Zelo suddenly got up from his chair and came nearer to me. He approached a spoonful of the stew and slowly shoved it into his mouth ily. Our eyes locked into each other as he expressionlessly clasp my hand and plant a kiss on it. I, who was actually really shocked at his sudden action, pulled my hand away from him, embarrassed. My heart beats real hard as if there’s something really scary happening in front of me, when actually, it’s not even close to horror.

I know that Zelo was actually trying to be nice, but I’m not really used to his sweet touch and all, it’s all very new to me. Plus, he is someone who I really admire and I don’t want him to feel like being used. I appreciate this opportunity to finally meeting and spending time with him, but to fast forward our relationship to the next level, I’m afraid he might think that I am using him for my own pleasure.

Zelo rubbed his back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He whispered as he looked downwards to the wooden tiles. “Let’s forget about this, okay?” He said, smiling bitterly, patting my back tenderly before running to the upstairs. I didn’t mean to embarrass him, it’s just… I don’t know. I decided to clean up the dishes and make an apologize to him so that he will be happy again. Making a cup of chocolate drink for him will be just perfect.

I walk to upstairs to find him and to make an apologize to him, but I saw nothing but a dark, quiet, empty bedroom. I tried to check at the bathroom but for the same result. He isn’t there.

I tried to search up for him at other rooms of the house but he isn’t there too. Did he get mad at me? Did I hurt his heart? Sorry, I shouldn’t do that. I just don’t want you to think that I’m the same as your other fans out there. I’m sorry Junhong. I’m sorry.

I ran to the backyard to see if he’s there, but no, nobody’s there either. “JUNHONG! JUNHONG! WHERE ARE YOU?” I yell worriedly, in hope he could listen to my voice. A tear suddenly rolled off from my eyes since I can’t help my feelings. My knee stumbled at the icy ground. The snow is snowing heavier and every drops of the snow hurts my skin.

It’s cold. Really cold.

It’s painful. Really painful.

But not as painful as what I’m feeling right now.

But not as hurt as how I couldn’t manage to see him.

My body is getting weaker as the snow frequently hit my timid body and finally I gave in and landed on the needle-like icy ground. I can hardly move my fingers. It’s hard to move my body. I can hardly breathe as I can feel that I’m inhaling lesser and lesser oxygen as the time goes.

Is this the sign of my death?

Am I really going to die this time?

Does that mean I must leave the world now?

Do I have to leave without meeting him first?

Why is it now?

Why is it before I can finally tell my true feelings to him?

Why is it me?

Why me?

Why must I die?

Why now?

…

I blankly stare at the broad dark sky as it spits uncountable number of tiny white dots onto the ground. I look at the snows as they slowly fall onto the ground. Some are being gathered together until they form a huge lump. They look so happy, like a big family with such a strong bond. I look at other snow as it falls down and disappear immediately, nowhere to be found. It isn’t forming other lumps either, but I assume it had melts right after touching the ground. The way it vanishes away resembles the sadness, the loneliness, the pain, the curiosity, the impossibilities…

It kind of reminds me of myself, who is still helplessly laying on the cold ground, couldn’t do anything but pray that I’m going to see him before I die. I feel so useless. I feel so dumb. But I can’t do anything but cry.

I just don’t want to leave this way.

A weird looking snowflake suddenly caught my attention. It is pinkish, sparkling, and looks a little bit bigger than other snowflakes. My eyes keep trailing at the pink snowflake as it slowly falls down and without my knowing, it falls on the ring finger of my right hand. I gasp as something silver with a tiny diamond surround the ring finger.

Is that a ring? I thought as I furrowed my eyebrows in confuse. I don’t remember wearing anything on that finger before but why does it suddenly appear only now? I take a look at the ring and something was carved at the ring.

Howon-~~~ Forever Love

Howon? Who is Howon? Why is his name carved together with mine on this ring?

Is he someone special? Why can’t I remember his face or how does he looks like if he is someone familiar to me? All I could think and remember now is only Junhong, and nobody else.

“~~~, CAN YOU HERE ME? PLEASE BE STRONG, PLEASE… PLEASE WAKE UP FOR ME! PLEASE ~~~, PLEASE! A man’s shouting voice suddenly appeared out from nowhere. I tried to find from where the voice comes from but fail and what annoyed me is that the voice keeps piercing into my ears. It’s too loud that it hurts my hearing. Stop… Please stop….

“DOCTOR! NURSE! SHE’S MOVING! HER FINGERS ARE MOVING! HELP! SAVE HER!” The voice is getting louder as the time goes. Is this the sound of a ghost? I thought, frightened in my own imagination of the weird looking creature. Whatever it is.. Please… Stop…

Junhong… Help me…

As more and more voices appear a part from the man’s voice as they all sounds so panic and in worries, I suddenly heard a sound of piano being played from the house. The song is harmonically played, but in a sorrow feel.

In a sad feel

In a death feel

In a lonely feel

From a soul that is nonetheless empty and broken

A dreamless pianist

A dreamless world

A dreamless dream

On a fated night

It’s Impossible Dream! I know this song. Someone has played for me before. The rhythm, the notes and the feel is almost the same as the one that I used to listen before. But who is playing? Is it Junhong?

Junhong, is that you? Why don’t you look for me? Why are you torturing me like this?

Do you hate me?

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