"Yesung, you're embarrassing us!"

"Stop dancing like that! You should act your age."

"Just try and be normal!"

 

Yesung lay in bed, thinking about the harsh comments and painful looks. The members were ashamed of him, they didn't want him with him. He was ruining their reputation, just by being himself. He had always consoled himself by thinking about his voice.

 

He was able to bring lots of popularity to Super Junior with the low husky tones, and he always thought that they would outshine his flaws. But they obviously hadn't.

When Kyuhyun had been voted 'Best Voice', Yesung clapped for him, but inside he had died. That was the only thing he had, now he could offer the group nothing.

 

Turning over uncomfortably under the blankets, he saw Ryeowook lying in the other bed. Wook was gentle, he always cared for the members, and kept a special place in his heart for Yesung. When the members would for his dancing, or his jokes, Wook would stick up for him. 

Unable to take the pain any longer, Yesung got out of his bed and stood next to Ryeowook's. He just stood there for a while, wondering whether to climb in next to the boy and sleep.

 

Ryeowook wouldn't mind. He would probably hug Yesung tightly, and comfort him. But Yesung didn't want to bring any more problems to the group. He didn't want to be a burden.

So instead, he left the room and put on his shoes, grabbing his phone as he went.

 

Walking down the street, he wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed to clear his head. As he thought about the others, he let a few tears fall. Almost jogging, he went into a shop and began to browse, desperate to stop the tears.

After almost twenty minutes of walking, his phone buzzed with a call.

"Hyung?!" The boy sounded panicked, his voice high with fear.

"Yes Wookie?"

"Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Yesung said gently, trying hard to keep his voice steady. "I'm just out for a walk."

 

"A walk at midnight?! You need to come home!" Wook's voice was choked with tears. "It's dangerous!"

Yesung cleared his throat and spoke in a tiny voice. "I'm not coming home Ryeowook. I'm going to quit. Good luck to you all, and I'll phone the others later."

There was silence, but Yesung could hear the boy's heart breaking.

 

"No! No!! You have to stay! Please hyung, I love you! You can't go."

"It's for the best Wookie, I just embarrass you all and make you look bad on variety shows. All I've done since debut is embarrass myself, I've just been too stupid to notice it.. Please understand."

"No! You listen to me Kim Jongwoon, you need to get your back to this dorm, or you'll be in really big trouble and I'll be very cross!" 

Yesung couldn't help but smile at the almost angry words. Ryeowook was so terrible at scolding.

 

"Wookie-"

"Don't argue! If you're not back here in the next five minutes, I'm going to call the police and report you missing!"

Yesung sighed. "I'll be back in about twenty minutes, it took me a while to walk here."

 

Arriving at the dorm, he saw Ryeowook open the door desperately.

"Get in here! I'm very angry!" His face was pouty, like a cartoon, and Yesung could tell that his 'anger' was mainly fear for losing Yesung.

Walking inside, the older boy decided to be obedient.

 

"You scared me! You could have been lost forever! And why don't you want to come back? From now on, I'm not letting you out of my sight! Do you hear me? Not even to the toilet!"

"Yes Wookie, I understand."

"Why did you leave?"

"I don't want to say." 

Ryeowook was about to argue, and make Yesung say everything, but the teartracks on the boy's face stopped him. He would try later, when he had calmed down a little.

 

"Okay then, don't worry. Now, come to bed. You'll be sleeping with me until further notice."

Yesung didn't argue, feeling a lot happier now that he knew the boy cared for him.

Neither of them fell asleep, Yesung just lay under the blankets, feeling Wook his hair and gently kiss his cheek. As he lay, almost purring in contentment, he embraced Ryeowook and closed his eyes.

 

Watching the sleeping boy, Ryeowook had to hold back tears. Why did the boy want to go? Had someone hurt him? He wanted to hug Yesung tightly and never let go, but he didn't want to risk waking the boy. So instead he just focused on gently his hair, until he fell asleep himself.

 

The next morning, Yesung woke up feeling a little happier, but not a lot. He could see that Ryeowook was upset by his absence, and he decided not to try it again. Hugging the boy closer, he felt the soft skin, and the boy shuffled a little in his arms. When Wook opened his eyes, he almost cried in happiness to see Yesung there.

