Every day, I secretly chase after your footsteps

I’m always careful so you won’t notice

No one says it but our date has started, our own date

 

Luhan was excited. More than excited really. Luhan was eager to finally start his job as a shadow.

 

Most people would have thought shadows were just a simple trick of light not shining through solid objects, when in actuality it had everything to do with the Shadow Corps. The made sure everyone and everything had a shadow to it. It was up to them to make sure that they don’t fail as a shadow and ever leave their host’s side.

 

Today was the day Luhan got his first host and he was going to make damn sure he was the best shadow he could be.

 

As Luhan entered headquarters, he stopped to take in the sight. He wasn’t going to see this much after his job begins. With a sigh and flip of his blond hair, he walked to Wu Fan's office.

 

“You’re late.” Wufan stated.

 

“I know, I just kinda wanted to say goodbye to headquarters before I leave. So who will I be so as lucky to be shadowing for?” Luhan chirps.

 

Wu Fan's tosses him a thin manilla folder . Luhan catches it with ease and quickly flips through it. In the folder is a file for a one Kim Minseok.

 

Kim Minseok, age 23, height 173cm. Luhan looks up at Wu Fan with an ever present smile.

 

“So I guess this is goodbye for now?” Luhan asks.

 

“I guess it is.” Wu Fan nods.

 

With a silent exchange of goodbyes between the two Luah exits the room. He grabs his bag and head to the world bus.

 

With one look back Luhan steps onto the bus ready for whats to come next.

 

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Where are you going? Step by step, I follow you

Without a word, you lead me

Step by step, did you notice me? I have nowhere to hide

 

When Luhan arrives at Minseok’s door he’s not sure he’s ready to see the man just yet. One could say he was nervous, others might say he was scared. Those people would be right. He was unnerved.

 

Luahn stood there quaking, frozen to the spot, staring at the door like a crackpot. With one last shaky breath he walks through the door.

 

Luhan wasn't so sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting a spotless apartment. The sleek walls a mix of white by the windows and mahogany texture by the kitchen entrance. The curtains were white and a creamy coffee color. Not a spec of dust on the dark hardwood floors, not even under one of the three medium sized couches situated around a glass coffee table. Slowly Luhan ventures his way toward the kitchen. Looking around he noticed an island bar, bare of most anything except for a net pile of papers stacked on the farthest end of the bar.

 

Suddenly from Luhan’s left he heard a door opening. As fast as he could, Luhan jumped into the nearest hallway to camouflage himself from the descending figure.

 

Luhan gasped. Sure he’s seen Minseoks picture, but to see him in real life was different. Pictures did Minseok no justice, Luhan had thought.

 

Minseok had paused at the thought of hearing something, or someone in his house. With a causes stance, he continued into the hallway Luhan currently occupied.

 

Without being noticed Luhan casually, just as he was taught, slipped into step with MInseok. From there he focused hard on what shape to take to make sure he would match Minseok. With the blink of an eye, Luhan had become Minseok’s shadow without his knowing.

 

-------------------------

 

When the sun rises, I walk in sync and together with you

I am really really into you

When the moon rises, you fall asleep in my arms

I really really like you

 

Luhan stood there looking into the mirror as Minseok shaved. He was fascinated to say the least. Luahn being from the Shadow realm of the world never really had to learn to shave, considering they were the one that picked what they looked like at all times. A few moments later and Minseok was done shaving and was now styling his short orangish-brown hair. With it his hair spiked in the front, a blue button down shirt on, and a pair or black slacks that may or may not be too tight to call office pants, Minseok was off to work, bag carefully placed over his shoulder.

 

There was two things Luhan noticed while walking alongside Minseok. First, he walked just as precise as his apartment look (It must just be an OCD thing he has, no?). Secondly, Minseok seemed to just smile to himself. He seemed like life was all sunshine and froliking thorugh the flowers. Luhan admired that about him. Sure he’s only know the guy for a week but he never seemed to not smile. Even if it was a little one, he smiled as much as he could.

 

With those little smiles, Minseok unintentionally stole a piece of Luhan heart each time.

