“Onew, you’ve come back to me! I knew you would! But, why can’t you remember me! You know me, Onew!”

               Onew…I couldn’t believe that I had seen him again. The very last glimpse I had got of him was more than three and a half years ago. He had set out, beyond our village and that was the last we ever heard of him. He had promised to return. I stood on that promise; I knew he wouldn’t break his promise, not to me at the very least. Everyone in the village shook their heads and proclaimed his death. I refused to believe in it. I knew he would come back. He couldn’t be dead. And no, he wasn’t! I had seen him then! But, the memories had been wiped clear off his mind.

              Pained, disheartened, fraught with worry, I finally dropped asleep. And morning greeted me only too soon. I scrambled out of the tent that was now, but thin sticks, the leaf cover having gone away with the wind. I walked out and the same, monotonous sight met my eyes. There they were, standing in the perfectly aligned file, exactly how I had left them last night. Onew stood there as well. I stared at him, forcefully, hoping my gaze would somehow burn his memories of me back into his mind. But, he resolutely looked away, beyond the hills and the valleys. A vacant expression filled his eyes. Empty, sad and forlorn. Before I could continue my scrutiny, however, my master rode towards me on his horse. I immediately climbed on, as such was the usual custom. But this time, master Minho shook his head, “No, stay here.” He said steadfastly.

“What?!” I was thunderstruck. I had left my life for him and he was going to abandon me right there, in the hub of nowhere. “No!” I screamed, “You can’t leave me here!”

“Shut up!” He snarled, “We will come back to get you.”

I calmed down a little, but broached for details, “Why can’t I come with?”

“No, I only need my army.” He said, pointing towards the emaciated individuals. “Come along!” He ordered them in an autocratic voice. “We have a battle to win.”

I stood on the ground, my jaws dropped open. I had no idea what my master meant, but the group immediately lined up behind him. My master reined in his horse and growled, “We need to win!” And saying so, he rode away into the horizon, the faithful crowd sprinting along.

          As they went away from me, I could’ve sworn I saw Onew directing to me a poignant smile as he hurtled away. I watched as the huge group vanished from my sight, becoming slight, faint wisps of dust. I sighed and placed my throbbing head in my palms. “Army, battle. Were they really going to fight a war? But how could such seemingly weak people constitute his ‘army’? And how could he even hope to win? And why was he fighting a battle? Why?” The continuous stream of questions that were running through my mind tortured me and tormented me. I needed to know what was going on. I had to know. I could no longer remain oblivious to the evident strangeness of the situation. I had to know what was going on.

        The war, as our master called it, was fairly easy to win. More that anything else, it was exhausting. But we knew we had to win. We knew we would win. After all, we had a rather unfair advantage over our opponents didn’t we? We were immortal and we could never drop down on the battle field. We were indefatigable.

          We trudged along after witnessing the bloodshed or rather generating the bloodshed. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. I had killed, plunged a long sword, ruthlessly into innocent mortals’ bodies. I had destroyed their lives, all for the sake of a soulless autocrat whom I was forced to call my master. Cruel world it is….Just when I had thought, I was free from the bottomless pit of the human world, fate unjustly pressed me, forced me, compelled me back into that unforgiving world which we call earth. Mother earth, a paradise, a beauty, a priceless gift; how many flattering phrases exist that describe our earth? The only drawbacks with these descriptions are that they are sheer fabrications, merely our imaginings of how we desired the earth was, not the plain harsh reality that the earth is. The only reason people persist on in this world is because of a certain someone they can’t let go off. And in my case, it was Taemin.

             Oh, Taemin, I feel like such a fiend…I’m so close to you and yet I cannot reach out to you. I’m just a few yards away from you and yet I’m forced to look away from you. I do remember you, Taemin! Of course I do. How can I not remember your fair, smooth skin, your immaculate visage, your long strands of silky hair that dropped over your enchanting eyes protected by those long, thick eyelashes that flickered ever so often? I do remember you Taemin, only too clearly. And I wish I hadn’t had to hurt you this way. Taemin, you have no idea how you make me cringe. Last night as I saw your big, childlike eyes gaze at me with wonderment, I felt like slapping myself for pretending that I didn’t know you, pretending that your heavenly face meant nothing to me. I wanted to take you in my arms, away from that ruthless ogre of a master, but I can’t. Oh, the urge, that infuriating, maniacal impulse that tore me apart whenever I saw a slight tear appear at the corner of your striking eyes, I would rip my lowly, selfish body to shreds, if only I could. I want to save you, Taemin, from the life you’re living and yet I can only stand back and groan.

