2. Just friends

 

Pairing: Rabin

Words: 3210

Summary: Friends was as far as things were ever going to go with Hongbin.
 

Wonsik will never admit it, but the first time he laid eyes on Hongbin he couldn't help but notice how cute he was. While everyone else said he was "hot" and "y" Wonsik couldn't understand. Hongbin was cute, adorable even, but y? Ravi thought that these people needed their eyes checked.
He always thought it was the way that Hongbin seemed to be a bit too quiet is what really drew Wonsik in. He just wanted to talk to him, just once was all, but then once turned into twice then into five times. Until finally it was an everyday thing.
It wasn't full blown conversations at first either, just a e and a verbal poke there. But soon Hongbin started to poke back, and then he wanted to help Wonsik with his work.
That's when Wonsik noticed how pretty Hongbin's eyes really were.
That's also when Wonsik noticed that Hongbin liked to spend his breaks with a girl they both worked with.
That's when Wonsik started to try and pull away. He didn't want to start liking a guy that was straight, so in his mind Wonsik made Hongbin out to be sassy. That was easier to deal with. So when Wonsik talked to Hongbin then, he intentionally poked harder, and tried to aggravate the other more so he would react accordingly.
Which worked for the most part. They didn't hate each other, no that wasn't the case, they just teased a lot. Which Wonsik really couldn't help, he would've preferred to stay further away from Hongbin so that ache in his chest wouldn't grow anymore, but as odds would have it, work had other plans. The girl was moved to the other end of the store, while Wonsik and Hongbin was placed in departments right next to each other.
A curse disguised as a blessing.
Just as things were getting confusing for the two of them, Wonsik had to leave. A week vacation that had been planned for a year was coming up, and for once Wonsik almost didn't want to go.
Wonsik wasn't one to assume that Hongbin was attracted to him, but he wasn't the only one that noticed the little spark. Where when they were working Hongbin would always come out to "help" Wonsik with his work, but he always went on break with the girl. Wonsik never noticed, but a friend at work, Ken, liked to point out ever time Hongbin's eyes strayed from the girl and lingered on Wonsik a few moments too long.
That was hope, right? So Wonsik almost didn't want to go, but at the same time the beach was calling to him. Plus he had been working hard these past few months, hadn't he?
In the end he went, for a week he relaxed on the beach and read a few books while he tried his hardest to forget everything. To forget home, to forget work, and to forget Hongbin's lingering eyes. To forget it all.
But as the week drew to a close he couldn't push it off anymore. He had a nagging feeling in his gut that he had lost something. That something had happened.
So he gave in, Wonsik gave I and texted his friend and tried to act as if he actually care what drama was going on at work while he was gone before he deemed it safe enough to ask if Hongbin and the girl had gotten together yet.
"Yet" because they were the ideal choice, right? If Hongbin and Wonsik were to get together that would be weird and wrong, right?
In the end Ken really didn't know, he hadn't been very close friends with the either of them. The girl, her name was Debra Wonsik found out, didn't like Ken much because he was a little rough and tended to be very blunt about his dislike towards others. Wonsik liked to call this being honest without a filter.
Ken laughed at that.
So in the end Ken didn't know for sure, but he liked to complain about how Debra followed Hongbin around like a puppy. Wonsik couldn't help but smile when he received the text about how Ken thought they were all kinds of wrong, and more than anything they just acted like siblings.
He was a little reassured by that, but not completely at ease.
Days passed, and it was on the last day of his trip that he got the text that told him that Hongbin and Debra were indeed together.
Now Wonsik didn't cry, there was really nothing to even be too upset about. This was just like the option was officially taken away from him. Wonsik knew he never really had a chance, this was just the world's way of finalizing it.
It's not like Wonsik was head over heels for Hongbin, he just entertained the thought of liking him. That was all.
So once he came back to work he watered down the smiles, and tried to go unnoticed by the other.
That worked just about as well as everything else had so far.
