Sitting on the couch with Junnie, him resting his head on my lap while he sleeps I smile to myself, he’s such a cute kid, even if he insults idols because I’m spending time with them…”Ah what am I going to do when you grow up and I’m not your favorite girl anymore?” I whisper to him his head.

Hearing the ring and Uncle Jae saying he’ll get it.

“You spend a lot of time with your cousin.” Jonghyun says taking a seat next to me. “It’s really nice.”

“Yeah, let me just put him down in his room and we can go.” I tell him picking Junnie up. “Sorry.” I whisper to him smiling.

“Its fine, I’ll be here.” He says to me, it sounded like he meant more, but with Jonghyun I’m not sure you can ever really tell what he means when he spouts things like that.

Setting him down I tell them I’ll be back before it gets too late, and not to wait up for me if they decide to go to bed, following Jonghyun out the door I smile at him. “So what brings up this random dinner?”

“I want to spend time with you.” Jonghyun says carelessly. “Anyways I know this great pizza place.”

Nodding my head we both get in my car, “So direct me to our destination.”

Laughing Jonghyun and I chat happily in the car while he occasionally tells me the directions, arriving at this cute little pizza place Jonghyun and I get him happily walking beside me talking animatedly about their pizza and hoe delicious it is.

“So you’ll order?” I ask him happily behind him. “Right?”

“Of course.” He says laughing. “Come on!”

Laughing I follow him in, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket I frown to myself deciding to check to be sure it isn’t from Auntie May or Uncle Jae.

Smiling happily I replay quickly to Leeteuk, putting it away I look up to see Jonghyun ordering for us, taking a seat.

“So I hope that wasn’t the guys you texted.” Jonghyun says setting a slice of pizza in front of me, a smile on his face.

“Aniyo,” I tell him happily. “Just my aunt asking that I’m back before one.”

“Such a late curfew.” He says smiling at me. “Well come on let’s go walk around a little bit.” He says happily.

With him not facing me I frown a little bit, I hate lying to him, but I don’t want him to get mad at me... Catching up with him I take a bite, “Omo, Jonghyun this is the best.” I tell him catching up.

“I know.” He says smugly. “I’m glad you agree.”

Chuckling I fall in synch with him walking in the dark. “So the mysterious Jonghyun do you have any deep secrets you’d like to share?” I ask him chuckling.

“I do.” He says seriously. “But you can’t tell other people.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” I whisper feeling the serious mood suddenly. “Jonghyun?”

“I’m afraid you’ll turn out exactly like last time.” He whispers looking at me. “It terrifies me, because it’ll hurt them all and it’ll be my fault…again.”

Stopping I stare at him, “Jonghyun…” I whisper dropping my arms to the side, forgetting all about my pizza. “I promise you I’m not using you, I’m not using any of you.”

Walking up to me he takes my hand. “Then stop lying to me.” He says with a pained expression. “I’m not an idiot, I know Leekteuk hyung likes you, and I know that you’re thrilled about it.”

Staring at him I feel my body trembling “Is it wrong that I like being liked?” I whisper

“What about us then?” He asks.

“I like all of you guys, just because Leeteuk likes me doesn’t mean I’ll forget about all of you.”

“I mean me and you.” He says resting his head on mine. “I like you, and it’s killing me to see you so thrilled about someone else, it hurts…To watch you joke around with Taemin, knowing that you spend so much time with him…It makes me jealous.”

Staring into his intense brown eyes I look away. “Jonghyun we just met.” I whisper holding his hand. “You make me confused and happy at the same time…”

Sighing he wraps his arms around me. “Just give me a chance…Let me try to make you thrilled, let me try.”

Hugging him I whisper something I don’t share aloud often. “Let me flip it.”

“What?” He asks confused.

Looking at him I pull out my quarter. “Let me flip it.” I repeat.

Staring at me confused he lets out a sigh. “And if it lands not in my favor?”

