Epilogue.

Bitter Day

Years have passed ever since the very day she runs away from her very own wedding. Sitting down on a table at the corner of the shop while looking out through the window, she sat there waiting. Waiting for him to come back. That was what she has been doing these past three years.

She decided to take her life in her hands, no more the daddy’s little girl she once was. She broke the engagement as soon as she woke up from the hospital bed she was confined in and volunteered to even leave her family if they don’t allow her to do what she pleases.

Missing the chance of having to reach her future with him, she had tried to find his whereabouts but with no such luck there wasn’t any news to where he actually went so instead, she waits for him every passing day in the cafe on the very same table they first met.

The light chime of the bell as the door swung open echoes through the small shop causing for some heads to turn and look.

It was nothing new, people always come and go in the shop. She’s gotten used to it already; much used to it actually. She once always turn to look at who the person may be with all hopes that it’s the same person she’s long expecting only to always have her hopes crashed and thrown away, being met by nothing but disappointment.

But what got her to turn her head as well as the others is upon hearing a low, deep chuckle audible enough for her to hear from all the way to her table.  It was that small chuckle which has been stuck in her mind all this time, the small chuckle she’s been missing to hear once again even if it’s just for the last time.

It caught her off guard, leaving her to catch her breath with lips slightly agape. It wasn’t because of the fact that the tall man who has entered was the sole reason she has been in the shop most of the time waiting but what follows, or better yet who follows behind him.

 It was a woman, tall and slim. Chestnut brown hair which reaches just above her waist and fair, milky skin which just compliments her throughout, not to mention her soft angelic feature and baby face. She was beautiful and Yuri had to admit it to herself. The two chattered happily with one another and she couldn’t help but crumble, crumble on her seat. He hasn’t seemed to notice her just yet and she was happy and thankful for that.

 Scanning him from head to toe; his hair was cut short which is swept to the side slightly, nose long and high with his ashy brown eyes curved upwards as if smiling, he was the same Choi Minho she so remembers except for maybe the new haircut from his long hair that used to reached just above his eyes she has grown to get used to, yet there seem to be something else. Suddenly coming to realise what it was upon seeing the silver band ring he was wearing on his ring finger. It hit her like a slap right across her face, hard.

He was married, and their happy ending was long non-existent anymore.   

 

It takes seconds to say ‘Hello’,

But it takes forever to say ‘Goodbye’. 

 

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butterflyxox
Epilogue soon to come!

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pinboo
#1
Hello, here's your goody bag for joining my TMaF semi-contest! Thank you!

Plot:
Well, what I notice is that there are too many plot 'twist' happening at the same chain of event –to the point where it does not exactly seem believable. Since this is a casual romance-drama story, I think you should wisely pick the way you want your plot to move. I was actually liking the idea of Yuri getting married (although there are parts about it that I found to be unsettling, I'll get back to it later) more as a twist –because I think the way you insert it at that point makes it feel like a decent surprise. But then you take it further by getting her to runaway from her wedding, then getting her in a car crash, then getting Minho to be happily married later on. Sure, misfortunes might be the way to make us feel more about the characters, but the abundant amount of them in the fic makes it less realistic and it seems like it takes a lot of effort to make it somewhat tragic.
pinboo
#2
I also find it a bit queer that Yuri, who first seemed to be 'accepting' her fate of marrying a stranger (notwithstanding the fact that I also find it a bit weird to have that kind of money-based marriage in nowadays practice –unless they are royalties or high profiles politicians), then managed to suddenly change her mind just because of a letter. Yes, this may be romantic at one point, but on the other hand, it's a bit inconsistent. With all the implications, I think Yuri should have realized the progress of her relationship with Minho prior to the marriage proposal. When she decides to get married, I thought she would have had prepared for Minho's feeling. She also seemed to be doing the marriage for her parents, but then she quickly disregarded her determination to chase Minho. I wouldn't mind if you add more contemplation before Yuri made up the decision to runaway from her own wedding though.

I actually enjoy the first part of your story more –actually, the plot is perfectly fine until the point where Yuri decided to ditch off her wedding (and then series of 'unlikely' unfortunate events seem to follow). The first part is nice, subtle, and I like the way you draw and build Minho and Yuri's relationship.
pinboo
#3
Characters: Yuri is either a slight Mary Sue or simply an inconsistent character. I do notice that you told the readers (from Minho's viewpoint) how Yuri has flaws. But readers never got to know or feel what her real flaws are. It's good that you already understand how a character needs to have flaw, you just need to implement it more. As indicated in the plot section, some of Yuri's actions actually confuse me –like there is no real grasp to her character.

Minho is better in terms of a character's layers. While I don't exactly favor him for "flaunting" his wallflower self, I see him as someone who has more than what it seems on the surface, and it's a good thing. I think you should have given more reasons or descriptions or scene on how he actually leads an apathetic viewpoint of life (him being apathetic, actually a plus point for him as a character, in my opinion). Develop him a bit more so that he could be more dimensional, but he got a good premise actually.



Style: I think the style is fine. Not the best, but not bad. I like the style in your other entry's "The Rose's Thorn" more though. In this "Bitter Day" entry, the part where I enjoy the writing style more is the first few meetings –when Yuri and Minho first met and all. Another part that I like from your style in this entry is the way you build the suspense and deliver the first twist when Yuri confessed that she was getting married. I think you stopped at the right time, and everything just felt more impactful that way. The part after that, however, is just... average. Again, far from being bad, but not insanely amazing either.
pinboo
#4
Suggestion:
• Pick the scenes, including the twists, wisely. Reality-based slice-of-life fic has to be as close as it is to real life, and again, there are too many bad things happening at a linear time that makes it less realistic.
• Dwell into Yuri's characterization more –especially since she is your main character here.
• Maybe it'd be good to have one or two paragraphs at the epilogue –I want to know Minho's reaction when he saw Yuri at the cafe. I want to know how he actually moves on.

Favorite Parts:
• The first twist (Yuri's announcing her marriage) is actually good and has a lot of potential. The timing of that scene and everything actually has a good material to be a decent twist.
• Their first meeting and how Yuri got herself involved with Minho. I think the scene was cute and warming at the same time.

hyoyeon03
#5
Chapter 2: Awwww whyyyyyy
aihearts
#6
beautiful story :')
roxxi1993
#7
Chapter 2: OMG :(( she didn't even get to say she love him :((
But thank you for this beautiful story.