"Hyung, you're still here!"

"Yes, I'm still here. I couldn't leave you whilst you were asleep, that would be cruel."

Wook cuddled him, and rested his head on his chest.

"Is it time for breakfast?"

 

Shuffling to the kitchen, Yesung held tightly to Ryeowook's hand. At first, the younger boy had been surprised, but he was happy at the small action, and gave gentle squeezes to the fingers. Walking together, everyone could see the tiredness in their eyes. Sungmin patted their backs, handing them cups of coffee and settling them at the table.

Leaning in close to Yesung, he whispered so that only he could hear.

"If you want to talk, then you can come to me. Don't be upset all by yourself."

 

When Yesung looked up in confusion, Wook gently squeezed his hand.

"When I woke up and you were gone, I went to see if you were with Sungmin. so he knows that you were out last night. The others don't know.."

Still holding hands, both boys drank their coffee and went to get washed and dressed.

 

As they stood up to leave, Kangin walked into the kitchen and saw them holding hands. Looking at them further, he saw the subtle ways that Wook was comforting the older boy. The tear tracks were faint, but still lingered on the boy's cheeks. Yesung looked tired, his eyes slowly closing from Ryeowook's gentle touches.

 

"Yesung, are you alright?"

"I'm fine Kangin, thank you for asking."

"No you're not. What happened? You can tell us."

The boy shook his head, and went to leave the room. Kangin stuck his arm out, blocking his exit.

"Let me go Kangin!"

"No."

"I want to leave!"

Kangin grabbed him, and pulled him to the sofa to sit. Leeteuk was just sitting on a chair watching television, Siwon sitting next to him.

Kyuhyun was sprawled on the floor, playing a video game and eating toast.

 

"Tell me Yesung. I want to help you. Tell me what's wrong. Once you've done that, you can leave."

The older boy stood up angrily, fresh tears forming in his eyes. "I'm leaving!"

"No you're not. Talk with me first. I'm not letting you leave this room."

"I meant I'm leaving the group!" Yesung shouted, drawing surprised looks from the other members. Whilst Kangin stood there in shock, Yesung quickly ran past him and out of the room.

Ryeowook ran after him.

 

Yesung ran as fast as he could, hearing Wook's footsteps behind him, letting him know that he wasn't alone. Eventually stopping, he sobbed, feeling the smaller boy embrace him, stopping him from falling apart.

Sitting on a bench, they just hugged together, both crying.

 

Back at the dorm, Kangin was sitting on the sofa in shock, Sungmin gently hugging him. Leeteuk was in tears.

"Where could he have gone? Why does he want to leave the group?"

As all of the members sat in the living room, hugging together, Sungmin spoke in a soft voice.

 

"He ran away last night. I know because Ryeowook woke up and came looking for him in my room. I don't know why he ran, but it must be something that's really hurting him. Yesung wouldn't just run away for nothing. He doesn't overreact like that..."

"Have we done something to hurt him? Has anyone said anything hurtful?"

"No.. I don't think so.."

Hae hugged the leader tightly. "Unless he's upset about the teasing.."

 

Kangin shook his head. "Everyone gets teased. He can't be upset about that. He knows he can sing, he knows he can dance. That wouldn't affect him."

"We need to speak to him. We can't go on like this.. He's one of us, and we'll never just let him go like that. He must have a reason, and we'll talk this through as a group. Then he'll stay."

 

Donghae spoke up. "What if he leaves?.."

Silence.

"He'll stay" Leeteuk repeated, clinging to hope.

 

On the bench, Ryeowook was holding the boy close, and gently rubbing his back. "It's okay hyung. Don't cry."

"I don't know what to do Wookie.."

"Why don't you come back and talk to us? We'll listen to you, and then you can decide what you really want to do."

Nodding gently, Yesung kept his head on Wook's shoulder, and waited for his sobs to slow.

 

Leeteuk was almost hyperventilating with fear, until there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" he called.

