These Violent Delights
Description
Your first love is a star, and you are the black sky across which he shines.
Your second love is a boat, and you are the ocean that sets him free.
And your third love? Of him, you do not speak.
Foreword
There is a half-carton of semi-skimmed in the fridge, though it is not the brand he normally buys, and some cereal that boasts a reduced fat content. On this early morning, it is enough for Kibum.
He sets the kettle to boil, for tea, and eats his cereal over the sink while waiting for it to boil. Outside, he can see the usual sasaeng fans standing in the snow, sharing a thermos of hot chocolate, watching the large iron gates which guard their apartment complex. They haven’t yet identified the block and floor in which the band lives, so they still have the luxury of leaving the curtains open on sunny days.
The sound of a door opening attracts his attention; it is Jonghyun, emerging from the room they share. He’s conceded to wearing a top because of the cold, and comes to warm his hands at the kettle.
“You left the bed cold,” he accuses.
“It was cold when I got in last night,” Kibum says curtly. He’s not in the best of moods, and Jonghyun is mostly to blame.
Jonghyun says nothing. Kibum has stopped expecting him to.
Another door opens and their manager wanders out in his pyjamas; this month, it is Jin’s turn to live with them.
“Morning, guys,” he says. “That’s two of five. Any idea whether the rest of the troop made it back from last night’s party?”
Kibum shrugs. Jonghyun must have done the same, because Jin runs a hand through his hair and says “Aisshhh. I’ll go and see. You all know you have Show Champion in the afternoon, right?”
Jin extracts Jinki from his room; the leader stumbles into the kitchen with his eyes half-closed and Kibum gives him a mug of tea.
Minho emerges from the room he shares with Taemin a while later. He looks even worse for wear than Jinki, evidence of his time with one of his hyungs – Kibum suspects Nickhun, although Changmin can’t be ruled out either – dappled over his neck. Kibum gives him tea too.
He pointedly does not give tea to Jonghyun.
“Who last saw Taemin?” Jin asks.
“He was at Soliloquy with me and Jjong until about midnight,” Kibum recalls. “I left early.”
“I stayed until four-ish, but I don’t remember seeing him after Kibum left.” Jonghyun adds. Of course you wouldn’t, Kibum thinks, your eyes were reserved for things other than your bandmates.
It is not new for Taemin to go home with girls or boys instead of bringing them back to the dorm, as the rest of the members tend to do, but he rarely stays the night. He’s not answering his phone either, although that’s just as likely to be evidence of his ‘minus-hand’ tendencies as it is to be evidence of kidnapping.
Jin mutters something about a long overdue telling-off.
By lunch, Taemin still hasn’t come home. Kibum takes the initiative to call the Lees, and Taemin’s mother confirms that he has not been home. The rest of the members take to calling him every ten minutes or so. Manager Wong came in around eleven, and Kibum can hear the two of them wondering whether the situation is serious enough for them to call the police. He wants to scold Jonghyun for being so inattentive of their maknae, but that argument will open a whole can of worms he’s not prepared to deal with.
His phone beeps, alerting him to a message.
He reads it, and his heart sinks.
“Manager,” he says, and wordlessly hands the phone over to Jin. Jin reads it, eyes widening.
“What?” Jinki asks, springing over from the couch. “It’s Taemin, isn’t it?”
Jin clears his throat and begins to read aloud. “You will have realised by now that I’m gone. Don’t bother looking for me. I apologise for the trouble all the hyungs will face after this, but I have to do this. I am done. Done with SHINee, done with being an idol, done with this life. Take care of yourself, hyung. Goodbye.”
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13.03.2014/13.08.2014: Hiya! This is sherleigh, dropping by to thank the lovely and talented onewjoo and the infintely talented Thais326 for their wonderful posters :) which bookend my opening chapter.
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