“,” you whispered again, frustrated. “Damn these paperwork, damn those seniors and damn that blabbering kid.”

You were working overtime again.

After Jungkook spoke on radio about how you were his first love, you’d been trying to avoid him. His habit of shooting death glares your way whenever you were in vicinity had become creepy too.

However it was mission impossible considering you were the new manager of the group. In a desperate attempt to avoid the boy, you volunteered to deal with administration for the whole team of BTS’s staff which they accepted happily. “Admin people are evil!” a senior manager shuddered as he handed you a pile of receipts, invoices and whatnots for reimbursement.

You cracked your back straight after photocopying the last document. It was another hard day in office you wished you’d just go out running alongside BTS with their hectic schedule.

“If not for that crazy little kid,” you said out loud in frustration.

“What crazy kid?” a male voice whispered into your ear which made you jumped a mile and knocked your head on something hard.

“Aish noona did you have to overacted?” Jungkook cried while rubbing his chin, onto which, apparently, you wacked your head.

“Who told you to creep behind me at this god forsaken hour?” you held your spinning head with both hands.

“I had to, you’re avoiding me and the only way to catch you is here and now,” he paused and covered your hands with his. “When there’s no one else,” he stepped closer and you had to back off until your back hit the photocopier.

He held you captive between the machine and his much bigger frame, he leaned into your face. “When I can be alone with you,” he said this in a loud whisper so that his breath tickled your cheek.

Thump

You whacked your head again, this time on his face, deliberately.

Jungkook and you sat in the office kitchen, him sloping back on the wall while you put the icepack on his nose.

“Arr, be gentle noona.”

“Aww don’t be a cry baby, you deserve this though. Really… why are you such a creep,” you applied the icepack forcefully on his slightly red nose.

You expected another whine but he just caught your hand and stare at you, “Why do you hate me so much?”

“What? I… uh… I don’t…” you stuttered at his sudden seriousness.

He didn’t say anything more but stared at you with sad eyes. You looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.

“I don’t hate you,” your reply came out a shaky whisper.

“Then why are you avoiding me? Now and back then too.”

“I’m not avoi-“

“DON’T YOU DENY THIS,” he shook you by your shoulders, his voice coarse, miserable even.

“I was a kid back then and I may not be able to read into the situation. But now? Now I’m an adult and I know everything. I know when you’re dodging my looks. I KNOW why you’re doing this stupid office thing rather than fulfilling your duties as our manager.”

His grip on your shoulders got tighter.

“Did I do anything? Anything at all to disturb you? I was a lonely kid and I just wanted to be loved, to be by your side but you left me all alone. Now all I want is to be looking at you, to know that my noona is by my side again.”

“Joongkook, I’m so sorry…” you touched his arm and he visibly tensed.

“Do you have any idea how happy I was when you were introduced to us as our new manager? I knew by your cold look that you didn’t recognize me. I told that story, our story, on the radio with hope that you’d remember me, this kid who has always loved you. But you left me again.”

“Kookie…” you looked up to his wet eyes, “I’m sorry that I left you then and now again. I love you too, as a little brother. I… I just can’t love you that way and it was too awkward to be near you anymore.”

“Noona.”

He stumbled into your chest, clinging onto you tightly and burying his face into your shoulder, “I won’t do anything you hat, I won’t even look at you if you don’t like it. So please, please promise never to leave me again… if you love me,” you felt him sobbed, “as a little brother,” he added.

‘Oh kid.’

A tear escaped your eye and you gather him into your embrace, noticing how much bigger he got over the years. You used to piggy-back him and let him sit on your lap. He was a little kid no taller than your waist height. Now he was a lot bigger than you were, you couldn’t even withstand his weight and tripped backward, his body stacking on yours.

He supported himself on his hands and looked down at your flushed face. You were stunned and didn’t know what to do for a while but when he lowered his lips towards yours, you pushed him off you.

“You said you won’t do anything I hate? If you keep acting this way, I can’t keep this job,” you said shakily.

He stood up hastily and hid his head under the arms, looking ashamed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry noona. I lost control.”

Then he punched the wall with a frustrated roar, you had to get up quickly and try to contain him from throwing any more punch and hurt himself.

“Jungkookah, Jungkookah, look at me. LOOK AT ME. I’m not angry at you okay? And I’m not leaving you or this job. I will be by your side from now on, as your older sister and you’ll always be my kid brother. Okay?” Your voice came out sounding surprisingly calm.

You uncurled his tight fists and patted his head. He bowed his head and rested his forehead on your shoulder but otherwise avoiding contact with other parts of your body.

“Yes, please be my noona. You don’t need to love me that way, only be by my side,” his faint reply hinted surrender.

‘My child, my Kookie, you have a bright future ahead of you. You can’t afford to fall in love with an older woman at this time and I can’t be the one to weight you down for selfish reasons. You need to focus on your career and be successful, then meet a young beautiful girl later and have a beautiful family life. I don’t belong with you and both you and I know it.’

Of course you’ll never say it out loud to him nor will you ever let him know that you’d fell in love with him even before you knew he was your Kookie.

You’ll only always be Kookie’s noona and nothing more.

__________________________________________________

Look who's back! hee

I'm sorry for my lack of update, I hope this makes up for the long wait.