                I left you, our village, our serene existence, some four years back. I remember that day, as clearly as I’m sure you do. I had promised to return to you. But, I soon realized, promises were fickle things, crafted as though meant to be broken. And, I couldn’t fulfill my earnest pledge to revisit you, I couldn’t! Did you lose hope in me, my Taemin? Or did you still believe that I would come back? I wish I could’ve fulfilled my lackadaisical pledge to you. I now wish so wrathfully that I had never set out from that village, never left you and then maybe this day would have never come. That day when I turned into an atrocious murderer and you turned into a miserable slave. I want to explain everything to you. I want to sit beside you, brushing my aching arms slightly against your smooth ones. I want to tell all. I want to confess and bring you out of the misery you’re in, the dilemma you’re fighting. I just want to profess to you that I do remember you, every infinitesimal element of your poised countenance. I want to take you away. So many dreams cloud my sense of reality. I can’t…I cannot do any of those acts. I’m just a puppet. I can’t go against the requests of my master…I’m a filthy coward. I’m just a corpse.

              I sat down, huddled close beside the prickly undergrowth that scratched my limbs with vigor. My head bent low, almost bowing owing to the weight of anxieties and queries burdened upon my head. I couldn’t comprehend a thing. My master, where did he get such an eerie group of soldiers who obeyed him with no questions? And, how did my Onew emerge as one amongst them? Onew…he walked away a free man, just waiting to experience the world and I meet him again, as a servant, a combatant of a dictator. I’m clueless. I just want to talk to him normally, hold a decent conversation with him, reminiscence over the past that now seems so unreal. Heck, I just want him to recognize me again.

            I heard a sound of running feet and stood up instantly. They had come back. But this time, my master and his ‘army’ were accompanied by a more mortal crowd of people. My master had collected more slaves.

“Where had you been?” I asked him, as soon as he got down from his horse.

            He disregarded me, it seemed as though he was ignoring me only too often these days. He strode past me and I was left staring at the newer group of people he had brought. They seemed more human somehow, they formed small groups within themselves and stood pressed hard against each other, their frightened eyes darting to and fro. They stood, trembling, unsure of themselves. I felt their pain. I knew they had been brought here against their will. But, before Master Choi Minho, nothing matters but his languid instructions. I took small steps towards them and almost instinctively they flinched back. I went close and said to them, “Did he force you to come here?”

         The group nodded fearfully. As I observed them complacently, I was suddenly aware of a pronounced fact – there were only girls, young frightened girls. So, my master had an ‘army’ and now he needed maids. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I was aware of a slight nauseating sensation overpowering me. I was disgusted, not at my master, but at myself, for not having the courage to rebel against that unfeeling traitor. And, I was much more ashamed at myself for being unable to resist the temptation to love him.

             I walked away, aimlessly, my eyelids were barely open and I crashed into a figure. I looked up at Onew and that spark of anger I was repressing suddenly burst up. Maybe, what triggered it was a concatenation of circumstances, but whatever it was I had to vent out my wrath.

“WHY DON’T YOU REMEMBER ME?!” I yelled with all my might. “WHY CAN’T YOU SAY A WORD TO ME? WHY CAN’T YOU COMFORT ME, HUG ME, LIKE HOW YOU USED TO? IS FOUR YEARS THAT LONG A WHILE, THAT YOU CANNOT EVEN RECOLLECT MY FACE?”

 Tears spilled and rushed onto the ground. The whimpering group of girls stood thunderstruck staring at me. My emotions couldn’t be controlled. “Why can’t you remember me?” I cried bitterly, thumping my fists on the soft mud. I stared at Onew through the glassy flow of tears that marred my vision. I saw a slight spasm of pain, flit across his face. A slight flicker of recognition in his impassive eyes. I almost felt as though he was going to bend down, comfort me. But, he didn’t. He didn’t say a word.

         I made my way to a hollow space in the bower of a tree. I crawled in and rested my heavy head against the cool trunk of the tree. I was ashamed at my sudden outburst. I couldn’t figure out why I flared up like that. I was perfect, maybe lonely, but still I plowed along with my master. But, then he conjured up a battalion from nowhere. And, Onew suddenly reappeared. My master then went out to war. He brought back more slaves. Onew didn’t know me. Life seemed to pass by me in a haze. For the first time, I sensed a deep sense of regret. I wished I had not come along with him.

            He confronted me. He wept. And I did nothing. I ought to be executed for the vindictiveness I’m conferring upon the only thing that keeps me going. Taemin…I’m helpless and cowardly.

