her soul, her life was absent for years. She decided to quickly wash up and get ready for...well, nothing in particular. It's a Saturday but the only difference from her other Saturdays is the absence of Sehun.
*****
"I'm going to the saloon after this. You want to come with me or do you have a date with Sehun?" Chaeri's mom asked after setting up the table for breakfast. Amusing how her daughter's weekly dates with Sehun was embedded in her head.
"I'll just stay at home. Where's appa?"
"Out to pay bills. He doesn't want to be the last in line again like last month. He grumbled about it the whole week and I was......." her mom went on and on about it but she wasn't paying attention. All in her head was imaginary scenarios and possible horrid 'What ifs'. What if Sehun doesn't love her anymore? What if Sehun leaves her? What if Sehun finds a new girl? What if...
Chaeri shook her head and thoughts away, continued eating her peanut butter and jelly toast which by now tasted soggy, stale, and somehow very unappetising. The piece of carb dropped from her hand and landed on her plate.
"Ughh," she made a face. Her mood was so bad that the most enjoyable morning activity, breakfast, made her cringed in disgust.
A new exchange student from China entered their class and the teacher stated that he was going to be staying for a month or so.
"Hi. I'm Chaeri. Park Chaeri," she extended her right arm, inviting him for their first handshake.
"Hi Chaeri. My name's Zhang Yixing. But you can call me Lay. I'm sorry but my Korean's a bit...so and so," he scratched the back of his neck, a slight blush coloured his cheeks. Chaeri chuckled.
"It's okay. I speak a bit of Chinese. We can teach each other," a warm start to a friendship.
She introduced Lay to Sehun one day, over some ddukboki after school. Chaeri was happy that she finally get to introduce her new friend to her boyfriend. Maybe they can be friends too. Lay was all smiles that day. New friends, scrumptious snack, he was loving Korea already.
Sehun on the other hand, nothing seemed right to him. The way that Chaeri and Lay looked at each other makes him cringed in jealousy. Inside jokes spoken in Chinese makes him want to hire a translator so he can make sure they were not talking bad about him. He couldn't tell Chaeri though. She's happy with all that and he wouldn't want to change that beautiful smile on her face.
*****
Friday night, usually spent talking over the phone for hours with Sehun. However, Chaeri decided to change things a bit. She invited Lay to a galbi restaurant, Sehun's and her favourite one. Of course, Sehun was invited too but he declined. Not in the mood, he said. Chaeri let it pass and went for the casual dinner with Lay.
Sehun was at home, fumbling over the game console remote. His fingers seemed to miss buttons for every attack. He was immersed in the digital fantasy, absorbed in the battle between inhumane creatures and aliens but was he really trying to win a set? No. He just wanted time to pass quickly so his eyes go sleepy and he's going to wake up to a new day. He would meet up with Chaeri and forgot about the existance of Lay. Because Saturdays are always special for the two. No one should interfere, so he thought.
*****
"Oppa!" Sehun heard Chaeri's voice and turned around. He expected a very bright Chaeri in her usual cute date outfit but nnnoooo. Chaeri was in a pair of jeans and denim shirt with-
"What the hell is he doing here?" Sehun asked, sort of exclaimed. Chaeri had brought Lay along to their date-day. This was not something that he would take lightly of. Certainly not.
"I wanted to show him how teenagers have fun here," Chaeri said, excitement filled her voice.
"But today is Saturday," Sehun frowned. Then he shot a dirty look at Lay. It would have been awkward if Lay had caught it but fortunately he didn't.
"Exactly! A day for fun filled activities," Chaeri replied in a video journalist's tone. Lay chuckled and Sehun automatically grunted in dislike.
"And you told me we're going to Lotte World today. Lay would love it there," Chaeri said, bemused at the thought of delighting her new friend.
However, Sehun's jealous-filled mind translated what she said into 'I would love to go Lotte World with Lay' and that somehow made Sehun silently die in agony at how a Chinese fellow could steal his girl right in front of his eyes.
*****
"Look! A dance game," Chaeri pointed to a neon-lighted machine that was booming with Para-Para Sakura music.
"Let's play," Sehun quickly grabbed her hand, hoping that Lay would fall behind and get lost and die. Okay, not to the point of dying but he wished Lay would just leave them alone. Alas, he had no luck. Chaeri quickly took hold of Lay's collar, pulling him along with them. She laughed afterwards, looking at Lay's epic face, fumbling with his steps and trying to stay balanced after being yanked at the collar of his shirt. Sehun smiled at her heavenly laughter but he wanted to punch a hole in the wall because her laughter was because of that stupid Lay, and not because of him.
"Hey let Lay play. I want to see my Sehunnie lose," Chaeri sheepishly smile. Sehun let out a fake laughter, his eyes curved up into an 'n' shaped line.
"Please, oppa. I bet you can't beat Lay," she challenged further and that hurt Sehun's pride. How the hell can his own girlfriend underestimate his dancing skills?
