I don’t like you.

You are always smiling as if it’s the only thing you know how to do. You are always so cheerful as if that’s the only emotion you have. You are always bothering me as if I don’t mind you bugging me.

I don’t like you.

You don’t know what I am going through. You don’t know how it feels to know that behind the smiles people give you, it’s never sincere. You don’t know the things that run through my mind. You don’t know how to shut up. You don’t know what it feels like to be me.

All my life, I’ve been alone. That’s when I learned that those smiles I see are fake. And that’s when I learned that no matter what, I’m an island that everybody knows about yet nobody wants to go see. But I’m not afraid. I’m not scared.

Every time I go to sleep, I don’t fear that my nightmares are going to eat me. Besides, I only see one dream every night – an event I don’t recall at all yet keeps haunting me. I’m used to dreaming of the same thing over and over, and I don’t consider it as a nightmare anymore. Why? Because when I’m awake, there’s a different nightmare I’m facing.

My existence.

Try living your life in my shoes. A rich, young man who cannot do anything but to sulk because of the fact that he’s mute. Don’t you see? I’m helpless. Hopeless. And that is more than a nightmare.

It’s a reality.

I don’t like you.

Why?

Because you are the opposite of me. And instead of you, attracting me. You’re not.

I want you out of my life.

It’s ten past 11 and Chan Yeol has not seen his speech therapist yet. Not that he cares, though. Actually he will feel less bothered without her around. Besides, Chan Yeol can prove to himself that she is like other people – she will get tired of him after a few days and resign.

Chan Yeol lowers down his head when he feels Kimchi rubbing his nose against his leg. The dog has its eyes closed, smiling as its nose brush against his skin. Chan Yeol just looks down, watching the golden retriever gently show his affection to him.

“Good moooooorrrrning