            Choi Minho, it’s you! You destroyed both our lives and yet, here we our serving you demurely. I’m disgusted at myself…I want to strangle you slowly, laugh manically as I watch you gasping for air. Look on with pleasure as I see you helpless and vulnerable. Minho, you devil, I want to every ounce of life in your worthless body. I want to make you suffer…

            And I know it, I know how Taemin adores you. I know that you know it as well. Yet, you use him. And he lets himself get used. My Taemin, my love, I see the way he s for comfort against your coarse back. I see how he gazes at you with those wide, captivated eyes that seek reassurance within your hard ones. I see how you occupy every spare inch of his thoughts. You torture him, you trifle with his fragile feelings and yet, yet he loves you like none other. How can he? How can my Taemin love the very person I am forced to languish under?

         All the days seemed to blur into nothingness. My life didn’t seem worth living anymore. I couldn’t say what had brought this strange alteration in me, but I didn’t look forward to existing anymore. But even so, I went on…He forced me to. Minho…I couldn’t even trust him anymore. He continued on the journey silently, on weeks at a stretch barely stopping a few times when the girls pleaded him to. And, the girls? I prevent myself from crying out against the unfairness as I spot their bruised arms and reddened limbs. My master had truly proved himself to be all that he proclaimed he was – ruthless and power-thirsty. A few weeks went by silently. We set along. Every morning I took my usual seat behind him and his group of ‘soldiers’ tottered along purposefully. The girls were less fortunate. They couldn’t keep up with my master or the ‘army’. They gasped for breath as they struggled along and more often than not, a thin, pretty girl would give up and lay down on the lonely road, staring, calling out silently to the heavens. Cruel, cruel life. Brutality abounds on our weeping earth.

             Several weeks had passed by and Master seldom set out alone into the darkness as he was so accustomed to do. He stayed on, deep in thought, brooding while his sharp chin with his gentle touch. Onew stayed on as well. He steadfastly refrained from looking at me, let alone conversing! I stayed on as well. I couldn’t think of any other alternative. And, moreover, I couldn’t let those frightened girls continue on that journey with Master alone.

              A while later, I noticed a sudden change come across Master’s features. The drawn, haggard look that had earlier marred his devious looks was replaced with a radiant, almost happy appearance that seemed altogether too atypical on his rough visage.

“We are going out to win again!” He said, his voice ringing in my ears.

             I looked up just in time to see him motioning to the group of people who served as his army. He hoisted himself up on his steed and I felt a sudden fear grip my heart. I knew they were out at war again. I watched trembling as I saw everyone fall into an orderly line. And then, they went. They set out to win a fight and as my master had put it so precisely, they had set out to conquer the world.

             I looked up and clasped my hands together. I whispered a silent prayer. What more could I do?

              I opened my eyes and saw the girls seated upon the ground. Their face were breaking into relieved smiles after what seemed like such a long time. I went up to them and asked them, “How did you all have to come here?” I needed to hear their side of the story. I had remained ignorant of everything for too long.

           The girls refused to part with information, so it seemed. They stared back at me with terrified expressions and I realized how scared they were of Master Minho. In their eyes, he was nothing but a terror, a horror that destroyed their peaceful lives.

              I urged them on, I tried to persuade them to tell me how they were forced here. And, finally my efforts paid off. A thin girl, almost undernourished whispered throatily, “He reduced our town into ruins and made us follow him. He killed all our families.”

              I was repulsed by my master’s inhumanity, but I was determined to get the whole story out.

“Go on...” I said, in what I hoped was a soothing tone.

Another girl seemed to gather courage from my low voice. “He just rode into our town along with that scary following of his and began wrecking havoc all around. He plunged blades into anyone who came into his way and destroyed the entire town.” The girl shuddered as she recollected that dark day when she was robbed of her happiness.

“And, he seemed invincible. The army of his, they were immortal.” A third girl continued the narrative in a low tone. “We had immediately asked for help from our neighbouring towns and all the youths came in with their simple weapons hoping to make the intruders go away. But that didn’t happen. Even though there were more of us than there were of them, we were hopelessly overpowered. Every other person was killed. He just left us alive, to make us suffer! Oh, why didn’t he just end our lives then and there?!” The girl’s self control broke down and she began to wail pathetically.

“He took over our town and all the neighbouring ones as well. And now, he’s set out again to capture more land. You see it I’m not right.” A girl comforting her weeping friend said warningly. “His sole aim is to be the most powerful. And he’ll go to any limits to achieve that.”

Power…army…battle. My master Minho wouldn’t respite unless he fulfilled his indomitable aspiration and I knew that.