I know it’s scary or maybe even weird to hear that I am so inlove with  a guy who doesn’t know I exist, YES I know I sound crazy but that’s part of being a fangirl and yes we have delusional fantasies with our bias, but that’s what makes my life a little bit less dull and more colourful, since I’ve been single the whole 20 years of my life. I did have crushes before things just didn’t turn out well.

Started being a kpop fan since I was like 15, but I’ve never been loyal to one group till Exo debuted. Watched every teaser that SM released and been fangirling over Chanyeol all these time. And even my workmates started to think that I’ll live a very lonely life to what I’m doing LOL.

I just...its Kpop’s fault that my standards of my dream guy like upgraded to such a level that I can’t find my ideal guy now.

So anyway, I’ll be going to Exo’s concert in my country and what do you know my friend Jinmi unnie, part of the staff got me passes backstage, I literally fangirled like crazy when she told me she can bring me in backstage.

[Flashback Backstage Passes]

“You knooooow~ I can give a pass.”

After she said I swear I choked on milktea, it even almost came out of my nose.

“*coughs* w-wh-what?!?!? Like seriously???” I had wide eyes like Kyungsoo swear. If she’s going to troll on me about that... I’m so gonna take my revenge on her.

“Yeah~ I felt bad that the tickets ran out as soon as you had your pay.” She nodded.

“Unnie~ if this is not a dream, I’m so gonna kiss you right now...” I looked at her with a teary eyed look.

“This is not a DREAM and save your KISS for Chanyeol ahahaha!!!”

“OHHH~ good idea. Hahaha!” We both laughed and fangirled nonstop after that.

[End of flashback]

Today’s the day, I’ll see Exo super up close and.....HOMAYGOSH....I can’t even...I don’t think I can do this after all...

I paced back and forth in my living room, thinking on how should I...like...compose myself and how should I smile.

“Okay, I can do this. Just smile naturally.” I smiled at the mirror and I looked like a creepy serial killer ready to kill =_=

“What the...I look...s***” Okay maybe I shouldn’t go after all, I took my phone out and dialled Jinmi but she wasn’t picking up.

“Why isn’t she picking up...” after dialling her number more, I heard the doorbell and it was Jinmi.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go.” Jinmi grabbed my arm, and I stood my ground which made Jinmi looked at me weirdly.

“Okay...what’s wrong?” she looked at me raising her eyebrow.

“It’s ummm...complicated?” I looked at her with innocent eyes.

“Okay, I know you’re nervous and you’re feeling you’re not ready to see them BUT you have to.” Jinmi explained sternly and she pulled with so much force that I almost fell. Like seriously Jinmi may look skinny but she’s strong as hell.

I got into her car and she drives like an F1 racer, she’s a devil on the road. And she was running late.

We arrived at the venue in the afternoon since I can tag along, and Exo was having their rehearsal. As soon as we got in the venue after passing by a few excited fans lining up already outside the venue. Today’s concert would be in an open ground. So some fans can peek through gaps covering the stage.

“You ready?” Jinmi flashed me a smile.

“Uh...can I pass this one and would be here at night instead?” I almost sounded I was begging.

“NO. COME ON.” She pulled me again. I swear my arm is gonna tear off any more of her pulling.

The heat was no joke and there I saw THEM. Everyone was wearing a wife-beater and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo was the only ones in shirts.

As we entered, Exo stopped rehearsing and greeted Jinmi, well Unnie is not just any staff but one of the bosses so yeah~

“Hi, so how’s rehearsal going?” Jinmi asked them.

“It’s been good and everything’s in order.” Suho answered with a smile.

I made sure I was from a far away distance since I don’t think I can handle things right now, and I feel like peeing...

While Jinmi was being busy I hid behind some barricades, I sat behind it. I wish Jinmi doesn’t notice I disappeared. While sitting there and under the heat of the sun by the way. I can see the fans outside, the gap between the tall cover, was pretty much big enough to see the stage from outside.

I somehow find it strange since the fans looked quiet in this particular area. I wonder why...

“Chanyeol Oppa...” A fan in the front uttered... oh now I know why they’re so quiet.

I looked up and yup it was him and he sat down in a squat position. I still didn’t face him but I can feel his eyes on me.

“Uhh...why are you doing?” I heard Chanyeol’s voice...

“I...I just feel like sitting here...”

“But it’s hot here. Wanna sit there?” He pointed at the edge of the stage since there’s a roof.

“No, I’m okay here.”

He scrunched his forehead looking confused.

“No. You may faint from the heat, since the heat is no joke.” He smiled and laughed and pulled me up from sitting.

“.........” That’s all I can come up with nothing LOL

He grabbed my arm and held my wrist and dragged me towards the edge of the stage, and he made me sit there.

I saw Baekhyun and Suho approaching him with wide smiles.

“Oh...Who’s she?” I heard Baekhyun asking.

“She’s I think Miss Jinmi’s friend and she was sitting over there, so I thought sitting here is much more comfortable for her.” Chanyeol explained innocently.