"Watch me kick his ," he shot back. Chaeri playfully scoffed and chose the song. And of course, she purposely chose an obnoxious song but yet a favourite, Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time. Sehun squinted his eyes at Chaeri, shooting 'I hate you' lasers into her soul. She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out.
"Yixing, jia you! And you, may you lose and rot in hell," Chaeri encouraged Lay before inducing Sehun's rage. It was normal for them to exchage sentences of hate and mockery but Sehun took it to mind today. Maybe because he wanted to prove to Chaeri so badly that he was better than Lay in every way.
*****
"Water?" Chaeri offered Lay, handing over a new bottle of Gatorade. He took it and drank.
"I want some water too," Sehun told her and she non-chalantly hand over a half-empty can of Sunny10. Sehun frowned but he took it nontheless. He was thirsty as hell and even jealousy can't stop him from drinking.
Sehun thoughts of drinking liquid heaven didn't cope for long. He noticed the looks exchanged between Chaeri and Lay again. It was the same way Chaeri had look at her every time they meet. Sweet and shy yet amusing and happy. His head rambled whether he should stop them or just let it be. He let it be.
Chaeri was having fun, getting to know Lay more and playing almost everything at the amusement centre. A bit too preoccupied with Lay that she forgot that it was supposed to be a day with Sehun. A bit too preoccupied with Lay that she ignored Sehun almost the whole time. A bit too preoccupied with Lay to realised Sehun's fallen face. Just...too preoccupied with Lay.
"Why didn't you answer my phone calls? And my texts. Are you mad at me? For what? Oppa," Chaeri followed Sehun around as he took his food from the cafeteria counter and find an empty seat to savour his lunch. He looked at her coldly. He didn't intend to but his heart turned cold after being ignored for weeks.
"Oppa, answer me. Why aren't you saying anything?" Chaeri was worried about how Sehun was behaving. What did she do wrong? Sehun ignored her again and ate his food.
"Oppa, what's wrong? Is it because I copied your notes? Are you mad because I was late for our date the other day? Or was it-" she stopped midway when Sehun slammed his eating utensils on the table, loud metals clanking didn't stopped the chaotic surroundings of the cafeteria though.
"Please, Chaeri. I want to eat. Stop asking me questions," Sehun frowned, displeased at the endless questions but more displeased of her.
"But-"
"You should eat too. I'm not worth of your starvation. Go," Chaeri was taken aback at what Sehun said. Did he just shooed her away? Chaeri was speechless but she went away in the end, took her food and sat at an empty seat next to Lay. She had wanted to sit with Sehun but when she was done taking her food, Sehun had already left.
"What's with you today? So glummy," Lay said in his broken Korean. Chaeri let out a small laugh.
"Sehun. He's been acting weird nowadays. I don't know why," Chaeri replied.
*****
"Oppa!" Chaeri shouted across the hallway but instead of turning to see her, Sehun kept walking for the exit. Chaeri decided to run up to him.
"Seriously, Sehun. What the hell is wrong with you?!" she exclaimed, grabbing his wrist. A few students turned, giving doubtful glances but then walked away soon after. Sehun didn't want any attention so he just mumbled audible 'At the park'.
*****
"Now tell me. Why are you being like this?" Chaeri stopped his tracks once they reached the neighbourhood's park. Sehun looked at her intently, feeling a sudden gush of hatred towards her which he can't explain why.
"I hate you Chaeri," he coldly replied.
"What? If this is a joke, it's not funny."
"You don't love me anymore do you? You only care about Lay now, don't you? Or maybe my notes that you always want to copy. But they're actually for Lay, right? You totally forgot about us, Chaeri. I'm just a shadow whenever he's around. It's like I don't mean anything to you anymore," Sehun lengthily let out his cooped up frustration. Was it his cold expression? His angered tone? His non-chalant body language? Whatever it is, it made every single word he said before stung Chaeri's heart like a poisoned dagger. She went speechless again. Glimmer of saline filled her eyes to the brim that when she blinked, everything poured out and wet her rosy cheeks.
"Don't cry. Don't act innocent. You're so easily smitten I was dumb to ever be in love with you. I'm sorry Chaeri. I can't do this anymore," Sehun run his fingers through his light brown hair, turning it into a messy hair party before sighing. A deep sigh indicating his realisation that he may regret his next decision ever so badly in the future.
"Let's just end this. I'll move on. You'll move on, with...that Lay guy," his voice trembled under twisted feelings. Chaeri couldn't believe her ears.
"Are you for real now? You think 'us' is that simple to end? How could you be so simple minded? Can't I spend a few weeks with a new friend? Are you really this selfish Sehun? You are such an idiot!" Chaeri punched Sehun at his left shoulder, making him take a few steps back from the impact. His eyebrows furrowed and his breath hitched at the slight pain. Chaeri left right after, without a word, without anything to dissolve the hectic misunderstandings between Sehun and her. Does she want Sehun? Yes. Does she want him now? No.
"I can't believe you're leaving already," Chaeri patted Lay's head.
"It's a month already," Lay said matter-of-factly.
"I'm going to miss you."
"You've been a great friend, Chaeri, really. Thank you," Lay said in Chinese. He wanted to come off sincere and speaking in Chinese made him feel the best in putting out anything.
