HOON|AJ|KISEOP| D O N G H O |KEVIN|ELI|SOOHYUN

Soohyun scribbled quickly into his notebook, watching the scenes unfold before him with heavy breaths as he took every note.

October Dongho's Final Day, 2013

Everybody crowded into Dongho's little room in his apartment and watched him pack while they talked to him. Layers upon layers of things did he pack into two suitcases, furniture and the like going into boxes packed days before. Kevin, Eli and I sat on his bed. Kiseop sat in Hoon's lap in a foldable chair, and AJ sat at their feet.

"Ah, doesn't this make Kevin the maknae now?" AJ asked, looking over at the younger.

"I guess it does," he laughed.

"Feel my pain hyung, feel it," Dongho joked, patting said maknae's shoulder.

We all seemed to know it wasn't true though. Everybody - fans, antis, other fandoms, cordi noonas - knew we took care of our maknae the best. And if he hadn't decided to leave we would continue to do so. If he was sick we'd always leave a reassuring note and breakfast for him before we fulfilled our schedules. If he was hurt we never really wanted to leave his side, but we forced to cuddle him with pillows on the couch instead. If he was feeling down we always refused to let him go out and frustrate himself more with demanding appearances and expressions; in fact, we even wanted to stay and play with him until he was back to our smiling maknae again.

Dongho proceeded to put his clothes and fabric materials in next. We watched as he messily folded a shirt before carefully placing his baseball mitt into the corner, ball and hat placed beside it. Kiseop leaned forward when he set a frame face down in the suitcase, reaching out to pick it up, nearly falling before Hoon caught him by the waist.

"What is it?" Asked Hoon, tapping the glass frame.

"What- Oh, that's the picture when Soohyun and I went to the baseball game," Dongho said happily, reaching his hand out for it back. "I lost the picture with both of us in it, so I just printed our selcas."

Once he received it back he showed it to us, and sure enough there were two rectangular pictures in the frame; on the top was Dongho's adorable face with a v-sign, and at the bottom mine with an open-mouthed smile. Eli smiled and Kevin aww'ed at it, saying we were cute together.

"They're always cute together," Eli stated and playfully punched my shoulder.

"Are you implying something?" I questioned, tilting my head up at him.

He snickered and leaned back into Kevin, stopping the conversation.

We watched and watched and made small talk that wasn't notable. 

Dongho pressed layers of clothes and photos in one suitcase, electronics and toiletries in the other. It was like a memory cake of U-KISS and Dongho. First layer: clothes worn on a daily basis with souvineir shirts from variety shows. Second layer: photo frames and personal trinkets from us and other people of the idol world. Third layer: fan letters and simple letters and videos from us. It pains me to think that our entire five years together could just be smashed into a rectangle and the rest in square boxes; it's like our time spent is worth cardboard and plastic.

Everything we did - me, AJ, Eli, Hoon, Kiseop, Kevin, even Alexander and Kibum - was so much more than that. So much more than just tough interviews, funny variety shows, and extrvagant concerts. No. It was deciding whether to tell a secret life behind the camera or not. It was deciding whether our humor had gone beyond and had become disrespectful. It was crying and screaming at another award, smiling past our ears for the chants of a sea of fans. But that was just in public.

Before the camera came our personal lives with each other. Feelings, thoughts, struggles had all become one so that when one was out of sorts, it affected all of us. Nothing got past each other. Nothing was left unsaid.

And now, here we were, sitting in his room watching him shove all of it into a suitcase, layers upon layers. 

Soohyun felt a finger tap on his shoulder, and when he looked up he was greeted with Kevin's angel face. He noticed we were all preparing to leave for Dongho's new home, where he would have better chances at the normal life he wants. Hoon held the foldable chair and waved at them to hurry up. Soohyun shut the book and hurried out of the room, watching as Kiseop and Eli carried his suitcases into the van and everyone else but Dongho pile into the vehicle.