“Oh really?.... I think mainly it’s because you think she’s cute lol” Suho said in a teasing tone.

Do they even know I can hear them...

“Yah! Shhhhh... she can understand.”

“Oh!!! How did you know?” Suho sounded surprised.

“I spoke to her before going here. I asked her in Korean by accident and she answered.”

I turned to face them and saw the three looking shocked. Oh... it’s because I heard what they were talking about.

“Did you....” Suho didn’t continue with his question, I just nodded and looked away.

Yeah all of us are feeling embarrassed as of the moment. After 5 minutes I see Jinmi approaching me.

“Oh...there you are haha you seem to be calm now.”

Jinmi and I went back to the hotel, rested for awhile then went back to the venue this time, the concert will be starting soon.

I was at the backstage with Jinmi we were sitting together, and were fangirling over pictures in my phone. Mostly Chanyeol’s Photos. I have this habit of pinching Jinmi’s arm since she’s kinda chubby. And I pinch almost anyone’s arm beside me if I can’t contain my feelings LOL

“Can’t you stop this habit at all?” Jinmi asked me laughing.

I shook my head while biting my lip since I just can’t control my feels as of the moment.

And went back to looking at more photos of Chanyeol.

“He’s so cute!!!”

“OH! This one’s my favourite!”

“AHHH~ so cute ang~” I couldn’t contain my feels so I reached for Jinmi’s arm to pinch, but as I pinched her arm, it felt weird...it wasn’t soft but hard. I looked up and had the shock of my life.

Chanyeol was sitting beside me the whole time. And he was biting his lips trying not to laugh.

“So you like me that much?” He asked while holding his laughter.

“I-I-.....” I can’t even talk

“It’s okay, I like you too.” He said smiling a shy smile. While looking at me, I couldn’t help but smile a weak relieved smile.

“Let’s get to know each other more, Hi I’m Park Chanyeol” He reached out for a handshake.

I shook his hand and introduced myself as well.

Then I saw Baekhyun entered the room.

“I knew it, she was your type after all.” Baekhyun shook his head and winked at Chanyeol.

“N-no...I just want to be friends with her....” Chanyeol stood up from the chair and chased after Baek.

“Okay, did a Chanbaek moment just happen in front of me?” LOL

I saw Jinmi approaching me from, she was hiding behind the pillar all along.

“Where were you?”

“I couldn’t help it, Chanyeol’s been asking who you were from me.”

“Why would he even...”

“Well, he remembers you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ahhhh.... you always attend Exo’s events, concerts, and even sent him letters. Remember one letter that you wrote as a joke thinking he won’t be able to receive it anyway?”

“Yeah” I nodded

Then it hit me, It was the letter with my picture with it and it said in the letter.

[Part of the Letter]

Oppa just in case, you’ll have an idea what you’re future wife will look like LOL

Kidding aside, I hope all of you guys will watch your health and have more fans and success in the future.

EXO FIGHTING!!!

[End]

“Unnie...Kill me now.”

“HAHAHA anyway that tactic of yours is pretty funny but it worked at least.” Jinmi laughed so hard that she was tearing up.

Then Exo appeared and some were doing last minute rehearsals, and for one moment Chanyeol and I caught each other’s attention. He looked away and looked back at me again and gave me a gentle smile and mouthed the words.

“Thank you”

I don’t know but that simple “Thank you” meant a lot to me.

I don’t mind making Park Chanyeol as my first love even though nothing happened between us. But seeing him and having simple interactions with him, made me fall inlove with him more.

After the concert, as we went back to the hotel. Heard Exo was going back to Seoul the next morning. Kinda sad but hey they have to go back.

I heard our room’s buzzer, so I got up from bed and saw it was freaking 3am...who would buzz at this hour.

I went to open the door and was surprised to see who it was, you’ve guessed it Chanyeol.

“Hi...umm...” he sounded awkward

“uh....” I sounded retarded

“Um...this...” He held up a box. I took and looked at him in confusion.

“Out of all the fans who sent me letters, yours were pretty funny...your first few letters your Korean was clumsy but as I received more of your letter I see you  improving more and more which strangely touched me.”

“Oh...Thank you for having the time to read them” I felt so overwhelmed in happiness right now.

“And you were sharing some of your memories with me a stranger, so when I saw you in person I couldn’t help but want to get to know you more personally, so if you don’t mind...can we be friends?”

Chanyeol was fidgety and shy right in front of me, I didn’t imagine this side of him.

“I would love to...” I smiled , and by the way I made sure to speak away from him, since morning breaths are not all that pleasant.

“I left my contact there, so contact me if you have time” He smiled gently and leaned closer and smack. A kiss on the cheek, he leaned backwards and was looking down and he ran.

What the hell just happened??? He...he... HOMAYGOSH!!!!!

I dropped the box from too much shock and the things inside spilled out.

There were letters and a memo.

[Memo]

If I did really kiss you...I’m sorry but I may want to be more than friends TT_TT

[End]

What is going to happen after this? I have no Idea... the hell...Now I’m even more nervous. ;A;