The greatest irony perhaps about not thinking about someone was being acutely aware of actually trying it.

Woo Bin grimaced. Finding himself actually finishing his tasks for the day - imagine working being the distraction instead of it being why one needed distraction in the first place! - he closed the file he'd just signed, got to his feet, and headed out the door. Time for some well-earned fun and relaxation. 

Not that his well-earned fun and relaxation was much help for him to forget the more... interesting occurrences that had happened to him.

It had been more than a week already since he last stepped foot in Shinhwa University. In the days following his meeting with Shinhwa executives, e-mails and memos were exchanged between them and Woo Bin's team. Next to their agenda was the groundbreaking ceremony, which the university officials had yet to schedule.

Which meant that he had no reason to go to the university while claiming to be on official business.

Which meant that he had no actual reason or chance to see her again within its premises.

Which was actually quite good, come to think of it. Woo Bin really did need time away from her presence so he could straighten his thoughts. Clear his head.

And hopefully rid himself of his totally unnecessary feelings for Chu Ga Eul.

It was proving to be a gargantuan task, as during his unguarded moments he could clearly see her face in his head - and the confused, hurt expression on it when he chose to ignore her, in front of everybody.

In that moment, he'd thought it was the only way out of that mess.

Now though, he wondered if there was another way of doing it without humiliating her in the first place.

God, he was an , wasn't he? What kind of friend was he for consciously doing that to someone like her? 

And he dared treat her like that when all the while he was conscious of his... evolving feelings?

.

One thing was certain, though: his feelings were scary and confusing and totally unnecessary. They needed to go - soon.

And alcohol always helped with that.

He'd thought about heading to his favorite bar, but today being Friday it would be close to b with people he had no desire to interact with. So would other acceptable bars within the district, for that matter. Which meant that for him to get his fix, Woo Bin would have to raid his father's well-stocked mini bar. 

Again. 

Fifteen minutes later, and he was pulling into the vast driveway of the Song residence.  

He reached for his phone, absently noting that he'd received no call or message in the time it took him to go home. It had also been eerily silent these past few days. Save for his business contacts, none of the F4 members were reaching out to him. Which was good. Probably.

Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo were understandable, given their hectic schedules and busy lives. And Yi Jung, well... 

Yi Jung had probably taken the hint that Woo Bin was not going to answer his calls, no matter how frequent he made them. 

And Woo Bin was in no hurry to actually explain what the hell he was doing.  

What was he going to tell his friend, anyway? Sorry bro, I wasn't answering your calls because I really didn't want to talk to you. Oh by the way, the girl you left behind? She still likes you, but you're so far away. Mind if I make a move on her?  

Woo Bin chuckled to himself, knowing the bitter answer to his own question. 

Oh, what a curious position he'd placed himself in. 

He'd opened the door of his car when his phone actually rang. Woo Bin rolled his eyes; his staff knew better than call him when he was already off the clock. What the hell did they need with him now that they weren't able to tell him when he was in the office fifteen minutes ago? 

He was mentally preparing to be appropriately outraged at their audacity to contact him when he caught the name of the caller. 

Oh. Well. 

This was different. 

"...Ji Hoo?" 

"What, no 'yo bro' for me?" 

Woo Bin smiled. Stepping out of his car, he leaned on its side and said, "What can I say? You surprised me. I wasn't really expecting to hear a call from an esteemed doctor such as yourself." He paused. "I didn't schedule a check-up with you while I was drunk or asleep, did I? Is that why you're calling?" 

Ji Hoo laughed. "You text people when you're drunk or asleep?" 

"Maybe," Woo Bin said noncommittally. "I'm a man of many talents." 

"I wouldn't be surprised," Ji Hoo said, still sounding amused. He then cleared his throat. "But no, that's not why I called. Or-- well, partly, anyway. I called to check if you're still alive." 

Woo Bin raised his brows, truly surprised to hear that. "Last I checked, I am still breathing. I'm about to drink my weight as soon as I get off the phone, though. Feel free to ask me that again tomorrow morning, but no guarantees as to what my answer will be by then."  

Ji Hoo sighed. "You really need to learn how to control your drinking, Woo Bin. We both know you're not getting any younger." 

"Probably the reason why I drink in the first place." He frowned, adopting a more somber demeanor next. "Seriously, though. Why are you checking? Did you read my name on an obituary lately?" 

"Of course not," Ji Hoo answered quickly. "Don't even joke about that." 

"Then--?"  

"Yi Jung asked me to call you." 

Woo Bin grimaced, his good mood evaporating into thin air. "...ah."  

"You don't seem surprised," Ji Hoo observed. 

"No, I am. I mean--" Woo Bin turned, rested his forehead at the window of his car. Damn it, Yi Jung. "What did he tell you?" 

"That you weren't answering his calls," Ji Hoo said easily. "He was worried about you." 

Woo Bin was never a fan of guilt, especially at how invasive and all-consuming it felt like. But he'd be damned if he wasn't feeling guilty now. "Oh. That's... Well, tell him he has nothing to worry about. I was just-- I was busy," he found himself explaining. "I told you about my work now, didn't I? I mean, I've been very busy lately. Jun Pyo asked me to build his school for him and that's what I've been focusing on for the past few weeks."

God, he was an .  An who'd rather keep his friends in the dark than tell them the bloody truth. An who also couldn't come up with more believable excuses, at that. 

He wondered if Ji Hoo was buying them.

And he got his answer when Ji Hoo asked, rather coolly: "Busy enough not to take Yi Jung's calls, but not busy enough to take mine?"  

Woo Bin couldn't help it; he winced. Of course Ji Hoo saw through his bull. "Your timing was better," he said, knowing how lame he sounded.  

