The young man stayed quiet but never broke his gazed into her eyes.

Jinri gently pulled her arms away from grip and shake her head, “You can’t fall in love with me, Jongin.” she turned around and was about to walk away, when suddenly a strong pair of arms were wrapped around her waist.

“Give me a chance. I want to love you till I can.” he said as he buried his face on the crook of her neck.

“Jongin-“

He turned to face her. His eyes softly bored onto hers – he gave her the softest smile he could possibly gave.

His hand made its way to her chin, “I love you.”

With that he pulled her close and gently planted a kiss on her plump lips.

--

Jinri couldn’t think straight – all she could think of was the soft lips that were devouring hers. It felt weird in a good way, her heart was beating fast, and she could feel cold sweats running down her back.

He nibbled on her lower lip while she let out a small gasp – his tongue swiftly entered her cavern, exploring inch of everyplace of .

The way he kissed her; it felt like heaven.

She unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck, and with that his kiss was finally returned.

--

His arms were wrapped around her petite body as she was leaning on him. “Jongin, what will you do if I leave you?”

The younger man looked at his lover a puzzling look before planting a small kiss on her cheek, “You think I’ll let you leave me?” he chuckled.

A small smile crept on Jinri’s lips as the sun went down.

--

Jongin stared at his window – the snow was falling. He wondered how Jinri was doing; they haven’t seen each other for almost a month.

He always calls her but instead it was her mom that always tells him that Jinri’s busy. He leaves her text messages but she doesn’t reply.

He wonders.

--

He immediately run to the park, it’s been forever since he saw Jinri.

He was excited but he couldn’t help but feel nervous. When he heard her voice it sounded, wrong.

Jongin saw Jinri sitting on the grass; she was looking at bright full moon. He smiled warmly as he sat next to her.

The girl made no movement or a sound. Jongin stared at her for a while. Her hair long hair was cut short, her cheeks weren’t that chubby anymore, and she looked paler than before.

“Jinri, what happened to you?” he whispered.

The girl looked at her with the saddest eyes he has ever seen, “I have cancer.” she murmured.

“W-what?”

“I’m sick. I have lung cancer, Jongin” she turned her head, back at the moon.

“No, y-you’re lying.” he felt something heavy in his heart, he couldn’t speak properly and his jaw kept shaking.

“I stopped treatment two years ago. The doctor said that I’m a hopeless case. She told me that it’s better to live my life normally.”

A soft smiled appeared on her face as she turned at Jongin. “Last month, water field up my lungs, I couldn’t breathe. It hurts so badly that I wanted God to just take me with him to stop the pain.”

Jongin stood up as he grabbed a rock and threw in the river, “Why did you just tell me now?!”

“I asked you! You said you were willing to love me!”

“I thought – Jinri…” he bit his lower lip as he took a deep breath.

Tears escaped from Jinri’s eyes as she stood up, “I was perfectly fine! I accepted everything! Then you came along, I need no reason to be angry at God. Please, just leave me be.”

“No, you’re prefect! Listen to me! You’re perfect – you’re fine.” he grabbed her shoulders as he stared deep into her eyes.

His tears already rolled down his cheeks, “You’ll be fine.”

“Jongin… I’m sick.” With that she pulled away from his grasp and walked away.

--

Jinri stared at her window; her eyes were swollen because of the lack of sleep and from crying as well.

While she was busy dozing off a sudden knocked came to her door, “I’m not hungry mom!” she yelled, but a knock came again.

She groaned in frustration as she lazily stood up and went towards her door.

Once she opened it, a bouquet of baby’s breath flowers appeared before her. She took the flowers and there stood Kim Jongin.

“Jongin…” she murmured.

“Can I come in?” he gave her a sheepish smile as he rubbed his nape.

Jinri quickly nodded.

The young man sat on her bed as she gently closed the door.

Jinri sat beside him as she stared at him, “What are you doing here?”

“You said you were dying. That is why I want to spend every second of my life with you whenever I could.” he stood up as he offered her his arms. “Mind having a date with me?”

She stared at him for a while before standing up and giving him a big warm hug. “I’ve missed you.” she buried her face onto his chest.

Jongin smiled as he held the back of her head with his hand and the other around her waist.

--

It was another usual day at the park. Jinri was sitting in between her lover’s legs while leaning on him as well.

“Jongin?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you write a eulogy for me?”

“…”

“I want you to speak in my funeral, okay?”

“…”

“If you’re done with my eulogy, I want you to read it to me.”

Jongin pulled her close as gulped his saliva. A tear rolled down on his cheeks as she gave her head a light peck.

“I will.”

--

Jinri was brought to the ICU – the night she was brought she was screaming in pain. Her nose was bleeding while she was gripping on her shirt near her chest.

She was sleeping while her mom was fixing her blanket.

Jongin touched the glassed wall that was getting in between them. His heart aches at the sight of her.

She looked so fragile, she looked like she was about to break – it looked like his whole world was falling apart.

He smiled as he noticed she finally woke up. Jinri saw him and she smiled at him. Jongin made a low chuckle as he grabbed his phone and showed it to her; telling her to call his phone. Jinri nodded and smiled, borrowing her mom’s phone. She dialed his number and with the first ring Jongin picked up.

 “I finished my eulogy for you.”

She smiled widely, but tears suddenly streamed down her cheeks, “Read it to me.” Her voice was weak and shaking. Jongin felt a lump on his throat while he felt his eyes becoming really heavy.

He sighed deeply as he nodded. Jongin took out a piece of paper from his pocket; he unfolded the paper and stared at the girl in front of her.

“Jinri, her name is Jinri. It means truth. She has always been the loner type, quiet, pessimistic, but despite of that… she taught me the most important thing that everyone needs to learn, and that’s love. For 18 months she became my life, my whole world, I was afraid to lose her. I’ve always pictured us living on the same roof, having 2 kids: one boy and one girl. I was pretty confident that I’ll marry her, grow old with her, and die with her… but she was so unfair!” Jongin suddenly cried, he didn’t know when he did – but he just did. He stared at the girl in front of him who was crying as well.

“Go on” she told him.

Jongin nodded and pursed his lips, “It should be both of us dying at the same time, but she went on first. Choi Jinri, please tell me… How do I live a life without you? How can I go on without you? How do you expect me to live knowing that each and every second, minute, hour, day, month, and years of my life that I won’t be seeing that girl who rarely smile, but when she does her eyes will turn into a half crescent moon – the most beautiful smile I always long for is now gone. Our forever will always be an infinity.”

“Forever?” she murmured.

“I promise.”

--

A week after the reading of his pre-eulogy, Choi Jinri died.

“Jongin, my daughter wanted to give you this.” her mother handed him a letter.

Dear Kim Jongin,

When I haven’t met you I did nothing but wait for death, wait until God take my life away. What was the point of living if I couldn’t even do anything I want? I spent my whole life living in a hospital.  So, I just wanted to die. But you came, and for the first time in my life… I wanted to live. I wanted to stop time. I had dreams; dreams of marrying you, having kid yous with, and living a life together. I wanted to get mad at God, but I couldn’t because... everything he does is for the best. Jongin, I love you. I will always love you. I want you to be happy, happier than you were with me. Find a girl who’ll love you more than I did. I’ll forever be marked in your heart, right? I love you so much and I’ll always will.

Love, Choi Jinri

***

It's like 3 am in here and I feel really dizzy. Sorry if there are grammatica errors and typos. I'll edit this when I'm in the right mind already. And I hoped you enjoyed this c: