I was standing inside a beautiful two-storey gallery just nearby my favorite park. My friend told me to go here before this day ends, October 24th. My 18th birthday. She even told me to look my best, so here I am wearing this blue dress that falls just right above my knee and with my long hair neatly fixed. Blue lights blinking like a snow falling were hanging up on the ceiling, together with the different colors of paper cranes aligned that looked like they were all freed from a bird's cage that was placed at the very end of the area. Other paper cranes were beautifully scattered on the floor. That was all I saw, yet it did nothing but amazed me. The sight was already breathtaking for me, it was enough though it's almost as if the place is empty. A smile slowly formed on my lips, until all the lights went out.

I heard a crashing sound like the place was about to be broken down but I see and feel nothing, nevertheless, I screamed because of what I have heard and also because of the blindness I'm experiencing. I ran outside the place to look for my friend.

Where is she? Why did she asked me to come to this place when I think everything crashed and broke down inside. Did she want me to die?

I was about to leave the place when I saw a signboard on one of the stores beside the park that says,

"Where are you going?"

I thought it was some kind of an advertising strategy of the store but as I take another step, a different sign caught my attention..

"Why are you running away?"

That was the first sentence he ever told me and that was the question he frequently asks me.

-----

3 years ago

Separation

Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

- W.S. Merwin

I kept on reading this poem for several times this day. It's no surprise if I probably memorized this very short poem which holds too many emotions. I already know it by lines, by words, by letters, and if possible, by heart. 

Your absence has gone through me

Like the person was probably still waiting for her, in denial that she had left already. That maybe she wasn't really gone, she just hasn't shown herself to him yet.

Like thread though a needle

Everytime one commits a mistake while sewing, he has to cut all the thread to redo everything. Yes, he can still correct the mistake but it does not mean that the hole the needle has created won't be gone. The same with a person's heart, like pain. 

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

Wherever the needle goes, the thread follows. Until the thread runs out, until it ends.

It was one of my favorite poems, not because someone left me before. I was just curious if it was really this painful to be separated from someone so special to you. I haven't even experienced being left by someone and it's already this painful, what more if it happens to me?

I closed the book of poems and carefully placed back the small note slipped on this page. Who wrote this?

Then I went outside the library. It was still early in the afternoon and a lot of people are hastily going to restaurants, chasing the time because of work. A chill breeze welcomed me and I approached a narrow street just beside the library. I closed my eyes when I felt someone bumped me and we were now facing each other. Rather, I was facing her, inches away from her face, while she was busily looking behind me and was grasping my collar. I guessed that was the reason why we are face-to-face.

After a few moments, I recognized her face. She's one of the few people who always come by the library. I find her cute whenever I see her from a distance. It's only now that I realized and admired her beautiful face, flawless skin, hazelnut eyes, long black hair, and her li --..

"Are they gone?" she asked herself, distracting my train of thoughts.

"Why are you running away?" I blurted out lout, but her eyes are still focused behind me.

"Are you just going to stand there and not say sorry?" I asked, louder this time. She turned her gaze to me and said, "Sshh..," placing her index finger in front of her lips. I was completely astounded and I was immediately reminded of how our faces are still-just a breath away, so I stepped back and grabbed her wrist and gently dragged her inside the library.

"Are you a criminal?" I try to say with my straight face on.

"What?!" she shouted. She then bowed down to the people looking at us and looked for an empty table.

"Are you a criminal?" I repeated.

"Why would you ask me that?" she whispered softly as she could. "Do I look like I kill people?!" she added.

"Because you were being chased by somebody and was hiding from them," I explained.

"No, it just happens that I accidentally spilled a coffee on of the workers' suit, so I hid," she chuckled lightly, leaving me dazed. 

"I'm sorry," she then paused, "...for bumping you a while ago. Also, thank you for saving me back there," She showed me her sincerest smile. And I was quite taken aback but then I smiled back at her. She stood up, heading for the exit.

"Byun Baekhyun," I uttered as I reached out my hand to her.

"It's not like we're going to see each other again," she told me.

"We will."

"Why are you so sure?" 

"I always read books here as much as you do," She looked so surprised with what I said, then I saw her look at me with full recognition. She might have remembered me by now.

"Lee Jin Ae," she finally said and shook her soft hands.

After that day, I still see her coming to the library but we never talked. I was looking and admiring her features from a distance behind the book I was holding. Was she really this attractive before? This went on for a week and whenever she's done reading a book and leaves, I'll grab that same book and read it. As if the books would tell me something about her. I thought it was just a simple admiration since she loves books as much as I do, but then something just pulls me towards her. Especially when I saw her grabbed the similar book I often read, at least once a day and turned the page to where the piece of paper was slipped inside. Separation. 

