It had been 6 long dark months since that night, He tried so hard to battle and get over the older boy. He began to drink to hide from his problems, even hanging out with his friends more and more in hopes they can make him forget. Yet he couldn't even forget the older man no matter how hard he tried. Key had remained din what was once there shared apartment, his side of the bed made up perfectly, his smell still lingers around the bed room.

 

The memories of their 6 year relationship playing out in front of his eye's. Every thing he did from washing and showering, to cooking dinner to watching tv to sleeping at night. He missed snuggling up to the older, he missed it when the older would walk in the bath room and join him in the shower, hand's wrapped round his waist.He missed cuddling in bed with the older as they shared sweet kisses.

 

Key was still such an emotional wreak, just wanting to feel Jonghyun in his arms once more. He was stupid and a complete fool and idiot knowing he would jump at the chance to have Jonghyun back as his one and only. Key had tried to date since the split, he went out with Swion one night and well it didn't even feel right to Key. he felt awful and cheating.

 

Of course he gave the older man a chance and it didn't last long when he tried to make out with Key. Swion's large hand's touching his soft pale skin made him feel sick and before Swion got more carried away, Key pushed him off and chucked him out before bursting in to tears, crying out for Jonghyun to just walk through the door and make it alright.

 

He never let go of the older's t shirts that had been left behind, they still smelt so strongly of Jonghyun and it was the only thing keeping Key going in that moment. He always wondered what Jonghyun was doing, had he met someone else. Was he having with more girls. Was he taken and dating some beautiful women and settled down, even becoming a dad yet.

 

Those thought's always broke his heart again and again, wishing he could still be the person in those strong arms. He wanted it to be his named that was tattooed across the older's heart. He hoped the older would never forget about him though. Jonghyun will always remain so special in Key's heart because of the simple reason, he was his first and only love. He had been Key's first kiss, first make out session and first time in bed together and he really wanted Jonghyun to be the one he spent the rest of his life with.

 

10 minutes down the road from Key's apartment, Jonghyun had brought a small place. It wasn't fancy or flashy yet it suited him just fine. It was dull, boring and old. That night was a night he will never forget and he regretted what happened that night since he stepped foot out side the front door and closed it. The sound of the younger's voice screaming out in pain for him to not leave haunted his thought's every single day.

 

He hated him self more then anything. Guilt scratching and clawing away in his stomach, those words that he had said to the younger he never ever meant. He remained in side his apartment, not eating or sleeping or even bothering to wash and shower. He was a complete mess and he deserved to be alone to die.

 

Since that day Jonghyun hadn't left his home, switched of his phone and ignoring the knocks on his door from friends and family. He never did sleep with anyone else and as he thought back to all those times he cheated on Key, it broke his heart so small sharp stabbing pieces. Why did he do that, Key was always more then enough for him, he loved the feline boy so much and will always love him for the rest of stupid life.

 

He was proud to say he was Key's first love and he hoped he never forget about him like he couldn't forget about Key. He could never sleep at night, missing the soft smooth milky skin under his finger's. He missed how the younger's body moulded so perfectly with his and how they would always share sweet tender loving kisses and whisper sweet nothings to each other. He missed how Key would always cook for him, the food tasting so amazing and never had a dull dish from the younger, food tasted so bland, dry and dull now he wasn't around.

 

He missed walking in the the bathroom while Key showered and would creep in and hug in from behind, the younger body relaxing in his hold. He missed the way Key would snuggle into him as they laid together on the sofa watching some random drama or funny reality tv game show. He really missed those nights were they would make sweet love under the strong moon light.

 

The way Key's body would wither and move beneath him, His name spilling form those bow shaped lips he loved to kiss and nibble. The way Key looked with messy hair, his body slicked with sweat yet he glowed brightly and he looked even more breath taking and beautiful with the after glow. He looked like a rare angel and Jonghyun was the only one to see him in that state.

 

It was that one day neither expected to once again change their lives. 6 months had passed, both feeling depressed, lonely and lost. Key had given up trying to move on when he was still completely stuck on Jonghyun and it didn't seem like it would be changing any time soon. Jonghyun missed and craved Key, He had begun cutting him self to release the pain yet it just made him feel more alone and depressed then he was before.

 

He never forgive him self and he knew he didn't stand a chance with Key ever again. It was a rather chilly October morning and Jonghyun finally cracked. The months of sleepless night's and starving himself pushed him over the edge. He had lost so much weight that none of his clothes even fit him any more. He hadn't showered for 2 weeks, he refused to look after him self when he had no reason too.

