You guys are probably gonna kill me for not updating for so long. 

Apparently everything in high school is scary . Every0ne is labeled as something and it urks me to the point where i don't even want to step in school anymore. I hated high school from year one till my last year now. I've had  two boyfriends but both were nothing but plain jerks. I'm not the typical popular cheerleader you think I would be. Going back to labelling the students here, you guys may be wondering what i am labelled as. Loner. Well not literally, there's my bestfriend, Katie. The only person i can trust in this school. The only person i can talk to. Students here would always be finding a reason to judge or to hate on someone. Don't understand why i used to fancy about growing up and to go to high school. Yes, high school is fun but it kills you slowly at times. 

I walked through the hallway and as usual, some would be laughing at me because of the way i dress. Couples would be making out against the locker and there.. the popular chicks with the guys at the end of hallway. If other students mess with their boyfriends - well not really - the girls would start raging ridicoulously. They feel like the soccer guys are only for them and it annoys the out of me. As I walked pass them, they didn't pay attention to me, not that i wanted to until I bumped into a perfectly tall guy and my books fell. Great. Now all eyes are on me. I, bend down to pick it up slowly, not caring if they were looking or not. Or how unglam I look infront of the popular kids, I honestly don't care anymore. My books were picked up by an unrecognised hand as the person helped me up. I took the books away from i believe its a he and looked up to look at the guy. Jongin. He' the guy i used to crush on for both my freshman and junior years. To think about it again, I felt really stupid - and to remember about what he did to me ...

I bit my lips and bowed my head, thanking him lowly as i walked away. Even with my back facing him, I could still feel as if his eyes were still on me but again, I thought it was really stupid for me to think that he has attention on me. All this while, he had never even spoken to me. 

----

Class started way back and now everyone was anxious to for the bell to ring. It was the most boring lesson for the day, History. My teacher was continously blabbering about things that I obviously have no intrest on as  I scrabble around my notebook. I heard a soft 'psst' and turn to see Katie mouthing  an 'movie later' as she smiled widely. I smiled back and nodded my head before going back to my notebook. I was tired but I never actually let Katie down. Eventhough she's really understanding, I still do not like seeing her not being able to do what she wanted because of me. I looked towards the class clock, waiting for the long hand to strike to twelve and there was still a minute left. As i looked awa, the bell rang. Students cheered and everyone rushed out the classroom. I kept my books in my bag and stood up to walk towards Katie.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked, as we went out with our arms linked.

"You know about The Fault In Our Stars right! Haven't you been dying to watch it?" I giggled and nodded my head.

"Yea, alright then, lets watch that." Katie smiled and just as we were about to turn for the toilet, her phone rang.

We stopped walking  as i waited for her to end the call. Her facial expressions made me grew curious and worried about the conversation she's having. I mouthed a "why?" as she lifted her palm, signaling me to wait. I nodded and looked around the almost empty hallway. My eyes landed on a tall good looking guy who was apparently looking straight back at me. I broke the eye contact first and turn my attention on Katie. 

Just in time, she hunged up the phone call.

"Whats wrong?" I asked, trying so hard to ignore the guy leaning against the wall and is most probably trying to distract me.

"My mom," She continued. "She's sick, I have to go now .." 

My eyes widened, immideatly asking her to go home and meet her mom. I told her it was okay for the plan to be cancelled because obviously her mom is so much more important. I hated the way Katie still looked worried and guilty about the cancellation of plan until i told her strictly to go and it was clear she did. She never denies me. I waved at her and told her to be careful as I watch her figure slowly dissappearing. I stood there for awhile, thinking of where i should go. I don't want to go home this early, perhaps there was no one home and I am just sick and tired of everything that is going on in the, somehow you could said 'hell'. I sighed lowly, but loud enough for the person behind me to hear.

"No other plans?" He said as I spun around to look at him.

"No. And what are you doing here Jongin?" I asked, simply not giving any much attention to him.

"Just to see you. Want to go somewhere?" Jongin asked as he stepped closer to me. I could clearly see how tall and goodlooking he is by now - well not really. I've known that since junior year but..

"With you?" 

"Yes with me Minji." 

I shrugged. Not that I did not want to go, it's just - wouldn't it be a little too awkward for us to be alone together? Before i could answer, a light grip on wrist was felt before I was pulled along with him to our school lift. He pressed the button of the lift and we waited for it to come down to our level. With his smooth hands still on my wrist, he pulled me inside gently as he pressed the button to the highest floor. "Where are we going?" I asked, nudging him with the hand that he was holding. "You'll see." It was just a short reply before we both went silent again. Once we reach the last floor, it was a floor where the activity hall is located which is basically used for most dancers. And he is one of them. I was thinking his intention was just to bring me there, not until he pulled me to the staircase that leads to the school rooftop. My eyes widened as I immideatly rushed infront of him.

"What the hell are you doing? We're gonna get caught." Turning around to look at thegate covering the stairs. "Besides you have no keys to unlock the gate." 

