How long has it been now? A day? A week? A month even? I couldn’t even keep track of the time now but one thing that I’m very sure of is that it had been awfully lonely without Kagome by my side. It was absolutely quiet, silent and painful.

Ever since Kagome was lost to us, Miroku, Sango and Shippo hadn’t said a word to me at all. At least I think they didn’t but I had a vague memory of them looking at me with pained angry look, their lips moving but no words were registered into my mind. I supposed I was too submerged with my grief that I hadn’t taken notice of what was happening around me. So I figured that it wasn’t them who had given up on me, I was the one who distanced myself away from them.

This wasn’t without a reason though. Every time I took a look at them, memories would inadvertently be flooding back into my mind. The smiles, the laughter, the tears, the worries, the fights and all other things we had done during our journey would came flashing back, replaying and replaying like one broken record in my mind. It’s not like I really mind, after all we had been through from the beginning to the end of journey, it would just be nice to reminisce those times but it’s just too painful for me to take. I just couldn’t stop the pain of losing Kagome all over again after I came back to reality.

When those memories are being replayed, it wasn’t Miroku, Sango, Shippo nor Kirara did I saw. All that was played again and again was Kagome. Kagome’s angry features when she shouted at me to ‘sit’. Kagome’s whines when she was too tired from all the walking we had done for that day. Kagome’s laughter as we played a fool with one another. Kagome worried selfless tears when something went wrong and also the pained betrayed look after I came back from sneaking out to see Kikyo. It’s all Kagome, Kagome and Kagome that was repeated in my mind. I could smile at those memories if it wasn’t for reality that would hit me hard emotionally that I could never see her face again.

Truthfully, I had always known that we could never be together forever; that we would need to separate one day but I had never thought it would end up this way. I always thought I would be the one who leaves her, not the opposite. Months ago, when Kikyo still exists in our lives, I had thought that it would only be right for me to leave Kagome for the Kikyo that had lost her life because of me. It was the most sensible thing to do then for me and so I had resolved to leave her but it backfires on me. I could still remember vividly when Kagome had sat perched on the Bone Eater’s Well, looking calm and collected than I was then. She had confessed and explained slowly what she has kept hidden in her heart. Her words that were still selfless as ever when she had said that she couldn’t replace Kikyo and had even asked my permission if she could stay by my side. She had asked for permission, that stupid wench. As stupid as I called her to be, it was then that my heart and mind had changed. I can’t leave her. I didn’t want her to leave because I came to realize that I had inevitably fallen deeply and truly in love with her.

Now, when reality strikes back again, I hate to realize that it wasn’t the same as back then. We couldn’t talk this one out because it wasn’t her that was leaving me, it was her soul and no matter how hard I tried to hold on to it, it would just slip away and there’s no way of pleading it to stop. I sat there watching as what was left of her life slipping away from my hold of her body. She was slowly turning cold and when all of her soul had left, I swear that I could feel half of me had left too.

It’s funny to say that since I am still here but I had just lost the capability to hold myself together. I didn’t know for how long that I had stayed clutching on to her, holding her close and trying to savor what sweet scent that’s left of her though tainted with the strong iron smell of blood, the tears that I would usually fight back to maintain my strong front was flowing freely without any desire to stop but only with a push and pull by some others, did I finally weakly release her.

I couldn’t really remember what had happened next, since it was all a blur to me. I could only distantly remember someone pulling me up to me feet and half –dragged me to the village. Kagome’s body was taken from me for quite a while and when she was finally presented to me once again, I found myself standing in front of the shrine where Kagome laid on a grass mat, all cleaned up and neat in a Miko’s suit.

My heart immediately soared for her and absently, my feet brought me to her as my hand slowly reached up to her pale cheeks. I flinched when our skin made contact, my heart contracted as I realized the warmth that was still there before I released her was all gone, replaced by an icy cold sensation. The wounds that had caused her still stain her whole body and face coloring it in a pinker shade than her porcelain skin and though it distort her once smooth skin, she still looked beautiful.

“Inuyasha, it’s time to let her go.” The old woman placed her hand on my shoulder and with that a couple of others came forward and carried Kagome’s still body with the mat.

Absently, I followed the crowd and after a short distance, the men placed her down in front of a hole that was recently dug right at the roots of the extremely familiar Goshinboku tree and the villagers started saying prayers for her. My mind was in a buzz as the prayers ended and the men came forward once again but just as they were about to picked her up, I stopped them and came forward.

“Inuyasha?” the old woman and two other familiar voices called me questioningly but I just ignored them.

Since this would very well be the last time I could carry her, I took her up bridal style and jumped down to the hole and silently and carefully placed her inside the hole. Giving her a last kiss on her cheeks, I jumped out of it and wistfully took a fist of the soil and sprinkled it on her body. I heard someone whimpered behind me but I just continue doing what I would want to finish. After some time, the whimpering Sango came forward; taking a fist of soil in her hands and did the same as me. Slowly, one by one joined us and after the silent proceedings, Kagome was returned to the soils safely and everyone who had gave a last prayer to her slowly wheezed away from her resting place, leaving only me and our friends alone.

We stayed there for quite a long time, all silent with not a word being spoken out. All of us were quiet and were staring at the place where Kagome was placed in. All of us, I knew, were lost in our own thoughts, replaying back the memories that we all had spent together and just like as though the weather reflects our emotions, little droplets started patting down. I saw Miroku stood up in my peripheral vision, giving a hand to Sango to stand up, picking Shippo and Kirara along the way. All of them started to get a move on but as they realized I wasn’t moving an inch, they stopped in their steps and turned to me.

“Inuyasha, it’s raining, let’s go now.” Miroku’s voice, soft but I ignored. “Inuyasha, we can come back here again later when the rain stops so we better go off now.”

Still silent as ever, I just shook my head and stayed rooted at where I was.

“Inuyasha, though you’re a half-demon, you still could get sick in the rain. Let’s go now.” Sango took a step forward to me trying to pull me up.

I shook my head again and Sango expression turned into anger.

“Inuyasha--!” Sango shouted but was pulled back my Miroku.

“Leave him be Sango. He needs time to collect himself.” Miroku whispered to Sango but could still be heard with my sensitive ears.

Finally leaving me all alone, I slid nearer to Kagome and placed my hand on the muddy soil. “Kagome.. Come back to me, please..”

A/N: Please do review or subscribe if you like it. It will really help inspire me to update more regularly. I would want to know what everyone thought of my story. Constructive feedbacks would also be greatly appreciated. Thanks!