Reviewed: Adonis
Author: letmeloveyouu
Characters: Kim Jongin and Kim Hana (OC)
Story Status: Complete
Genre: Romance, Angst
Reviewer: Princess/Chrissy
LINK TO STORY

Title: 4/5
I really liked your title. There was a strong connection between the title and your fanfic. 

Poster: 5/5
Really nice poster, have that sad, angst like feel.

Description: 4/5

You gave a nice, drawing descrition. Without ruining the the main plot or the story line.Reading your description made me crave to know more. 

Foreward: 1/5
There wasn't much to rate since the foreward was just a little authours note, but I regret reading it. Reason is because it kind of spoiled the whole story for me. After reading that one line summary of the fanfic I couldn't focus on the whole story in general, since I was already aware of what the whole plot was which was upsetting.

Plot: 10/20
Reason I gave it half was because I had already known what the plot of the story would be about (due to the foreward) so there was nothing to be anticipated about. Although, even though I knew what the main plot was in the story, it was intersting to see how you placed your main events and how you had made things fit together. Sadly though, I wished I hadn't found out the main plot towards the story so it would have been more intesting, but the plot was really well thought of.

Characterization: 3/10
I just couldn't feel the characters true emotions. I knew what they were feeling sometimes, but I just wished it was a little more descriptive. Like when Jongin hit Hana in the face, I wish you had elabrated the fear, pain and hurt she was feeling. I knew she was feeling those things, but I couldn't feel it from her character. I couldn't connect with your characters as much as I wanted to. It was hard to connect when the characters feelings aren't expressed fully. I'm not saying to describe every little thing she feels, just to show a bit more emotion. Like when Jongin proposed to her.. Okay I know this isn't a big scene, but it's Jongin... KAI! Proposing to YOU! I don't know about anyone else, but I would of been a freaking mess! Tears spilling all over my face, the shock and nervousness I would of had! But Hana had nothing? I sure she did feel those things (unless it's just me freaking over one of the hottest EXO members asking me to marry them), but I wanted to feel her emotion, not just guess or assume.

Hana's character I guess I could kind of explain who is was, but Jongin's character I didn't really understand so much. There was no real part that kind of describe the type of person he was. So, I didn't know what I was going to get from him. I've read a lot of fanfictions where Jongin is that hot jerk all the girls fall for, but in the end he ends up hurting all of them etc. So I can't really say anything about a character I don't really know about. 

Flow: 3/10
In the first chapter, I really liked the flow of the story. It was steady and the flow was going by very nice and smooth. Although, as I kept reading the flow started to speed up, to the point where I didn't know what was going on or anything. There were places that could of used a bit more detail, such as after their anniversary chapter. I thought they would be mad at each other forever since Jongin had forgotten their anniversary since he was so upset, which would lead to Hana being upset because he forgot, but there was never any chapters that showed them making up. Also in the end, it was pretty dramatic. I don't know how I'd feel since I've never had the expreiences she's had, but the process of her dying was waaaayyy to quick and it felt odd. 

Originality: 15/20
I honestly can say I've never read a fanfic like this. Though there were those cliche events that had taken place, like the car crash, forgotten anniversary and death scene. I've read it all before so seeing it in your story kind of bored me a but because it sounded like all those other cliche stories. One the other hand, I liked how you presented them. They were cliche events and happenings, but the way you placed them fit nicely with your story.

Enjoyment: 6/10
Overall I did enjoy the your fanfic. I think I would of enjoyed it more if I hadn't know what the main plot was in the beginning, but the story had surprised me. After finding out about the plot, I was expecting Jongin to start cheating on Hana since the title, Adonis, meant handsome young man, I assumed he would have use his good looks to cheat on Hana and in the end their relationship would fall. Though it was nothing like I had expected, you had created a whole different senario than I was expecting, and for that I enjoyed it. 

Comment From Reviewer:
It was really nice work for you first fanfic, but just don't rush to much. You may think that the readers won't notice, but it does end up showing in your work. Also, I know you wanted to make a short fic, but don't make it too short to the point where all the main information or detail needed isn't present in your story. Since this is your first fanfic I can say it was written out well, probably better than my first fanfic. Keep up the good work^^ 

Grand Total: 51/100

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