Soon Wonsik and Hongbin fell back into the swing of things. A tease thrown here, and a comeback there. This was simple. This was easy. Wonsik could do this. He could pretend they didn't flirt all that obliviously when they knew Debra was off, or stuck in the back room.
Sometimes Wonsik wondered if everyone else saw through their little act, but then again he didn't care enough to find out.
One day though, through all the flirting both of them realized how dangerously close they got to being wrong.
It was one of those days where Debra was off, so Hongbin had been a little more persistent in his bugging of Wonsik. Hongbin always had a way with his actions and words that always got Wonsik flustered. Without fail, every freaking single time. In fact, Wonsik like to think it bordered on harassment, but he would never sincerely complain.
Well this time was no different, but Wonsik couldn't control his reactions like he normally could.
"Well, well, well," Wonsik almost rolled his eyes at the fake surprised tone he heard come from Hongbin as he turned the corner. "Look who we have here."
"Why are you always here?!" Wonsik demanded with an irritated sigh.
"Hey now," Hongbin said as he smiled and lend against the wall. "I work here all the time, it's you who they keep moving around." Wonsik liked to think they moved him around so much because they thought he was that good... He doesn't really want to entertain the thought of it being the opposite.
"Then you should stay in one place, why do you always find out where I am and come to harass me?" Wonsik questioned the other as he slid him a bored glare before he went back to work. But not before he noticed the little twitch in Hongbin's lips.
Sometimes Wonsik wonders if he's teased this much at work because he reacted the way he did.
"I don't see you complaining to management about it," he told Wonsik, and yep, that was definitely a smile.
"Well I'm not the one stalking someone, now am I? Why do you keep following me around like a lost puppy?" As soon as that was out of his mouth Wonsik wanted to bite his tongue. Did he really just try and imply that Hongbin had feelings for him? When he slid his eyes back over to Hongbin he noted the look of shock on his face, and , it really did come off that way. All Wonsik could think at the time was, god dammit, I need to backpedal out of this and fast. Without another word the both of them just walked away, and when they saw each other at the end of the shift they acted like that little conversation never happened.
All was good, and from there Wonsik really focused on building a friendship with Hongbin. He was an interesting guy, so Wonsik really couldn't help himself. But he also made sure to keep his feelings in check. It wouldn't be fair to Debra if he tried to steal her boyfriend from her, successful or not.
There were still times where the flirting got a little out or hand, but Wonsik deserved a little happiness too, right? Weeks passed like this, and it came to the point where Hongbin would search for Wonsik to help him work. Wonsik refused for the most part because he had his own work. He really didn't want to be doing Hongbin's on top of that either. But there were days when Hongbin's pleading smile pulled at Wonsik's heart and he just couldn't say no.
The days of the sarcastic remarks, and just all around sassy attitude, became fewer and fewer until it was almost painful how sweet Hongbin could be. There were times when Hongbin just shot Wonsik a smile as a thank you, and Wonsik couldn't help but want to take his pen and ram it through his eyes so he'd never had to see that sight again. It was just too much, and without realizing it he was falling harder for the guy.
It was just so unfair.
See Wonsik helps Hongbin, but that doesn't mean he didn't complain the whole time. It's not hard work, but it's tedious and whoever does it has a lot of responsibility placed on them. So if you screw up, it to be you. So yeah, Wonsik likes to the whole time, he thinks he's earned the right to. But Hongbin just smiles, and tried to be as helpful as possible.
It's sickening, or at least Wonsik tries to convince himself it is.
On one day in particular it was especially nerve racking, and even listening to his music didn't help to calm Wonsik. But he knew that if he didn't help then Hongbin and his team wouldn't get done, and who knew how much crap they'd get in for that. Wonsik bit his bottom lip as he remembered the way he heard "Medusa," as Hongbin liked to refer to her as, ing about how they never had things worked out.