“I’m not sure.” I whisper tossing it up in the air, watching it flip in the air my heart pounding, the strange thing about flipping it…is that this time I’m not sure what I want, I have absolutely no idea if I do want to be with Jonghyun, the guy who’s looks out shine anyone he’s around, who comes to my rescue when I need him, Jonghyun that gets jealous that I spend time with Taemin, his Hyung likes me and that possibly I do have strong feelings for him…But Leeteuk, he’s so gentle and kind, I can’t deny that I do indeed what to get to get to know him more, but not at the cost of hurt Jonghyun. I don’t think there is anything I’d do to hurt him, not intentionally, not like this.

So here I am breaking my tradition, grabbing the coin in mid-air I stare Jonghyun. “I can’t.” I whisper walking away.

“Jessica!” Jonghyun calls grabbing my arm he holds it tightly. “Just answer me one question and promise me two things.”

Bit my lip I turn around to look him in the eyes. “Alright.”

“Answer my question and no matter what don’t let this affect you and the others.” Jonghyun says letting my arm go.

“Ask your question.” I tell him in a monotone.

Gulping down he kisses me gently, pulling away quickly he whispers something in my ear before walking off. “Well?” He calls from afar.

Touching my lips gingerly I stare after him as he jogs away from me, keeping his head down. “Stupid…you still confuse me.” I whisper getting back in the car, driving home once there I run inside. Tossing my phone away from me I glare at it, growling in frustration I sit on my bed, feeling lips tingle from the short but sweet contact from Jonghyun.

‘If you felt something tell me, arasso?’  Jonghyun says.

‘How am I supposed to tell you, you big fathead.’ I think to myself, falling asleep.

Waking up I stare over at my phone sitting on my desk, it lit up from messages, getting up I pick it up and turn it off, I just don’t think I could handle all of it today, after last night… changing into a pair of floral running shorts and cutoff tank I pull on a pair of socks grabbing my running shoes and my iPod I jog into the living room, doubling back to fix my hair into a pony tail and to brush my teeth in the bathroom. Walking out I put my shoes on as Junnie walks over to me.

“Is noona upset?” He asks me resting his hands on my knees. “Noona?”

Smiling at him weakly I kiss the top of his head. “I’m just going to go on a run alright?”

Nodding his head I get up and start jogging, listening to my music I’m not really sure how far I’ve ran or where I’ve gone just that I don’t want to stop, that I need to keep moving to keep my mind off of everything I’m not ready to think about.

“Stupid.” I mutter under my breath as I rest at the park. “Stupid.” Jogging back home I check the time, 2:30 in the afternoon…

Walking in I wipe some of the sweat off on my shirt. “Noona you’re back!” Junnie yells happily. “Ew... you’re all sweaty.” He says backing up.

Chuckling I nod my head. “It’s from running.”

“Noona your friends are here.” He says pulling on my hand. “Come see! Taemin-Hyung has been teaching me to dance!” He squeals excitedly.

Looking to the living room I see four of the five boys there, the only one missing being Jonghyun.

“Hey, we got worried…” Key says standing up. “Are you alright?”

Nodding my head stiffly I shift my weight from foot to foot. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

“Junnie told us that his parents say that your parents said that you only run like that when something really upsets you.” Minho says after a while. “You weren’t answering your phone.”

“I didn’t bring it and it’s off.” I explain to them calmly. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Stepping out in fresh clothes I take a seat away from them. “So what brings you guys all the way out here?”

“Jessica…”Taemin says looking at me, his expression worried. “Jonghyun came back in last night a little late…”

“And?” I ask him indifferently straightening up hearing his name, my lips feeling like they’re on fire, the idea of him kissing me running through my head again. “Did something happen to him?”

“We don’t know.” Key says firmly playing with Junnie. “He came back last night sort of upset, and well all last night he was saying Jessica.”

Staring at them I nod my head, looking over at Onew him staring at me almost knowingly. “Well?”

