Double-Decker Espresso: 

                A two-and-a-not-really-half-but-also-not-quite-three shot of Espresso.

{Creation & Copyright of Huang Zi Tao)

Tao had the personality of a coffee bean, Kris decided. A coffee bean was hard, obstinate, and needed a fist of steel to crack it.

 Kris felt like cracking Tao’s face. He imagined it splitting in two, like a ripe coconut.

“A Skinny Latte.” Tao stared at Kris incredulously. The two guys had been staring eye-to-eye for the past ten minutes already, ignoring the long line forming behind them.

The Chinese-Canadian stared back at him.

“Yeah. That’s what I said.” Kris slowly leaned over the counter to stare into Tao’s eyes.

“I. Want. A. Skinny. Latte.”

Kris enunciated every syllable clearly, whilst putting on his best Darth Vader glare. Somewhere behind him, the customers crossed themselves and began humming the Imperial March. Kris ignored them, choosing instead to focus on his staring competition.

He. Would. Not. Blink.

Tao blinked.

Kris didn’t.

Damn, his eyes hurt.

“No. Skinny Lattes are for sissies. You’re getting a Double-Decker Espresso,” the Chinese barista decided, turning away to punch in the coffee order.

“One Double-Decker Espresso, coming right up.” Tao directed a bright smile at Kris direction. “Please wait one moment while your order gets processed.”

He gave Kris a subtle pointed look, as the Chinese-Canadian continued standing there, frozen in spot. Kris was jamming up the line. The customers were now bored with humming Star Wars OSTs and had now switched to singing the Despicable Me song a capella.

I’m having a really bad bad day…

Tao eyed the last customer in line warily. Was that guy holding a freeze-ray?

…it’s about time that things went my way…

“But I want a Skinny Latte!” For one moment, Kris looked like a kicked puppy. Then his gaze darkened and reverted to Darth Vader. However, the ominousness of his laboured breathing was rather reduced now that he had no dramatic soundtrack to back him up.

Tao narrowed his eyes.  “Next customer, please.”

An old lady behind nudged Kris in the with her umbrella.

“Move, hoodlum,” she gave Kris’ feet another stab with the pointy end. “Otherwise old granny will hit you with her handbag like she did to the lions in Africa.” 

Grumbling, Kris finally gave up and stalked off to a nearby table to await his order.

“You got a Double Espresso again?” Chan Yeol asked, nudging his seat partner in the shoulder.

“No. A Double-Decker Espresso.” Kris replied sourly.

“What the hell is that?” 

“I don’t know.” Kris buried his head in his arms as he sunk down in his seat.  “All I’m asking for is a Skinny Latte. Is that so difficult?” the Canadian muttered in his arms. “Once. Just once in my life. All I wan-“

“It’s a two-and-a-not-really-half-but-also-not-quite-three shot Espresso.” Baek Hyun interrupted, placing cake in front of them. Chan Yeol decided to dig in and ignore his whining seat-mate.

Damn, the chocolate mousse was good. He eyed Baek Hyun appreciatively as well.

Chan Yeol thanked the deities for creating Byun Baek Hyun, who in turn, could create awesome desserts for him.

The  pâtissier slash waiter slash Baek Hyun continued his explanation, oblivious to Chan Yeol’s adoring drooling. “Whenever Tao adds extra caffeine in his drinks, he’ll add a ‘-decker’ to it. The extra caffeine boost ‘decks’ you with extra energy, so to speak.”

Kris shot the small waiter an irritated look, promising death and destruction.

However, to Kris’ disappointment, Baek Hyun remained un-fazed and continued to smile beatifically at him.

Kris could feel his irritation levels rising.

“Dude, it’s currently 7PM. I don’t need extra caffeine.” Kris snarled.

Darn Tao and his stupid obstinate coconut head. Darn him to the lowest pits of heck.

“Yeah, but don’t you have a couple of deadlines to meet?” Baek Hyun asked, cocking his head to the side. Chan Yeol whimpered at this new angle of aegyo-ness. “You said that your assignments were due tomorrow.” The small brunette not so helpfully pointed out.

Kris decided to ignore him and instead focus on crushing his chocolate cake to death with his fork.

Die, die, die.

Baek Hyun nudged Kris in the shoulder. “See, Tao sensed your need...and fulfilled it!” Baek Hyun cried happily. “He is awesome that way!” the brunette skipped off, tray under arm, leaving Chan Yeol sighing dreamily in his wake.

Kris decided that he didn’t like Byun Baek Hyun either.

“I get Skinny Lattes,” Chan Yeol pointed out, not so helpfully. His eyes still had a glazed expression as they followed Baek Hyun’s retreating back. Come back, my beautiful darling. I still want more cake…

Kris looked up and stared at him.

Incredulously.

“Really?”

“Well, technically, Baek Hyun was the one who gave the order to Tao,” the tall Korean confessed with another sigh.  “The last time I gave my coffee order personally, Tao started breaking down on the counter.”

“Crying?” Kris inquired.

“With laughter.” Chan Yeol confirmed. “Then he assigned me a Triple Cappuccino, with the works.”

Kris raised an eyebrow.

“He added chocolate syrup, marshmallows, whipped cream…” the Korean drifted off into thought, sighing wistfully. Even with Chan Yeol’s extremely low tolerance to sugar, he had to admit that that Triple Cappuccino had been worth it. Especially since Baek Hyun had been so nice that day and had sneaked him an extra piece of chocolate mousse.

Coffee and chocolate was a deadly blend.

Especially when said coffee had been swirled together in Tao’s expert hands, the bitter-sweetness perfectly offsetting the heavenly decadence of chocolate mousse.