They just aren't the type of people who planned stuff out, but they normally got it all done by the end of the day. Which is why when his manager asked him if he was finished with his work and where he was going next Wonsik told her that he was going to see if they needed help. She seemed like he was proud of him for saying that, so that was like killing two birds with one stone. Make himself look like a good worker, and save Hongbin's .
Sometimes he was just too nice, Wonsik thought as he smiled.
Plus the smile of pure happiness on Hongbin's face when he told him he came to help out was a little victory in itself.
Wonsik was such a er for that smile.
So here they were, Wonsik scanning the data into the system as Hongbin sat back and watched. Ready to jump up and do whatever Ravi demanded, just as long as he didn't have to deal with the data itself.
It took about an hour, but in the end Wonsik finished it early so the both of them had a little time to hide out. Both agreeing that neither of them really wanted to go out and tell the bosses that they were finished because they knew they would be sent to do more work.
They both stood on opposite sides of the door frame, lend up against the walls. Hongbin peering out through the window, while Wonsik rested his head against the wall and tried not to fall asleep. These long hours were taking their toll on him, but he didn't dare try and catch a few minutes of sleep on his break for fear that he wouldn't wake up in time to go back.
"You look tired," Hongbin commented from his place by the window, and Wonsik cracked one of his eyes open so to see how Hongbin stood there regarding him with one if his weird expressions Wonsik had yet to figure out what it meant yet. It was a bit unnerving.
"I'm always tired here," Wonsik told him, and to prove his point a yawn fought its way to the surface. "You should know that by now." At that Hongbin chucked a little before moving back to his place against the wall. As he lend against it he smiled at Wonsik again.
"That's true," he replied, and then the both of them lapsed into silence again. It was only a little awkward. Wonsik felt like Hongbin wanted him to say something, but he really had no idea what he wanted him to say. So he opted for staying quiet. It was only a few more seconds before Hongbin coughed, and then Wonsik's eyes were on him again. "I just wanted to say thank you for all of this. I know you don't like doing it, and I also know you don't get paid as much as me for this, so I just want you to know how grateful I am to you for putting up with me."
Wonsik doesn't know why, but listening to Hongbin say all that and seeing how sincere he looks, it hurts. Not in an unbearably painful type of way, more like a deep and dull ache. The kind that makes you feel like you're dying slowly, but your life isn't in any kind of immediate danger. Maybe it's because it was the first time Hongbin had really verbally thanked him for something.
Wonsik really didn't know, he just knew that it hurt and any kind of amount of work would be better than this right now, as long as he was far away from Hongbin.
So Wonsik accepted his thanks rather ungracefully, and rushed out to find Medusa. (Crap, did he really just refer to her like that?)
He knew Hongbin would think he was weird for running away, but the subtle pain in his chest wouldn't stop, and he just need to get out of there.
Luckily he had the next day off, so before he truly clocked out at the end of their shift he made sure to tell Hongbin that he'd have to man up and deal with it himself the next day.
Hongbin didn't like that, he told Wonsik that he should never have any days off. Wonsik laughed, but on the inside he still couldn't stop his bleeding heart.
Wonsik sure as hell didn't sit in his house the whole next day replaying all of Hongbin's smile and words. Nope, he sure didn't.
The pain never stopped, but Wonsik was positive he could ignore it now. He was almost excited to see Hongbin that day, but at the same time he wanted to high tail it out of the room at the first sign of Hongbin he got. It was confusing, but he just figured that he'd make sure to ignore Hongbin until he knowledge him first.
Playing hard to get, now are we Wonsik?
Wonsik hates how he couldn't control his smile when Hongbin walked through the door and looked at him. He hates it with a passion, but what could he do? Wonsik's always been a little too expressive for his own good. But he's really put to the test when he found himself in the same lunch group with Debra that day. He didn't hate her, she just tends to spill every last detail about her relationship with Hongbin to him because she thinks they're really good friends.
Wonsik only really considers Ken a good friend.
For the most part Wonsik tried to tone her out, because no, Wonsik really didn't want to know about how Hongbin was when they were having . In fact he preferred to pretend that didn't happen. But then she shook his arm and demand his attention.
"Do you know what they said?" She said with a little bright smile planted across her face, and , Wonsik really hadn't been listening in the slightest so crap. He'd have to play it safe.
"Uhhh, no," he said as he inwardly groaned. He really, really didn't want to hear about her and Hongbin's relationship. "What did they say?"
"They said they were happy!" She exclaimed, and Wonsik threw out a little fake yay because god, he really didn't care. "I told them I was pregnant, and they were happy!"
Wait.
What?
Oh god no.
Wonsik stared in shock as everyone else at the table congratulated her. Was he the only one who thought this was wrong?
They had only been dating for a little less than two months. They both were only 19. What kind of parents in their right mind would be happy about this!?
After break everything else fell back into place. Hongbin came by again like he normally did and begged Wonsik to help him out again today. Honestly Wonsik almost had the mind to tell him to screw off and do it himself, but that was only an almost. Wonsik also wanted to ask Hongbin about all this nonsense because according to Debra she told Hongbin first.
But as Wonsik sat down at the computer and pulled out the notes Hongbin handed him he just couldn't. It wasn't his place to ask this. It wasn't his place to try and get in between them, and if he was honest with himself that's what he had been hoping for. He had just been waiting for the two of them to break up so he'd have his go, but look at things now. Even if they did break up, and by some crazy chance Hongbin did go for Wonsik, he'd never truly be Wonsik's. Debra would always be there, she would always come first because she'd have his child.
Something Wonsik would never be able to give him.
With a sigh Wonsik slammed his head on the desk just as Hongbin walked back into the room, causing him to jump a foot in the air.
" Wonsik!" Hongbin rushed over and put his hand on Wonsik's shoulder. "Are you okay?!" Wonsik wanted to groan because please, Hongbin can you just stop? It's too painful now. But all he was able to do was lift his head back up and stare mindless at the glowing screen in front of him.
"Yeah, Hongbin," Wonsik sighed out. "I'm fine." Hongbin shot him a look that told him he didn't believe a word of it, but he let it drop. To which Wonsik was thankful. The pain in his chest increased with the realization that he would only really ever be a friend to Hongbin.
Just friends, Wonsik tested the phrase out in his head, and he felt his heart constrict painfully with it. It , and it hurt badly, but what could he do?
There was nothing he really could do but live with it, he figured.
Just friends, huh?
With a glance over to Hongbin, Wonsik saw him staring intently at him, and then the pain was back tenfold.
Yeah, it ing .

a/n: How to drabble, am I right? Hahahaha /dies/ So anyway, I'm cross posting this on my tumblr (theleotomylin.tumblr.com) But i won't put in on lj until i have all of them done. which hopefully isn't too long. I'm pretty excited about these... fake drabbles