“Seven Legends?” Kyungsoo squints at the flock of teenage boys clearly dominating the center of the gym and pushes up his glasses as he continues to stare. He tries counting, but gives up because they’re all moving around too much like flocks of intoxicated fauna. “That sounds familiar.”

Xiumin,the Judo club manager, puffs out his cheeks and proceeds to resemble the perfect side of a perfectly steamed bun. “Kris was reading some manga when he stumbled upon the name. Since the seven of them are black belts, why not, right?”

Kyungsoo frowns, struggling with the white stiff belt wrapped around his waist. “Who’s Kris?”

Xiumin finishes tying his and fails to notice Kyungsoo’s apparent inexperience in the art of looping materials around his waist the right way.

“Oh. I remember now.” Xiumin says, eyes lighting up. “He wasn’t reading a manga, he was watching Snow White on Disney. You know, the seven dwarves?”

Kyungsoo tries not to feel offended that Xiumin has entirely ignored his question and asks, again,

“Who’s Kris?”

Xiumin jerks his chin up at the group of boys he calls the Seven Legends. “That. The tallest freak there.”

Kyungsoo follows Xiumin’s gaze, eyes dilating.”The one standing on his hands?” Kyungsoo lets out an uncontained gasp as a boy that looks no less than 8-foot tall starts tipping himself upside down—and starts plodding around on his palms. Xiumin merely laughs like this is an everyday thing—which,in this case, must be.

“Yeah, don’t mind him. A bit whack in the head, that one.”

Kyungsoo swallows and hopes Judo Club doesn’t require any palm-walking from him anytime soon.

“Ah yes, you ready?” Xiumin takes a bite of something that looks suspiciously like dog biscuit and then shoves it up his sleeve, like a squirrel hoarding food in his tree hole. “We’ve met President Kim so I’ll introduce you to Kris and the others. Kris’ the VP.”

Kyungsoo nods. When they met the President, he was begging a bunch of first-years to take Judo seriously. Do Kyungsoo has never seen any other President who begs as well as Kim Junmyeon, it was kind of inspiring to see his features contort into something so pitiable and to hear his emotional, heart-wrenching words. Kyungsoo almost had a tear in his eye, but he was quickly yanked away by Xiumin.

Back to the present time, Xiumin massages Kyungsoo’s shoulders as they walk. “Okay, so um—you can just ignore Chanyeol—that’s the other tall guy who cannot keep his mouth shut about submarines. Don’t forget to smile at Tao and uh, oh yeah, whatever you do, DON’T touch Luhan—“

Xiumin abruptly stops whispering and clears his throat. He puffs out his chest, and Kyungsoo thinks he looks like a mighty important rodent. “Heyya, Kris.”

Kris looks up (or down, from his inverted position) at them, thick eyebrows shooting up as he registers the presence of a new club member. He does a flip and walla! The boy’s on his feet again.

“Ey, sup?” Kris grins, one corner of his lips lifting up in a frenzy manner. His eyes fall on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo suddenly feels preyed upon, like a little Xiumin mouse, seconds away from being feasted by a python. “New meat?”

Kyungsoo gulps and adjusts his spectacles. Oh, God. Was he just called ‘meat’?

“YEAH!” Xiumin chirps, patting Kyungsoo on the back that makes Kyungsoo’s knee buckle and emitting a deranged high-pitch laugh that sets Kyungsoo’s teeth gritting. “NEW. MEAT.” Cue more thumps on Kyungsoo’s back, damn it.

“He’s cute!” Someone bounds into Kyungsoo’s view and his words don’t match his image as Kyungsoo lays his eyes on lean muscles, tanned skin and extremely apparent eyebags. The only thing that doesn’t fit into his face is his childishly pretty grin, pulled across his lips and up to his eyes. Kris stretches out his (wow, so long) hand and pushes Eyebags Boy gently backwards.

Kyungsoo sees Tall Freak Kris (as Xiumin had put it earlier) roll his eyes. “Tao, please. No need to agitate this fresh piece of complexly-built protein. It already looks like it may piss itself, poor thing.”

Scowling and headbutting Kris’ head sounds like the best thing Kyungsoo should be doing right now, but he refrains. Mainly because they’re almost a head taller than him and he wouldn’t reach them to properly plant one, but partly because someone has caught his attention once they dissipate to other areas of the big blue mat.

Someone tall (but not as tall as Kris). Someone dark (well, he’s not that dark but the olive tan of his complexion is quite strangely attractive). And someone handsome (this Kyungsoo has nothing to comment on, but would like to assert that he is not only handsome, he is, in fact, very handsome.)

“Yes, he is.”

Jumping in fright, Kyungsoo turns to the source of the voice in horror, who seems faintly pleased to catch Kyungsoo talking to himself as his brown eyes dart back to Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome. As Kyungsoo picks up his Judo belt which has fallen off from his obtrusive flinching, the nosy boy crouches in front of him suddenly and unnecessarily.

“Hello, I am Sehun.”

Kyungsoo lets out a loud yelp at the unexpected proximity of the boy’s face to him; then flops onto his back like the most useless Pokémon that has ever graced the universe : Magikarp.

Kyungsoo uses splash, but nothing happens.

Kyungsoo uses splash, again, but—

“Are you okay?”

Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome uses Voice, and it is super effective!

“I uh—“ Kyungsoo squints to make out the face in front of him (although he would rather make out with the face in front of him, hint, hint), thus finally realizing that the reason he has been flailing around on the floor is because he could not find his overly-used spectacles. How vapid of him (as if that’s a surprise anymore). He mans up because that’s necessary when you’re faced with such staggering beauty. “Hey, can you see my glasses anywhere?”

And where did that Sehun-dip-head go, who is the sole person responsible for all of this?

“Is it this one?” The olive-skinned boy asks, like they’re in a room full of flying keys and had to use brooms to catch the one with the crooked wing—wait, what?

Kyungsoo makes another flounder of his fins before finally grabbing said item of eyesight-improvement and smashing it to his face. Ah, he could see again. And what’s this? A hand extended towards him—should he take it? Or be stupid and not—no, Kyungsoo, his mind shouts, rampant. Take it before I massacre your brain cells.

So Kyungsoo takes the hand, shaking it a little longer than necessary which earns him a deprecating, hot stare from Mr Tall, Dark—

“He’s Jongin!” Someone shouts from over yonder and Kyungsoo recognizes him as that Sehun boy, his shoulder weighed with someone who looks almost like him except for the somber eyes and small lips.

Kyungsoo could swear Jongin (Kyungsoo chastises himself for thinking it sounds like jogging because it most definitely does not) had rolled his eyes as he pulls back his arm, away from Kyungsoo’s hormonally-driven limbs.

Kyungsoo is about to ask Jongin if he goes to the tanning spa downtown or if he just like sunbathing, but without another word the boy ups and leaves Kyungsoo sprawled in a mermaid-like position on the floor (with the feet and all—seriously Kyungsoo what is wrong with you?).

But then Kyungsoo finds out it is a miracle he didn’t ask that question, because Jongin’s skin colour is natural.

A/N: i know. i'm confused too so let's bask in this confusion