 

He grabbed his jacket, sliding his skinny arms through the arm holes. Wearing some old trainer's he looked round his old dirty apartment one last time. He truly didn't deserve to live no more and he couldn't take the guilt no more,knowing Key had properly moved on and found someone new to replace him. It was the first time in weeks he had left the apartment and was seeing day light.

 

People looking at him worriedly as he slowly walked down the street. He knew where he was heading and it was like he was walking the path of shame. Jonghyun felt sick in his stomach and felt rather weak as he dragged him self along the road to his destination, to the place he was going finally find peace at. The quicker he could get there and get it over with the better.

 

Key was finally cracking under the pressure, friends and family wouldn't leave him alone and it was being made worse when friends kept trying to hook up with a date. He didn't want one, he wanted Jonghyun and no one else, He had gone past the point of caring about Jonghyun cheating on him, he missed him so much, his heart bleeding for that touch he craved and desired so much.

 

He needed to get away from everyone and the only place he could truly escape and find peace was down the road from him. He quickly grabbed his winter coat and shoes, slamming the door shut and wrapped his scarf round his mouth. His feet carrying him to meet his true fate at last, maybe this was the only way he can finally be free from being stuck on Jonghyun.

 

His feet walked quickly down the streets to reach his destination. It wasn't that far away and he wanted to get this over and done with quickly, hoping no one will cause a fuss or try to stop him from doing this. When he saw his place in sight he frowned slightly as he could make out a figure standing there.

 

Of course the bridge was the perfect suicide spot to just jump to your death quickly, he rushed a little to see who that person was maybe he could do some good before he meets death him self. As he moved closer his eye's widened at the sight that was in front of him.

 

"J..J.......J....Jonghyun" Key whimpered out and the said boy whipped his head around to see the love of his life standing there broken and dull like the life had been out of him.

 

"K...K..Key" was all Jonghyun could muster up, his red puffy eyes full of pure salty tears pouring down his face, dark black circles painting them self's under his eye's.

 

"W..w....what are you doing" Key gasped out as he saw Jonghyun hanging on to the rails looking like he was going to jump off any moment.

 

"I..I..I can't live any more, n..not without you by my side" Jonghyun chocked out and turned to look down, the strong waves bashing the large rocks.

 

"W...what do you mean Jonghyun, d..don't jump please" Key pleaded, he was so shocked to see the man he loved so much look so different, He had lost all colour in his body, he looked more like a walking skeleton, his hair was all messy and matted up, his eye's looked so dead and emotionless, just guilt covering his pained face.

 

"I..I'm sorry Bummie I didn't mean to hurt you but it's too late, I don't deserve to live any more" Jonghyun shouted and moved even closer to the edge. Key rushed to where he was and placed his cold slim hands on top of Jonghyuns now slim bony hands.

 

"Jonghyun please I..I'm begging you don't jump, I don't care any more please don't leave me again" Key cried out, the thought's of potentially losing Jonghyun again scared him.

 

"I..I never wanted to leave you in the first place Key, Oh god those lies I told you, I love you Kibum and I always will" Jonghyun spoke, he loved the feeling of Key's hand's on top of his but he didn't deserve this.

 

"I...I..I love you too Jonghyun and I always will, just come back over the railing please Jonghyun I'm begging you" Key was in tears hoping and praying Jonghyun wouldn't jump of the bridge.

 

Jonghyun was shocked at what he was hearing, did Key truly still love him even after everything he had done and said. He couldn't refuse the younger's pleads he carefully turned around and climbed back over the railing's best he could.

 

As soon as he was back on the safe side Key threw him self at Jonghyun, arm's wrapping round his fragile body, both stood there holding each other and sobbing there hearts out. Tears continued to keep falling, Key noticed Jonghyun really wasn't well, he smelt and looked like he had seen a ghost. Key pulled back to gently wipe away those tears that didn't stop falling from those puppy eyes.

 

It was cold and Key just wanted to take Jonghyun home and sort him out. He laced his hand with the older's and gently tugged him forward. They slowly walked and ended back at the scene of the night that caused both boys so much heart break and pain. Key pushed his thought's to one side and went to run a hot bath for the older boy adding the apple bubble bath he had left behind those 6 months ago.

 

"Jjong come I have run you a bath ok" Key held his hand out for the older to take, slowly walking him to the bath room.

 

"Strip and get in while I go make you some food" Key told the older and as he turned Jonghyun grabbed his hand and turned him round.

