I saw it in his eyes. He didn't want to die, not yet at least. I felt the urge to sit there beside him and so I did. I walked to him and sat on the empty seat beside.

"You're new." He said, without even sparing me a glance. 

I stared blankly at him.

"How'd you know?"

"Your face is new." He muttered, still not bothering to look. "So what brings you here?"

"I'm, well, lost."

"I mean to the hospital."

"Oh you know, I'm here, just like everyone else who is."

He paused for a while before turning to me for the first time.

" You're lost huh..." He chuckled, flashing a smile that was somewhat cute.

"Yes, I'm lost. As you said I'm new. Aren't you gonna help me?" I said with sarcasm. With that, he turned around and for a moment I regretted even saying anything. 

"I would if I could. But I can't. I need to save my energy. I can't just d- ... I can't help you." It sounded pained, like he had to force it out to make me understand.

There was a long pause after that and we both knew his fate at that moment. I didn't want to cause him any more pain, so I quickly gathered myself and initiated my farewell. 

"Oh, I understand. I'll just ask someone else. It was nice meeting you...-?"

"Sungjae. Yook Sungjae."

I smiled and walked away.

"Wait. You have leukemia, don't you?" a faint voice from afar. I stopped walking and turned back. 

"How did you-?"

He gave no reply.

"Sofia!" A shriek came from behind. Agh!-  I remembered, I wasn't supposed to leave my hospital room. I was in trouble.

"What the- I told you to stay put!"

"I'm sorry." I replied with a low voice.

"Come on honey, let's go back."

I nodded and simply followed my mom and the nurse. For a second there, I thought I was going back, back home. But then I remembered my inevitable fate was coming and coming fast. Before I went too far I turned back hoping that boy Sungjae would be looking, hoping that he still held on to the thought that he still had enough time to live, but I was disappointed. I turned and found him sitting there with his face devoid of any emotion and mind in a silent frenzy with the possibility of death lingering just around the corner. I didn't know what came over me but I found myself running back to him, my legs being in favour with me for once, then I knelt in front of him and held his hands.

"Everything will be fine." I blurted out, almost in tears. Everything will be fine. The words I knew all too well. Those were my mother's words to me, the words she spoke to me when I felt like all hope was lost. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore so they flowed out like a silent stream in a destructive world. I was comforting the dying boy just how my mother comforted her dying daughter. That's when it hit me. I knew all along I was going to die, but sitting here holding the hands of someone I barely even knew suffering a disease I didn't even know about made realise that it wasn't so simple after all. My death would still be the most painful experience ever, not just to me, but to my mom too. I was all she had left. I laid my head on his lap. It was quite pathetic, crying on a boy's lap I met just a few minutes ago. I couldn't stop the free flow of my emotions and I was too overwhelmed to care. I was crying for him, for my mom and for myself. I was crying for all the lives that had to suffer the same unfair situation we were all in. It felt like I was in a box, constricted by the gnawing feeling of anger and sadness, I thought I was never going to feel better. I was wrong. I felt a hand caress my hair.

"Shhh... ~ Eonjerado geudae doraondamyeon nunmul ttawin eopgetjyo ~ If you come back someday there won't be anymore tears.~" He sang with the most angelic voice.

I got back to my senses and immediately stood up.

 

 

"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have done that." I stuttered as my mom approached me. 

 

 

"Sofia! What's wrong?! Aish let's go back now. You need to rest."

I nodded once again. Leaving without another word. Embarassed, I walked down the hallway, my steps echoing with every contact to the ground.

"Sofia! See you tomorrow?"

A voice called out to me. Sungjae.

"O-Of course!" I replied, without looking back. I was too ashamed to face him. "See you tomorrow... " I silently whisper to myself, sure that it's inaudible to him.

And just like me, he tries to comfort the dying. Telling me to fight it. Telling me to be strong. Telling me to live for another tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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