“Tell him something for me?” I ask them looking out the window.

“Sure.” Taemin says taking a seat next to me.

“That I’m sorry for breaking his promise and yes.” I say getting up.

Onew getting it first stands up as well. “Come on guys let’s go, we have to get ready for our schedules.” Herding them out Onew stops by me, looking me in the eye.

“He likes you, a lot.” Onew says. “And if his promise is what I think it was then…”

“The promise is between me and him.” I tell him firmly. “Onew?”

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favor?”

“What?”

Staring at the others all waiting for Onew I bite my lip. “Let me be alone for a while, I need to figure some stuff out.”

“I can try.” He says turning away, turning back he says one last thing to me. “Just don’t take too long…”

Waving them good bye I walk back into my room, staring at my phone I feel my heart pang, putting it in my desk I lay down on my bed, I just can’t look at them without feeling guilty…Staring at my quarter on the ground I glare at it, I couldn’t flip it, I couldn’t do it, I was sure for once what I really wanted and it scared me, or maybe…maybe it’s time I take my faith out of a quarter…

SHINee’s POV

“She was being strangely cryptic.” Minho mumbles staring out the window. “And what schedules?”

Onew frowned. “Key you saw it right?”

“Of course.” Key mutters. “Jonghyun said something to her and whatever it is, is bugging her.” He says sighing.

“She wants us to leave her alone for a little while.” Onew says staring at them. “So we will.”

“I agree.” Taemin whispers. “Whatever went down between her and Jonghyun needs to be sorted out.”

“For how long?” Key asks looking out the window. “What if this is just the replay of last time?”

“It’s not.” Minho and Taemin both say together. “Jessica isn’t like that, she’s not.”

“We all keep defending her, but really what do we know about her?” Key asks looking back at them. “We only just met Jessica, took her into our home and accepted her without knowing a thing about her.”

“Hyung trusts her.” Taemin whispers. “I trust her.”

“We all trusted Ha Ni.”Key points out sadly. “I know we all are hoping that’s not her but we can only hope in the end.”

Silently they all ride back home, entering the dorm they stare at Jonghyun while he rolls around.

“Something happen?” Onew asks watching the strange behavior. “Jonghyun?”

“What did she say?” He asks sitting up to look at them.

The four of them all look around, Minho in the end tells him. “That she’s sorry for breaking her promise and yes, but we’re not really sure what any of that means.”

Jonghyun nods his head, “Well…Come on let’s do something.”

“Jessica wants us to leave her alone.” Taemin says angrily. “What did you say to her?”

Jonghyun looks at Taemin sadly. “Give her a little bit of time.” He whispers to him. “She’ll hang out with us again.”

And with that the five boys all dropped the subject of Jessica.

Jessica’s POV

As the weeks passed, I started school, got a job and was looking for a place where I could go that SHINee couldn’t find me.

Staring at my phone I answer the text from Taemin, Minho and Key telling them that I have to study, that I’m too busy to hang out with them today or tomorrow, and I have classes the rest of the week. I haven’t skipped out on everything, but I was skipping out on time spent with them.

“Hey Jessica ready to head to class?” Bum asks walking beside me. “You there?”

“Huh?” I ask looking up at him. “Sorry, come on I don’t want to be late.” I mumble as I walk forward.

“Jessica!” He yells trying to catch up to me. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” I lie to him smiling. “I just spaced.”

Looking at me unconvinced he shakes his head. “You’re my best friend; I know when you’re lying.”

“I know.” I whisper walking into class taking my seat, and Bum next to me I let out a sigh. “It’s just this thing that happened when I first arrived in Korea.”

“Ah the mysterious guy that you like.” He says sympathetically. “Jessica don’t you think you should just give him a chance.”

“I don’t know.” I whisper as our professor walks in.

I needed to move the story forward and this is the re, I hope you guys enjoy this, um... :D It'll get better soon.

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