 

"Please don't leave me, please" Jonghyun whispered, fear in his eyes.

 

Key nodded his head and slowly helped Jonghyun get undressed, He gasped as he saw just how skinny he had become, those chocolate abs had gone and was replaced with just bones sticking out, Key carefully lifted the older's arms, tracing the out line of the cuts

on his wrist and arms.

 

"Why Jonghyun" Key whispered out, tears leaking from his eyes as he truly saw how much of a state Jonghyun had become.

 

" It was my punishment for hurting you though nothing I could do to my self would hurt more then what I did. I was an idiot, I hurt and lied to the only thing that truly mattered to me" Jonghyun whispered out and quickly looked into Key's eyes seeing them

filled with worry.

 

"You stupid idiot, come you need cleaning you smelly puppy" Key tried to joke and for the first time in 6 months Jonghyun smiled weakly.

 

"You know I really regretted saying what I did that night as soon as I left I regretted it and just wanted to come back and hold you" Jonghyun spoke quietly.

 

"Why didn't you then" Key asked.

 

"Because you deserved better then a disgusting cheating rat like me" Jonghyun looked down at the bubbles in the bath.

 

"And who are you to tell me I deserve better, Yes you are a disgusting cheating rat that broke my heart to pieces and even when you wasn't here I couldn't let go. Despite everything that happened between us I still love you Jonghyun and no way was I getting over you in a flash after spending 6 years together. You was my first and I wanted you to remain my first and only one. I still want you Jonghyun. I..I..I still love you so much you dorky idiot, I hate you yet love you" Key chocked out as tears formed in his eyes.

 

Jonghyun remained quiet for a while letting everything slowly sink in. Key had not only just saved his life but could be giving him hope to want to live again.

 

"Get washed up and I make some sandwiches then it's bed for you mister" Key spoke "And I put some clean clothes on the bed for you".

 

Key walked out the bath room and Jonghyun quickly washed his hair and cleaned him self, the water had turned rather dark black from the dirtiness of him. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist and saw the clothes Key had put out for him, some clean boxers and long trousers and one of his t shirts he left behind before. He slowly walked in to the kitchen leaving his hair to dry on it's own. Key was busy finishing up making some yummy ham sandwiches and there was a lot of them on the plate.

 

"Oh your done, sit and eat up Jjong need to build you up again" Key placed the plate down and they remained quiet while they ate. It had felt years since Jonghyun tasted such sweet tasting food. He loved these sandwiches and couldn't eat them quick enough.

 

Once they had done Key took and washed up the plate and turned round to see Jonghyun looking at him, his puppy eyes full of fear and regret, hurt yet hope. Key walked over and took Jonghyun's hand in his, walking him to the bedroom they once shared, the memories of them hit Jonghyun in the face. He could see the nights they laughed and made love to each other.

 

It really made him regret his actions even more and just wanted to rewind time to be back in Key's arms again. He laid down on his side of the bed and saw key lay next to him and for a moment it felt like they had gone back to the way they were. Key opened his arms and this time it was Jonghyun who slowly moved closer and snuggled in to the younger's chest, smelling that sweet strawberry sent he had missed so much.

 

Jonghyun felt so tired yet he had one more wish he wanted before he went to sleep.

 

"Key c..c..c...can I..I have a..a kiss" Jonghyun whispered out and Key knew the older would ask him.

 

"Alright come here then" Key spoke and Jonghyun moved closer and soon his thick full plump lips where covered with Key's thin bow shaped lips.

 

He felt electric shocks flowing through his body like he was been revived to life again. It was slowly becoming more sweet and loving and before they got carried away Key pulled back and looked at Jonghyun.

 

"What does this mean" Jonghyun asked as he snuggled back down in to Key.

 

"Well it's the start of a fresh chapter for us, it is going to take a long time but we can maybe be whole again" Key whispered out and both boys smiled as sleep took over.

 

That day had once again changed there life's, the new chapter starting for them and it was obvious when they were apart they didn't have a meaning to life. When they were gone and alone life was dull, boring and dead. It was a sign that they were meant to be no matter what faults they have and the mistakes they made. True love will always pull through and win in the end.

 

It was surprising that the day they both chose to end there life's was the the day the reunited and become whole once more. They had hurt each other and then saved each other's life. They were meant too be and never again will they face life without each other because then they are gone true love is dead and gone as well.

 

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A/N Here it is and I hope it doesn't disappoint ><

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