*

 

.It was common for a Mother who was born from any wealthy family to have a ‘big bother’ assigned for him with a duty to guard his innocence and his purity until his wedding day. It was also common too for them to get engaged to their own relatives just so outsider won’t get any cent of their fortune. That’s why, wherever he goes Luhan will always be with his guardian. Just like now, he was waiting his fiance’s arrival in this train station while tucked his body into the warmth of his brother as the cold air of January touched his pale skin.

 

He didn’t know he was drifting into sleep, only realized it when he heard two voices of men talking to each other.

 

‘What are you looking at?’

 

he could hear the gruff sound from his big brother. His lips almost twitched into smile cause he felt thrilled towards the older’s overprotectiveness around him.

 

‘It’s nothing.’ But then he heard an unfamiliar whisper, low and husky. It made him curious why such voice thumped his heart with no mercy and why at the time like this, he could only capable to hear, not opening his eyes and see who’s the voice belong to.

 

‘Who’s that?’

 

A couple of seconds later, he murmured hoarsely with eyes still blinked to ease away the sleep from him. It was a pity that the seat in front of him was empty and only leave him with a regret.

 

‘It’s just a ert.’ His brother grumbled.

 

Luhan wanted to say, the voice didn’t sound like that. But, he knew that any man around him, aside family, or his fiance, will only be seen as bad guy. that’s why he didn’t say anything else and closed his eyes again in hope the voice stays and accompanying him wandering in this endless nightmare called his life.

 

*

 

Luhan pouted at the groceries on the kitchen table. There are meat, chicken, vegetables, additional spices and some essentials which he didn’t really know what to use for. It’s his own fault though, for years he tried to deny his fate as Mother and stayed away from ‘motherly’ things such as cooking, sewing, or… reproducing. He used to shiver in disgust at education he got to hear from his mother and promised himself to stay until his death.

Thank God, things went differently when he met Kai. Now he anticipated everything he could do to be a mother and even can’t wait to see what will happen in their shared future. Will they had kids? Luhan let a gleam smile contorted on his lips as he rubbed his own stomach, imagining what will happen if he had a baby in him, if he was pregnant and they will be parents and they will raise cute and loving children, probably a bit silly from the father side and a little crybaby from the mother side…

He was too drowning in thought, a cell phone ring startled him back to realize, rather than dreaming of having children, he should learn how to cook first. That’s why he returned his attention to the groceries and a ‘Cooking for Dummy’ book, but before that he had to answer the call.

 

“Hello?”

“I’m in front of your apartment. Open the door.”

Huh? “Who’s this?” Luhan asked without thinking while looking into his phone, and his eyes widened at seeing the familiar name, followed by a loud sound of bell door.

“It’s me.” in front of the apartment building, a tall blond murmured while looking at the name tag of ‘Kim Kai’ and a scratchy hangul of ‘and Kim Luhan’ on the resicende board.

“Uhh, wait a minute.” Luhan rushed to the lift, “when did you get back from America? I thought you’re going for a month.”

“I planned to, but Mother called me. Why it took you so long to open the door?”

Luhan hit his head softly to the lift door. Holy crap, he didn’t expect this man will come back sooner, “you can’t go into my apartment.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“My husband isn’t home and because I’m not introducing you to him yet so you cannot just show up in our house.” Luhan finally reached the ground floor and opened the front door to his brother, “that’s the culture.”

The blonde stared at him with his dark colored eyes, before putting his cell back into the pocket, “since when you cared about the culture, Lu?” he asked with his deep-baritone voice which always made everyone nervous around him, “and why the hell did you get married, anyway?”

If Luhan was made by paper, probably he would get burned to the ashes already due to the harsh glare of the man. “Because we want to…” Luhan swallowed a big gulp and stood straight to face his brother while holding his tears from tearing apart his face, “Because he wants me and I want him.”

