please keep in mind that this fic is a very... personal fic in which some of my feelings end up being trapped within zitao. it's a great fic for self discovery (for me) that i have been working on since June of this year. i most likely won't end up finishing it until zitao and i (haha) can reach the place of bliss and normalcy that we are both striving for. from author to.. character. this will most likely be a long journey but it focuses around those two. alrighty then. i just figured i'd write this because this fic is very personal and probably will not make sense til the end because i also need to work out some things on my part and lately i've been going with the flow. how do i end this?... hm. anyway, please enjoy. i figure this will be angst but don't worry, no character death here! just a lot of self discovery, muddled feelings, and a very very confused mind. 

ps; i was very much on the fence about posting this, but i'm prone to losing things 

and this is something i need to keep.