Jongin had always been the king of smirking you see. And he just did it to me and I could faint right there but fortunately I didn't. Just as he did that, the school maintainence came and I was prepared for a 'What are you guys doing!' or 'Im bringing you to the principal's office' but that didn't happen. Instead he smiled at Jongin and threw him the gate keys.

"Again huh young man, I knew at this time you're gonna come up," The man laughed and tapped Jongin's shoulder before walking away.

I gave Jongin a explain-to-me-what-just-happened look and he giggled before unlocking the gate. Letting my wrist rest finally but not until he grabbed it again to walk up the stairs. A few more steps and as I looked up to see, the view was amazing. The rooftop was too beautiful for me to even handle. The flowers blooming all over and not forgetting the fancy and classic located near the pots of small trees. There was also a swing chair with nice colourful strings wrapped around the bars. I pushed Jongins hand away and walked closer to all the flowers and benches and everything i see. The view of the blazing sun and blue skies made me smile so widely. Just imagine the beautiful view.. just imagine it was you standing there enjoying the smooth breeze. I turned around and walked towards Jongin. He was standing there with his big hands in his pockets as he down to look at me. Jongin gave a me a small smile and I finally ree.

"This is beautiful Jongin," I said, looking around once more before giving my attention to him again.

"I know. This is the only place I can find peace in. My friends go out to have fun and I.. I just stay here. Alone." He replied as he walked towards the swing bench and sit on it. 

I followed him and sat beside him as we both swung the bench together. I looked at him and pretty much examined his beautiful manly feature and looked away immideatly when he turned to face me. I could hear him chuckle at the back of my ear and my cheeks turn red after a such a long time. Even so, I still could not forget whatver he had done to me. Because of him I was messed up and honestly, it was not entirely his fault. He just made it worst knowing that I have problems at home but he just spoiled me fully.

"I wanted to talk to you." He suddenly spoke. "About what happened a year ago." I get what he meant immideatly.

"Look, I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I messed you up and I spoiled you and left without a single trace. I knew you liked me but I gave you high hopes and left you hanging. Went on with Krystal and laughed along with her when she joked about you. I honestly don't know what has gone into me. I was too busy finding the girl with perfect face and body and not the perfect personality. Despite the pain you've gone through at home, you were there when I needed you. I still hate myself because of this, knowing im the cause of someones messed up life. It doesn't feel good okay and I don't know what is about Krystal that I thought she was the one for me." 

I couldn't say anything, pratically and mentally speechless. Not because of his words, it was because I found out that he actually does still care about this matter. All this while I was thinking he let the problem go and is having a happy life with that , oops, I meant Krystal. Sorry, i'm just mad. But anyways, going back to him, he actually is a nice guy. I know he is but the sudden change at that point of time hit me so hard I kinda just broke down. I looked towards him and smiled. 

"Whatever that happened, had happened.That won't change, we can't go back in time. The only thing that change is you. You can change into a better person and prove to me. Eitherways.." I unconciously lifted up my sleeve - it's a habit. "It's fine."

I looked away and turned to look at he sky and the moving clouds not realising that my arm was actually exposed.From the side, I could see how Jongin's attention was not on the scenery but on me. I turned to look at him and saw him staring at me as he moved closer and held my hand. He stood up and pulled me along with him, pulling my closer by the waist as he wrapped my arms around his neck. Without any source of music, he started swaying our body together as he layed his chin on my shoulder.

"How long?" He whispered as he rubbed the sides of my waist.

"How long what?" I replied, praying that it was not because of my scars.

"How long did you need to suffer without anyone by your side when you needed one and had to hurt yourself badly?"

I kept quiet. Oh god, i'm doomed. I felt him pulling away from me and grabbed my arms gently, rolling up the sleeve that origanally fall back to its place as he took a good look at the neat scars, laying on m used to be clean wrist. I looked at the way his eyes examined every single scar, tracing them with his thumb before he looked at me. I looked away awkwardly, not knowing how the hell am I supposed to face him. 

"This is the reason why you dont wear dresesses? The reason why you don't show your legs? I know there are scars on your thighs Minji. This is the reason why you always have long sleeves on isn't it?" I gulped, speechless, all over again. 

He pushed me to the bench and kneeled down infront of me. Still holding onto my arms, he leaned in to kiss every single scar with him mumbling "Don't" "Cut" "Yourself" "Anymore" "Because" "I" "Love" and he stopped there, much to my dissapointment cause' I want him to say everything. He looked up and leaned his forhead against mine. 

"You." 

His press his plump lips against mine gently. My eyes widened, lips not moving at all, letting Jongin do all the work. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me up to stand up and I slowly went with the flow. I closed my eyes, resting my arms on his chest while my hands were hanging on his shoulder. He pulled me closer, hands slowly creeping its way down to my bottom and pulled away. "Had always wanted to do this with you." He whispered, leaning against my forhead. I smiled and pecked him once more before hugging him tightly.

"You have no idea how long i've waited for this idiot." I said as we both chuckled. 

We stayed that way for awhile, enjoying the scenery together before we head down and passed the keys to the same maintainence and he send me home. I had to admit that was probably the best day ever. A day I would certaintly not forget, well it can't be. The date represents the date we would be celebrating our annivesary perhaps...