"It's the police" came the reply. Eunhyuk and Henry burst into tears.

 

Opening the door, Leeteuk sobbed in relief. Ryeowook was laughing gently, and holding onto Yesung's hand. The older boy had red-rimmed eyes, but he was smiling a little.

"We got you Teukie hyung!" the smaller boy shouted. "You really thought we were the police!"

 

Unable to find the words to scold them, Leeteuk just pulled them in for a hug. His hands were trembling, and he held tightly to Yesung, his hair with soft tentative movements.

"You shouldn't have done that. We really thought it was the police... I thought they were going to give us bad news.." He looked at Yesung's face, still holding him tightly. "I thought they were going to say that you had died..."

 

Leading the boy into the living room, he watched him hug Henry tightly, soothing away his tears.

"It's okay Henry. Don't cry, it's all okay."

"Why do you want to go away Yesung hyung? Why do you want to leave us? Please stay here.."

"I'm sorry Henry.." Yesung stood up and headed towards the door.

 

Kangin jumped up, and grabbed Yesung so that he couldn't leave. Holding him close as they sat on the floor, he whispered.

"Why do you want to leave? Is it family problems? Is it financial problems? Please let us help you. Please don't run away." Ryeowook went to him, and hugged Yesung tightly.

"It's okay, just come and talk with us. It's your choice, and, although we'll miss you terribly, we'll understand if you want to leave."

Everyone watched as the boy sat up and hugged Ryeowook tightly, coming alive in the boy's warm embrace.

That was what Yesung wanted. Understanding, care. He wanted the members to understand his personality, and to accept his dancing and his jokes, like he accepted and understood them.

 

Gently nuzzling into Wook, Yesung closed his eyes a little, feeling comforted and safe. Feeling like he belonged there.

 

Kangin reached out a hand, and gently touched Yesung's shoulder, before opening his arms for a hug. Cuddling both the boys, he gently comforted them.

"Will you talk with us Yesung? Will you let us care for you?"

After a small hesitation, Yesung nodded a little.

 

Cuddling on the sofa, and feeling Henry's arms slide around him and hold him close, Yesung began to speak in a small voice.

"Sometimes, I just feel like I don't belong here. Everyone has a part to play, and I was the lead vocal.. But now Kyuhyun fills that place. Now I'm just the embarrassing member that fails at dancing.. And sometimes I'm not even sure if you like me as a person.." He stopped talking, and hugged into Ryeowook, Henry's hair as he did so.

The other members sat silently in shock. No one knew what to say.

 

Wook just hugged the boy back, cuddling him close, feeling the desperation in Yesung's actions. He wanted to be loved, to be comforted, to be shown that he was cared about.

"It's okay Yesung. We all love you."

 

"Hyung?" came a tiny sad voice. Yesung turned around to see Kyuhyun standing in front of him, looking tearful. "I'm so sorry.."

"Kyu, don't worry. Please don't cry."

"You think I stole your spot.. I would never do that.."

Yesung moved away from Wook, and stood up to hug Kyu. Putting his arms around the younger boy, he gently pulled him out of the room to talk privately.

 

"Kyu, I know that you didn't steal my spot. It just worked out that way. I'm not angry at you, and you have no need to apologise. Please don't cry."

"Then please don't leave hyung! I love you, please stay! You can't go!"

Yesung hugged him tightly, and rubbed soothing circles into his back. "Okay, I'll stay."

"Really?! Oh hyung!" He clung to Yesung, and squeezed tightly, never wanting to let go.

"Yes, really. Shall we have a sit down on the sofa? We can cuddle there."

Kyu blushed a little. "I don't really cuddle.."

"We're cuddling now" Yesung replied, pressing a kiss to the boy's forehead.

"Yes, but.."

 

Going back into the living room, everyone looked up expectantly and saw the boys hugging together and Kyu smiling brightly.

Seeing the happy glow, Leeteuk stood up and hugged the pair, prompting a group hug from all fifteen boys. Standing together, with Yesung at the centre, the boy felt happy and loved. From their touches and gentle words, he knew that he was cared for, that he was wanted in the group. 

That he was appreciated.