I know exactly what was written on that paper.

I'm scared...that if I ever get attached and if I let my walls down,

It'll be as painful as this poem when he leaves

...so might as well I do it first.

I've always wondered who wrote that, I want to tell her that she should not leave and --

"Found it!" she screamed and I saw her smile, as she bows once again because of the noise she created. She sighed in relief as she took the paper and slip it in her pocket. My heart beat unusually fast.

"Hi, Jin Ae!" she then bowed to me.

"Can you sign this paper? The library told me they need people's suggestions on how to improve the place," I explained to her.

"Sure!" she happily replied and said goodbye as soon as she finished answering. 

What she answered wasn't important. What I asked her was obviously a bluff. What mattered was how she wrote her answer. And it was the same handwriting written on that slip of paper.

Since then, I stopped gazing from a distance. I stopped checking the books she read. I stopped doing everything. Instead, I approached her, talked to her and tried to get to know her more. I believed it was just a simple admiration, because she reads books, she have read and felt the same pain in that poem, and lastly she was the one who wrote that note. Her beautiful eyes and bright smile added to my interest. 

Everyday, we'll talk about stories that had great impact to us, poems that made us feel so emotional, and even our favorite songs. Soon enough, we were already talking about everything, how she thinks that reading a book is better than watching a movie, how snow feels so much better on her skin when the sun is high up in the sky, and even how the library gave her a secure feeling. As I took note of her every movement, I felt my heart beat faster than it already is.

I was getting close to her and I was also getting close to believing that this isn't just a simple attraction.

One afternoon, we were sitting on a bench in front of a two-storey gallery. The sun was about to set but the orange ray of light was perfectly reflected on her lovely face. She was busy taking a look at the sky when I asked her something.

"Why did you write those words?" she looked at me, face filled with confusion. After a few seconds, she understood what I was talking about and she answered, " I don't really know. I'm just scared, Maybe?"

"Scared of what?"

"That I was the only one feeling this way? It's better than trying to do things that would make him like me back. I want both of us falling for each other without the other knowing it yet. You know, like falling at the same time."

I love how she said "us" even though I know it's not about me and her.

"It's scarier than a horror story that if you get too attached and give your all, sooner or later when he leaves you, it would be too painful. That you find it hard to pick up yourself and move on with life. So it's better that I leave first before things get out of hand," her face was so serious while looking at the space in front of us.

And to lighten up the mood, I just told her, "You know what? Let me just walk you home while we eat ice cream on the way," 

The sun had finally set and it was unusually cold compared to the previous nights I had. I saw that she had a thin layer of cardigan with her and she looks like she's going to become as cold as a snowman anytime soon so I gave her my beanie. I playfully placed it on her head, covering her whole face. I was stifling my laughs when she complained, "I don't know if you're being nice or making fun of me," 

So I fixed the beanie and I saw she was pouting, I cleared my throat and I just continued walking. At that time, I wanted to tell her that she should not be scared nor be worried because I am here and I would never leave her. And that if she'll runaway, I'll go after her. But now's not the right time. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll tell her. 

"Thanks for the dinner and for everything," she smiled sincerely and she tiptoed and hugged me. I was surprised by her action but nonetheless I hugged her back. I wanted it to be like this, always. I want to keep her in my arms so she does not runaway.

She broke the hug and kissed my cheek

"Goodbye, Baekhyun," she said it like I'll never see her again.

The next day, she did not come to the library. For a whole week, she did not show up. I was getting really worried. She wasn't even in her place anymore as I tried to go there. 

After 3 months of waiting, I still come to the library hoping that she'll come back. Worry was then replaced with pain. I was reading the same book of poems again, and I accidentally turned it to where my favorite poem was. 

I realized it really did hurt whenever I read it before.

It hurt more when I have accepted that I began to love her and she already ran away.

------

I always runaway. I have to go before I start hurting myself. It's better this way. We've been really close and I liked that. He's sweet and kind. I love that he loves the same poem I always loved. The poem that made me think being left by someone you love hurts like hell. Sure it hurts to leave too, but it hurts more being the one left behind.

I grabbed my wallet and took out the small note I created. I placed it inside that book before. I read the note and noticed that there were other ink marks, I flipped it and saw..

I will never leave your side

-----

Present

I approached the sign and there I saw a letter attached to it. 

"We run because we are afraid that things might turn out the way we don't want it to be.