"You're welcome. Have a safe flight my friend," she wrapped her arms around him, and they hugged for a few minutes. She knew he won't understand even if she explained in Chinese, so she didn't actually put things into words. Deep in her heart, she thanked Lay. Thanking him for making her realise that she has priority problems, making her realise that she had taken her relationship with Sehun for granted, making her realise the presence of one guy can bring drastic changes to her life.
"Bye," she simply bade as Lay vanished through the bustling crowd in the airport. It's Friday, a good reason why an international airport was seemed as an escape route for everyone in Seoul to a weekend getaway.
Chaeri spent the whole morning and afternoon watching movies she had missed the past few months, Percy Jackson and the Sea Monsters, City of Bones and Insidious Chapter 2. After a good 8 hours of staring at the bright lit flat screen and sitting on the couch like a rotten potato, she stretched and groaned at the satisfactory feeling.
Suddenly her phone rang and she quickly jumped up to take it from the coffee table. 엄마.
"Yeah?"
"Your dad's bringing us out for dinner. I'll come by to pick you up then we'll meet him at the restaurant," her mom explained.
"I'll pass mom. I need to uhh....do some things for school," Chaeri lied and after promising her mom she would eat some food, she hang up. Honestly, she wasn't feeling hungry. 8 hours of munching on caramel popcorn and sipping Coke in between, no one would feel hungry after all that sugar. Chaeri wanted to stay at home so if ever Sehun calls, she would not need to excuse herself to answer him. But of course, the call never came.
Chaeri wished she had not boiled over the other day. If only she had been calm and explained everything. But most of all, if only she had not ignored Sehun and not focused too much on making a good impression for Lay. She was basically attached to Sehun and even one day without him was agonising.
After shower, she went to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took the brown sugar soy milk. As she poured it into her glass, she realised the brownish milk colour looks a lot like the milk tea Sehun always grab after school at the nearby store. She sighed at the fact that most of the things around her, by now is reminding her of Sehun.
She decided to go to the neighbourhood's park for fresh air and see if she's lucky enough to gaze at some stars despite the light pollution in the city. She put on a jacket and left. Tangled earphones agitated her and she mumbled inaudible curse words as she tried to untangle them. She decided to give up because it was too bothersome.
Chaeri put her hands in her pockets because it was getting chilly. She sat on one of the swings and gazed at the sky. She was not lucky tonight.
"No stars," she sighed but she kept her head up. The sky was really dark and empty. Too empty, too sad. Suddenly, she heard a cough and turned her head towards the sound. Someone was lying on the slide, which was too short to occupy his long body. The person sat up to clear his throat and she kept her eyes on him. His features were vague and all she could point out was his ruffled hair. Chaeri squinted her eyes to make a clear view of his face in the dark. Her eyes went wide as saucers when she realised who it was.
"Sehun!" an exclaimed whisper escaped her lips and he turned to look at her. Their eye contact was mere seconds but it was enough to make her heartbeat accelerate faster than a Ferrari. She looked away, pretending she had never realise he was there. But instead of going with it, Sehun stood up and walked towards her.
"Chaeri," his voice was raspy but not deep enough to indicate he was a grown man. He sat on the empty swing adjacent to hers. Chaeri kept silent because she was too afraid and too nervous to say anything. She played with the wild strands of thread from the hem of her jacket. She might not have realised it because of what she was doing but Sehun was staring at her. His pained expression and messy hair made him looked like he had been in a rough state of life for quite a while. Chaeri finally turned to look at him.
"You look horrible,," she voiced out.
"Tired," he simply replied.
"I'm sorry," Chaeri looked away.
"For ignoring you. I know it was wrong of me to spend too much time with Lay. I'm sorry."
"Okay," Sehun's voice was weak.
"What? That's it?" Chaeri asked in disbelief. Sehun runs his fingers in his hair, making it messier than it already was. He let out a heavy sigh and shut his eyes tightly. Chaeri felt something was quite off at how he was behaving.
"Are you okay?" he let out a breath he was holding and it came out as a whimpering cry.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying? Oppa!" Chaeri kneeled down in front of him.
"I miss you. And I kept thinking about you. I regret saying those things the other day," he said slowly in a forced tone between rough sniffles.
"It's mostly my fault," Chaeri looked down, unable to face Sehun at the state at how they both were. Sehun stood up and pulled Chaeri up too.
"Please stay with me," he held her hands and looked into her eyes. Her eyes weren't filled with tears like she had thought it would but they showed weariness. Worn out by sad thoughts and unhappy possible endings. She kept silent, unable to think of an answer to his plead. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. She had not felt the warmth of his embrace for days and all she wanted now was this. Sehun pulled her in a tighter hug and rested his chin on her head.
"I love you," Chaeri said.
"I love you too," Sehun said and pulled himself away from the hug. He held Chaeri's face and plant a soft kiss on her lips. His heart was filled with beautiful emotions and it resulted with him smiling in the kiss. Call it sweet, call it simple but what they would call it, perfect.
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