"Woo Bin," Ji Hoo said, in that tone of voice Woo Bin hated because it sounded so warm and kind and reasonable; like he was inviting him to explain without actually demanding it. 

And it worked. He was trying to become a doctor, for crying out loud. Ji Hoo was probably used to coaxing descriptions of symptoms from all his patients - even the most difficult ones.  

Woo Bin dragged a hand through his hair in frustration. Oh, where to begin? "I'm just... I'm trying to sort things out," he said in a low voice. "Talking to Yi Jung now, it's not... it's not yet something I want to do, not until I'm--" 

"What?" 

Woo Bin closed his eyes and sighed. "Not until I'm sure I can talk to him without feeling ashamed of myself." 

He needed a drink. , he needed a stiff drink, probably a liter or two. But Woo Bin knew that if Ji Hoo hung up now, or if he took another step, he wouldn't be willing to talk about this issue again. With anybody. 

And a part of him knew he needed to. 

"Yi Jung is your best friend," Ji Hoo said calmly. "I'm sure if you talk to him about whatever's haunting you, he'll understand." 

"Oh, right. As understanding as Jun Pyo is whenever you talk about Jan Di, you mean?" scoffed Woo Bin - and regretted blurting the words as soon as they were out in the open. ". Sorry, bro. I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just... never mind. Forget what I said."  

"You're not making sense," Ji Hoo said, after a lengthy silence. "How is your situation with Yi Jung similar to mine with--" 

"I like Chu Ga Eul," Woo Bin said - before he could lose his nerve. 

It was the first time he actually said the words aloud. And now that somebody else had heard them, Woo Bin was surprised to find how truly he felt that way. 

Ji Hoo, bless him, was so quiet at the other end of the line that Woo Bin was beginning to wonder if he was still there when he replied, "Jan Di's friend?" 

"And Yi Jung's sort of girlfriend," he said, almost spitting the words out. "Well, she's not that yet. Technically. But Yi Jung apparently left her this sort of... promise before he left for Sweden." 

"You've been seeing her?"  

"Sometimes. Not always intentionally," replied Woo Bin, grimacing again. "I mean... we were sort of friends before Yi Jung and all of you left, but after that I've been seeing her around. I wasn't-- you know, chasing after her, if that's what you're thinking. It's just... I got to know her better after spending time with her, and, well... let's just say I understand why he promised to go back to her as soon as he's done with Sweden." 

He could hear Ji Hoo sigh from the other end of the line. "And that's why you don't want to talk to Yi Jung." 

"I told you, I'm trying to sort things out," Woo Bin said. "I mean-- I've stopped seeing Ga Eul. Or, well, I'm trying to stop myself from wanting to see her. Because I know that if I continue to feel this way about her, I'm going to end up losing Yi Jung and that's..." He gritted his teeth. "I'm not going to jeopardize our friendship over some woman." 

Except Chu Ga Eul was not just some woman. 

Just like So Yi Jung was not just some friend.

Oh, what a damnable position he'd placed himself in. 

Ji Hoo's breathing was slow and even; the same thing couldn't be said about Woo Bin's, as he'd felt as though he'd just climbed a mountain twice over. But, curiously, he also felt relieved that someone else knew. 

Maybe Ji Hoo could tell him what to do.   

"You really think your friendship with Yi Jung won't survive this?" he asked quietly. 

Woo Bin shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, if our situations were reversed and I found out he's been making a move on the girl I lo--like, I can't really say I'll be understanding about the whole thing." 

"I'd like to believe," Ji Hoo started, "that Yi Jung would behave in a more rational manner than Jun Pyo did." 

That got Woo Bin to laugh. "Anyone could, at any given moment."  

"I got out of his wrath alive," Ji Hoo continued. "And we're still friends, to the best of my knowledge. I think fighting over women is something the F4 could survive - you and Yi Jung included." 

Woo Bin stilled, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing. "Are you-- are you saying I should risk it?" 

Ji Hoo exhaled slowly. "I'm not outright telling you to pursue Ga Eul. I'm just saying that you shouldn't discard your feelings too soon. While it's good of you to think of Yi Jung, shouldn't the reverse be also true? Your happiness is just as important as his, after all." 

Woo Bin nodded to himself. "I know. I know that. But all of you are like brothers to me. I can't stand losing any of you - not if I can do something about it."  

"So you'll just... what? Cut this girl out of your life? Pretend you don't feel anything for her?" Ji Hoo chuckled, and it was an unsettling sound. "It's not going to work. Trust me." 

"Then--" Woo Bin turned, unable to stand still. "--then what do you think should I do?" 

"Confront your feelings, Woo Bin. If need be, confront Yi Jung, too. You would gain nothing from lying both to yourself and to him." He paused. "Besides, at the end of the day the decision will not be yours. It will be Ga Eul's. And if she chooses Yi Jung, then you can go on with your life knowing that you did something about your feelings for her. But if she chooses you-- well. Then you'll be able to feel the joy Jun Pyo is experiencing, at this very moment." 

Ji Hoo sounded so wistful then that Woo Bin couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "You still love Jan Di, don't you?" 

He couldn't see his friend, but Woo Bin could imagine him straightening himself when he replied with, "It doesn't matter. She's made her choice. And as long as she's happy, then I'm happy for her." 

Ji Hoo laughed again, and it was a sad sort of sound. "At least, that's what I've been telling myself." 

That night, Woo Bin found himself nearly passed out in his father's den. A bottle of half-empty whisky stood quietly nearby - a witness to his single-minded goal to get drunk as soon as possible. 

And before he lost his nerve, he sent a clear-cut text to Yi Jung's phone:

Bro. Let's talk.