Kris found himself nodding along to Chan Yeol’s comments. Despite having a bossy personality, Kris had to admit that Tao could make an awesome cup of joe.

“Was that the time when you kept twitching and talking throughout the night?” Kris asked. Having made to share a bed with his long-legged roommate, Kris had not been amused by the Korean’s antics. No one could feed Chan Yeol sugar, without getting deadly results.

“No, that was the time when he gave me a…actually, I’m not sure what he gave me. But it tasted...heavenly.” Chan Yeol gave out another wistful sigh, looking down at his almost-finished chocolate mousse. He took another bite.

Kris scowled and took out his fat psychotherapy textbook, throwing it down on the table with a thump. “After reading all this, I still fail to understand him.” the Canadian scowled at Tao's direction, whilst opening his book to a worn dog-eared page.

Chan Yeol took a sip of his Skinny Latte, ordered through Baek Hyun. “Don't try to,” the Korean advised. “Just eat your cake.”

“I could, if I had any. You ate my share!”

“Well...you know what they say: can't have your cake and eat it too.”

“You JUST DID! In fact, by “your” you mean “mine” and you ATE IT!”

“Them be fighting words, boy!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

They then started doing their little fight routine, which involved much slapping of hands and smushing of carefully coiffed hair. It was as aegyo as it was juvenile.

“Sir...you're scaring the customers,” Baek Hyun materialised before them. He then smiled beatifically. “I've always wanted to say that. Thanks for making my day perfect, Kris.”

Kris and Chan Yeol stared back at him. Momentarily surprised, their fight was forgotten.

“But seriously, dude. SHUT. UP.” Baek Hyun flounced off huffily. Chan Yeol whimpered.

“You made him mad. Now, I can no longer have free cake,” the Korean dropped his head into his arms and sobbed manfully all over Kris' psychotherapy textbook.

Oh sweet chocolate mousse...may we meet again in some other coffee shop...

Kris rolled his eyes and tried to pry the textbook away from his over-dramatic cake-deprived friend. Chan Yeol refused to surrender. Kris gave up and sighed.

He was having a bad bad day.

Just then, Baek Hyun flounced back.

“One double-decker espresso!” He slammed the drink onto the table and left, whistling.

And his day just got worse.

Kris stared at the drink suspiciously. What had Baek Hyun said about the “decker” part? He shrugged and flipped the lid off the cup before taking a tiny, delicate sip.

POW.

The caffeine hit him like a brick to the face. It coursed through his musculature, travelling through his body like an electric current. Upon reaching his feet, it made his toes shriek and fall off.

Kris collapsed boneless onto the floor.

Watching from the counter, Tao allowed himself one evil chuckle.

Heh.

Three...two...onneee...

Kris twitched from his position on the floor. First there was a slight trembling in his limbs. Then a spasm crossed his face. And then something wonderful happened.

One moment, there had been a prone body lying on the floor. In the next, the body executed a 180 degree flip into the air and the limbs flailed about in a whirlwind of caffeine-fueled fury. Kris' eyes snapped open. His hair stood on end.

HE HAD NEVER FELT SO ALIVE.

WHEEEEEEE......

XOXOXOXO

{A/N: Hi. *ahem* AAAAARRRGHHH!!!! *bashes head against the table* I didnt' want to post this up, but I just couldn't resist the urge, cuz this was written like, three months ago. The urge to post it up was too great. 

Anyways...

Just so you know, Coffee Shop AU Edition isn't going to be as cracky as Ghost-Busters. I'm trying to experiment with snarky humor here, descriptive food , and fluff. Yeah. Expect a lot of fluff. And not just kitten fluff. *coughBaekHyunKittycough*

There's no specific storyline here, but I guess you could say that this is just a collection of weird--cracky-funny-fluffy-food scenarios.

Why is Tao the main character here again. I DON'T KNOW, OKAY. IT JUST SPAWNED OUT OF CONTROL.

And SHINee and Super Junior will probably make a cameo. Yeah. And I'm planning on Big Bang, too. It's a AU, people. I can mess around with whoever I want. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....*ahem*

Anyways.

Explanation for this chapter. To deck someone, means to give them a punch. Tao's coffee decker means that his espresso hits you with a punch of caffiene, giving you a major energy boost. Medically speaking, a two shot-espresso is not actually healthy, let alone three. So I decided to go for a two and a half, not quite three shot of espresso here. 

Yeah, I'm a coffee addict. 

Moving on.

The original plan was to post up this chapter when I got the poster, but oh, heck. Enjoy, people. Just enjoy it. 

I've got the next scenario already written up, Actually, it was written three months ago, too, along with this chapter. I was experimenting with Coffee Shop, to make my creative juices flow for Ghost-Busters. 

If you liked this, then, comment! I get fuzzy feelings whenever I read y'all comments and feedback on the polls. ^_^ I'll base the quickness of the updates on the amount of feedback and comments I get, so....comment, people. Feedback would be absolutely lovely. (why am I speaking with a British accent now, idk.)

I'll be throwing in random movie characters in here too, they might be subtle hints, or they might not. Comment below if you think you got the character right!

Comment, subscribe, and upvote if you like the chapter! And vote on the poll below, too! ^_^  

{A/N #2: for new readers who have no idea what ghost-busters thing I'm talking about, go look here: 

DRIFTERQUEEN: Hey, yo :) Beta reader here. My author has been whining about all her coffeeshop feeeeeellllss...and I'm so glad she finally posted this up! (She was driving me up the freakin' wall.) Oh, wait, she claims she wasn't...she was merely, uh, EXPOUNDING on her intense feels for caffeine-infused liquid. Ok, you punks better be nice to her or y'all can get off my lawn :)