Park Chanyeol took a deep breath at seeing the skinny figure of his little brother. His eyes still pierced with anger but his love for this boy was far beyond any hatred he ever had. Althought he would love it to make Luhan cried just to satisfy the sadistic side in him and, to add his own excitement, Luhan always cried, all the time. But that’s not the point here. “You know Lu,” he began. “You can’t just get married and think everything will be fine afterwards. You have family and you had duty to mother a sucessor of our family with the fiancee who has been decided for you.” He shook his head in disappointment, “just, how stupid you can be?!”

Luhan snapped at hearing that. He bit his bottom lips, cause he’s not stupid. He never be. It’s not stupid to never be number 1 in class cause he’s always manage to be in top-ten. It’s not stupid if he didn’t want to be a lawyer cause he loves art. It’s not stupid to marry a stranger cause they love each other. “Im not stupid.” Luhan grumbled. “Channie if you come here just to mimic mother’s words, I think you better leave.”

“What?”

Chanyeol gave him a look, “you’re angry with me now? Do you know I’m capable to cut off any connection you’ve had with this husband?”

“No, you can’t. We’re legally married.” Luhan said firmly. However, Chanyeol sneered and whispered in a dangerous tone,

 

“But I can bring you home and lock you in your room forever, Lu…”

 

Luhan frowned. He was near breaking into sob, begging his brother to not just drag him back to that house which only full with sad past. Now, he had a beautiful life he never taste before and sure he wanted to treasure it, he didn’t want to lose it.

“I’m sorry.” He looked down, staring at the grey colored pavement under his feet. For a while, he let the warm breeze slipped in this painful silence. He knew what his brother capable of, he knew there’s no future for him if he decided to abandon his family. But, he need to remind himself again, he’s not alone, that’s why there’s no reason for him to be afraid. “Channie.” He raised his head again when he felt it’s okay to face the man, “I’m sorry for not telling you about my marriage, or asking your bless as my brother.”

The way Chanyeol looked at him, when he said that, it only grew another fear in Lu’s heart, what if the man didn’t want to hear anything from him. Then, a big and warm hand raised to pat his head, brushing his black hair affectionally and Luhan can’t help a bitter smile twitched his lips upon his brother’s touch, “but I’m not sorry for getting married to him.” he said softly.

I know.” He heard Chanyeol murmured, “You’re just too stupid to feel sorry.”

Luhan smile faltered. “How many times I had to tell you, Channie, I’m not stupid!” it’s just a silly tease but it never fail to catch him on fire.

“And how many times I told you, you’re stupid.” Channie threw a fake glare to him, “stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid…”

“Stop it!” Luhan hissed, “I’m already married so you can’t nag at me anymore!” cause that’s all Chanyeol needed to break his defence into pieces as the tears fell on his face like heavy rain. He cried, while biting his bottom lips so hard to make it stop.

 

“Why did you cry?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“You’re a adult now.” Chanyeol’s words suddenly suffocated him, make it harder to breath. Then Chanyeol grabbed his shoulders, tucked him into a warm hug despite showering him with harsh words. It was so complicated the feeling he had now. For this man, in one side he wanted to struggle and shouted at how he hated this kindness and cruelty towards him. But he knew Chanyeol since he was born, they grew up together and became brothers, there’s nothing in this world can make him trashed this man away from his life.

 

“So stop crying and be strong.”

 

Funny, those encouraging words just brought more tears onto his face.

 

*

 

“So, how did you meet this man?”

 

Luhan pouted at the vanilla ice cream shoved right in front of his face. After crying like no tomorrow, now his eyes felt so swollen and his voice turned so raw, as he took the cold treat from Chanyeol’s hand, “I was running in rain.” He began, holding his ice cream while sniffling the remain of tears away, “then I found a shop’ porch. He was standing there and we shared the little space together until the rain stop.” The memories was back along with the sadness of the clenched letter in his palm and the happiness from Kai’s soothing words, “I was crying over the letter and he hugged me until I calmed down. It was strange, Channie… when he said he loves me and he wants to marry me, I only think one answer.”