But, did you ever wonder what could have happen if you did not runaway?"

Then familiar handwriting was written below the quote...

Please, don't go. Come back to the gallery

I blinked my eyes to make sure I wasn't just hallucinating, but as I open my eyes, the same handwriting was still facing me. I know that handwriting so well. It couldn't be, could it? Is it really him?

I glanced at my watch and saw that it's already 10:54pm. 

I couldn't face him. I couldn't afford to let myself fall deeper. I just couldn't. Maybe, I should just leave. Yes, I should do that. So I stood up and suddenly someone hugged me from behind, startling the beejeezus out of me.

"Jin Ae! I thought you wouldn't come!" my friend screamed at me.

"I did come and was actually about to leave," I explained and started walking.

"Eh? Why? No, you're not leaving," she stretched out her arms, blocking my path.

"I went there and all the lights went out. Plus, I'm tired so please just move," I faked a yawn to show how 'tired' I was. I don't like where this is going. I just want to go home.

"Well, that event was to add some drama~," she told me in a sing song voice but then her voice turned serious, "I know you know it. So if you're planning to leave, make sure that once you set your foot here once again, you'll have no regrets nor any thoughts about what could have happened." She was so serious she said it with full concern. A pain tugged at my heart because I know she's right. It's true.

"Jin Ae-yah, yes we can always run but sooner or later there would come a time where we'll run out of places to run to. We'll have no choice but to face it. Aren't you hurting yourself more by avoiding something that you both want? Stop making things complicated for the both of you." Every word shot through me and I felt myself tearing up. Why was I such a coward? What am I afraid of?

All this time, I kept pushing him away, pushing myself away from the thought that I actually fell for him. Now, here I am being pushed back to him.

"I hate you, it's my birthday and you're making me cry," I told my friend and I playfully slapped her arm. I chuckled and she did the same thing. We were both laughing our hearts out when she hugged me tightly that I thought my spine was going to break.

"I love you too. Happy birthday, chingu! Now, go and thank me later," she pushed me towards where the gallery is.

I stood by the entrance, unable to move because there I saw the guy I keep on running away from. And I am now coming back to him. He was wearing a white suit, his hair perfectly messy for my liking, he's standing there perfectly.

And when I thought the place was already amazing awhile ago, suddenly everything became more beautiful and breathtaking, now that he's here.

He smiled right after seeing me. And I suddenly felt anxious and nervous.

"I thought you wouldn't come,"

"I was actually just dropping by. Bye!" I waved him goodbye, trying to joke to ease my nervousness.

"You really do love running away, don't you?" I know he was playing with me too, but I felt guilty...for leaving. For being a coward.

"I know you can't leave when there's food," he lightened up the mood and gestured towards the table at the right corner.

"...and this," he said and extended his arms to give me a rose dyed into blue.

After eating, he suddenly offered his hand to me.

"Can I have this dance?" he asked and scratched the back of his head, looking so shy.

"No," I laughed but took his hands.

A beautiful music played. The intro consists of violin and I closed my eyes as I get drowned with the music. Then I heard him sing the first lines. I missed that angelic voice which never fails to melt my heart.

Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you

I'm not alone. Tell me you feel it too

Cause I would runaway, I would runaway

"I, too, was scared that if I love, I'll be too fragile. The pain would be unbearable. It would feel like being stabbed for a hundred times. I was scared that if I get too attached it'll hurt more than what I expected it to be when you leave....and you did,"

Was he here to nag me or....

Cause I'm falling in love with you

No, never. I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you

"....but you know, all those pain are nothing compared to what I felt when I saw you coming here. And I guess that's what it means to love. Pain is just a part of it, that without it, we wouldn't realize how it feels like to love unconditionally."

Who wouldn't get teary eyed with this? Why is everyone making me cry on my birthday? I hate this stupid guy.

We continued dancing together with the music. My arms around his neck and his hands carefully placed on my waist.

It's already 11:55pm, and he surprised me when he suddenly hugged me.

"Before this day ends, I would like to spend it by thanking the one above for giving you another year and for giving me the chance to meet you,"

"You're making me cry, you poodle."

I'm overwhelmed by everything that I already noticed myself crying with all that was happening.

11:59pm...

"Happy 18th, my dear debutante. So, would you like to runaway with me?"

------

an: finally after a whole week I get to finish this first Baekhyun oneshot fic I've ever written in my life!!!! Sorry it took so long. I hope you guys like it, especially you jintrix!!! :))) Belated happy happy birthday!!! You know I love you so much!!! :****