(Hani)

Monday came, only a few more days till the deadline of the report.

“come on you guys, at least give me something from the ones I gave you, it’s summarized already all you have to do is narrow down some pointers.” I said and looked over at Chen and Yura who were playing with each other.

My heart broke but I am annoyed rather than hurt.

Just then Yura’s phone rang.

“oh. I have to take this. Excuse me for a while.” She said and left.

I mentally rolled my eyes, I don’t hate her but she has an attitude.

I looked at Chen who was still looking the way where Yura left, I let out a sigh and continued to type down my pointers of the report.

“how’s it going so far?” he was suddenly next to me and leaning over to see my work.

“if you weren’t too focused on playing we should’ve been done by now.” I said and my eyes narrowed.

“hey.. I was just…”

“yeah yeah I know, impressing the girl you like.” I said and continued to type. He was awfully quiet after that but my annoyance got the best of me so I let it be.

“you wanna hear about our date? I got good news.” He suddenly said

Really… really… not. If it’s about your date then it’s not good news.. for me that is.

But because I’m stupid…

“sure go ahead.” I said and I felt him scoot closer to me.

“she agreed to be courted!!”

What Chen said…

Stopped my world, stopped my breathing… stopped my heart…

It’s happening… something that I’ve been trying so hard to prevent is happening…

He’s finally found someone…

“r-really?” I asked and my voice almost croaked.

“yeah! We were at the ferris wheel and I just blurted it out. She was quiet for a while but then she agreed!!!” the smile on his face was the happiest I have ever seen.

He never once looked at me like that, he never smiled so much and got excited so much like that…

“uhmmm.. but what about that girl you liked in the volleyball club?” I suddenly asked and he gave me a strange look.

“but you said she looked weird…” he said

“how about the other one before?” I asked

“Minah? You said she had a big forehead.” He said again and I recalled the moment.

“how about Junghee?” I asked

“you said she walked like a penguin.” He said and I mentally laughed while remembering

“you remember don’t you? AISH!!! YOU LITTLE!!! Come on!! This could be my best shot!!” he whined

“why are you even asking me this??” I deadpanned

“because…” he said before smiling, the same smile that made my heart melt, the same smile that makes me feel at ease, the same smile I fell in love with.

“you’re my best friend.” He replied and that did it…

The sting in my eyes were starting to form, I broke my gaze away from him and continued to look at the laptop screen.

I was just frozen. I didn’t know what to do. The reason I made those comments about his previous crushes was because I didn’t want him to act on them (and they were partly true) but I have no escape now.

“yah Honeybee… say something… ” he said and poked me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I’m afraid if I open my eyes a tear would fall.

“that’s… great.” I smiled the best smile I could give him. I tried so hard to not show it was fake.

“so you really think I have a shot?? And you like her don’t you?? Unlike those others you found weirdness in…” he said

What’s not to like about Yura? She’s pretty, she’s kind, she’s petite and charming. Sure she has an attitude but I guess that’s just driven by my annoyance because they were no help at all in the report.

“yeah. You’ll make a great couple.” I smiled and closed my laptop and placing it in my bag.

I can’t look at Chen, I’m afraid if I open my eyes and stare at his happy ones… I’ll break.

“hey where are you going??” he asked

“oh.. bathroom. I suddenly had the urge to pee.” I chuckled

“you’re really weird you know?” he laughed

“I know.” I smiled

“it’s one of the things I love about you… thanks for considering this honeybee. You’re the best best friend ever.” He smiled and gave me a hug.

I inhaled his scent and hugged him back before pushing him away and walking to the door. As soon as I opened the door, my tears started to fall.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. It hurts so much.

And I was even the one to tell him that they’d make a good couple..

STUPID GIRL!!! You just HAD to ask didn’t you??!

Why must I be like this!!? My must I fall in love with my best friend!?!?

why must I carry this sick and heavy burden just because I value our friendship more!?

Why am I talking to mys------ OW!!!!

My made contact with the floor and I groaned before looking up to see who I had bumped into.

“Hani??”

Baekhyun…

“OH MY GOSH WHAT HAPPENED HANI?!!? ARE YOU OKAY??!?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING!?!?” he helped me up and held my face.

“HANI TALK TO ME ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?!? WHAT HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU-----” I cut his rambling when I circled my arms around his neck.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore…. I held him tight and I cried my heart out.

The pain in my chest piercing me after every sob I let out. My heart that was broken into a million pieces, turned to a billion.

--

“so he finally did it huh?” Baekhyun asked, we were at the rooftop where he dragged me away to calm me down.

“and you’re really not going to tell him how you feel??” he asked again and looked at me.

“no. he’s really happy with his decision. I’m sure they’d end up a great couple.” I replied

“but what about you?? Will you be happy?? You can’t force yourself to hide anymore Hani… this is too much.” He said

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get over it. what matters is that he’s happy. If he’s happy… I’m happy.” I forced a smile.

“but Hani…”

“besides, I don’t want to give Chen trouble. He’s happy already. I don’t want to be the one to ruin it.” I softly said and then there was dead silence.

I don’t want to squeeze myself in with Chen and Yura, if they’re happy, then I should be happy for them. It’s the least I could do as…

A best friend.

--

“are you sure I’m not taking you home?” Chen asked for the nth time.

“yes I’m sure. You need to stop taking me home now Chen, you’re gonna have a girlfriend soon… so you should start taking her home.” I smiled

My own words burned me but I had to do it. I need to start living a life without Chen by my side, because I know… in time… he’ll be gone, he’ll be too busy to tend to me when he has Yura to tend to already.

“don’t say that. I’ll always be here for you, to take you to school and to take you home. I may have a girlfriend soon but you’re still my best friend and I’ll be there for you every time.” He looked at me sadly

And now I feel guilty… but I have to do this, I need be used to the fact that Chen won’t always be there, even if he says he will be.

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i got nothing to say...