Chanyeol snorted, “what a drama.” He said in sarcasm, “he must be so handsome for you to just agree to marry him in the first place.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Luhan blushed, but indeed Kai was so handsome, and to think that Kai was in love with him, Luhan can’t feel happier than this, “you said to me all the time, Channie. It didn’t matter where or when, but love happens.”

The quote brought a little smile to Chanyeol face as the man grumbled lowly, “yes, it does,” he tucked Luhan into his chest again and with that Luhan finally set his heart at peace. Here he was sitting at a park bench across his apartment building, enjoying the warm morning inside his brother hug.

 

“Will I be okay?”

 

he asked, it’s not something he was worry for but it worth asking cause in the real meaning of the word, for all these years Chanyeol was the only ‘family’ he had.

“I can’t promise you will.” Chanyeol said, “but if he REALLY loves you, then he’ll try his hardest to make everything okay for both of you.”

 

*

 

“So, my brother is coming to visit me. I’m so sorry I’m not intruducing him to you first but can he come into our house? Please?”

 

Kai was so happy Luhan called him. He always loved any interaction he had with Luhan especially in the middle of work. It really helped him relieved his stress. However, hearing that the boy had a brother and the said brother come to his house, it made Kai felt nauseous with anxiety and in the same time, curiosity. He should be there, to properly greet Lu’s family member as a husband instead worrying about his life which was in danger cause maybe a big brother means, don’t-mess-with-my-cute-little-brother kind of person too.

“It’s okay.” He cursed to his coward self who preferred to stay safe, here, “I’m sorry too, I can’t go home to greet him.” he laughed a bit hollowly and tried to stop it cause he didn’t want Luhan caught the hints of his nervousness at this conversation.

“Nah, it’s fine, as long as he had your permission, he’ll come again later and probably we can have dinner together.” said the cutie pie, with the usual squeal which only clenched this heart even harder.

“Yes, I’ll be anticipating that.” Whatever, Kai thought. He will meet Lu’s family sooner or later and take a responsibility for his fatal mistake. He misunderstood their situation and thought Luhan was a foreign student. He didn’t know how Luhan told his parents about this marriage but he could imagine the worst, apparently.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Luhan simply offered such a big deal, a hard way cause Kai had to strength himself, he had to be ready for anything ‘the brother’ will say to him. Sadly, Luhan didn’t want to hear any answer from Kai and just talked to someone else, “hey, Channie? Do you want to have a word with my husband?”

“Of course.” Kai felt his back became stiff at hearing a gruff voice and suddenly he had image of tall and muscled wrestler as he heard the man spoke to the phone, “congratulations for your wedding.”

 

Kai didn’t know why he murmured a soft sorry.

 

“No, you don’t have to feel sorry.” The man sounded awfully cheerful, “I’m not angry with you, well, you angered someone else but definitely not me, but let’s not think about that. For now, I only here to check on my lil brother and I’m glad to see him happy, happier since…ever, I think I can count it on you.”

Kai blushed, feel blessed for such understanding. True there’s nothing to be sorry for, he had a strong faith with his love for Luhan and he already prepared himself for the worst since the day he decided to marry the boy.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered a humble thank for the man.

 

“You’re welcome.” The man laughed, “I’m Park Chanyeol, btw. It’s nice to know you.”

 

“It’s nice to know you too, my name is, Kim-… eh?” Kai furrowed his eyebrows, tried to find what’s wrong in here. Luhan had Xi in front of his name and shouldn’t this brother have the same family name, “excuse me did you said Park?”

 

“Yeah.” He heard Chanyeol said, “I’m one of his cousin brothers.”

 

Kai froze. Cousin Brothers?

 

Wait, so there’s not only one brother?

 

“Hello, Kai?” Luhan took the phone from Chanyeol, “when will you come home for dinner?”

“Oh, I’ll try to be early, like usual.” Kai immediately answered the time he heard Lu’s enthusiast voice, “sweetie, are you planning something for tonight?”