Dongho pulled the eldest to the side, in the foyer where tinted glass seperated them from the other members. He had a small smile as he held his hand.

"Yah, all you did was write in your notebook; how rude," he teased, gently smacking him.

He laughed and ruffled his hair.

"We'll be staying for a bit once we get to your new place, don't worry," Soohyun cooed.

"Still."

The older sighed and pulled the other into a loose hug, nuzzling his nose into soft black hair; he smelled refreshingly sweet. Dongho let his arms wrap around this torso and rested his head on his shoulder.

"You'll come visit once in awhile, right? See our concerts and watch our shows. . . "

"Of course," Dongho whispered. "I wouldn't miss seeing you guys for the world."

"Everyone?"

"Mostly you; if that's what you wanted to hear," he chuckled into Soohyun's neck.

"It is. I'll miss you," Soohyun muttered. "A lot."

At this, Dongho didn't really have enough happy energy in him to say a simple 'me too' anymore. Missing him. That was something he had never really dealt with ever. Sure, they had different schedules often, but now this was a whole different kind of missing him. No more seeing him everyday, laughing with him, taking pictures. It was something he never really thought about.

"Dongho? What's wrong?"

Soohyun felt hot wet spots through his shirt, and when he looked down Dongho had his face buried into his shoulder, trembling slightly. 

"Dongho, look at me; what's wrong?" He pressed softly, rubbing his hand up and down his back.

"I-I don't want to l-leave anym-more," he hicupped and fisted Soohyun's shirt.

"You have to. . . You're stressing out and frustrated, tired all the time. You need to taste the life of a normal person."

He continued to coo sweet reassuring words into his reddening ears, listening to his whines and whimpers grow louder with each syllable. 

"It's not like we're leaving forever, you know that. If we ever get a free day we'll be sure to call you, okay? Kevin can tell you about being the maknae, and Eli can do his pigeon impression. . . Nothing is forever Dongho. . . "

"Except for u-us, r-r-right. . . ?"

Soohyun nodded, "Except for us; we'll always be together. And not just us, but all of U-KISS."

Gentle warm hands cupped Dongho's cheeks, bringing his face up to meet Soohyun's smiling features. Red face, puffy watery eyes, and lips parted to sperrodically take in air, the older couldn't help but feel like it was his fault; his fault he wanted to leave. But we all knew it wasn't the case.

He leaned down slowly, letting their breaths mingle in an anticipating second before Dongho tip-toed and pressed their lips together in the sweetest way possible. It wasn't rushed, nor was it too slow. It was just right, everything was, as their lips molded perfectly into each others and moved in a romantic dance. Dongho's mouth was hot, and Soohyun could feel the tears transfer onto his own skin.

They pulled away at the same time, sharing another smile as Soohyun moved his thumb over the tear trails and his red lips.

"Maknae and Leader, we're ready once you stop disappearing and doing weird stuff," Kiseop said, opening the door and peeking at them.

"If we do weird stuff, then you and Hoon do freaky stuff," Dongho bit back, redeeming his type B self once more.

As all three headed for the van, Dongho and Soohyun held hands and pressed closed to each other. In the van, they shared one seat, right next to his layered suitcase cake.

HOON | AJ | KISEOP | KEVIN | ELI |SOOHYUN

I really loved Dongho, and right after seeing his personality in variety shows I already knew he'd be my bias. Our personalities and actions were similiar, I couldn't help but feel attracted to that. But, it seems celebrity life isn't what he intends to do for the rest of his life and has decided to call quits and catch up on a "normal life". I hope he will be able to live the life he wants without fans bothering him. Saranghae!

Aha, what I wrote about Dongho moving is most likely not true; I have decided to stay away from reading into it anymore because it pains my heart. Also, sorry this is late! Hope Kiss-Me's love for Dongho will always be the same, and we can all wish him the best!

One more thing, this was no edited. And I literally did this all at once, so it might not make sense...