 

That night as Minseok get ready to sleep, Luhan just stares. It’s been like this for the past week. For the past week he’s been bugged while trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in while being attached to the red head. He really hasn’t slept too well because of this predicament.

 

Minseok finally settles down to nod off into dream land. Twenty minutes pass and Luhan really can’t take another sleepless night. With a huff  he shuffles so that he’s lying on his side, knees knocking on the back of the youngers. Luhan hold his breath. Cautiously he slides a little closer to Minseok until the younger is in his arms. Luhan lets his breath go as Minseok leans back into his body heat (it’s funny that he doesn’t really know a persons been the one keeping him warm all week while he sleeps). Luhan rests his head atop Minseok’s and slowly drifts off to sleep with the thought of the younger on his mind.

 

And just like that Another piece of Luhans hart goes to Minseok.

 

---------------------------------

 

Day by day, we resemble each other more and more

Your laughter and tears, I know it all

Don’t be scared, we’re a fate tied by the sun, it’s our destiny to be together

 

Time sure does move fast when you love what you do. Everyday Luhan learns from and acts a little more like Minseok. It’s to the point Luhan’s pretty sure he knows everything there is to about the red head.

 

Luhan knows how Minseok’s smiles almost always reach his eyes. How when he cries his face scrunches up as if to try and keep the tears at bay if only for a little while longer. How when he’s nervous he has a habit of running his hands through his hair and bit his lip nervously. How when the younger is excited, he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. How, when Minseok is afraid he closes his eyes and curls up into a fetal position. If given the option of being home and scared, he also likes to hide under his blankets like a child scared of a thunderstorm.

 

It’s times like when Minseok cowers in his blankets and isn’t able to see his shadow that Luhan gathers the courage to wrap his arms around the former and hold him. Sure Luhan knows these are one the list of things he shouldn’t be doing, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t like seeing Minseok so scared. It makes his stomach lurch at the thought. So all Luhan can really do his hold him until the sun comes up and there are no more fears in the dark.

 

Luhan believes this is why he was chosen to be Minseok’s shadow. So he can protect him, hold him, and all in all love him the way Luhan feels he should.

 

----------------------------------

 

 

Where are you going? Step by step, I follow you

Without a word, you lead me

Step by step, will you notice me? I don’t want to hide

 

On this day Luhan follows Minseok to an unknown destination. From all the times they have left the house, Luhan doesn’t remember ever going to this place. They walk up to a nice medium sized cream colored house. The lawn has shrubbery  lining up the front of the house, one lone tree off to the side and, the lawn itself a healthy shade of green.

 

Upon knocking on the door a man with a defined jaw line, sharp eyes, a cat like grin, and tousled chocolate brown hair. Minseok looks absolutely delighted to see the man. Luhan can’t help but feel a little jealous.

 

This isn’t the first time Luhan has thought about what it would be like if he was able to roam free, to hold Minseok and to have him cling back. This isn’t the first time Luhan all together just wanted for Minseok to notice him.

 

He wants from him to look at him the way he looks at this Jongdae kid. To smile at him like he does when his co-worker Baekhyun tells him an outrageous story. Luhan wants more than anything for Minseok to love him back. He knows it’s impossible and it tears him up on the inside. Yet Luhan can’t think of anything more that he want’s than the man he follows soundlessly everyday. The man who unintentionally stole his heart and refused to give it back.

 

Luhan doesn’t want to do this anymore.

 

--------------------------------------

 

When the sun rises, I walk in sync and together with you

I am really really into you

When the moon rises, you fall asleep in my arms

I really really like you

 

Luhan goes through the same cycle as when he had first been assigned. Wake up with Minseok, get ready with Minseok, walk to work with Minseok, walk downtown to the gym with Minseok, Workout with Minseok, take the subway home with Minseok, cook dinner or eat out with Minseok, get ready for bed with Minseok, then finally fall asleep with Minseok in his arms.

 

Luhan’s whole day was; do this with Minseok, do that with Minseok, pick this up with Minseok, Minseok this, Minseok that.