“No, I’m just…well, you’d see later hehehe… see you, Kai. I love you!”

“I love you too.” Kai can’t help but smile sheepishly at hearing that. Ah, it must be so bad for him to take such beauty into the part of his life. He remember the day his parents knew about this marriage, he got scolded by them for getting married in rush. They told him, there are step by step he had to follow to propose someone to be his wife. And he missed all steps, jumped to the wedding itself. Even his older brother can’t stop calling him idiot. Well, he deserved that.

 

“Oh God.”

 

Kai stared at the bright sky outside the office building while his smile exchanged into a hopeless gasp, “I wish could be stronger to protect him…”

 

*

 

 “Tada!”

 

Kai thought if there’s a way to tell luhan that putting on a frilly pink apron in front of his tees and short pants was . But he afraid Luhan didn’t even aware with that so Kai braved himself to not just jump into conclusion and jumped Luhan. He was glad though for managing to control himself to find a home-made dinner nicely settled on their small dining table, with Luhan who was still happily laughed in his pose.

“What do you think? It looks yummy, right?”

Kai stood next to the boy, rudely eyeing his wife’s waistline and then let his gaze stopped at the side view of Luhan hips, “it looks yummy indeed.” He snickered as he stared back at now blushing Luhan.

“Stop it,” Luhan pinched his arm in annoyance, before pointing at the food, “See, I’m cooking for you.” There’s something more on Luhan’s lips but the boy didn’t say it so he tucked Luhan into a loose hug and smiling when a gasp and a whine escaped from the beauty’s lips, “Kai!” Luhan warned him.

“Thank you.” Kai pecked his wife tenderly, “I bet it’ll taste like heaven.”

“I don’t think so.” Luhan immediately shook his head, “you know.” He was restrained by his own words. It’s like whatever he had to say hurting him somehow, so Kai waited until he was really ready to say it, “I never do something like this before.” he admitted, “I mean, like, being a wife. I never accept my fate as a ‘mother’ so I never tried to learn anything related to it. This is the first time I cook, and I’m sure there’ll be more ‘first time’ you’ve had to deal with me later.”

Kai stared at Luhan in daze, before the man smiled again, “It’s okay, lovely.” He kissed Luhan again, “I’m so in love with you whatever you are, so please enjoy our lives as together. Besides,” Luhan face suddenly turned so red when Kai’s hand d the younger’s playfully, “It’s my pleasure to be in every aspect of your ‘first’ time…”

“You’re such a ert oldman.” Luhan sighed in defeat, but the boy returned the favor by pressing their bodies and raised his hands to hug his neck,

 

“but you’re mine.”

 

“Yes, Luhan.” Kai chuckled into the boy’s hair, “I’m all yours.”

 

*

 

*

 

*

 

‘Since when, I’m in love with you?’

 

Luhan whispered the words in his husband’s lips, and his heart beating so loud when he felt an unconscious smile appeared on them. It wasn’t a rhetorical question. He did confuse why he could trust this man with his precious love in such a short time. He was being taught that men were dangerous. Some of them wanted only his body, his money, or simply wanted to humiliate his existence by hurting him.

 

‘Why did you ask me, Luhan?’ his husband breathed into his mouth, ‘I don’t know the answer.’

 

His husky voice brought a familiar feeling back into Luhan, giving him a deja-vu. It’s like he heard it before but he couldn’t remember where or when it happened. So he tangled his limbs around Kai even tighter, hugging the man close to him and close to his heart, ‘then who can answer that?’ he asked in between short breath cause their intimacy started to kill him due to the lack of air around them.

 

Kai chuckled lightly, ‘Sweety…’ The man stared right into his eyes, giving him a fierce gaze which made his heart collapsed and crashed into dust, ‘No one can answer the question about your heart.’ Kai said gently, before the man moved their hips in a torturous slow motion so Luhan could feel every inch of it when their pleasure met.

 

‘No one except yourself.’

 

*