 

Luahn finds it hard to fall asleep again a year after his day working. It’s hard to cradle the one you love, but the former having no idea you exist. That they most likely never will know all this time it’s been you who’s been secretly looking after them.

 

Luhan can’t bear to hear and feel his heart break anymore.

 

-------------------------------------------

 

The person in the mirror is smiling with you, I don’t know

Underneath your feet, without an expression, I hide behind you

 

Being a shadow can be a hard job, or so Luhan thinks. It frustrating wanting to always look at the one above you and slipping your form for a split second.

 

Luhan is nothing like Minseok’s mirror image. This person get’s to show Minseok how he looks every day, get’s to show him how precious his smile is, and most of all, gets to show the younger just how perfect he is.

 

Luhan, on the other hand, cannot show Minseok these. All he can show him is that he’s a solid figure. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Sighing to himself, Luhan give out an expressionless stare toward Minseok and his reflection. All he want’s is for Minseok to know how perfect he is.

 

Luhan now wishes he was part of the reflection corp.

 

------------------------------------------------

 

The person in the mirror is shining

So I can get jealous of the smile that resembles you

I stick closer to you and we are connected

When the sun rises, I walk in sync and together with you

I am really really into you

 

Luhan hates him, can’t stand him, loathes him even.

 

The reflection (also known as Yixing, as Luhan had found out) just seemed to make Minseok happy or dejected. Yet no matter what he seemed to shine. At first Luhan had thought it was a trick of the light. But as it seemed to happen more and more, he realised that Yixing himself made Minseok’s reflection shine, made him look even more flawless than Luhan thought he was.

 

That’s when Luhan realized that maybe it wasn’t a trick crafted by Yixing, but in fact Minseok himself. Luhan had realised that Yixing blinding shine was just him reflecting back Minseok’s smile.

 

Luhan gave Yixing props. He didn’t think anyone or anything could capture the beauty of Minseok’s lovely smile. Yet the younger pulled it off flawlessly.

 

Luhan despised it.

 

With his new found knowledge, from that day on Luhan had stuck as close to Minseok as he possibly could. He felt a little better knowing that only he could be this close to Minseok. That only he could be connected with the younger like this.

 

With the light of a new day, they go about their routine.

 

Luhan thinks he might be able to handle this a little more.

 

----------------------------------------------------------

 

When the moon rises, you fall asleep in my arms

I really really like you

When the sun rises, I walk in sync and together with you

I am really really into you

When the moon rises, you fall asleep in my arms

I really really like you

 

There’s a change one night. Minseok brings home Jongdae. They have been seeing each other a lot as of late. It worries Luhan because he knows that look in Minseok’s eye. That look of adoration had changed into sneaky looks of longing and then, dare Luhan say it, into looks of love.

It wasn’t until this night that Luhan’s worst nightmares had come true. There was no way for Minseok to love him back if he had Jongdae there in the flesh with him. All Luhan was, was, was Minseok’s stupid obscurity. All he could do was be something that no one really thought of,but knew existed.

 

Day, by day. Night, by night. Luhan and Minseok’s morning routine had now gained more company than Luhan had bargained for. Slowly it became Minseok and Jongdae’s morning routine with Luhan slowly dragging behind.

 

Still even as Luhan watches Minseok and Jongdae become an item, become something Luhan only wishes he and Minseok could be, he can’t be mad at Jongdae.

 

Yes, he is still incredibly jealous, but, where Luhan can only wish to be with Minseok that way, Jongdae actually can. He can roam free and do as he pleases. Luhan has to keep himself hidden so he doesn’t defoil his realm to these people. Jongdae can kiss Minseok, even make love to him.

 

All Luhan can do, is hold Minseok tight at night alongside Jongdae and hope to god that this will be enough.

 

That night when Luhan holds Minseok for the night, Minseok looks over and smiles. He doesn’t smile at Jongdae, or himself. He looks right at Luhan and smiles with a knowing nod.

 

For the first time in a while, Luhan knows just being his shadow, holding Minseok like no one else can is enough.